Читать книгу A Convenient Christmas Bride - Rhonda Gibson - Страница 14

Chapter Six

Anna Mae took one more look at her reflection in the mirror, then gathered her Bible and shawl in preparation for church. Today, sink, swim or drown, she’d face the gossipmongers and learn if her friends were true or not.

Almost a week had passed since Josiah’s proposal. She’d cowered in her room as much as possible, coming down for meals only after everyone else had left.

Miserable without the twins, she’d worried over Rose. Had Josiah remembered to administer the sweet oil twice a day? Were the girls wondering where she was? Did they cry for her at night? She’d shared their bedroom, many nights placing them in bed with her if they seemed distressed after she diapered them. Their mother had died when they were just babies, then their uncle and Emily Jane had cared for them. Finally their daddy had shown up and taken them. At least with Anna Mae at the farm they’d had the sense of stability of a mother for a brief few days.

Needless to say, the twins needed her, and she needed them. They filled a void she hadn’t recognized she had. That still small voice she’d grown to recognize as the Lord’s asked if she could just walk away from them.

Her friends, Emily Jane and Susanna had visited her. She’d shared Josiah’s proposal with them, purposefully leaving out the marriage-of-convenience part. They’d both been thrilled that he’d offered marriage and that she would be staying if she accepted his proposal.

When she finally wrapped her mind around that Josiah was offering “a marriage of convenience only,” she found it lacking to say the least. Josiah was another man who didn’t see her as a true wife. What was wrong with her? Did men see something she didn’t? Why couldn’t someone love her?

She arrived late at the church but still beat Josiah and the girls there by mere seconds. Josiah pulled the wagon to a stop at the boardwalk. The twins spotted her and both scrambled to get out of the box in the back. Anna Mae could no more stop herself from reaching for them than she could stop breathing. They fell over the side into her arms, causing her Bible to fall to the ground. Both chattered a mile a minute, though most of their words were unintelligible.

“Girls, girls. Calm down,” Josiah chided, but his eyes were lit with laughter and he seemed as pleased to see her as the twins. He recovered her Bible and reached for Rose. She fussed but finally released her hold on Anna Mae.

“Shall we go in?” he asked.

A wave of anxiety swept through her. “Maybe you should go first and I will sit near the back.” She started to hand Ruby over, but two little hands pressed against Anna Mae’s cheeks and Ruby’s lips quivered. “Ruby go you.” The little head shook up and down positively, a question in the depths of her eyes.

Anna Mae placed her forehead against the little girl’s. To turn this baby away could possibly relay that she wasn’t loved enough, that she somehow lacked the ability to be loved. Anna Mae knew all about those feelings. No way would she ever make this child feel unloved or unimportant. “We’ll all go together.” Bolstering her courage, she shifted Ruby to her side and walked up the church steps.

Josiah rushed ahead and pulled the door open. Anna Mae was happy to see that no one else waited on the steps or in the entryway as they entered. She slipped into the back pew and made room for Josiah and Rose. The piano began playing the moment they were seated. She breathed a sigh of relief, realizing that no one would be able to speak openly to her or about her until after the service.

When it was finished, Anna Mae hurriedly gathered her things. Please, Lord, don’t let anyone speak to me. Just this once, please, can I be selfish and make it out of here without embarrassment? Please, Lord? Just this once?

It seemed as if the Lord had too many people at that moment to listen to because Mrs. Harvey, a sweet older woman, immediately turned in her seat. “Anna Mae, I am so glad to see you this morning. I’d heard you were sick. Are you feeling better now?”

Anna Mae smiled at her. “Much better, thank you.”

The woman motioned for her to sit back down. She did and then Mrs. Harvey leaned against the pew and whispered, “You won’t have any more trouble from Thelma. I told her that if she breathed one word as to why you chose to quit teaching, I’d tell some of her secrets.” The sweet woman chuckled. “Don’t expect to hear her ever speak of it again.” She patted Anna Mae’s hand.