Читать книгу Notorious: The Maddest and Baddest Sportsmen on the Planet - Richard Bath - Страница 12

After winning the European Championship in 1992 with Denmark in one of sport’s great fairytales, the pro-digiously talented Luton Town footballer quit the beautiful game at the height of his powers to join the Wild Geese religious commune in Copenhagen. During his time with the Geese, he was to become ‘a body artist’ and rechristen himself Dorando, but it was all to end in tears.

Seven years after joining the cult, which he eventually came to run with his then girlfriend, Elstrup decided he needed a dose of self-diagnosed therapy and got it by playing music so loud that it blew all of his speakers. Even hippies draw the line somewhere, and by way of punishment Elstrup’s better half denied him visiting rights to his pet daschund. Naturally enough, this was the cue for the suicide bid which saw him kicked out of the commune seven years after he’d joined. ‘I was so depressed that I saw no reason to carry on. I tried to hang myself and cut my wrists but I couldn’t go through with it. I lay in bed for eighteen hours a day for two years.’

Not that that was the end of loony Lars. He made a brief comeback with Danish side Odense, during which he starred in a memorable testimonial match with former Denmark keeper Peter Schmeichel. ‘He screamed at me to defend,’ said Elstrup, ‘so I said, “Shut up, you big fuck”. He was so shocked he dropped the ball and their striker scored!’

After quitting Odense, Elstrup was soon in trouble again, this time for slapping a schoolboy. And then, nine years after he’d quit football, he mysteriously turned up in the middle of Copenhagen’s busiest pedestrian shopping street circled by a rope and waving his penis at passers-by. ‘In some respects,’ he said shortly before being removed by the police while kicking and screaming and threatening legal action in the European Court of Human Rights, ‘I do this to provoke people. I am very aware of people’s reactions and I love the fact that people recognise me as Lars Elstrup.’

Nakedness and cross-dressing have become themes for Elstrup. The former striker now wears women’s clothing all the time, and was arrested for showing his manhood in a mall while wearing a dress and rollerskates. Asked what he was doing by the police, he said simply: ‘We must drop our masks and examine our own shit.’

The last sighting of Elstrup was in London, when he made a guest appearance for the New Musical Express’s football side wearing only a pair of skimpy paisley underpants. Having scored five goals in their 9-5 win over lad’s mag Loaded, during which he had constantly exhorted his team-mates to drink more water, he then ran to the sidelines screaming ‘Yellow piss is for losers’. Asked if he fancied a post-match pint, a virtually naked Elstrup answered: ‘No…pussy’ and was last seen running full-tilt towards the fleshpots of Soho.