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With the many unique situations and surrounding circumstances, I have yet to find a template that all caregivers could follow. Resources, such as this book, can only provide guidance; what your experience will become is yours and yours alone.

People vary considerably with personalities, abilities, mannerisms, and beliefs. What is “right” or proper for one person may not be for another. Different cultural practices may also come into play. Recognize your own strengths and limitations. The following are some of the questions you will need to consider:

• What can you do?

• How much can you do?

• Why are certain issues or projects important for you to manage?

• What do you want to do?

• How do you want to accomplish this?

• Who can help you?

• Can you work well with others or do you prefer to work independently?

• Can you lessen your load and delegate work to others?

It is perfectly natural to feel uncomfortable performing certain tasks. If you understand your caregiving style, you will be far better prepared to tackle every task that comes your way, and decide whether to leave it or delegate the task to someone else. You do not — and should not — always have to juggle everything yourself. How you approach your own caregiving role is always your own way so don’t let anyone tell you what is best for you and your loved one. It’s time to do an honest self-evaluation to identify your own caregiving characteristics. Good caregiving characteristics are described by Anne Togher in her informative article, “What is Your Caregiver Style?,” published in October of 2009. (To read the article, search online using the title.) The following sections cover my experience on caregiving characteristics, which is a variation on Togher’s caregiving characteristics.

You will likely recognize yourself as one, or a combination of, the following caregiving types. As you will see, there is no cookie-cutter caregiver. You may well identify with different character traits and not neatly slide into just one category. The trick is to know what you are best at and proceed accordingly.

At the end of this book you will find a Caregiving Self-Analysis worksheet to help you identify your strengths and weaknesses as a caregiver.