Читать книгу Discover Your Destiny with The Monk Who Sold His Ferrari: The 7 Stages of Self-Awakening - Robin Sharma - Страница 10

We shall not cease from exploration. And the end of all our exploring will be to arrive where we started and know the place for the first time.

—T. S. Eliot

That night found me sitting in a room with five thousand other people seeking the answers to life’s biggest questions. Rock music blared from the speakers and a dazzling light show lit up the otherwise dark and cavernous room. There was a palpable energy in the room. Then the speaker emerged. He was handsome, articulate and extremely charismatic. He spoke eloquently and kept the audience’s rapt attention for nearly two hours as he took us on an emotional roller coaster that made us laugh, cry and think about why we lived as we did and how each one of us could make things better. He talked about his childhood growing up without a father. He discussed his brush with cancer and how it helped connect him to the simpler, yet commonly neglected things in life. And he made us laugh at some of his insights, such as “the only thing you can expect in life is the unexpected” and “if you want to make God laugh, tell him your plans.” I also appreciated his humility. He said he was not a guru but simply a student of life and joked that his morning prayer involved the request: “God, please help me to become the person my dog thinks I am.”

“Your wounds must be turned into your wisdom,” he repeated throughout the presentation. “Your stumbling blocks can become your stepping stones if you choose. Do not miss the remarkable opportunity that adversity and even tragedy presents. Your life can be made even better by the things that break your heart.”

By the end of his speech, the speaker had each of his listeners spellbound. There was utter silence as we hung on his every word. He closed his presentation with the following statement: “Most people don’t discover how to live until it’s time to die—and that’s a shame. Most people spend the best years of their lives watching television in a subdivision. Most people die at twenty and are buried at eighty. Please, don’t let that happen to you.”

After receiving a thunderous standing ovation, the speaker left the stage. I just sat there silently as question after question began to surface in my mind. “Why was I feeling so empty in life?” No matter how much money I made or how successful I became, I still didn’t feel any differently. I also wondered whether my chosen career was the one I was supposed to be doing or if there was something else that was destined to be my “life work.” As well, I questioned whether I would find true love in my life and whether soul mates could really exist. It was interesting to me that so many questions began to arise once I took just a little bit of time to be silent and still.

As I dug deeper, more questions surfaced: Did I have choice as to how my life unfolded or was it all predetermined according to some grand master plan? If I did have choice, what was keeping me from taking steps to make things better? Was there truly a better life waiting for me out there or was that just wishful thinking? I also wondered whether everything that had happened between Rachel and me had been orchestrated by some invisible force of nature or whether the way things unfolded for us was nothing more than a reflection of my personal choices: to put my business ahead of my family, to put my needs first, to do whatever I wanted to do instead of being big-hearted, compassionate and caring. I closed my eyes and thought about these important questions. I then did something I had never done before: I began to pray for answers.

After only a few minutes, I heard someone call out my name. I looked around but, oddly, I couldn’t see anyone I recognized. Given the traumatic experience of the night before, I wondered whether I was going crazy. Only twenty-four hours earlier I had experienced white light flooding through my body and received the message “Life is a treasure and you are so much more than you know,” and now I was hearing my name being called out in a near-empty auditorium after an unforgettable motivational seminar. I closed my eyes once more—only to hear my name being called again! I quickly opened my eyes and looked around, but again, I could see no one I knew. This time, though, I saw a strange but unmistakable clue on the chair next to mine: a crisp white envelope, with my name inscribed in elegant red handwriting. It had been sealed. I ripped it open and read the words on the page: “Stop living your life as a lie, Dar. Be true to yourself and your destiny will come knocking. I’ll meet you backstage. Nice shirt, by the way—I like the stripes, very hip.”

What was going on? Evan had told me something important would happen at this motivational rally, but this was bordering on the surreal. My heart started beating quickly, and I wondered if this was a practical joke or if I was perhaps being drawn into a dangerous situation. But something within me had been stirred by the motivational speaker’s presentation, as if he had planted some seeds that were already beginning to germinate. One word quickly came to my mind: trust. I picked up my notes and put them into my Gucci briefcase. I then stood up and, not without reservation, walked to the edge of the stage from which the speaker had delivered his inspirational performance. I made my way to the curtains near the front of the stage and slipped through an opening in the folds of fabric.

Backstage, all was a flurry of activity. The speaker was not in sight, but the audiovisual technicians were hard at work, packing equipment into aluminum boxes. No one seemed to notice me. As I continued walking around the backstage area, a door slowly opened, allowing a bright light to emerge and illuminate the dimly lit area. I felt as if I was being guided towards that door, odd as that may sound. I literally felt pulled in the direction of that door; I moved through it and into a hallway. My heart was beating rapidly and my stomach was knotted with anxiety as I walked down the hall. I felt shaky and uncertain. But I also felt a confidence I had not previously encountered, one that gently suggested to me that somehow things were taken care of.

The hallway led to a red door with nothing but a silver star on it. I guessed that this was the dressing room reserved for the stars who gave performances in this auditorium. I knocked three times on the door. No one answered. I knocked again, with more vigor. Again, there was no response. I waited for a few moments and then decided that maybe I was wasting my time. The note had instructed me to go backstage but no one was here. It all made no sense. I was feeling tired and was in serious need of some sleep. It had been a rough two days and a hot cup of tea might soothe my frazzled nerves.

I was about to turn away when, as if by magic, the door opened. I couldn’t see anyone behind the door but the door continued to open wider. As I stepped into the room, I was stunned by what I saw. Rose petals had been strewn across the floor. A tall figure stood before me wearing a scarlet robe, the kind worn by monks in Nepal. His back was facing me and he stood motionless. The intricate embroidery on the back of his robe caught my eyes. It was beautiful and rich with color. For some reason, I began to relax and let out a sigh. I felt—don’t ask me why—that I was in the presence of a friend.

Slowly and dramatically, the figure turned towards me and looked straight into my eyes. He seemed to touch my soul with his striking gaze. In my entire life, I have never met anyone who exuded such power. He looked youthful, tanned, had a thick head of dark hair and seemed to be in superb physical condition, looking like some Greek god from a bygone era or, perhaps, a movie star from Hollywood. And his eyes! I will never forget those eyes. They were the most piercing and remarkable eyes I have ever seen.

Who was this man? Why was he staring at me? Why wasn’t I afraid? I didn’t know what to do and just stood there, awestruck by the entire experience. The room remained silent and this stranger remained motionless and without expression. Then his mouth curved in a gentle smile and his eyes began to sparkle like a child’s. He spoke in a confident tone.

“Only you can discover your destiny, Dar. Only you can know the path that has been laid out for you, the one your heart is calling you to walk. But having a guide will make the journey easier—we all need a good life coach to help us reach our biggest lives. The Zen sages say that when the student is ready, the teacher will appear. Now, that phrase may be overused, but it also happens to be true. I’m so happy that you trusted your instincts and came here tonight. You don’t need to be afraid. I know what’s happened to you. I know of your loss. I know of your suffering. I know of your confusion. I also know something of your longings.”

“My longings? What do you mean?” I asked in a quiet voice.

“You are a seeker, as are so many others on the planet today. The world is transforming as people who were once willing to live ordinary lives now step out of their comfort zones to explore the wilderness of the extraordinary. People are no longer willing to settle for being half-alive, divorced from their authentic power. They want to live greatly and soar among the clouds, to walk among the giants, to dance with the stars!” His forceful voice rose passionately to fill the small room.

Now he began to laugh. What a heartfelt and contagious laugh!

“Forgive me, Dar, I’m getting a little carried away. It’s just that I am so excited about what’s happening in the world today. Millions and millions of people are standing up for their-best lives. So many people are refusing to play the victim and instead choosing to play the victor. So many people are going deep within themselves to visit and conquer their fears. Hearts are opening right across the globe and people are reclaiming the brilliant and wonderful parts of themselves that they lost as they grew up and became adults. It’s an extraordinary time to be alive. The whole world is becoming a better place to be. Actually, there’s never been a better time to be a human being.”

“It doesn’t seem like it to me,” I offered, the skeptic in me coming to the surface. “There are wars, famine, crime. Our environment is in a mess. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not the most socially conscious guy out there, but even I can see that the world is a very uncertain and turbulent place.”

“Quite true,” the man replied with humility, as if he had nothing to prove to me, no ego investment in appearing right. “There is still much darkness in the world. But, trust me, there is also more light in it than ever. So many people have come to realize that you can curse the darkness or you can have the courage to be one who lights a candle. That’s what leadership as a human being is all about—lighting candles amidst darkness. Darkness only exists in the absence of light. And candles are being lit all across the planet, metaphorically speaking. We are moving towards a critical mass, a tipping point when there will be a massive shift. It’s not so far away. When enough people awaken to who they truly are and reclaim their highest potential, there will be a quantum leap. This whole world will be a lovely place to be—Heaven on Earth.”

“Heaven on Earth? A quantum leap?”

“Yes. There will be a quantum leap in the numbers of people who will be on the path to authenticity—a path that involves living life on your own terms, according to your deepest values and highest ideals. It’s a path that involves living with a wide open heart and a well-developed mind. It’s a path that’s all about confronting your fears and the things that keep you small so you can let your bigness shine. It’s beautiful, baby!” the stranger said with a wink.

“There will be a quantum leap in the numbers of people who will be willing to heal their shadow sides and never do anything to hurt or limit another person. There will be a quantum leap in the numbers of people who will refuse to live a life that is less than noble, good and fearless. There will be a quantum leap in the numbers of people who will assume genuine leadership over their lives. There will be a quantum leap in the number of people who will become seekers, just like you, Dar, searching for happiness, inner peace and a life of deep meaning. There is a huge evolutionary shift occurring for humankind. The whole species is changing. We are refusing to accept anything less than personal greatness,” he added enthusiastically.

“What do you mean by an ‘evolutionary shift’?”

“Thanks for asking. There are no silly questions in this important conversation, you know. Most of our evolution, as human beings, to date has been marked by a focus on the physical, on the external. It has, until now, all been about accumulation and hoarding. The dominant value has been ‘he who has the most wins’—he who has the most fame, he who has the biggest fortune, he who wields the most power over others. And given this value, ‘survival of the fittest’ has become the name of the game. It’s all about competition because we have come to believe that there is not enough for everyone to win. But this philosophy no longer serves us as a race. It is one born of scarcity. And behind this thought of scarcity is outright fear. Since our intentions and what we think create what we see in our outer world, all we see is lack—there’s never enough for us. And so the cycle begins, we never feel as if we have enough and we are never happy.”

“Fascinating. I’ve never heard anything like this,” I remarked, sitting down on a chair in the dressing room. The stranger remained standing with his hands folded behind him.

“Now here’s what I mean by the ‘evolutionary shift’: many human beings on the planet are taking their focus away from the single-minded concern over the physical and paying far more attention to the spiritual. We are moving from independence, where it’s all about ‘me, me, me’ to an appreciation for the paramount importance of ‘interdependence.’ Many of us have become conscious of the fact that we are all part of the same family. The most evolved among us in the world today, the authentic leaders—and by leaders I do not necessarily mean CEOs, presidents and military generals, but all women and men who have refused to follow the crowd—have realized that, at the deepest level, we are all connected. They know that when you hurt another, you are really hurting yourself. They know that when you help another, you are really helping yourself. Even frontier science is now showing this, confirming empirically what the mystics have been saying for thousands of years. Quantum physicists have discovered that the universe is a stunningly interconnected system where everything is in relationship with—and affected by—everything else. The English poet John Donne was speaking truth when he wrote: “No man is an island, entire of itself; every man is a piece of the continent, a part of the main… any man’s death diminishes me, because I am involved in mankind; and therefore never send to know for whom the bell tolls; it tolls for thee.”

“This is very interesting,” I replied, truly engaged in this new information I was hearing.

“So many of us have shifted our focus from a quest for the external to a voyage into the internal. For many, the human journey has become an inner journey. We have realized that the gateway to lasting success does not swing outward, it opens inward. The greatest treasures are the treasures that lie within. We, as a species, are now beginning to think far more about the needs of our souls and devoting more time to activities like personal growth, being more loving and compassionate and leaving a legacy. Success is important but significance is even better. Just look at the books on the bestseller lists around the world—so many of them are about the quest for self-knowledge and personal freedom. People all over the planet, in masses, are asking the big questions of life, such as ‘why am I here?’ and ‘what is my destiny?’ And, as I say, the more people change, the more the whole world will change. It’s a very beautiful process that’s taking place. And it really is an exquisite time to be alive.”

“That’s very inspiring,” I noted, relaxing even more and fully absorbing what I was hearing. I unfolded my arms.

“Now don’t get me wrong,” said the monk. “There’s nothing wrong with making money, having nice things and living a physically beautiful life. We are spiritual beings having a human experience and life can be made better through enjoying the wonderful things human beings have created. Money makes life easier and affords a great deal of freedom. Anyone who tells you otherwise is probably suffering from the Ostrich Syndrome.”

“What’s that?”

“Too many people avoid dealing with the truth. It’s easier to stick your head in the sand like an ostrich than confront your resistances to the truth. And the truth of the matter is that there’s absolutely nothing wrong with making money and having beautiful things. Who came up with the silly notion that you cannot have nice things and, at the same time, be spiritual, good and evolved anyway? Have a lovely home. Drive a fine car. Travel to exotic places. Wear beautiful clothes. I’m not suggesting that you do not experience and enjoy such worldly pleasures. Ultimately, these were created by the same hidden force that created the streams, the mountains and the trees. But remember that beauty is only skin deep. These things must not be your driving force. Do not base your identity and your self-worth on them. Know that they will not last. It’s more a matter of priorities—do not make the accumulation of such external things your primary priority. We come into the world with nothing and we leave with nothing. I’ve never seen a U-haul following a hearse on the way to a cemetery. That’s the key thing to remember. Have your beautiful things but do not be imprisoned by them. Own them but do not let them own you. Give the main aim of your life over to far more important pursuits such as discovery of your highest potential, giving of yourself to others and making a difference by living for something more important than yourself. Success is fine but significance is the real name of the game,” he re-emphasized.

All of this man’s wisdom was exactly what I needed to hear at this juncture of my life. Perhaps I really was the student and perhaps I had finally arrived at a place where I was ready to learn, and now the teacher appeared. Maybe nothing I had experienced in my life up to this point was a waste. Maybe it was all meant to be—all preparation to get me to this point of readiness. Evan, my human resources manager—a very spiritual man—frequently used the phrase “all is well in the universe” whenever something did not go as planned. No matter what unfolded for him at work and in life he’d say that it was “all good,” even when it was painful. I was getting the sense that he was speaking truthfully. Perhaps there really were no accidents and the intricacies of our lives all happened according to a subtle yet perfect intelligence that, try as we might, we could not understand.

“I hope you don’t mind my asking, but who are you?” I asked, mustering up my courage and hoping not to offend, in any way, this peculiar yet unforgettable man who was sharing his profound wisdom with me.

“My name is Julian Mantle and I have come to serve as your guide. I’m here to help you discover your destiny,” came the simple reply.

He then reached into a wide silk pocket that had been sewn into his robe and pulled out a banana. Can you believe that? A banana! He peeled it and began munching away on it contentedly.

“Want one?” he asked graciously. “I have another in my knapsack,” he said, pointing to a tattered canvas bag in the corner. “Bananas are excellent fuel for the body. The body must be nourished with only the best foods if you want it to perform at its highest level.”

I hardly heard what he said—my mind started racing. Julian Mantle! Unbelievable! I knew who Julian Mantle was. Everyone I knew recognized the name of Julian Mantle. I could not contain my excitement.

“Julian Mantle! The Monk Who Sold His Ferrari? Are you serious?” The whole scene felt surreal: the monk in front of me, the wise words he had offered, the chomping of the banana. It was as though I was having an out-of-body experience, watching the whole thing unfold from above. Yesterday I had a gun to my head, ready to take my life. Only one day later, I’m hanging out backstage after a motivational seminar with an eccentric monk who is telling me about the value of banana-eating and sharing his thoughts on the spiritual transformation that is occurring across the planet. Simply unbelievable.

I had heard about Julian on a regular basis since I was young. My father was a litigation lawyer who worked with one of the largest firms in the city and he would constantly entertain me with stories of “the great Julian Mantle.” Julian was one of the nation’s best trial lawyers and a man who was known far and wide not only for his abundant legal gifts but also for his high-flying, jet-set lifestyle. Julian Mantle was a superstar in the truest sense of the word. He had everything a human being could want. But he threw it all away.

Julian had graduated from Harvard Law School and was destined for a life of success. He was a “golden boy” and seemed unstoppable as he attracted the biggest cases, the best clients and scored win upon win. Along the way, he made more money than my father ever imagined a lawyer making and gained more publicity in one month than most lawyers generated over their entire careers. Dad said he dated the most beautiful women in the city, mostly fashion models, and was loved by all for his larger-than-life persona and roguish charm. When I was younger, my dad would drive me through the most posh area of the city and point out Julian’s sprawling mansion, which sat only a few doors down from the home of one of the world’s most famous rock stars. Julian appeared to live fully and to have it all. He even had a bright red Ferrari that he used to park in the center of his driveway. I still remember how much I loved looking at that car as a boy. I would have given anything for a ride in it. Dad said it was Julian’s most loved possession.

And then something happened to Julian Mantle, according to my dad. He began to unravel. He gained weight and started to smoke too much. He began taking too many chances and lost too many cases. I wasn’t really sure what caused this undoing but it was the most striking fall from grace that any one of us had ever seen. I guess the higher you go, the harder you fall. And then one day, in the middle of a packed courtroom amidst a particularly high-profile trial, Julian collapsed, apparently of a heart attack. My dad told me that that was the defining moment of Julian Mantle’s life—the turning point. How we show up when we meet the turning points of our lives has a big influence on how our lives ultimately unfold, I have learned. What Julian did next altered the course of his life forever.

After months of recuperation, Julian resigned from the practice of law and left the country. He sold his mansion. Sold his possessions. He even sold his prized Ferrari as he departed for India, that exotic land of a million adventures and timeless wisdom. My guess is that he was looking for some answers and that India seemed to offer him some promise of finding them. No one heard from Julian for a long, long time. Many thought he was dead.

A number of months ago I read a front-page article entitled “Julian Mantle: The Monk Who Sold His Ferrari. One Man’s Crusade to Improve the World.” The article revealed that Julian Mantle had undergone a remarkable transformation while he was in India. High in the Himalayas, he had discovered a little-known group of monks. They had shared with him an ancient and profound philosophy for personal transformation and living one’s greatest life. Through the extraordinary wisdom he learned, Julian experienced massive—and wonderful—changes in his own life. Physically, he recreated himself so that he looked many years younger than his actual age, exuding a vitality that was truly exceptional. Intellectually, he accessed the most universal truths upon which a rich and meaningful life is built and integrated them into the way he viewed the world, finding inner peace in the process. Emotionally, he became aware of many of the wounds that he had suffered during his childhood, wounds that were still running his life as an adult and blocking him from experiencing the joys that each one of us deserves to experience on a daily basis. This then allowed him to clear much of the anger he had been carrying with him through life, affecting him physically and psychically. He was able to heal the hurts of the past. Spiritually, he accessed his deepest values and reconnected with his highest self. Julian took off the social mask he had been wearing his whole life and became authentic, now living his life on his own terms, congruent with his highest values and according to the dictates of his heart. He stopped living to please others and stopped caring about looking good in the world. He refused to follow the crowd and betray himself, in any way. All he cared about now was being real and doing good. “Julian Mantle has discovered his destiny and this has made him a very happy man,” I recalled the account stating.

The article also said that Julian had made it his central mission to come back to the West and help as many other people as he could to live their best lives and access the fullness of their potential. The story explained how Julian had been popping up, in his red robes, at different places and helping some of his old friends, family members and strangers reclaim their personal greatness and live far happier, healthier and fulfilling lives. The reporter wrote that Julian’s work was creating an enormous buzz and that many people across the country were starting to put together expeditions to seek him out. Julian had become a folk hero of sorts and a mystique had begun to arise around him. But Julian was remarkably elusive: no person who had actively searched for Julian had been able to find him. Julian had not been interviewed in the story, but many had started calling him “The Reluctant Guru.” The tale of Julian’s life would have made for a fabulous movie in this age when so many of us are so spiritually starved.

“Are you really Julian Mantle?” I asked, still not quite believing. “Why did you come looking for me? My dad used to tell me about you. He was one of your colleagues, you know.”

“I know exactly who your father is,” came the gentle reply. “He was a friend of mine, and I value my friendships enormously. Your dad told me a lot about you, and I heard about what happened to your family life recently. I’ve come to be of service. Servant leaders are the most powerful of all, you know.”

“Never knew that,” I responded.

“Things are never as bad as they seem. The situations that cause us sorrow are the same ones that introduce us to the strength, power and wisdom that we truly are.”

He continued. “I know things have been extremely difficult for you, Dar. I am very sensitive to what you are going through and I would never minimize your feelings. Feelings are the doorways into your soul and they must be acknowledged and then felt to completion. Feelings carry important information and serve to foster your self-relationship if explored fully. To deny them is to deny a natural part of you. To pretend you are not feeling what you are feeling would be a very unhealthy thing to do, both psychologically and physiologically. Swallowing your feelings leads to disease. But there is a much bigger picture at play, one that you cannot comprehend with your current perception. Remember, we see the world not as it is but as we are. As you change, the way you see the world changes. As your awareness expands, you will become aware of things you previously could neither see nor understand. All is good here. All that has unfolded for you is leading you to a fantastic place. As human beings, our tendency is to tell life to listen to what we want. But life doesn’t work that way. It gives us what we need, what is best for us—what is in our highest interests. Your life will work much better once you begin to listen to life. Let it lead you rather than trying to push the river. And trust that where life carries you is exactly where you are meant to be. Let go of all your resistance and move into a posture of surrendering to whatever is unfolding. Doing so is one of the ways you will ensure that you will walk the path of your destiny, your true path.”

“I read a story about you in the paper a little while ago,” I said. “It’s incredible what you’re doing to help make the world a better place.”

“Yes, I read that article,” Julian replied with a grin. “I actually have it with me somewhere. I am an idealist and it makes me feel so happy when I read that piece because I am reminded that I am making a difference. I measure my life not by decades but by deeds. I’ve learned that lasting happiness comes by giving, not getting. The Chinese say it so well: ‘A little fragrance always clings to the hand that gives roses.’ And yet we all too often forget that. In business, for example, we fail to act in win-win ways. We buy into the false assumption that someone has to lose for us to win. We guard our territories and refuse to operate from a frame of reference that sees the value in helping all those around us succeed. There’s no truth in that. As a matter of fact, the best way to lead the field in business is to devote yourself to adding more value to your clients and customers than they have any right to expect. The true leaders in business understand who puts food on their tables and, therefore, treat their customers like royalty. They serve, cherish and love their customers. Love is an incredibly powerful business tool, you know?”

“I’ve never thought of it that way.”

“Well, it’s true, my friend. And before anyone will lend you a hand, you must touch their heart. Be like the sun: the sun gives all it can give. But in return, all of the flowers, the trees and the plants grow towards it. In your business life alone, by dedicating yourself to delighting and loving your clients, you will create an army of goodwill ambassadors who will run out into the world and tell everyone they know about what you do and who you are. Even when it comes to your so-called competition, try to do whatever you can to help them. Forge alliances with them. Develop friendships with them. Business is all about relationships. Help them get what they want and the ancient law of reciprocity will kick in—they’ll begin to help you get what you want. Giving begins the receiving process.”

“Very nice point,” I agreed, sensing the power of this man’s words.

“So, as I say, the bit about the difference I’m making in that article makes me feel good about myself since it reminds me I’m blessing lives, in my own small way. But I don’t take all the recognition I’m getting too seriously. No one takes you seriously when you take yourself too seriously, you know.”

I smiled on hearing that line. This guy was good.

“I can’t believe they’re calling me a sage,” he continued, lifting a speck of banana off his pristine robe. “What do I know about that kind of thing? I’m just an ordinary man who has, with the help of some very powerful teachers, discovered a philosophy that will lead anyone who chooses to adopt it to a beautiful life. Every human being needs to carve out the time to articulate a philosophy for his or her life—it’s one of the most important things a person can do. Every person, to live truly and greatly, must define how he wants to live and what his brightest life will look like. We all need to have a statement on a piece of paper that we can revisit every morning while the rest of the world is asleep that will serve as a moral compass to direct the choices of our day. This will serve as an anchor to lock us into our best moves. Without such a statement of philosophy, you will live your life by accident, reacting to whatever pops up within your days. Living like that is a recipe for disaster—you’re just begging for trouble when you live like that. Makes me think of a saying: ‘If you don’t know where you’re going, any road will get you there.’”

“So I need to take some time to think about what I want my life to stand for?”

“Absolutely, Dar. This is one of the musts of life. Successful and fulfilled people make the time to think, plan and reflect. They are awake to their lives because they know that each day is an incredibly precious gift. If you don’t believe that, walk into a hospital on the way home and talk to someone in the cancer ward. Ask them what they would give for an extra day of life.”

What Julian said shot through me. I had taken so much of life for granted. I had never viewed each day above ground as a gift and an opportunity to create something great or make a difference.

“Most people spend more time planning their summer vacations than they do planning their lives. What a shame. Be thoughtful about your life. Ask yourself: ‘How am I meant to live?’ Question what you are meant to do, what things you will no longer tolerate in your life and what standards of excellence you will hold yourself to, on a go-forward basis. Living life without a devotion to excellence dishonors the priceless gifts and talents that have been given to you.”

Julian continued, taking a few steps as he spoke and raising his hands into the air for effect. “Without a philosophy that reflects your truth in terms of how you want to live and what you aim to be, how can you make choices that are right for you? Without a philosophy, you will live your life according to other people’s wishes. You’ll be like those lemmings, following the crowd as they walk off the cliff to their deaths. Without a philosophy, you just might find yourself on your deathbed and wonder ‘what if my whole life was a lie?’”

“That explains the writing on the card. The line about ‘Stop living your life as a lie.’ I assume you were the one who left that for me, Julian?”

“Of course. What fun is life without a hint of mystery? What joy is life without a little adventure? I was trying to inject some wonder into your life. This path you are interested in walking is not for the faint of heart, my friend. It requires great courage. You must confront your fears and then move through them. It will not be easy but it will lead you to the place that the deepest part of you is hungering to know. Anyway, as I was saying before, I can’t believe people are calling me a guru. I’m just a student of life who has some pretty powerful insights to share. Think of me more as a guide. I drop into people’s lives to guide them in the right direction. I look for people who have a willingness to make some big changes in their lives because they know, deep within, that there is so much more to life than what they are currently experiencing. Makes me think of what Rumi once said: ‘Whoever enters The Way without a guide will take a hundred years to travel a two-day journey.’”

I chuckled, appreciating the depth of wisdom being shared. This must have been Julian Mantle. Who else could share what he was sharing? I relaxed even more, releasing the last bit of uncertainty about this unusual man’s identity.

“Maybe a better way to look at what I do is to consider me a life coach. I coach people on becoming their highest selves and help them play their biggest games as human beings. I help people discover their destiny and live their dreams. It’s hard to believe that we live in a world where most people are more concerned with following the crowd and doing what everyone else is doing than living their dreams. I’ll tell you something I pray you never will forget: One of the greatest regrets a person can ever have is getting to the end of their lives and realizing they did not do their dreams. Getting to the end or even the middle of your life and waking up one day to the understanding that you did not dare, that you did not reach for the stars, that you did not realize even one-tenth of your potential will break your heart. Trust me on this one—I see it all the time. At the end of our lives, what fills our hearts with regret are not all the risks we took. Instead, what causes us to feel immense sadness is thinking about all the risks we didn’t take, all the opportunities we did not seize, all the things we did not do. Do not live your life as a timid soul, my friend. Get into the arena, forget about the critics and play big with the gifts of your days. Life is short and the years will slip away very quickly, like grains of sand passing through your fingers on a hot day at the beach. You were meant to shine and let your talents see the light of day. There is but one failure in life and that is the failure to try. The greatest failure in life is the unwillingness to play your highest game and walk towards the places that frighten you.”

“I agree, Julian. I completely agree. I regret so much of the way I’ve lived up until now.”

“Be gentle with yourself. We grow from our mistakes. What’s that expression—good judgment comes from experience, experience comes from making mistakes and mistakes come from bad judgment. I’d rather be willing to experiment with life and make a few mistakes than forego growth by refusing to step out of the confines of my comfort zone. So you made some mistakes. Forgive yourself and move on. The past is a grave and it makes no sense to spend your life living in a grave. Every ending represents a new beginning. Or to put it another way, you cannot move forward in life if you’re stuck looking in the rearview mirror. As Cicero noted: ‘The souls of wise people look to the future state of their existence; all of their thoughts are concentrated towards eternity.’ The key is to learn from your mistakes and build a foundation of wisdom. Blend self-responsibility with self-forgiveness. The key is also to keep running towards rather than away from your fears because on the other side of your greatest fears lives your greatest life. If you do not keep running towards your fear wall, you will never—ever—discover personal freedom. Freedom lives on the other side of your fears. How often do you think most people are frightened?”

“I have no idea,” I replied honestly. “Maybe once every few months.”

“If you do not feel some fear on a daily basis, you are living life within a safe harbor and clinging to the shore. Do you know the story of how Columbus came to the New World?” Julian asked warmly.

“No, I don’t, Julian. I used to read a lot of history but I have no idea what the answer to your question is.”

“He went perpendicular,” said Julian as he brought his bronzed hands together to form a “T.”

“What do you mean by that?”

“Before Columbus, all previous adventurers sailed close to the shore, within sight of land. That was the accepted way to sail. Columbus dared to be different. He refused to do what all others had done. He took a risk: he sailed perpendicular to the shore—straight out to sea. And because he let go of the known and had the bravery to sail out into the unknown, he became one of our greatest heroes. You see, my friend, heroes are revolutionaries. All progress of humankind has been made by people who refused to think, feel and act like everyone else. John F. Kennedy stating he would work hard to put a man on the moon was the talk of a revolutionary, one who refused to follow the crowd and play small. Mahatma Gandhi’s dream of freeing a nation was the fantasy of a revolutionary who refused to let his fears run him. Mother Teresa’s goal of ridding Calcutta of the shackles of poverty was the ideal of a revolutionary who refused to listen to the shouts of the naysayers telling her it could not and should not be done. George Bernard Shaw said it so very well: ‘The reasonable man adapts himself to the world; the unreasonable one tries to adapt the world to himself. Therefore, all progress depends on the unreasonable man.’ That’s such an important point of wisdom. All progress comes from unreasonable people, people who follow their hearts and the instructions of their consciences rather than the commands of the crowd. All progress has come from risk-takers and men and women who were willing to visit the places that scared them.”

“That is a great point, Julian,” I agreed. “All human progress, all of the advancements in the world—ranging from the discovery of fire to the creation of the personal computer—have come about by people who had the courage not to listen to the crowd but do what they felt was right, regardless of the fact it provoked uncertainty and fear within them.”

“To take risks is to provoke fear, amigo. But to take risks is to be most alive. I deeply feel that we are most alive when we are taking risks, being bold and visiting the unknown spaces of our lives. ‘Big risks, big life. Small risks, small life,’ is the way I view it. If you want to live greatly, you must also be willing to risk greatly. To get to the pearls, the diver needs to be willing to go deep and visit the places that the timid souls would never visit.”

“Good example.”

“When you ask for something you’ve never asked for from someone and your heart starts beating rapidly, that’s when you are truly alive. When you want to say something to someone but the very thought of doing so sends butterflies through your stomach, that’s when you are most alive. When you do something that you’ve never done before but follow through on it because you know in your heart it’s something that will make your life richer and better, that’s when you are most alive. Papa Wallenda, the great high-wire walker, said it so well when he observed: ‘Life is on the wire. The rest is just waiting.’”

Julian continued with a level of enthusiasm that is rare in our world today. “So see me as your life coach. All smart businesspeople have coaches to help them get where they want to go. Every elite athlete has a coach to help them play at their best. Well, think of yourself as an elite performer on the playing field of life—you need a coach to guide, inspire and champion you as you evolve into who you are destined to become. I knew you’d be here at the seminar tonight. That guy was pretty good out there—I really liked what he had to say. I hope I didn’t frighten you by the way I drew you to me.”

“Oh no, Julian, you didn’t,” I lied.

Julian continued. “It’s just that the people I work with must be people willing to take some risks. At each step along the journey of our lives, we have choice. We can confront the things that we are resisting, and in doing so grow as human beings. Or we can choose not to stretch ourselves and, in doing so, remain stagnant and small. In other words, our choices either free us or they limit us. So I placed a few little challenges in your way to see how you’d respond. And you did great.”

“Well, Julian—and I hope you don’t mind me calling you Julian…”

“Of course not, Dar. We’ll be getting to know each other quite well over the coming weeks. Let’s do away with any formality,” replied Julian as he sipped from a bottle of Evian water.

“I’d love to have you as my life coach. Actually, I’m very honored that you would choose me as your next project. You’re right. I have a great sense that I am ready to discover my destiny and live my true life. Something miraculous happened to me yesterday that opened up that awareness within me. I can’t really get into it right now, but let me simply say that I’m beginning to appreciate what a treasure this gift of life is. I’m also starting to realize that each of us has far more potential for greatness than most of us can fathom.”

“Very true,” Julian affirmed.

I continued. “Julian, let me ask you a basic question that I think a lot of people are wondering about: how does one actually go about discovering his destiny?”

Julian ran a hand along the embroidery on the front of his robe. He closed his eyes, as if he was seeking guidance from a higher source. After a long silence, he spoke.

“No one discovers their destiny, Dar. Your destiny will discover you—it will find you, provided you have done the preparation and inner work required to seize the opportunity when it presents itself. Carlos Castaneda said it so well: ‘All of us, whether or not we are warriors, have a cubic centimeter of chance that pops out in front of our eyes from time to time. The difference between the average person and a warrior is that the warrior is aware of this and stays alert, deliberately waiting, so that when this cubic centimeter of chance pops out, it is picked up.’”

“Neat.”

“Here’s the key. Stop worrying about finding your destiny. Spend your time getting to know yourself. Tear down the façade you show to the world and do the deep inner work on yourself needed to know who you really are. Focus on rebuilding your self-relationship. Get to know your deepest and truest values. Get to know your preferences and priorities—not those that others have taught you are the most important but those that you feel to be of the highest value. Get to know what genuinely makes you feel happy. Bring the subconscious patterns and ways of reacting to things out into the light of your awareness, so they can be healed. Get to know your fears and how you came to make them your own. As you come to know who you are, you can then claim your destiny as it draws closer to you. As you get to know who you truly are and what you are really all about, you will be able to seize that ‘cubic centimeter of chance’ when it pops out in front of you. And trust me, it will.”

“Okay. Makes perfect sense. I’m open to doing all this ‘inner work,’ as you call it—even getting to know my darkest fears.”

“Someone gave you your fears, you know? Someone taught them to you.”

“Really?”

“Of course. At the moment of your birth, you were truly fearless. At the moment of your birth, you were pure perfection. Henri Amiel once wrote that ‘Childhood is blessed by heaven because it brings a piece of paradise into the cruelties of life. All these thousands of everyday births are fresh additions of innocence and purity which fight against our spoiled nature.’”

“So true, Julian. Children do come to us more highly evolved than adults to teach us the lessons we need to learn. I know I’ve forgotten that lesson many times. In so many ways, children are the teachers. They know so much more than we allow them credit for.”

“Exactly, amigo. As infants, we really are perfect. We are still connected to the force that created the world. But as we begin to age, we adopt fears from the world around us. We become ‘spoiled.’ We do this because we want to fit in and be like everyone else. We want our parents to love and adore us. So we model them and take on their fears, limiting beliefs and false assumptions so we can be more like them. It’s all done because we crave to be loved. Who you are in this moment is not who you truly are. Rather, it’s someone you’ve become as a result of being in this world. To clear all those fears that you have assumed from the world around you, you will need to go back and explore the source of all your fears. Then you’ll have to work through them until they are no longer a part of your psyche. To know yourself so that your destiny will come calling, you must also pay more attention to your life and reflect on the lessons that need to be learned. You must be strict with yourself and examine your story.”

“My story?”

“Every one of us creates a story about his own life, even if he only tells it to himself. For some, the story is all about being a victim. They are the way they are because of their childhoods or because of where they grew up or because of the bad things that have happened to them. So many people in the world today are professional victims.”

“Why?”

“Because playing the victim is easy. You do not have to assume any responsibility for the way your life looks. You can blame everyone else for what’s not working in your life, never having to look at yourself and make the changes required. But when you play victim, you assign away your power to that which you allege is victimizing you. It’s a very impotent way to live.”

“So true,” I replied, nodding my head in agreement.

“The story that people create may be that they are too old to chase their dreams or not attractive enough to find the mate they desire or not smart enough to do what they wish to do. It goes on and on. My point is really this: The best move you can make is to work on your self-relationship.”

“Just like you did in the Himalayas,” I interjected.

“Just as I did in the Himalayas,” Julian echoed. “Most people have lost the connection with themselves. They have forgotten who they truly are. That makes me so sad. Every single one of us has greatness written into our DNA. Our lives were meant to be joy-filled, exciting and rich with love, peace and beauty. Happiness is our birthright. But we get in our own way. We have fallen into the trap of mediocrity. We believe that we are not meant for miracles. We play small for fear that, should we step out into our higher possibilities, we will get hurt or people will not love us or our lives will not work.”

“So true.”

Julian continued enthusiastically. “We buy into the lie that only money will bring us happiness and so we sell our souls. We just don’t know who we are anymore and what we were meant to become. We’ve unconsciously traded in the authentic power we are born with for the external power that comes from being in the world. We really have forgotten who we truly are. And if you do not know who you are and what it is you truly want to be, then how can you recognize and seize your destiny when it presents itself to you? Know yourself and, I promise you, your destiny will find you.”

Julian paused. “Okay, time to wrap up our first coaching session, Dar. It’s getting late and I’m sure you’ve had enough excitement for one night.”

Julian then put one of his muscular arms around my shoulders as we left the dressing room and walked down the hallway. Just being next to Julian brought me to peace.

“And all I ask is that you trust me. If you are willing, I will take you to a place you never dreamed of being. Frederick Faust said it well when he noted: ‘There is a giant asleep within every person. When that giant awakes, miracles happen.’ I will share the secrets that I learned high up in those mountains with you. I will show you all you need to know to taste the deliciousness that life can be. Just ‘let out all the length of the reins’ for once in your life, my friend.”

“What do you mean by that?”

“Well, it’s a phrase I love. It speaks to the need for each and every one of us to walk into our fears, if we want to live big and gorgeous lives. It comes from something Mary Cholmondeley once wrote. Here, take this. It’ll be helpful.”

Julian handed me a slip of paper from the pocket of his robe. It looked crumpled from much use. It read simply:

Every year I live I am more convinced that the waste of life lies in the love we have not given, the powers we have not used, the selfish prudence that will risk nothing, and which, shirking pain, missed happiness as well. No one ever yet was poorer in the long run having once in a lifetime ‘let out all the length of the reins.’

“Amazing quote, Julian. Please know that I’m willing to do whatever you advise me to do,” I replied quickly, recognizing the giant opportunity that Julian’s life coaching invitation presented. I’d been hearing a lot about the value of having a life coach from many of my friends who also ran businesses, and I felt blessed that Julian had entered my life at this point in time. “How long will my transformation take?”

“Personal transformation is not a race, Dar. Actually, sometimes the harder you try to change, the longer it takes. So many people treat self-discovery like an extreme sport—rushing to get all their healing at a frenetic pace. They read book after book. They visit guide after guide and attend seminar after seminar. They want to know the answers to the big questions they are struggling with. But someone who cannot sit in the mystery of their lives and enjoy the process of personal growth is a person in fear.”

“Really?” I asked, surprised to hear this. One of the dominant values of our society is “faster is better” and to hear Julian reject this notion only heightened the mystique that surrounded him and his untraditional philosophy.