Читать книгу Childish Things - Robin Jenkins - Страница 13

5

Some weeks later, a few days before I was to fly off to San Diego, Susan Cramond telephoned.

‘I’m thinking of giving a little farewell dinner party for you, Gregor.’

‘That’s very kind of you, Susan.’

‘You don’t sound very enthusiastic’

Well, what did I have to enthuse about? I was an old man who needed to piss oftener than was convenient or seemly. I had had my innings and, though I had performed with some style, I hadn’t scored all that highly, except perhaps for my Military Medal. My wife had died recently and I was finding out every day how much I had depended on her. I was afraid that my going to California might turn out to be a mistake. I kept thinking that I should have gone to India, to an ashram, where I could have mourned with honourable resignation and found forgiveness.

It was myself I had to forgive.

‘Who would you like me to invite?’ asked Susan.

Ignoring Hector’s opprobrious visage, I would have liked to nominate Mrs Cardross, manageress of Colquhoun’s licensed grocer’s in the mam street. Why? Because she reminded me of Kate when Kate had been young: tall, fair-haired, blue-eyed, smiling, gracious. But of course it was out of the question even to mention her name.

‘I suppose the usual bunch of boring old buggers,’ said Susan. ‘You can’t have the Tullochs, though. They’re scored off the list. He is anyway, and she wouldn’t come without him, the silly cow. To tell you the truth, it’s really her I can’t stand, flashing that arse of hers in every man’s face.’

I was dismayed. Naively I had assumed that Millie’s incomparable posterior had been admired by me alone.

‘Why is Bill scored off your list, Susan?’ I asked.

‘Haven’t you heard? It’s the talk of the town. The big bull’s taken his pizzle to new pastures.’

‘What do you mean?’

‘He’s left Millie and got himself a new paramour. You must have seen her. She works in Colquhoun’s, in the main street, a shop you’re never out of. Fair-haired conceited bitch. She’s separated from her husband. Tulloch’s having to pay highly to get her to open her legs. She’s driving about in a new Volvo.’

I could hardly say it. ‘Do you mean Mrs Cardross?’

‘That’s the name. Mercenary whore.’

I could have wept. The tears would have been of self-pity and self-derision. I had been meekly content to touch Mrs Cardross’s soft hand when paying for my wine and receiving my change, while Tulloch the bull had been mounting her at will.

‘Does Millie know?’ I asked, feebly.

‘Of course Patient Grizelda knows. If you ask me, it’s the best thing that could have happened to her. She should have left him long ago. So they’re out. Your tearoom pals, I suppose. I hope Henry doesn’t shit himself as he did last time.’

‘You should insist, Susan, that we all bring our potties.’

She laughed. ‘Some of us can still make it to the lavatory. I’ve been wondering if you’d like me to invite your brother-in-law, Hector Liddell.’

‘If you did, Henry would be sure to shit himself. But why invite Hector?’

‘He was at the funeral. He looked very unhappy.’

‘He wouldn’t come.’

‘I suppose not. I felt sorry for him, that’s all. It won’t be the most thrilling of evenings, Gregor, but it’ll save you the trouble of going round and saying goodbye.’