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Chapter Three

No Room for Crappy Scripts

Writing Films That Fit Your Budget

Checklist time. You have your location. Check. You’re gung-ho about making a short film. Duh. You understand what a good story is. Check. You have a screenwriting program to write your script. “Uh oh,” you say. “I wrote all my story notes on napkins and toilet paper.”

Hell yeah! That’s a good start; means you’re being creative. Bonus DIY points. Who cares what you wrote your story on? Write it on your forehead for all we care. Oh, wait a minute. Your entire film crew and all the actors need a copy. And the story you wrote based on the locations you acquired needs to be in script form. Crud. Better write a screenplay.

All right, let’s jump right into the cheap-ass budget method of creating your script.

First off, if you don’t have a computer, steal one. Just kidding. Borrow one when no one is looking. Again, joking. It’s 2017. You don’t have a computer? What the hell?

Seriously, the best way to write a script is by using a screenwriting program, and the best type of screenwriting program is the one that says free next to it.

Some filmmakers say there’s a certain screenwriting program that must be used in order to be a professional filmmaker (not naming names or program names—why would we do that?). Either way, not true in indie filmmaking. And to be real, we just don’t see a difference when you have a printed PDF of your script in front of you. Our experts have gone over these scripts with mega-magnifying glasses and chemically tested them in our secret laboratories. They came up with no differences!

We recommend Celtx (this can change. Do your research!). It’s free and we believe the program functions close to industry standards. We’re not forcing it on you. Feel free to browse the Interwebs and grab another free program. We just go with what already works.

All right. Got that cousin’s computer you promised to borrow for only a week? And some Internet? (Hopefully that’s free, too.)

Great. You’re almost ready to start typing your script.

Screenwriting used to require intensive formatting. Back in the olden days, you had to be Albert Einstein to know all the indents and fancy tabs. You had to input those yourself into a word-processing program. Forget about it. Those days are over. Nowadays, screenwriting programs do this for you. Aren’t you lucky? Pat yourself on the back. Technology loves you.

Before you think we’re going to hold your hand through every filmmaking glossary term imaginable, think again. How does it go? Let us Google that for you? Seriously, look up and familiarize yourself with script terminology. Screenwriting programs even help with scene headers these days and have lots of tutorials and help functions. You’ll be toggling between DAY/NIGHT/CONT (the time of day your story is taking place) and INT/EXT (interior or exterior scenes) and CHARACTERS with ease. Before you know it, you’ll be zooming through your script, fleshing out scenes, writing engaging dialogue, descriptions, and within a few days (if not sooner), you’ll have a rough draft.

But don’t think you’re done writing.

Nope.

Now comes the part most beginning writers hate: critiques.

Sometimes called workshopping your script, critiques are when you take your rough draft to some serious writers who know story, plot, visuals, characters, etc. Warning: do not share your script with your mom who works for county wastewater. Nor share with your wife who sells cars. Forget family. Well, not totally. Wait, yes, forget them. They’ll ruin you. Hold on now. Don’t get mad. Think about it. You need some artists in your life, some fellow filmmakers, some writers who understand the creative process. Don’t take your script to people who aren’t artists. They won’t know what they’re talking about. Ask them to support your filmmaking career in other ways, like helping out at screenings, or donating money for equipment and acting talent. Don’t have them read your script. Never the script. Not even if they beg. Yes, yes, there are exceptions (once every 10,000 generations), but do keep this in mind—non-creative types will say the most vile things imaginable. We can just hear some teen-horror filmmaker’s mother throwing a script, screaming, “Why do you want to make a movie about chopping someone’s head off? Your father and I thought we raised you better than that!”

“It’s about orcs, Mom. Killer orcs. In a mythical land.”

“No, it’s about you wanting to kill everyone.”

Blah blah blah.

Back to your script.

Set your ego aside. Really. Dislodge from your five-star ego brain for five seconds. Every story and script needs revision. No first draft is amazing (though the ideas behind them may be). It’s your second, third, or sometimes your fiftieth draft that shines. Is the script in your friends’ hands? Good. Your filmmaker and writer buddies will understand how your story needs to match your locations. They’ll see whether or not your dialogue is too longwinded, or too boring, or too choppy. They’ll catch those underdeveloped scenes and flat characters, and help you identify those areas that could grow your story.

These are called developmental suggestions. And do us a favor. Don’t just ask your buddies if they like your script. Does your ego really need a pat on the back? You can say that crap to yourself in a mirror. And don’t ask your friends yes or no questions. Allow them to write detailed suggestions.

Does this mean your pals are right about everything?

No. This is your story. Your script. And most of all, your film. Their suggestions are just that. Suggestions.