Читать книгу Better With Age - Robin Porter - Страница 6
Оглавление“Aging seems to be the only available way to live a long life.”
—KITTY O’NEILL COLLINS
The Miracle of You
On a balmy spring evening, Agnes sat listening to the haunting sounds of bagpipes and watching the sun sink slowly over the lake, ribbons of orange and purple rippling on the water’s surface. Her family had hired the bagpipe player, donned in a traditional kilt, as a surprise addition to Agnes’s 90th birthday party—a nod to their Scottish heritage. When the music ended and the sky had faded to a soft pink glow, Agnes stood, leaning heavily on her cane, and gave each of her three children, seven grandchildren, and nine great grandchildren a hearty hug. She felt like the luckiest woman in the world.
“When people ask me how old I am, I tell them the truth—I’m 90 and proud of it!” declared Agnes with a wide grin. “I have no idea why people lie about their age. Every year on this earth is something to celebrate.”
Sobering a bit, she added, “Of course, life isn’t all sunshine and roses. Looking back, there was pain and sadness, and loneliness at times. I lost my husband too soon, and my brother died of a heart condition when he was just a young man. These days they probably would have been able to save him. We suffered through some hard times during the Depression, and lost dear friends and neighbors in the war. I suppose everyone experiences hardships, some more than others, but in the end, it’s the love and beauty I remember most.”
Agnes, who still feels a jolt of joy when the first spring flower peeks through the snow and the hummingbirds return to her feeder, believes the secret to lifelong happiness is the ability to appreciate the simple pleasures and be grateful. Using her fingers, which are bent with arthritis, she ticked off a few of the many things for which she is thankful, including sunsets, good books, summer tomatoes, chocolate, and a lovable mutt named Chaucer—and, of course, her large, adoring family.
As the evening wore on, one of Agnes’s great granddaughters who had recently graduated from college sat down beside her and asked for some counsel. Patting her knee fondly, Agnes replied, “Well, first be thankful for the opportunities you’ve been given. I always wished I had continued my education. Never stop learning and growing, and being interested in the world around you. Find someone special to love and cherish every moment together. And, don’t waste your time looking for miracles, because life is a miracle—live it accordingly.”
Agnes is right. The fact that you are alive today is nothing short of a miracle. Some scientists calculate the probability of your existence today at approximately one in 400 trillion. Taking it a step farther, doctor and author Ali Binazir performed a series of calculations that estimate your chances of being here at nearly zero. First he looked at the likelihood of your parents meeting and having a child, which are about one in 40 million. Next, he projected the odds of one particular egg being fertilized (out of an average of 100,000 for each woman) by one particular sperm (out of the nearly 12 trillion produced by each man during his lifetime), each genetically unique, at one in 400 quadrillion. But that’s only a small part of your personal story.
Consider the long chain of unlikely events that had to occur throughout the ages: You are a result of many generations of people who survived such challenges as war, famine, and disease and reproduced successfully. When you factor in your ancestry, Binazir contends that the odds of you existing (as you) is more like one in 102,685,000 (that’s 10 with 2,685,000 zeros after it!). But with a number that large, why quibble over a few zeros? Let’s just say that beating such staggering odds should give us pause to contemplate how lucky we are to be here. So, as Agnes wisely advised, we should live life accordingly.
An Appetite for Life
The choices we make throughout our lives have a profound effect on our health, happiness, and quality of life. When we’re young the choices seem limitless, spread out before us like an all-you-can-eat buffet. With great hunger, we make decisions regarding education, career, marriage, and family and often sample many different interests and ideas until we find those that satisfy us. However, as we age, there is often a tendency to feel that our options are limited. For instance, we might reach a certain age and think we’re “too old” to continue our education, switch careers, or pursue a dream; or perhaps we believe it’s “too late” to change our lifestyle or improve our health. Yet nothing could be farther from the truth.
Research shows that those who maintain their vitality well into their advanced years are those who continue to have an appetite for life. They understand that we are never too old to stop moving forward, making improvements, and living with purpose—and never too young to start! Getting older brings changes, but you can prepare for those changes and make the most of your senior years, no matter what phase of life you’re in. We can start by looking at how aging has changed, what it means to age well, and why it requires some planning.
Like Agnes, Nola (Hill) Ochs always loved learning and wanted to attend college, but young women were not encouraged to continue their education in her day. Instead, she got married, raised a family, and worked on the farm, but she never lost her yearning for knowledge. So, in 1972, at the age of 60, she started taking correspondence courses in hopes of obtaining her bachelor’s degree. Thirty-five years later, at the age of 95, Ochs graduated alongside her granddaughter, earning a general studies degree with an emphasis in history. In 2010, at the age of 98, she received her master’s degree. Of her accomplishment, she said simply, “It was something I wanted to do. It gave me a feeling of satisfaction.” After graduation, Ochs planned on applying for a job as a graduate teaching assistant.
Truth and Consequences
Aging is a natural and unavoidable part of life. We begin the process at birth and continue to age with each passing day. Thankfully, both the quantity and quality of those days are likely to be greater than ever before, as people are living longer and generally healthier lives. According to the U.S. Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC), the average life expectancy (from birth) for someone living in the United States is currently 78.7 years. If you reach the age of 65, you have a good chance of extending your life span to 83 years. Of course, these are only averages. Nowadays, we are seeing more and more people live well into their 90s and even celebrate a century or more of living. Indeed, though still a small percentage, centenarians are the fastest growing segment of the U.S. population.
Over the past century, life expectancy has increased by nearly 30 years. A man born in 1900 could expect to live, on average, to the age of 48, while a woman might reach 51. This seems young by today’s standards, but it’s a vast improvement over earlier civilizations, such as the Roman Empire, which had an approximate life expectancy of just 22 to 25 years old! Nowhere are the advantages of modern-day living more apparent than in our improved longevity.
The lives of our ancestors were shortened by a long list of factors, including poor hygiene, unclean water, inadequate nutrition, and lack of medical care, which often led to infectious diseases. In fact, infectious diseases such as influenza, pneumonia, tuberculosis, and gastrointestinal infections were the leading causes of death in 1900. Today, only two of those illnesses, influenza and pneumonia, even make the list of leading causes of death in the United States, tying for ninth place. Instead, chronic conditions such as heart disease, cancer, non-infectious respiratory problems (e.g., fibrosis), and stroke have taken the top spots. Thanks to improvements in public health, nutrition, and medicine, particularly antibiotics and vaccines, we have reduced childhood mortality rates and wiped out many of the maladies faced by earlier generations—and we continue to learn.
Consider, for example, that in the not-so-distant past, the medical community believed life-shortening ailments such as heart disease, hypertension, and strokes were unavoidable side effects of the aging process. We now know these problems are, to a large extent, preventable and, if they do occur, can often be treated successfully. As Agnes pointed out, her brother’s heart condition may not have been fatal if he had been born a few decades later. And, it’s not just longevity that has improved: Better education, enhanced nutrition, and advanced medical treatments are helping people age with fewer disabilities and chronic health issues overall. Modern medicine offers a long list of life-enhancing and life-extending procedures—from replacing worn-out knees and broken hips to implanting pacemakers and transplanting organs. All of which is good news.
The Vulnerable Years
Though longevity rates have improved dramatically during the twentieth century, American longevity has actually dropped since 1979, compared to some other nations, according to the National Academy of Sciences. On average, Australian, Japanese, Italian, and French men and women are outliving Americans by four to six years. Researchers also noted that Americans seem to be at their most vulnerable between the ages of 55 and 75. These are the years when the cumulative effects of poor eating habits, lack of exercise, and skipped health screenings take their toll, resulting in a large number of deaths due to heart disease, diabetes, lung disease, and cancer that has gone undetected. However, if Americans reach the age of 75 and beyond, they have a good chance of living well into their 90s and even 100s. The trend emphasizes the importance of healthy lifestyle choices at every life stage.
Greater longevity does, however, have some consequences. According to “The State of Aging and Health in America,” a 2013 special report from the CDC, the population of older Americans may be expanding faster than our healthcare system can handle. Approximately 80 million baby boomers—who began turning 65 in 2011 and can expect to live longer lives—are creating a massive shift in demographics. By 2030, it’s estimated that 1 in 5 Americans will be a senior citizen, nearly double the 12 percent we had in 2000.
Despite our medical advancements, the human body will still wear out over time. So, the longer you live, the more susceptible you become to disabilities and frailties, which necessitate more specialized and long-term care. At current growth rates, the demand for these services will outpace supply. There is already a shortage of physicians and nurses who specialize in elder care and the need continues to increase. The American Geriatric Society tells us there are currently only 7,500 geriatric specialists in the United States, and growth in this area of expertise is sluggish. Meanwhile, the need for geriatricians will expand to approximately 30,000 by 2030. It’s clear that, as a society, we will be challenged to find innovative ways to treat and support an aging population—and to pay for this care.
Financial resources play an important part in the longevity issue. Living longer after retirement means you need to stash away more savings, not only to maintain an acceptable standard of living, but to provide for additional care and services as you age. Unfortunately, reports indicate that baby boomers are not preparing for their retirement years as well as they should be. This lack of planning contradicts survey results in which those 65 and older rank “maintaining independence” as their top priority.
When Jeanne Louise Calment (1875–1997) celebrated her 110th birthday, she became the oldest known living human (as verified by modern documentation). But, it wasn’t her age that people found the most amazing; it was her upbeat attitude toward aging and life that captivated audiences around the world. Active and clear-minded, she quipped to the press, “I had to wait 110 years to become famous. I want to enjoy it as long as possible.” She went on to reach the amazing age of 122!
Still, when asked, most people say they would like to live a long life, with this caveat: as long as they can age well.
What Is Aging Well?
Vibrant centenarians such as Ms. Calment are certainly examples of aging well, which is sometimes referred to as “successful aging.” But, aging well can mean many things. What constitutes successful aging differs from one culture to another and even from individual to individual. In general, Americans define aging well as:
• Remaining independent for as long as possible.
• Being healthy and mobile enough to enjoy hobbies and time with family.
• Feeling useful, whether through continued work, volunteer activities, or family obligations.
• Having enough money to live comfortably after retirement.
However, as mentioned, there seems to be a wide gap between what people say is important and what actually happens. Simply put, most Americans are not planning effectively to achieve these goals. Consider the following:
• According to the National Bureau of Economic Research, only 40 percent of Americans have tried to figure out how much to save for retirement. Only 51 percent say they have a retirement account through an employer and only 28 percent had a separate retirement account.
• The majority of people say they want control over their health decisions, but only 25 to 30 percent of those surveyed have an advanced health directive or living will.
• Less than one-third of adults have discussed their end-of-life wishes with children or other family members.
• Though the key to preventing chronic illnesses such as heart disease is managing risk factors—high blood pressure, high cholesterol, and high blood glucose levels—many adults in the United States do not get regular health screenings, which can detect these problems at the earliest stages, allowing for lifestyle changes and/or proper treatment.
Considering that the resources and benefits available for seniors today may or may not be available in the future, this lack of planning becomes even more troubling.
A Change in Attitude
Perhaps one of the reasons we don’t do a good job of planning for our senior years is because growing old is something about which we don’t like to think, so we continually put it off. For instance, the majority of people surveyed by the American Association of Retired Persons (AARP) believed that an advanced health directive and durable power of attorney were only necessary for “very sick or very old people.”
“That’s a common misperception,” says Christopher J. Berry, Certified Elder Law Attorney. “In reality, these documents should be prepared while we are healthy and our decisions are not complicated by age, illness, medications, or end-of-life emotions. Making these plans provides peace of mind for yourself and your loved ones. In fact, medical powers of attorney and financial powers of attorney should be prepared when you turn 18 and are legally an adult. You never know when life will throw you a curve ball.”
Of course, as Berry points out, these documents are not just for older folks; accidents and unexpected health crises can happen at any age. We have all heard the heartbreaking stories of people who suddenly lose a loved one and find themselves trying to untangle a financial and legal mess. While most people understand that proper planning can prevent these problems, many still fail to make those plans.
Our reluctance may also have something to do with the youth-centered culture in which we live. Youth is celebrated, while growing old is often portrayed negatively, as something to be dreaded and avoided. Just look at the billions of dollars generated by the sale of antiaging products—from wrinkle creams and cosmetic surgery meant to maintain our youthful appearance, to vitamins and herbal remedies that promise to slow down or even reverse the aging process. In fact, the market for antiaging products and treatments is one of the fastest growing business segments in our nation.
The ancient Greek philosopher Epicurus thought that “old age was the pinnacle of life,” while recognizing that each stage in life has its own qualities and advantages, as well as disadvantages. Successful aging comes when we are able to make the most of both the virtues and the vices.
In many cultures, including those with a high concentration of centenarians, aging comes with a badge of honor. Seniors are respected for their wisdom and given a sense of purpose by being asked to help raise children and contribute to the family household. Indeed, one of the secrets of successful aging is adopting a positive attitude about growing old. As we plan for late life, we should not think of aging as something to fear and revile—an inevitable decline—but rather a time of new beginnings, as well as intellectual and spiritual growth. Our senior years can be a time of productivity and fulfillment—with a little preparation.
Never Too Late
Chronological age is just a number—not your identity. Look around and you’ll discover many inspiring examples of people pursuing dreams and achieving success late in life, refusing to be defined by their age. Some notable illustrations:
• At 77 years old, Senator John Glenn was the oldest person to board a U.S. space shuttle. When asked if he thought he was too old for the mission, he responded, “Too many people, when they get old, think that they have to live by the calendar.”
• Anna Mary Robertson Moses, better known as Grandma Moses, didn’t pick up a paintbrush until she was in her 70s, after arthritis forced her to give up a career in embroidery. By the time she died in 1961 at the age of 101, she had become one of America’s most beloved artists, her paintings adorning the walls of museums around the world. Grandma Moses had no formal art training, but she painted every day, completing more than a thousand works of art in 25 years. As Moses said (and demonstrated), “One is never too old to succeed in life.”
• The best-selling author Laura Ingalls Wilder didn’t publish her first book until she was 64. She spent most of her life as a teacher and a farmer’s wife, occasionally writing articles on farming and rural life in the early 1900s. With her daughter’s encouragement, she started writing about her pioneering childhood and published Little House in the Big Woods in 1932 (which later inspired the popular television series Little House on the Prairie).
• Despite health issues, including diabetes and arthritis, Ray Kroc set out to make McDonald’s a household name at the age of 52. But first he spent 17 years as a paper cup salesman and another 17 years selling a machine called the Multimixer, which could whip up five milkshakes at once. Though the invention was designed for drug stores with soda fountains, Kroc had more success selling the device to hamburger joints and drive-ins, which is how he met Maurice and Richard McDonald. The McDonald brothers owned a few restaurants in California and Arizona, but Kroc suggested they franchise their operation on a national scale and volunteered to take on the task. Seven years later, he became the owner of a franchise that would sell more than a billion hamburgers by 1963. Today, McDonald’s is the most successful fast food operation in the world.
• As a young housewife, Julia Child was not a particularly good cook—she noted that she didn’t even know what a shallot was. When she moved to France with her husband, she began looking for something to occupy herself and decided to learn how to make French cuisine. She studied at the Cordon Bleu cooking school and fell in love. She once wrote, “To think it has taken me 40 years to find my true passion.” It took another decade and numerous rejections before she published her famous book Mastering the Art of French Cooking and began her long-running PBS program The French Chef at the age of 51.
• In 1994, when he was nearly 76, Nelson Mandela was elected president of South Africa in the first election open to all races in that country’s history. After a life-long struggle against racial segregation and nearly 27 years in prison, Mandela became instrumental in abolishing apartheid in his homeland. He was an activist, politician, lawyer, and philanthropist who received the Nobel Peace Prize in 1993 and worked to end poverty through the Nelson Mandela Foundation until his death at the age of 95.
• After teaching at St. Mary’s School for Girls in India for 17 years, Mother Teresa experienced what she referred to as “the call within the call” to work with the poor in the streets of Calcutta. At age 38, she left the Sisters of Loretto to move into the slums, where she started a school and tended to the sick and dying. At the age of 40, she established the Missionaries of Charity, which eventually became a worldwide organization consisting of more than 4,500 sisters running hospices, homes for the sick, soup kitchens, orphanages, and schools. Mother Teresa received the Nobel Peace Prize at the age of 69 and worked tirelessly until her death at age 87.
• Popular actor, film director, and producer Clint Eastwood is still working hard at the age of 83. He began his career in 1959, but didn’t receive an Academy Award until he was 62 years old. At 73, he launched his critically acclaimed directing career, which earned him another Oscar. Eastwood sums up his philosophy about aging in this quote: “As we grow older, we must discipline ourselves to continue expanding, broadening, learning, keeping our minds active and open.”
Benjamin Franklin helped draft the Declaration of Independence and signed it at the age of 70, which incidentally was the same age as Ronald Reagan when he was sworn in as the 40th president of the United States—just two more examples of late-in-life achievements. But you don’t have to be famous to be successful; every day, ordinary folks are finding passion and purpose in the second half of their lives and redefining what it means to age well.
The Importance of Planning
Like most things in life, aging well does not happen by accident—it requires some planning. The following chapters cover key aspects of preparing for each decade of your senior years, including money matters, legal issues, health factors, and tips for staying vibrant. We cannot control every element of the aging process, but we can positively influence many facets. By avoiding unhealthy habits and taking better care of ourselves, we can stave off many ailments that lead to disabilities, reduce the quality of our senior years, and shorten lives. By saving for retirement, we can make our senior years more fulfilling and enjoyable. And, by putting our affairs in order, we can reduce some of the stress associated with growing older, make more informed decisions, and ensure that our wishes are carried out. In other words, we can choose to age well.
Poet Maya Angelou wrote, “Living life is like constructing a building: if you start wrong, you’ll end wrong.” As we embark on our senior years, it’s a good idea to start with a plan or blueprint of sorts. Along the way we’re sure to make alterations, add details here and there, and perhaps undertake some major renovations—all the while steadily building the second half of our lives. We don’t know what the finished project will look like, but let’s begin by laying a strong foundation.
Words of Wisdom . . .
‘For three generations, Lydia’s family has lived in the same community, and with nearly a century of life behind her, Lydia has seen some tremendous transformations.
“I was recently asked to speak about life here in the 1920s at the library, and I’ve also participated in discussion panels at the university,” said Lydia proudly. “I guess when you’re as old as I am you become a walking history book! This used to be a small town, where you knew all the shopkeepers by name and all the kids went to the same school. Times have certainly changed, but I’m just so grateful to have lived to see so many truly amazing things in the world.”
As schoolchildren, Lydia and her classmates were invited to help fill up seats at the new university stadium and cheer on the football team—a venue that now routinely holds well over 100,000 fans. She also recalled graduating during the Great Depression, when the school had no money for caps and gowns, and learning the importance of service from her parents who were both active in the community; her father organized the first African-American Boy Scouts troop in town and her mother worked with young girls at the local community center. Lydia married when she was 19 and had four children—she also became a member of the “sandwich generation” long before that term was coined.
“I had taken a course in home nursing, so when my mother had a stroke, and then my father became ill, I took charge of their care,” she recounted. “My children were young at the time, so for many years, my only activities were taking care of family, which is really the most important thing in life.”
After Lydia’s parents passed away, she took a job planning and preparing meals for a local doctor and his family, and eventually worked in his office, as well. Her favorite job, however, was managing the dining room of a well-known social club, where she worked for 20 years. But retirement didn’t slow Lydia down.
In addition to panel discussions, she is on the church committee to plan monthly senior activities, and she participates in all the trips and events. “I’ve always been active,” Lydia said. “As a girl, I was on the track team, and played baseball and field hockey. We had no cars, so we walked everywhere. Now, I use a walker and don’t get around as well as I used to, but I don’t let that get me down. Even if you’re slow, it doesn’t mean you should stop moving!”
When it comes to her longevity, Lydia is a firm believer in eating well and staying active. As for her remarkable vibrancy at 97, she offers this advice, “Have a positive attitude, and surround yourself with good friends and family. Don’t lose interest in things or close yourself off. I like to stay current on social issues and politics. I like to read, and I’m still a big football fan!”’
