Читать книгу My Name is N - Robert Karjel - Страница 13

I got back home at 8 p.m. with the two bottles of Sancerre. Heike was in and on the iced water. I joined her and she served me with a raised eyebrow.

‘I don’t mind watching you get off your face, you know,’ she said.

‘Maybe I mind,’ I said. ‘Don’t want you to see something you don’t like.’

‘Something I’ve never seen before?’ she said, snaking an arm around my neck, crushing me into a kiss.

‘I was going to say…something that could sneak out after I’ve had a few which you’ve never noticed before, being in the same condition, as you are most of the time you’re with me.’

‘You think I could stay young and beautiful drinking the way you do?’ she said, stroking my face hard, trying to iron out those creases.

‘I was also going to say that sobriety’s a very unforgiving state.’

‘Then you must be a very forgiving person,’ she said. ‘But with nothing to forgive. You’re flying already. I could smell you from the door.’

‘That Sancerre’s going to go down as well,’ I said. ‘And when I’ve finished this glass of water I’m going to have a Grande Beninoise. I’ve been talking a lot and it’s dehydrated me.’

‘I’m glad you’re not reforming just because you’re going to be a father.’

‘Maybe in the last few months before D-day I’ll start trying to be good.’

‘They’ve already got a brain after two months. They hear things.’

‘But they don’t know what they mean.’

‘Babies are very tonal,’ she said.

‘It’ll learn to sleep to the clinking of glass.’

‘Because it’s all crap after that.’

‘Well, I’ve just been told I’m very interesting.’

‘By your drinking pal?’ she said. ‘That’s a very sad thing for you to be saying, Bruce Medway.’

I opened the beer and drank it like I said I would. We sat down to eat, a Spanish chicken dish called chilindron, which was good for the climate. The chilli kept the sweat up. I idled over the Sancerre while Helen cleared the plates and brought the Red Label out, which she put down with a thump and a sigh. I sent her back with it and she gave me one of her half-lidded, muddy-eyed looks that told me I wasn’t fooling her.

‘Don’t hold back on my account,’ said Heike.

‘I’ve got to go out tonight,’ I said.

‘Oh yes?’

‘Clubbing.’

‘Anybody I should know?’

‘It’s work.’

‘You shouldn’t bring it home with you.’

‘I wouldn’t, but the guy I want to see runs a bar down the Jonquet and it doesn’t get going until midnight.’

‘Which bar?’

‘A place called L’ouistiti. I’m told it means “marmoset” – you know it?’

‘I’ve had a drink in there before now.’

‘Who with?’

‘An American Peace Corp worker. It’s their after-work joint. Grim, unless you like grunging it.’

‘You know me, Heike,’ I said. ‘Who was the Peace Corp worker?’

‘Robyn.’

I dead-eyed her.

‘With a “y”,’ she added.

‘Aha-a,’ we said, tipping our glasses at each other. ‘Just checking there.’

‘I’m flattered,’ she said, sounding the opposite.

‘This ouistiti place…?’

‘It’s run by a guy called Michel Charbonnier.’

‘You know him?’ I asked.

‘He’s a creep.’

‘What sort of a creep?’

‘A sex creep.’

‘Touchy, feely?’

‘Breathey, breathey.’

‘I’ll keep my distance.’

‘I don’t know how you do it, Bruce.’

‘Bring myself to the marks for the Michel Charbonniers of this world?’

‘He’s probably the lighter end of it too.’

‘You’d have liked the guy I was with this evening.’

‘The one who thought you were interesting? I don’t think so. That hotel-barroom mutual back-slapping bullshit isn’t my kind of conversation.’

‘I’ve got to go away tomorrow too…an all-nighter.’

‘With Mr Interesting…on our day off?’ she said, irritated. ‘He must have made a big impression. Where’re you going?’

‘Maybe Grand-Popo.’

‘What sort of an answer is that?’

‘A tricky one.’

‘This isn’t going to be a row but…’

‘I’ve noticed that when one of us isn’t drinking we don’t row.’

‘When I’m not drinking. You’re never not drinking.’

‘If it’s not going to be a row why’s it already sounding like one?’

‘I don’t want it to be a row but…’

‘No more “buts”. You’ve softened me up. Ask your question.’

‘What’s the attraction?’

‘Of the work?’

‘It’s not the money, is it?’

‘Why do you think Bagado likes the work?’

‘Note,’ she said, pointing at the imaginary stenographer, ‘he didn’t answer the question. Bagado, well, Bagado has different motives. He has a sincere belief that he’s acting for the force of good against evil. He’s on a mission, a crusade.’

‘And I just like rummaging in drawers.’

‘Maybe that’s it.’

‘I’m not as cynical as you might think.’

‘Most of the time you seem to be acting for the good.’

‘That sounds like Bagado talking,’ I said.

Silence.

‘You never told me very much and nowadays even less,’ she said.

‘I don’t tell Bagado either. He’s a policeman. I can’t. And anyway, you don’t want to hear.’

‘True.’

‘So what does Bagado say about me?’

‘You won’t like it.’

‘Maybe I’ll withdraw the question then. I get enough unpalatable stuff rammed down my neck all day without having to hear what my friends say about me, behind my back, to my wife.’

‘Not yet, Bruce.’

‘Not yet what?’

‘I’m not yet your wife.’

‘I said wife?’

‘Your slip’s showing. The Freudian one.’

I reached over. She leaned back. I ran my hand up the back of her neck. She resisted. I forced her into a kiss until she broke away.

‘I won’t take that as a proposal. If it’s subliminal it doesn’t count,’ she said. ‘It’s still in the head.’

‘And you want it from the heart.’

‘I didn’t want it to sound too much like romantic trash.’

‘Leave that to me, I’m good at the pulp end of things.’

I got an inadvertent look.

‘What else has Bagado said to you?’

She shrugged and sipped her glass, which was empty.

‘You two’ve been going through my school report again.’

‘He doesn’t think you’re bad…’

‘I know, I know…he thinks I’m “morally weak”.’

‘He thinks your only guiding principle is your own fascination.’

I called Helen in with the Red Label. She dragged it in kicking and screaming. I poured a finger and brimmed it with water.

‘One thing you might want to remember is that if Bagado hadn’t come along, I wouldn’t be involved in any of this. I was doing fine until…’

‘He embroiled you in his crusade?’

‘Yes, I think that’s fair. He’s the one who involved me in bigger things. People killing and getting killed and sometimes for no other reason than a base human emotion like…jealousy.’

‘Jealousy?’ she said with mock outrage, not rising to the bait. ‘Jealousy’s a very strong emotion.’

‘Especially sexual jealousy…so I’ve heard.’

‘Maybe for men.’

‘No, no, women too. How’d you like it if I told you I’d been sleeping with somebody else, you pregnant and all.’

Her face stilled in an instant and she started in on me, eyes jutting.

‘See what I mean?’

She sat back, caught out.

‘You and I are different,’ she said.

‘No, we’re not.’

‘Our relationship is based on sex.’

‘Is it?’ I asked.

‘That’s how it started, remember the desert?’

‘The ground,’ I teased.

‘Piss off.’

‘There is more than just sex…isn’t there?’ I said, reaching for her hand.

‘Sometimes,’ she said, allowing me a fingernail. ‘And if you did sleep with someone else, whether I was pregnant or not, I’d…I’d…’

‘I believe you.’

‘How did we get on to people killing each other…?’

We laughed and I gulped some Johnnie Walker.

‘I don’t know,’ I said. ‘An example of my overfascination, how I get over…No, I know what I was going to say. Africa. What I’ve learned from Africa, from this work, is that I’m not indifferent any more. My life’s not set in aspic like it was in London. I don’t just work, play, sleep. I’m not protected from ugliness by my job. Reality isn’t TV. I see the limbless poverty at every traffic light, the fat people in bars eating money sandwiches which, as you’ve probably gathered, means I don’t totally and unequivocally love the place. It drives me crazy. I go mad when the Africans decide not to do things, when they tell you everything except the one thing you want to hear, when they disappear off to their village without a word, but then I’m charmed by their innocence, the way they join their lives to ours. That’s Africa for me – not a whole lot between those two mood swings – wild anger and happy delirium.’

‘Have I ever seen you on one of those deliriously happy days?’

‘You were asleep last night so you didn’t see it.’

She leaned over and kissed me and went for the watered-down whisky while she was at it. I pulled it away.

‘Just a smell,’ she pleaded.

‘Seven months to go,’ I said, and let her have a sip.

‘Longer than that. I don’t think babies like milk cut with Red Label.’

‘This one will,’ I said, slipping a hand up her top. She pulled away.

‘Don’t,’ she said, ‘we’re not finished yet.’

‘We must be after all that crap.’

‘Bagado,’ she said, flatly, ‘doesn’t think you’re much good at the work.’

‘Don’t let him speak at my funeral.’

‘He says you’re good at the business stuff – loading ships in the port, managing gangs and transport – but crime. Solving crime. Seeing what’s going on around you, making deductions, cracking problems…no.’

‘No?’ I said, lightly.

‘That’s what he says…and you know why?’

‘You’re going to tell me. I can feel it in my water.’

‘You get involved in events. You get carried away. No objectivity.’

‘Very interesting. Is that it now? Can we…?’

She came around my side of the table. I pushed my chair back and she sat astride me and put her arms around my neck and her lips up to mine.

‘That’s it,’ she said.

‘You know something,’ I said, pushing her top up over her head, finding no bra. ‘Talking about solving crimes. I solved one of Bagado’s yesterday. Five men dead in a ship’s hold. Suffocated, no sign of violence. How did they die? I came up with fresh timber. Then Bagado came within an inch of telling me he wouldn’t mind somebody taking Bondougou out of the game. What does that sound like to you?’

‘Role reversal,’ she said, and pressed my head down on to her breasts.

‘Thanks.’

‘Now shut up.’

I lifted her up on to the table and stripped her panties off. She tore at the front of my trousers. I sucked on her nipples until they were nut hard. She grabbed me and steered me into her and my knees gave at the feel of her soft, wet warmth. I drove into her lifting her off the table, my hands and arms full of her creamy back. She held my face to hers with the back of her hand round my head and rucked up my shirt.

‘Turn the lights off,’ she said. ‘I’m not entertaining the whole street.’

She wrapped her legs around me. I walked to the wall and lashed out at the lights. Half her face appeared in a corner of light from the street. Her head rose and fell against the wall. My trousers sank to the floor with the weight of keys and money and the jolt of each thrust.

‘Just don’t go indifferent on me,’ she said, and dug her heels into my buttocks, urging me on.