Читать книгу Shadows of Belonging - Ron Rockey - Страница 4

Perhaps, you have felt lonely far too long and cannot understand why you just do not seem to connect well with others. Perhaps you want to improve any relationship you have that isn’t working as well as you would like it to. Maybe you feel that you can never get beyond a surface relationship with anyone. It could be that you are not the reason for lack of intimacy (in-to-me-see) in a friendship or maybe even in a marriage. It could be that those you feel attracted to cannot move beyond surface conversation. Wanna’ know why? Whatever your reason for reading this book, you should be optimistic about what you can learn here about yourself and others and what positive changes you can create as a result. While the temptation will be to look at others in your circle of family and friends, the wiser choice is to spend this time reading and applying this information to YOURSELF! Keep your eyes on the mark (feeling like you belong), and head straight for it!

Now, let’s look at you. There are some interesting scientific facts that would be helpful for you to learn about the brain and how it works. There are some interesting psychological facts about how a human being responds to mother while developing in the womb and in the early interactions with birth parents or primary caregivers. It is also helpful to know how a child responds to neglect, abandonment, abuse or security and love at home.

Have you struggled in the darkness of anger, sadness or loneliness? It is essential that you understand that your feelings – your emotions – do not come to you from out of the blue, but each has an origin, an instigating experience(s), that produce within your mind, thoughts and feelings about yourself and others. It is out of the conclusions that you have drawn about yourself that you have developed your particular Style of Attachment (the way you attach to others). Add to this the fact that God’s enemy wants to do all in his power to see to it that you are easily discouraged with your human interactions, so that you won’t even attempt connection with God.

Please understand that what you will learn is NOT about blaming others, particularly parents. It is a process of understanding how you’ve been impacted by your early experiences. It is an acknowledgment of the truth of your experiences, rather than covering them. Once you acknowledge truth, you can move forward to improved and deeper relationships. Like it or not, we are a composite of all of the experiences we have ever had from the moment of our conception. As a matter of fact, from your relatives from three or four generations before you were born, traits have been incorporated into who you are. You were born with these traits, and you saw them modeled in the lives of your parents and grandparents as well. This is a solid fact!

Can you believe it? It’s not even necessary for you to recall the experiences for them to still affect your decision-making today. The tendency toward them is included in your DNA. Dr. Bruce Lipton, formerly of the University of Wisconsin and one of the founders of DNA, makes it very clear in his lectures that we carry the physical and emotional traits and the results of life experiences of those who came before us. Parents’, grandparents’, great-grandparents’ and even great-great-grandparents’ experiences and feelings can impact our feelings today, and thus our actions.

Of course, you can’t remember details about the atmosphere around or between your parents while you were inside your mother’s womb. You no doubt can’t even remember what happened in the delivery room when you were born or in the nursery or in your mother’s arms when you were fresh out of the womb. And, it is doubtful that you can picture what you were wearing on your trip home from the hospital when you were just a few days old, or your first view of grandparents or older brothers and sisters. You might have even been a sick newborn or a preemie and had to remain in the hospital longer than the usual stay for new mothers and babies, but nevertheless those experiences of life all have an impact on how your thoughts and feelings have developed.

Do you think that this is foolish psychobabble? Not so! In this book, you will be provided with scientific verification and words of wisdom from leaders in both the scientific and psychological world. If you are a Christian, you will see that what you will learn also corroborates with Biblical teachings. Sadly, many blame God for the negative things that befall them, when it is His enemy who is responsible. Satan uses those who allow him to do so, to wound others, especially their children and grandchildren. All of this is written for you here in an attempt to create understanding of your current situation, and how you got to it. When you have received knowledge and hopefully have applied what you have read to yourself, you will be offered tools to undo the negative emotional charge in your memories. It is this negative atmosphere in your thought life that can dog your steps and steal your joy, leaving you bitter, lonely and alone, even pushing others away by caustic words and hurtful behaviors toward them. So are you ready to move out of the shadows?