Читать книгу Way to stars – 3. Sentence - Rolia Kama - Страница 5

The camera gradually filled up. In November, a woman was detained in Novosibirsk. She and her husband have been wanted for seven years. Her name was Orlan, I became friends with her, as she was fluent in Russian and was more relaxed than other women in the cell. I learned to smoke marijuana with her when I had never smoked before, even a cigarette. I want to say that I liked it, marijuana acted like a relaxing dream book on me. From the first use, I overslept for almost 20 hours, apparently the body and brain for three years of tension, was exhausted. I had a deep sleep, without sleep. After waking up, I was hungry as never before, eating everything I could. It feels like my strength has recovered. Under marijuana, I prepared my supervisory appeal.

Well, the last week was left before being sent to the colony, so I smoked it every day.

Tomorrow they’ll take me to the colony. I leave teenagers’ children, a paralyzed mother and a half-blind father at home. How much more I have to survive, God alone knows. All the pain and heaviness of my soul cannot be expressed in words.

Later I realized that each person carries a certain mission, and until this mission is completed, the death of a person will not overtake. The experienced grief helps a person to discover the meaning of life. Unfortunately, not everyone succeeds. Yes, and I, until I was fully aware of this. I realized one thing, that my mission is to help people. To find the path to the stars, I had a lot to experience and learn. In the meantime, I hoped that I would not stay in the colony for a long time. Eight months later, I began the period of changing the detention regime to the colony settlement. I intended to return, at best, to be released on the basis of a supervisory appeal, at worst, to return to the settlement colony.

If my mother could walk, she would try through her relatives to help me with something.

I know that today dad and children will come on a date. I prepared my things and four boxes of materials on the criminal case, or rather four boxes of this trumped-up shit, I needed to hand over to my relatives so that they would be kept until I left. The guard, who came to take me out on a date, had to call three men from the business team. My beloved dad tells me:

– Daughter, how do you arrive at your destination, write me right away. I’ll come, get a job nearby in the village, I will always be with you.

– Dad, well, where will you come, mom needs you, children need to study, I can handle it and will be back soon.

– Daughter, please, in spite of everything, first of all, save yourself as a man and as a woman.

What, means like a woman, I thought. Only in the colony, or rather in the prison of Barnaul, I learn the meaning of his last words, but so far I did not want to think about anything. Dad is crying, not ashamed of his tears, along with him my daughters are crying.

“Well, are you, as if, escorting me to death, I promise you that I will be back this year or in the first half of next year.”

I reassure them. Seeing my father’s tears, I mentally cry out all my ancestors and curse the judges who sentenced us and all their descendants to the seventh generation. I did not know that I was seeing my beloved, dear to me father for the last time. I know about the laws of attraction in nature, about the boomerang, but seeing the tears of the people dearest to me, I can not resist and curse with all the fibers of my consciousness all who participated in this custom-made business. Now, reading this book, you guess where all the misfortunes came to your family.