Читать книгу Tempted By The Brooding Surgeon: Tempted by the Brooding Surgeon / From Fling to Wedding Ring - Robin Gianna, Karin Baine - Страница 13

CHAPTER FOUR

“THE CLINIC IS right around this next curve,” Daniel said, turning to Annabelle with a slightly tired smile. “I think we made good time.”

“Probably because you drove like a maniac. It’s a wonder I didn’t have a heart attack and need a cardiologist. Good thing there was one close by.”

A soft laugh left his lips, his eyes gleaming at her through the dark interior of the car, and she found herself staring at how much younger and more handsome he looked when he was relaxed and away from the OR. At least for the moment.

“I’d have let you drive except for that whole controlling streak of mine you’ve already noted.”

“And I’d have declined anyway, since I’m sure you’re the worst backseat driver in the whole world.”

Again, he laughed, and she had to quickly turn away from the unexpected charm of his smile. The same way she had the past three hours of semi-torture, sitting way too closely to the man who utterly confused her. One minute he was being a total jerk toward her, then the next he was sitting snugged up next to her against that tree and holding her hand in his large grasp. Sending a smile her way that was so sexy and attractive she’d nearly forgotten how much she disliked him.

All through the drive it had been a huge effort to not frequently glance over at his handsome profile. At his firm jaw and nicely shaped mouth. To not think far too much about how large and masculine he was. To not make too big a deal out of the seemingly sincere admiration in his warm, dark eyes as he’d looked at her beneath that tree and told her she was doing a good job and that he respected her.

Because, yeah, he’d then quickly followed that praise with a statement about needing the best anesthesiologist for difficult heart surgeries, and he clearly still didn’t believe she was that person.

The friendly banter on this car ride, completely different from the friction in all their exchanges before this, had thrown her off guard, making her see him in a way she didn’t want to. Her completely unexpected and unwelcome feelings of attraction to the man were a whole lot of stupid for a whole lot of reasons, and she wouldn’t let herself think about his sex appeal for one more second.

The car growled to a stop, and she was more than glad to have something else to focus on in the darkness of the night, when his shadowed shape next to her had been the only thing she’d been able to see and think about, the scent of him filling her nose the way it had earlier that evening.

She peered at the building in front of them, very similar to the one in Ayllu that she’d always worked in on her trips to Peru. The one she’d never dreamed Daniel Ferrera would end up working in, too. This one, though, looked a little more worn and neglected. Faded green paint peeled from the cement walls, exposed by a single, dangling bulb of light above the front step. Scrubby plants and weeds grew all around its perimeter, and the door was slightly off-kilter on its hinges.

“Looks like the front door doesn’t really close,” she said. “Not a good thing when it comes to keeping the space as sterile as possible.”

“Not a good thing for keeping creatures out either.” Another one of those smiles that made her ridiculous heart inexplicably flutter.

“Very true.” She reached for her seat belt, more than happy to get out of the car and away from the close proximity to Daniel. “I’d been congratulating your home country at the miles and miles of completely paved roads we drove on to get to Huancayo. Then we hit that last however many miles of dirt and rocks outside the city to get up here, and I’m pretty sure it might have jarred one of my teeth loose.”

“Don’t worry. I could probably perform emergency oral surgery if I absolutely had to.”

That startled a laugh out of her. “Thanks, but, no, thanks. I’d eat through a straw for the rest of my life before I’d submit to something so terrifying.”

“Smart woman.” Daniel sent her another quick grin before he pulled the monitor and oxygen tank from the back of the car, and it struck her that the past hours had been the first time she’d seen a smile on his face quite like that. Laid-back and friendly and genuinely amused. “Not to mention that we have a different kind of surgery to get to ASAP. Luciana said the child is inside, prepped and ready to go, so let’s get to it.”

Grabbing the rest of the items they’d brought for the surgery, including the cooler of blood bags, Annabelle followed him. She was determined to keep the conversation either light, like the tooth comment, professional, talking about how they would approach diagnosing the child’s problem to ensure they got it right, or nonexistent. Keeping somewhat of a distance between them and forgetting all about her sudden, peculiar attraction to the man.

His good looks couldn’t erase their former animosity, and certainly didn’t replace his ongoing doubts about her skills. Sure, he’d said he was finally coming to respect her more, but it had been too little too late, as far as she was concerned.

No, she’d shake off whatever it was that was making her feel so weird and just be glad they were forming a better working relationship. Because taking the best care of patients they possibly could was their whole purpose for being here.

Once inside the door, Annabelle tried to adjust her eyes to the space, lit just slightly by a small table lamp. Obviously, it was a small entryway that probably served as the greeting room for patients and families, the way the bigger space at the other clinic did. A wooden desk sat in front of a row of folding chairs, and the room had an antiseptic soap smell to it.

“Luciana’s obviously been at work cleaning this place up, probably with the help of locals. Last time I came, I was with the first crew to arrive and it was quite a battle to sweep out all the cobwebs and dust, along with a nest of baby opossums and their mother, who was not happy to have her family disturbed.”

“Is that what you meant by creatures coming in? Good heavens. Where were they?” That the man had actually helped clean this place and chase out marsupials was a surprise. She’d always viewed him as a guy who thought of himself as the holier-than-thou king of the OR, and not someone who would pitch in with that kind of grunt work.

“In a mostly empty supply box in the back. Got to admit, the tiny ones were cute, though the mother looked like a huge gray rat, with some seriously sharp-looking teeth.”

Annabelle couldn’t help an involuntary shudder. She’d never seen an opossum in real life, but she’d seen more rats than she cared to remember. Lying awake at night, wondering if one would jump onto her bed and run across her, was one of her least favorite childhood memories.

“Um, not to be a wimp, but I don’t think I’d be good at rounding up wildlife. I’d prefer scrubbing the floors on my hands and knees any day.”

“Doesn’t look like either one of us will have to work on our hands and knees tonight, which is a very good thing.”

She saw his gaze slide down her body and stop at her derriere, and his expression had a teasing quality to it, a little glint even, that took her by surprise and inexplicably made her heart start beating a little faster.

Stupid heart.

“Dr. Ferrera?” A small, dark-haired woman appeared in the doorway from the back room, and Daniel stepped toward her.

“Hi, Luciana. Nice to see you—it’s been a long time. Thanks for seeing the child and getting this place ready. Is our patient in the back?”

“Yes, and his parents, too. How about you speak with them, then I’ll send them home during the surgery?”

“Do they live close?”

“In town, so not too far. Since the surgery will take many hours, I told them they’d be more comfortable there. They didn’t want to agree at first, which I understand. Perhaps you can reassure them that it’s better if they go home and get some rest? That we’ll contact them when it’s over?”

He nodded before turning to Annabelle to introduce the two of them. From that moment on he was all business, moving into the back room to talk with the parents, who looked like they couldn’t be older than twenty or so. Clearly worried, they also looked intimidated, standing to talk to Daniel when he approached them. Annabelle couldn’t understand very much of what he said to them, but whatever it was had their faces relaxing slightly, their unsure expressions turning to gratitude as they both shook his hand.

Annabelle worked to get the equipment out and set up while Daniel looked at the EKG that Luciana had done, then examined the fussy baby. For long minutes he carefully listened to the child’s heart and lungs with his stethoscope, his brows lowered in deep concentration.

“Definitely heart failure,” he said, his gaze meeting hers. “Good thing we came. Thanks for being willing.”

“No thanks necessary. You know that.”

But it warmed her heart a little to be thanked anyway, silly as that was. Didn’t people thank one another all the time, barely noticing it? Lord, had the man made her become all needy for a little praise? Surely she wasn’t that pathetic.

Daniel listened to the infant’s chest again, and even from several feet away she could hear the wheeze as he cried. Maybe the baby would have lived quite a while with congestive heart failure, but it was more likely that he wouldn’t have. And that’s why they did these missions, wasn’t it? To save lives.

Finally, Daniel pulled his stethoscope from his ears and raised his head to look at Annabelle again. “I don’t think there’s any doubt it’s anomalous left coronary artery from the pulmonary artery. Good call, Luciana. In an ideal world we’d do more testing, but we have no choice but to open him up and see what we find, then get it fixed.”

“Ready with the gases and IVs, Doctor,” Annabelle said.

He gave her a nod then shocked her with another knee-weakening smile—had he ever smiled even once in the OR at the other clinic at any of the team? She was pretty sure she would have remembered if he had. Then again, for some reason his lips and jawline and those warm brown eyes were attracting her attention in a whole new way. Something she absolutely had to squelch.

Annabelle sucked in a meditative breath as he turned away to speak to the parents again, his voice a calming rumble. More hand shaking, then the couple were gone, leaving the three of them to scrub, gown and finish prepping the space.

“Do you know this family, Luciana?”

“I didn’t know them, but I do know the baby’s grandmother. She goes to my church, and I’d posted there about the clinic opening in a few days, which is why they came up.”

“Sounds like it was all meant to be that we’re here doing this tonight. You two ready?”

Luciana nodded, and Annabelle placed the mask over the baby’s nose and mouth. Once he was asleep, she put the IV lines into his tiny arms and legs, and the central line into his neck. After carefully checking his vitals, she nodded at Daniel. “All set.”

Together, they all did their jobs meticulously, with Daniel exposing the baby’s small heart and beginning the intricate surgery with steady hands, Luciana assisting. “Looks like he already has some tissue death from lack of oxygen, poor little guy. But we’ll get him fixed up, as close to perfect as we possibly can.”

* * *

Long past midnight and hours into the surgery, Annabelle quelled a big yawn, wishing she had a giant cup of coffee. She blinked hard, briefly moving her attention from the baby’s vital signs to look at Daniel’s intense eyes above his surgical mask. No sign of fatigue there, just an impressive, unwavering focus.

She’d participated in many delicate and skilled surgeries, though most had been more like what they’d been doing in Ayllu, and not quite as complicated as this. And every single time she felt awed by the steady hands, the years of training it took to perform such detailed work.

She loved her job but honestly couldn’t imagine doing what the cardiac surgeons did day in and day out. A special breed of doctor, for sure.

He literally held this baby’s life in his hands. She did too, but it was different. Administering then carefully monitoring the anesthesia throughout surgery kept the child safe and made the procedure possible. But to be able to restructure a tiny heart so it could function normally?

Truly amazing.

He’d talked about a surgical team needing to respect one another and the admiration she felt for him at that moment welled up in her chest as she watched him work. As it did, a revelation struck her right between the eyes.

For the first time she fully understood Daniel’s perspective from five years ago.

She’d made a huge mistake, there was no doubt about that. And if he, or any other surgeon, didn’t feel confident that someone on their team was capable enough, the life they were responsible for could be lost. What had happened back then might have technically been partly her resident’s fault, as well as her own. But when it came right down to it, the buck had stopped with her, the same way it did for a talented surgeon like Daniel.

He’d said that sometimes patients didn’t get second chances. That horrible day, theirs nearly hadn’t. And maybe that really did mean he’d been right. That she hadn’t deserved a second chance either.

Still absorbing all that and letting it sink into her brain, she pulled her attention from the fierce focus on his face. When she looked at the baby’s vital signs again, she sat straighter and stared.

“Doctor, your blood loss is ahead of where it needs to be.”

“Okay. Working on it.” He nodded, keeping his intent attention on his work.

Her throat tightened as she glanced at the blood-pressure monitor again, not liking one bit the continued drop in pressure. Not only did they clearly need more blood to compensate, they might need even more than she’d originally thought. Thank God she’d brought a good supply.

She hurried to retrieve a bag from the blood box, along with a second bag so it would be ready to hang if the first one didn’t do the trick. Trying to work as fast as possible without making a hasty mistake, she got the first bag attached and released more blood and medicine into the child’s IV lines.

“I’m having some trouble controlling the bleeding,” Daniel said. “Hang another five hundred cc of blood.”

“Just did. I have another one here ready to go. I’m pushing some meds to help.”

For a split second his brown gaze lifted to hers, before he gave her a short, nodding salute.

“I’m going to need it. Wait just a couple minutes then go ahead and hang the second bag.”

“Will do.”

Relieved that the baby’s blood pressure had normalized but still keeping a careful watch, the surgery took one hundred percent of Annabelle’s focus. Two more hours passed until finally Daniel had the wound closed and secured, with Luciana helping to finish the bandaging. When they were ready, Annabelle removed the IV lines and slowly awakened the infant.

Daniel snapped off his gloves and pulled down his mask. The slow, deliberate way he lifted off his scrub cap showed he felt as dead tired as Annabelle did, which was hardly a surprise since it was almost 4:00 a.m. Despite the lines and shadows etched around his eyes, their brown depths looked elated as his gaze met hers for a long moment before turning to the nurse. “We did it, ladies. Luciana, great job assisting. Where have you worked?”

“I’ve been a surgical assistant at two different hospitals in Lima for a long time. But Huancayo is my hometown, so I was happy to come here to help get the clinic open again.”

“Is there another nurse who can come here tomorrow to help care for him post-op?”

“I don’t know. I’ll see if I can find someone, but I’ll take care of him if I can’t.”

“I’ll also talk to Eduardo to see if he has anybody. There’s no way you can take care of this little guy and deal with more patients all by yourself once the clinic is open. Not to mention you’re going to need some sleep.”

“All of us do,” Luciana said with a tired grin. “But for tonight I’ll stay here with him.”

“No, we’ll stay. Or I will, at least,” Daniel said. “Do you have a place close by you can sleep?”

“I have relatives here, and have been staying with my mama since I arrived. I want to thank you both again for coming so fast. For being here at all. The little one might not have lived long if you hadn’t decided to open the clinic. It’s been closed for such a long time. I can tell you the people here appreciate it more than you can imagine.”

Daniel’s eyes met Annabelle’s for a long moment, and she saw they were lit with emotions. Satisfaction. Appreciation. And a slight smugness that told her that he was remembering what he’d said to her when she’d been so angry about being sent off to this place to work. That when her time here was finished, she’d be glad to have taken care of the patients in need, and whether she did it at the other clinic or here didn’t matter.

And, yeah, she couldn’t deny she was glad.

“I need to call the parents. Do you have their number?”

Luciana recited it, and Daniel went into the other room to speak to them. Annabelle could hear his low, lilting Spanish and let herself enjoy the cadence of it, the warmth she hadn’t noticed enough before.

She and Luciana again checked the baby’s IV lines, oxygen, breathing and other vital signs, before finally stepping back and smiling at one another.

“Not out of the woods yet, but he seems to be doing really well,” Annabelle said. “He’ll have to be carefully monitored, of course, and I feel like we should stay part of the day tomorrow to help you.”

“I know you have surgeries scheduled at the other clinic, but a little time here would be good. But didn’t Dr. Ferrera say you were going to be here to work with Dr. Diaz at some point anyway?”

“I assume that’s still the plan, but we’ll see.” Maybe a certain arrogant and extremely talented surgeon was finally ready to acknowledge that she knew what she was doing, even during the most intricate surgeries.

On the other hand, maybe she should ask to come here after all. The peculiar feelings rolling around in her tummy whenever she looked at Daniel might mean working with Dr. Diaz would be a good idea.

“I told the parents there was no need for them to come back right now, that sometime in the morning would be fine as he’ll be sedated for quite a while,” Daniel said as he came back into the room. It seemed he was talking to both of them, but his eyes were on Annabelle.

“Isn’t it already morning?” Annabelle joked, trying to cover up the way her heart pitter-pattered at the way he was looking at her. Or how she imagined he might be looking at her. In a way she shouldn’t want him to be looking at her.

Or maybe she could, but for very good reasons she absolutely wasn’t going to go there if he was.

One side of Daniel’s mouth tipped up as he glanced at his watch. “Definitely morning. Just a couple of hours earlier than your usual wake-up time, Dr. Richards. Maybe not too early for some yoga to get you mentally centered for the day?”

“Only if you join me. I’ll teach you some moves that’ll help you with that grouchy controlling streak of yours.”

“Moves?”

“Yoga moves,” she hastily supplied, her face heating at the way the other side of his lips curved at the same time one eyebrow rose. Who would ever have thought the grim and ultraserious Dr Ferrara would make a quip like that? “A few of my favorite asana poses, then we’ll end with the corpse pose to relax you.”

“Corpse pose? What doctor dealing with life and death would want to do that?” He stepped closer. “Isn’t there any yoga that would energize me? Because that’s what I need right now.”

Annabelle’s stomach quivered at the teasing glint in his eyes. What in the world was happening here? Had she fallen into some alternate universe where Daniel was like a normal man and not the intense perfectionist who was always so serious?

Luciana looked from one of them to the other, obvious confusion on her face. “You wish to do yoga? I have some extra blankets in the back if you want to put them on the floor.”

“No, no, Dr. Ferrera and I are just kidding. Probably. We’re both half-delirious from lack of sleep.”

“Yes, we all need a little sleep,” Luciana said, smiling again. “There is just the one bed here, with clean sheets I put on today. Dr. Richards, you are welcome to come home with me. My mother’s house is small, but we will be honored to have you take the bedroom.”

Thinking about the last few minutes of strangeness, Annabelle had barely listened to what Luciana had said. Until the words one bed finally seeped into her brain, making it stumble in panic. No way was she sleeping in a bed with Daniel!

But she wasn’t going to take Luciana’s only bedroom either, and trying to get checked into a hotel room in Huancayo at 4:00 a.m. didn’t seem too appealing or practical as a third option.

“Thank you so much for the kind offer but Dr. Ferrera and I will figure out the sleeping arrangement here. Don’t worry about us.” Though suddenly she was worrying plenty. “I guess we’ll see you sometime tomorrow?”

“I just need a few hours’ sleep to feel alert enough to care for the bambino. When did you say Dr. Diaz is coming here?”

“I need to double-check to see how long he thinks the travel will take,” Daniel said, his expression now impassive. “I’ll let you know tomorrow.”

“Adios, then. See you about nine o’clock.”

“Give yourself until ten. Still not enough sleep, but we have a pretty big patient load back at Ayllu, and we’re already behind so we’ll all have to work a little tired.”

“Of course. Thank you again. Buenas noches.”

With Luciana gone, the room seemed to shrink to the size of a broom closet, the sound of the baby’s oxygen machine loud and rhythmic. Daniel’s eyes met hers with a magnetic pull so intense she nearly swayed forward.

“We need to get a little sleep while the baby’s sedated,” he said, stuffing his hands in his scrubs pockets. “The monitor will wake us up if something changes in his vital signs.”

“The monitor you yelled at me about.” She wanted to get back to their usual status quo. Sparks flying from arguing instead of sparks caused by something else entirely.

“I never yell. I simply pointed out that we’ve done more surgeries than I can count without one here.” His lips curved in a slow smile that was so not status quo. Darn it. “But since you refuse to let the subject drop, I’ll admit it. I’m glad we have it here, and it’s been useful at the other clinic, too. You were smart to bring it.”

She dramatically slapped her hand to her forehead, partly to hide the surprised little glow his words put in her chest. “I feel a little faint. Did you say I did something right, and that you were wrong?”

“Saying it’s good we have it doesn’t mean I was wrong.”

“Of course not. Because you’re never wrong.”

His smile widened at the sound of disgust that came from her lips with her retort. “Rarely wrong. But there is one thing I was wrong about. You are an excellent anesthesiologist, and more than capable of taking care of the sickest patients during the longest surgeries. I’m impressed you caught the blood loss problem tonight, and instantly took care of it before I had to say something. So I apologize that I told you that I didn’t believe you were competent enough to be a heart surgeon’s anesthesiologist.”

All humor and discomfort and the sarcasm she’d been giving him disappeared. Her mouth dropped open slightly and she held up her hand, catching her breath before she could finally speak. “Wait a minute. So you’re saying that if you had it to do over again, you wouldn’t have kept me from getting the position I wanted in Philadelphia?”

“I did what I thought was right with the information I had at the time, which was that you’d made a critical error in the middle of a serious surgery. Something you can’t deny. So how did that happen?”

She looked down, not wanting to remember. Not wanting him to know any more of the details than he already did. After a long moment she forced herself to look into his eyes, steeling herself for what she’d see there. “You know it was my first month as an attending physician, wanting more than anything to get a permanent position at such an amazing hospital. It does so much good for every class of people, rich or poor, you know? It was my dream to work there. I...I wanted so much to prove myself. To impress everyone.”

She paused, swallowing down the pain of that terrible day. The deep disappointment in herself that she still felt all this time later. The horrifying proof that all the people who’d told her she’d never be good enough to become a doctor had been right.

He must have seen something of what she was feeling as he reached out to soothingly rub one hand up and down her arm as he spoke quietly. “Go on.”

“You might remember that they’d placed an anesthesia resident with me that day, and I felt I needed to give him an opportunity to actually make decisions instead of just watch or follow directions, the same way one or two attendings had done for me.”

“I barely remember the resident. Probably because I was concentrating on the surgery. But it’s also possible that I’d only noticed the beautiful new anesthesiologist who I knew had silky blond hair tucked under her cap, captivating blue eyes, and a body any man could easily get sidetracked by.”

“You noticed me?” she whispered, finding that incomprehensible. The thought made her heart beat hard in her chest. The anger she’d carried at him for all these years had pushed down the attraction she’d felt, too. Had tried to make her forget how often she’d caught herself staring at the tall, dark, cardiac surgeon with the muscular build tugging at his scrubs. Intrigued by the contrast between the all-business and often sharp man performing such detailed surgeries and the gentle doctor who’d appeared before and after when he’d spoken to his small patients and their families.

“Noticed you. Was attracted to you. Wanted to know more about you.” He closed the gap between them and took both her shoulders in his hands. “So you wanted to give the resident a chance to make some decisions. But I know it was you who administered the epinephrine.”

Briefly, she closed her eyes, hating to remember the biggest mistake of her career. A mistake that had nearly resulted in their patient dying. “Yes, it was me. I administered it. The resident gave me the wrong information and drew the wrong dose before handing it to me. I should have been paying closer attention, but stupidly I didn’t double-check. Didn’t see that he had it wrong. Until the child went into cardiac arrest, and through the flurry and panic you saved his life.” Her voice dropped to a whisper. “And in my anger toward myself, which I later projected toward you, I’ve never given you credit for that. So thank you for saving him. I can’t even imagine how it would have felt if you hadn’t.”

“Annabelle.” He squeezed her shoulders. “It was thanks to the whole team that we brought him back.”

Here he was, giving everyone credit when she’d been standing right there to see it had been his command of the situation that had brought the child back. That the way he’d immediately and expertly reacted, barking out orders to everyone, as he’d literally held the child’s heart in his hand and carefully massaged it to get it beating again had been the reason the child had made it. Thinking about her failure to monitor the resident and double-check the dose the way she should have made her feel sick all over again. Made her fall into the deep well of inadequacy she’d felt her whole life. That she’d fought so hard to climb out of to become the best doctor she possibly could be.

“It was my mistake,” she said looking into his eyes, her stomach knotting, knowing she’d see disdain there again. The condemnation she deserved. “My screw-up. The resident was my responsibility as much as the patient was. But I didn’t want anyone to know that, after all my hard work, I still wasn’t good enough. I...I did make myself admit it to the hospital administrators and senior anesthesiologist, hoping to get to stay on. To have one more chance to prove myself. I just never admitted it to you.”

Unexpected and very unwelcome tears stung her eyes, and she tried to swing away, hating to show that kind of weakness. She never cried. Had learned not to cry from the time she’d been little, because it just made people around you impatient or angry, and it never accomplished one thing other than to make your throat hurt and your nose run.