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What Truly Attracts Certain Men to You – and the Gaslighting of “Reality Manifestation” Coaches

In our time, it has become extremely trendy to “manifest reality” – to decide what you want and then “attract” it through various techniques (writing something down, thinking about it, or, conversely, not thinking about it, etc.).

To be honest, these methods do not always work, especially when no actual energetic or magical application is involved. This is not necessarily because such techniques are bad – on the contrary, some are quite positive.

There are indeed cases when a few of them do work, thanks to: supportive planetary transits, our correct attitude or behavior in a given situation, or simply because certain events are destined to occur.

The real problem with this “manifestation” industry begins where all kinds of so-called “coaches” or “mentors” start handing out advice like: “Listen to this sound, and he’ll call you,” or shifting all responsibility for a woman’s life onto her with lines such as: “If you’re not in a relationship, it means you don’t want it enough,” “Something in you attracts the wrong men,” or other primitive formulas like: “You just don’t know how to build relationships with men, that’s why you’ve ended up doing everything yourself – now you’re so independent.”

All these statements are directed at women without any genuine understanding of who they are, and without any professional psychological evaluation. Such “mentors” never pause to consider that there are forces beyond what a person consciously wants or does. It is not simply a matter of wanting or not wanting – that notion is deeply misleading.

That very “something” which attracts the wrong men is not necessarily your fault. Yes, perhaps there is some inner work to do; perhaps you simply need to learn to choose better and stop compromising – to stop wasting your time (and that is precisely why I am writing these words now). But perhaps it’s also time to understand, through your natal chart, what kind of men you are naturally inclined to attract – until the right one finally appears.

In a woman’s horoscope, Mars represents the partner or lover, while Jupiter represents the husband. By analyzing the positions of Mars and Jupiter, along with: the 5th house (which, among other things, relates to romance and emotional connections), the 8th house (the house of intimacy), and the 7th house (the house of marriage and partnership), you can begin to understand why you have encountered men who weren’t truly right for you – and what will continue to happen if you keep holding on to men of that same type.

Mars

Mars + Rahu Conjunction – Angaraka Yoga

Rahu amplifies the demonic nature of Mars.

This is an extremely tense and volatile combination, bringing with it great power, impulsiveness, and intense passion, but also a strong tendency toward outbursts, obsessiveness (intrusive, uncontrollable thoughts), and violent quarrels when things go wrong.

It may lead to relationship instability or infidelity on the part of men. (Infidelity here does not necessarily mean a physical act with another woman; it refers to any form of betrayal or harmful deceit.)

The influence is even stronger when this yoga aspects the fifth house.

A woman with this configuration may attract unusual, unpredictable, or violent men – manipulative, emotionally volatile, and with a hidden aggressive side that eventually surfaces once they feel comfortable enough to reveal it.

In extreme cases, she may encounter men without moral values, with criminal tendencies, or those who make promises and create illusions of effort or devotion – only for it to later become clear that it was never sincere.

In some cases, such men refuse to let go, engaging in stalking or obsessive monitoring long after the connection has ended.

If you have this conjunction in your natal chart and begin to feel nauseous after arguments, or if unpleasant events happen soon after spending time with such a man, or you feel physically unwell – this is a clear sign to run.

It is said that when Mars or Jupiter are in conjunction with Rahu, one possible remedy for the chart holder is marriage to someone from a different culture, which can neutralize part of the negative influence – provided, of course, that other factors in the chart also indicate such a possibility.

Mars + Sun Conjunction

This placement shows a tendency to attract dark, power-based connections, and may be associated with sadism and masochism, dominance games, and a love of control.

Girls with this conjunction in their natal chart may have been aggressive or confrontational in childhood, picking fights or being irritated by trivial things. They may display anger toward other girls and show signs of bullying behavior. There is a risk of abuse – both giving and receiving it. For example, such a girl might laugh when someone falls or gets hurt, yet if she herself is scolded or corrected, she will withdraw and cry.

The type of men this placement attracts are those who enjoy playing with others’ emotions, wasting women’s time, and using them. Such a man might convince his partner that they are “not ready yet” for marriage, even after several years together – and she will agree, out of fear of being alone. For her, being alone feels like failure. This type of man will make her work hard in the relationship, compromise excessively, or forgive the unforgivable.

Women with this placement who are in relationships with such men may experience illness or energy depletion.

Their feminine essence does not blossom, and their values in love become distorted.

If any additional planet joins this Mars–Sun conjunction, the effects become more severe.

Mars + Moon Conjunction – Chandra Mangala Dosha

This conjunction is considered a dosha – a serious flaw in the natal chart. The Moon represents emotions and the psyche, while Mars represents fire and war.

Together, they create an inner storm, hypersensitivity, or a lack of empathy, extremes, drama, and emotional volatility.

It may lead to emotional instability in relationships or attraction to partners who behave in such ways – unstable, moody, impulsive, and at times deriving pleasure from hurting others.

Mars in Cancer

Cancer is the sign of Mars’s debilitation (governed by the Moon), which makes Mars very weak here.

There may be difficulty expressing desires clearly, a tendency toward hypersensitivity and suppressed irritation, which sometimes bursts out unexpectedly.

Emotional imbalance can “castrate” the men involved with such a woman – or, from the start, she may be prone to attracting weak or dependent men.

Men drawn to her may be overly emotional, dramatic, sentimental, or exhausting to deal with.

A woman with Mars in Cancer may also have a tendency toward envy of other women and may unintentionally destroy female friendships.

Retrograde Mars

A person (man or woman) with retrograde Mars often carries deep internalized anger, which leads to disappointment, lack of motivation, laziness, and a habit of shifting responsibility to others.

There may be dependence, or a tendency to seek help instead of taking independent action.

At the same time, there can be strong jealousy toward those who succeed.

Difficulty in self-expression can lead to delayed achievements or even harm to others. There may be frustration related to sexuality, insecurity, or strange and aggressive behavior in romantic relationships.

Such a person may miss opportunities due to anger, fear, stagnation, or apathy. They prefer to believe that success will “fall from the sky” rather than work for it.

Laziness can also manifest in learning – they avoid acquiring skills independently, expect help, and once they receive it, they may “stab in the back” and twist the story to appear as a victim, seeking to achieve a false “victory” through deception and manipulation, when they clearly don’t deserve it.

If Saturn in the chart also does not indicate discipline, the person may suffer from chronic lateness, act as though oblivious to their own faults, and constantly believe that “the world owes them something.” They often shift blame to others.

However, if someone with retrograde Mars has even a minimal level of self-awareness, they can balance this blocked energy through deep spiritual and physical work – meditation, sports, yoga, and similar practices.

As long as they avoid falling into a negative mindset and instead choose a direct, kind, and disciplined path, they can achieve great success.

Moon and Mars at the Same Degree

In this case, the Moon and Mars don’t have to be in the same house – but if they share the same degree, they automatically cast a full aspect upon each other.

Wherever they are placed, this can signify relationship difficulties, involvement with unfit, offensive, or toxic people.

For example: if the Moon is at 10° in one house and Mars is at 10° in another, without considering minutes, this aspect exists and can indicate conflictual emotional dynamics and unhealthy attachments.

Venus

Ketu + Venus Conjunction

Detachment, inner emptiness, and a sense of dissatisfaction in relationships. Difficulty committing fully or truly feeling love – and, on the other hand, difficulty leaving or distancing oneself when a connection is unhealthy. Lingering resentment toward ex-partners who have left. A tendency to attract emotionally unavailable men (sometimes with violent tendencies), who avoid commitment or are capable of simply disappearing without explanation.

Sun + Venus Conjunction

When the Sun blinds Venus, it both enhances beauty and talent (especially when Venus is close to the Sun in degrees and in certain signs) yet destroys relationships.

Men may be drawn to such a woman for her looks but enter into exploitative or superficial relationships.

She must learn to choose men more wisely, allowing them to truly prove their sincerity and good intentions before entering a romantic connection.

Saturn + Venus Conjunction

At best, this placement brings delayed relationships or marriage, because Saturn tends to slow down whatever it touches. There may be emotional coldness, difficulty expressing feelings, and a sense of dryness or limitation in relationships.

It can also signify a lack of pleasure in romantic connections.

Venus in the 8th House or as the Ruler of the 8th House

The eighth house governs sexuality, crisis, secrets, and power.

Venus placed here may indicate karmic, turbulent relationships marked by jealousy, obsessive dynamics of “push and pull,” infidelity, and connections that bring both intense passion and pain.

Venus in the 6th, 8th, or 12th houses often signifies complex relationships, emotional suffering, hidden matters, or financial issues – and the partner may experience similar difficulties.

Venus in Earth Signs: Taurus, Virgo, and Capricorn

A need for security, stability, and practicality, sometimes at the expense of genuine feeling or romance.

In Virgo (Venus’s sign of fall): criticism, unrealistic expectations, materialism, and difficulty expressing emotions.

In Capricorn: excessive seriousness, rigidity, discipline, and emotional restraint.

In Taurus: possessiveness and attachment.

A woman with Venus in Taurus may – if supported by other planetary factors – spend her twenties waiting for a wealthy man with a luxury car and a degree, as though those things guarantee generosity.

She might reject someone simply because he lacks a diploma, ignoring his personal qualities.

By her thirties, under social pressure and the fear of time passing, she may become a “pick-me” woman – willing to lower her self-worth just to be chosen, even trying to “buy” a man in order not to be left alone or without a child.

If she grew up only with her mother and without a father, she may subconsciously hold the belief that “a man is needed only to have children – and that’s all.” This attitude can draw career-driven yet emotionally cold, calculating, and exploitative men that criticize her.

Atma Karaka Venus

The Atma Karaka is the planet with the highest degree in the natal chart. If this planet is Venus, the person’s soul lessons lie in the realm of love and relationships. Such individuals are often drawn to unworthy or incompatible partners, serving as catalysts for spiritual growth.

Through pain and loss, they learn to release attachment and avoid clinging to destructive relationships.

Retrograde Venus

Those with retrograde Venus express love in an unusual and often misunderstood way. The root cause may be insecurity or low self-esteem, though outwardly they may seem confident.

A woman with retrograde Venus breaks traditional dating rules – she might take the initiative, make the first move, or openly express interest. However, many men interpret this as a lack of self-worth, not as confidence, and lose attraction. As a result, she may experience short-lived romances or attract emotionally damaged partners. No one has ever seen an egg swim toward the sperm – until they meet a woman with retrograde Venus.

At times, immaturity and the fairy-tale dream of marriage can drive such a woman into the wrong relationships or make her obsessed with marriage at a very young age, when her life is just beginning.

After marrying and starting a family, she eventually realizes that love is not as simple as she imagined.

Her life lesson is to learn to love herself as she is, instead of seeking a man to fill her emotional void.

Jupiter

Jupiter in Earth Signs: Taurus, Virgo, and Capricorn

Like Venus in Earth signs, Jupiter in Earth signs seeks material security and growth through practical means, but it may be emotionally or spiritually limited.

This restricts the natural sense of expansion, faith, and ease in relationships.

Men whom a woman with such Jupiter placements attracts are often focused on material success, yet less emotionally sensitive and unlikely to pursue deep or soulful connections.

Capricorn is Jupiter’s sign of debilitation; therefore, a woman may attract a man who is far from her ideal partner. In such cases, it is important to check Jupiter’s position in the D9 (Navamsha) chart and the D7 (Saptamsha) chart to see his full characteristics from all angles. If Jupiter’s positions are better in these divisional charts, the situation is not necessarily as dire.

Moon Positioned 6–8 Houses Away from Jupiter

In a woman’s chart, this placement creates an inner conflict between what she believes to be “right” and the kind of men she actually chooses throughout her life. She may compromise with unworthy partners, which later leads to difficulty trusting others in relationships.

The paradox is that she chose them herself, even if she hoped everything would turn out well.

With time and experience, however, she learns to choose better and more consciously.

General Placements

Ruler of the 5th House in the 8th House

The 5th house symbolizes love, romance, and creativity. When its ruler is placed in the 8th house, love often passes through crisis, secrecy, or painful transformation. It may be difficult to experience lightness or simple joy in relationships, because the men she attracts often carry emotional baggage and are not necessarily loyal or transparent.

Condition of the 7th House

When the ruler of the 7th house resides in challenging houses (6th, 8th, or 12th), it can indicate difficulties in relationships and, in some cases, divorce or financial complications and debts accumulated during marriage.

It is crucial to ensure that the partner has no loans or debts before marriage, and in any case, it is highly recommended to sign a prenuptial agreement to protect oneself financially.

Indicators of Possible Loneliness in the Natal Chart

There are several signs that may point toward a tendency for solitude; to draw conclusions, it is necessary that more than one of these factors be present:

Dara Karaka = Mercury: The Dara Karaka (planet representing the spouse) is a genderless planet, which may reduce emphasis on partnership.

Kemadruma Yoga: When the house before the Moon and the house after the Moon are both empty, the Moon stands alone in its house and receives no benefic aspects – this yoga can foretell loneliness or isolation.

Stellium (three or more planets in one house): Can indicate difficulty finding a suitable life partner in some cases.

Rahu in the 4th house: May bring emotional isolation or a feeling of not belonging.

Saturn in the 7th house: Leads to delayed marriage and prolonged solitude, even if the person is attractive to others – relationships simply fail to progress.

Moon in the 12th house: The person tends toward seclusion, feeling most comfortable alone or in retreat.

Chiron

The position of Chiron in the natal chart reveals a deep, hard-to-heal wound that originates from past incarnations. In one of these lives, the person was wounded in some way and never fully recovered or moved on. In relationships, this manifests as repetitive experiences of emotional pain, rejection, or insecurity.

Men who appear in such a woman’s life often trigger that very wound, so that she can learn to rise above it and heal differently this time.