Читать книгу The Charisma Code - Robin Sol Lieberman - Страница 11

INTRODUCTION

At sixteen I left my American homeland for the continent of Africa. There I encountered the Kenyan culture, a culture completely alien from my Western upbringing. The food, dwellings, customs, and daily routines were all new. I didn’t even speak the language, and yet, a magical thing happened: Instead of my feeling confused and alone, my interactions with the Kenyan people felt incredibly meaningful. Much more so than what I was accustomed to in my own country. I asked myself, “How is this possible? I can’t even talk to them.”

This question led me on a global adventure to discover what makes people feel connected to one another. I have lived in the most remote regions of Nepal, Sumatra, Sulawesi, Bali, Costa Rica, Guatemala, Spain, Thailand, Brazil, Mexico, and Nicaragua. Although traveling as an anthropologist, I was not trying to organize some grand display of human taxonomy. Instead, my travels have had one essential goal: to develop meaningful relationships without knowing the local languages. I wanted to understand a language beyond words.

So much communication flows from our bodies, betrays our upbringing, and advertises our personalities. I mimicked the ways different cultures swung their hips and kissed. I paid extra attention to how my body felt when passing individuals on the street. I sang with holy men and danced the local dances. I relied on a few staple sentences: “Hi,” “Where’s the bathroom?” and “Thank you.”

With time, it occurred to me that there is already a word for what I was encountering: “charisma.” Charisma is a universal language beyond words. It adds meaning to our words and our walk with gestures, vocal tone, and energy, delivering otherwise unarticulated information around our passion, our purpose, and how we value ourselves and the world. Charisma “speaks” to connect. Otherwise, why have it? What other purpose could charisma possibly serve than to establish connection?

During my travels, I wanted to open literal doors, step into foreign homes, and participate in local lifestyles, rituals, and the universalities of the human heart. And I did. Though I didn’t know it at the time, I was using charisma to get in, and I learned a lot about culture.

Culture and charisma are closely linked: The people who are the best connectors are often the biggest influencers, and those who influence culture, change the world. Like charisma, culture speaks a language beyond words too. Culture invisibly transmits beliefs into your mind, like Wi-Fi talking to your smartphone. Culture is everything. It dictates whether we shoot the Big Bad Wolf in the woods or fall on our knees to praise his wildness. Culture tells you what to believe about yourself, informs the youth how to treat their elders, and governs how employees work together.

Culture is a democracy. We vote with our behavior, and cultures change quickly when one person communicates a behavior others deem valuable enough to want to copy. When you have charisma, others are likely to copy you. Charisma is both a personal and a cultural power.

On November 3, 2012 I went on all of my social media sites and posted the following picture of Bill Clinton, California Congressman Alan Lowenthal, and my mother.

In the caption I wrote:

So my mom was telling me that being next to Clinton was like being plugged into an electrical socket. Where does that kind of charisma come from? What are his practices? . . . the practices of the Stars . . .

From that point forward I became a charisma detective on a quest for said “electrical socket.” I wanted to find out where I—and anyone else willing and able to handle the current—could plug in, but try as I might, I could find no guide to cultivating this electromagnetic human charge. Did one exist?

In his article “Charm School,” Mark Oppenheimer writes, “What’s most striking about charisma studies is how few there are . . . . It’s just seen as too elusive to waste one’s time on.”¹

Waste one’s time on?

For over two years I kept the company of my solitude, committed to making a shareable tool out of my rare life. I often writhed like a serpent in sand, searching for words and images that would hold relevance for you, my reader.

The result: this book.

In the final weeks of writing The Charisma Code, I was recruited to be president of a startup company called FreeCharging. Although I eventually declined the position, I learned quite a bit about alternative energy: by making electric-vehicle charging stations readily available, FreeCharging hopes to enable global sustainable transportation. By making charismatic principles readily available, The Charisma Code enables global transformation. Like electric vehicles, a charismatic person must plug in.

Question is: Plug into what?

People often associate charisma with a learned set of extroverted behaviors they must “put on” to be wanted. Nope. That is not how it works. The way you shake people’s hands at a job interview will undoubtedly change after reading this material, but not because I told you how long you should hold their hand or what pressure to use.

True charisma comes from knowing you are safe, knowing you have something great to give, and knowing you can connect with anyone. The job of this book is to help your sinews realize this truth. When they do, your walk will change, your handshake will change, your emails will change, your life will change. You will stop hiding and start giving.

The first time I sent a book proposal for The Charisma Code to a traditional publishing house, the president sent me the following commentary—along with his rejection: “The author really thinks she’s found the code for anyone to learn charisma? Tell her to go to Hawaii, Sedona, or Alaska and do a rewrite. She needs to tone it down a bit.”

TONE IT DOWN? I don’t think so, Mr. Publisher Man.

True charisma is gold, whether you are a business leader or an aspiring business leader; a safari guide or an aspiring safari guide; a playgirl or an aspiring playboy; an immigrant or a refugee; a prisoner or ex-offender. Charisma is gold for just about anyone or anything whose existence relies on connection. Charisma inspires engagement. It gets leads, motivates teams, and elicits commitment. It keeps the listener on the phone and eyes glued to what’s next. It creates loyalty and rallies resolve. It opens doors, dissolves borders and makes any culture feel like home.

There is nothing “toned down” about my request. I am asking you, the reader, to plug in, charge up, and give your all! I am asking you to risk making your best life.

Welcome to The Charisma Code.