Читать книгу The English Rogue: Continued in the Life of Meriton Latroon, and Other Extravagants: The Second Part - Richard Head - Страница 9

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The Traveller describeth the place of his birth and Parents, the death of his elder Brother, and how through the perswasion of his Father; he resolved to follow thieving.

I was born in Goldin-Lane, a place scituate in the Suburbs of London, my Fathers name was Isaac, and by reason of his small stature was commonly called little Isaac, being a native of the same place, and by profession a Cobler; but such was his courage that he was much troubled when any one called him Cobler; and would reply, that he was a Translator, or a Transmographer of shooes. His Wife, who I believe was my Mother, was named Ursula; she was in the beginning of her dayes one of those sort of people that we call Gipsies, or Canting-Beggars, and my Father travelling into the Country, and wanting money to pay for a bed at night, he was forced to take up his lodging in a barn, where he first came to be acquainted with my Mother; whether they were ever married or no, I cannot tell, though I suppose they only took each others words, as being willing to save the charge of a Priests-hire. But notwithstanding the darkness of her complexion (as those sort of people commonly have,) there is not so bad a Jill, but there is as bad a Jack, for it was not long before she hornifid my Father by a Banbury Tinker: which thing was so well known amongst the neighbors, that they would commonly make horns with their fingers, and point at him as he passed along the streets. My eldest brother at seven years of age attained to such ingenuity that he seldom carried home any mended shooes to a Gentlemans or Citizens house, but he would filch either linnen, silver-spoons, or something else of worth, which by negligent servants was not laid up safely; which trade he drave for some space of time, being by reason of his childish years not in the least suspected, but the pitcher goes not so often to the well, but at length it comes broken home: In processe of time he was taken with the theft, and for the same carried to Newgate, where poor little Angel (peace be with him) he dyed in prison, under the pennance of a discipline which was applied to him with a little too much rigour.

Our whole family smarted in his punishment, my father sighed, my mother sobbed, and I wanted my part of those dainty morsels, which his theft furnished us withall, for by him my father drave a pretty trade; having those who always furnished him with ready money for whatsoever he brought, and indeed his loss would have utterly disconsolated my father, but the great hopes that he had in mee, who was now come to the same age that my brother was of when he first began to exercise his gifts in the mystery of theivery; and that I might tread the same steps that my brother had done before me, my father (upon a certain day, when my mother and he and I were alone by our selves) began thus for to endoctrinate me.

My son (said he) the profession of a thief is not of so base repute as the world gives it out, considering what brave men have in former times exercised themselves in this way: I have heard the Clerk of our parish say, who I assure you was a well read man, that Robin Hood that famous thief was in his yonger dayes Earl of Huntingdon; and that Alexander the Great was no better then a thief in robbing other Princes of their Kingdoms and Crowns. (This it seems he spake in vindication of the Sexton, who used to rob the dead corps of their sheets and shirts, and those other necessaries which they carried along with them in their voyage to heaven.) I tell thee he who steales not, knows not how to live in this world, nay doth not almost each thing in the world teach us for to steal? doe we not see youth steal upon infancy, manhood steale upon youth, and old age upon manhood, until at last death stealeth upon us undiscern’d and bringeth us to our long homes: How doth summer steal on the spring, autumn on summer, and winter on autumn, untill all the whole year is stole out of our sight. Pray what doe rich Farmers and griping Cormorants, but steal when they exact in their prices of corn, and grind the faces of the poor; and how can shop-keepers wipe off the aspersion of theft from themselves when they sell a commodity for twice the worth of it, and thereby cozen the buyer; so that we see if things be rightly scanned, there be more thieves in the world than only Taylors, Millers, and Weavers. And what I pray you makes Serjants, Bayliffs, and Catchpoles so to envy us, and persecute us as they doe, but that one trade still envies and malignes another; and would by their good wills suffer no other theives but themselves; this it is that makes them so double diligent in the surprizal of us, though oftentimes our craft forestals their malice, as I shall instance to you in one memorable example.

My self and two of my comrades had agreed to rob a rich Usurer, whose younger brother having vitiously wasted his estate, was forced to take this his brothers house for sanctuary, where he kept as close as a snail in his shell, unless only at such times when as he imagined the darkness of the night might shrewd him in obscurity, he so dreaded these shoulder clappers, who stick closer to a man than a bur on his cloak, for being once got into their clutches, you may as soon wring Hercules club out of his fist, as get free from their fingers; and herein have thieves a great priviledge over debters, for the most notorious thief that ever was, once in a months time he is carted out of prison, as others for smaller matters are freed from durance by following the cart, where a fellow with a catt of nine tayles doth play him such a lesson, as makes him to skip and mount for joy of his deliverance; but with a poor debter the case is far different, for being once in prison, the best teame of Horses that ever drew in a waggon, cannot draw him out from thence without a silver hook.

But to speak of that (some) which more properly belongs unto thee (for I suppose thou wilt never attain to such credit as for to be laid up in prison for debt,) by the help of a servant of the house, who went sharers with us in our prey, we got a false key made to the back door, whereby (one night) we attained an easie entrance, and loaded our selves, to our hearts content; but in our return one of our companions chanced to sneeze, and therewithal brake wind so violently behind, that it waked the old usurer, who suspitious of the least noise presently cryed out Thieves, thieves: Trusty Roger his man was very ready to rise at first allarm, fearing that our discovery might prove prejudicial to his liberty, and lighting a candle, pretended to search every hole in the house, into which it was possible for a mouse to enter; In the meane time we lay close, yet not, unperceived by this false servant, who very formally told his Master that all was safe and well, and that he might take his rest without any fear; But the dread of his hearing us prolonged our stay, so long, that day began to approach, whereupon fearing more danger from without than from within, we prepared for our departure, but having opened the door, we found that we had leapt out of the frying pan into the fire, and by shunning Scylla were fallen into Charibdis, for four of these Catchpoles were waiting at the door for the Usurers brother, having intelligence belike that he used to make the dusky morning and dark evening the two shrowds that carried him safely out and into his Brothers house; Now I going out of the door first, one of these robustious fellows laid hands upon me, taking me for the party they waited for, my two companions endeavouring to rescue me were seized on by the other three Baylifs, so that we seeing no hopes of escape, resolved to cry whore first, and with full mouth cryed out Thieves, thieves; Trusty Roger and the man that should have been arrested, hearing this cry, took weapons in their hands, and out of doors they came, where Roger soon perceiving how the business went ah you Rogues (said he) doe you come to rob my Master? and thereupon laid so nimbly about him, being seconded by the other, that the Bailiffs were glad to let us go to defend themselves. Whilest they were thus busied in pelting each other, we slipped away with our prize, and to take a full revenge of those Catch-poles, raised several of the neighbors, whom we sent to the apprehending of the Bayliffs, whilest we marched away in safety; what became of them afterwards I doe not know, onely this I tell thee, to let thee see that there is not any danger whatsoever so great, but by wit and cunningness may be avoided. This story I heard with great attention which so wrought upon my mind that I thought my self no less than a second Robin Hood or little John, and thereupon resolved to put in speedy execution my fathers dictates which yet proved very unfortunate to me, as you will finde by that which follows.