Читать книгу Dreaming of Babylon - Richard Brautigan - Страница 20

·38

“You’ve got a ·38, right?” Peg-leg said.

“How did you guess?”

“Knowing you it wasn’t hard.”

“What am I going to do?” I said.

“Why don’t you get a job?” Peg-leg said. “A lot of people work. It’s not like leprosy.”

“But I’ve got a client,” I said. “A real client.”

“You’ve had clients before and you’ve been fired before. Face it, pal. You’re not any good at this private detective business. If my wife was cheating I’d hire Donald Duck to find out who she was doing it with before I’d hire you, and I’m not even married. Why don’t you buy some bullets for your God-damn gun?”

“I don’t have any money,” I said.

“Not even enough to buy some bullets? Hell, they only cost a dollar or so.”

“I’ve fallen on hard times,” I said.

“I think the only good times I ever saw you have was when you got hit by a car last year,” Peg-leg said. “And some people don’t consider being hit by a car and breaking both your legs good luck.”

“What am I going to do?” I said.

Peg-leg shook his head and smiled painfully.

He opened the desk drawer and took out his gun and handed it to me.

“If some dead stranger comes back to life and throttles me while I’m trying to wash their face, it’ll be your fucking fault and I’ll come back and haunt you. You’ll never get a decent night’s sleep again. I’ll be flapping my sheet right up your asshole. You’ll be sorry.”

I put the gun in my coat pocket that didn’t already have a gun in it.

“Thanks a lot, Peg-leg,” I said. “You’re a true-blue pal.”

“You’re a total fuckup,” Peg-leg said. “I want to see that gun back here tomorrow morning.”

“Thank you,” I said, feeling like a real private detective with a loaded gun in my pocket. My luck was definitely changing. I was on my way up.