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Table on contents. Foreword
Chapter 1
Becoming a mother: psychological initiation experience
“It’s hard to get through”
Difference between patient and client
“Don’t see any obstacles”
“It’s hard to get through”: commentary
“It is hard to get through”: post scriptum
Infertility reasons: psychological and medical points of view
Women’s bodies, women’s wisdom
Childbirth as initiation
Initiation in fairy-tales
Chapter 2
Male factor
Male infertility
Women who love too much
“Kittens”15
In fine font
“Kittens”: commentary
“Receive the package earlier”
“Receive the package earlier”: commentary
“Rice on the inside of a pot”
“Rice on the inside of a pot”: commentary
“Rice on the inside of a pot”: post scriptum
“Motionless sperm”
Chapter 3
Mal (e) practice
Cosmos means order
Eggs on credit
“Jumble”
“Jumble”: commentary
Violating boundaries
“Jumble”: post scriptum
How about a kiss?
Chapter 4
Saving oneself is one’s own business
Responsibility and conception
Risk factors
Leo Tolstoy’s heroines and their attitude towards motherhood
Liza Bolkonskaya: dying in labor
“Temporary difficulties”
“Temporary difficulties”: commentary
“Temporary difficulties”: post scriptum
Kitty Levina giving birth
Profane and sacred
“Circle made of colored paper”
Chapter 5
Why medicine does not help me?
Medical approach to infertility
Medical lingo
“A word can kill”
“Drawing of an apple”
The ultimate truth
How should infertility be treated?
My story: “Cold feet”
Escalation of symptom
Chapter 6
Psychotherapy as an alternative to medicine
How does psychotherapy work
“She is bound, but he has an option”
“She is bound, but he has an option”: commentary
“She is bound, but he has an option”: post scriptum
The way I hear it, of translation from Martian62
The method of Socrates irony
“Rubbish in the head”
“Rubbish in the head”: commentary
“The circumstances are such, that there is no opportunity”
Chapter 7
To give birth or not to give birth
Doubts should be voiced
Is being a mother worth the suffering?
“Wasted tickets”
To name the beast
“Mother’s call”
Chapter 8
Mother’s curse or mother’s blessing?
“Useless achievement of the ancestors”
“Useless achievement of the ancestors”: commentary
“Useless achievement of the ancestors”: post scriptum
Curse and blessing
“Having children is scary”
“Having children is scary!”: commentary
“Having children is scary”: post scriptum
“Higher power”
“Higher Power”: commentary
“I planned you”
“I planned you”: commentary
“Reconcile the antagonists”
“Reconcile the antagonists”: commentary
“Reconcile the antagonists”: post scriptum
“I wish I gave birth instead of you”
“I wish I gave birth instead of you”: commentary
“Hug stronger – let go – get off”
My personal story
Story of my daughter
“I wish I gave birth instead of you”: post scriptum
Chapter 9
Infertile couple is two people!
“Delegate the responsibility”
“Delegate the responsibility”: commentary
“Synchrony”
“Synchrony”: commentary
“Two dogs”
“Two dogs”: commentary
Chapter 10
Sterile flowers
Leo Tolstoy again
“No feelings”
“No feelings”: commentary
My doubts
“No feelings”: post scriptum
“Late child”
“Late child”: commentary
“Afraid to have a baby with Down syndrome”
God does not make mistakes
“Afraid to have a baby with Down syndrome”: commentary
“Afraid to have a baby with Down syndrome”: post scriptum
“Shock trauma: consequences of violence”
“Shock trauma: consequences of violence”: commentary
“It’s been ten years”
“It’s been ten years”: commentary
Chapter 11
Restoring the essence
Milton Erickson: “Shock therapy”
“Shock therapy”: commentary
“Waking up the libido”
“Waking up the libido”: commentary
Revolt of the kittens
“Young husband”
“Young husband”: commentary
Chapter 12
Limitations give birth to new opportunities
The mind knows, the body won’t allow it
Fairytale “Snow Maden”
Crisis of the middle of life
“Bridge”
“Bridge”: commentary
What to fill one’s life with?
“Give me a sign”
“Give me a sign”: commentary
Ability to childbearing as a metaphor
There are many reasons why people can’t have children. According to the dominant in our society materialistic point of view on childbirth the issue is of purely technical nature and can be fixed like fixing a car. However, cases described in this book show that these issues have psychological reasons. And they can be fixed if we see the meaning of what is going on and understand it. Usually, if we do, any medical interventions become unnecessary.
I own a whole collection of babies’ photos born by “infertile” women as a result of our both individual and group psychotherapy meetings. I’m really proud of my collection. Besides, it is a piece of “evidence” proving that psychotherapy works. “Impartial” doctors diagnosed these women with fertility issues. The diagnosis included infertility, missed miscarriage, repeated miscarriage. These were numerous sad stories from very different women of childbearing age. And all of them had a happy ending.
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– How was that?
– He was not himself. The day before he insisted I packed my stuff and moved out of my parents’. I got scared and came without my stuff. He got angry and said he would drive me back if I was not able decide; he got me into the car and drove. He was going over the speed limit and ran down a woman who was crossing the street.
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