Читать книгу Walk With Me, Jesus: A Widow's Journey - Ronda Chervin Ph.D. - Страница 18

Fear and trembling come upon me, and horror overwhelms me,

And I say, "Had I but wings like a dove, I would fly away and be at rest.

Far away I would fee; I would lodge in the wilderness.

I would hasten to find shelter from the violent storm and the tempest,

Psalm 55:6-9

In By Grief Refined, Alice von Hildebrand speaks of her own experiences when she writes:

[Think of] the widow whose human life was anchored in her spouse, and whose existence has been shattered by his death ... the loss of the person who was, humanly speaking, the sun of her earthly existence.

It is a terrible thing to wake up in the morning, stretch one's hand to caress the hand of the beloved, and grasp the void. To fall asleep is difficult – one's mind seems to be spinning, one's heart is restless, one's will is frozen... We try desperately to wind back the clock, hoping to see him one more time, hear his voice one more time, tell him one more time that we love him and the bitter words come to our lips: "Never, never again."

Perhaps you can identify. You feel as if you died, too ... a spiritual death that testifies to the strength of the bond that united the two of you, and to the depth of your sorrow. Since death is the separation of soul and body, it is not surprising that by being torn away from the person with whom we were one flesh, a part of us dies as well.

How can people who do not believe in God or the immortality of the soul, bear this loss? For the Christian widow, the loss is still hard to bear - and yet the precious water of your tears irrigates a rich harvest of new life.

Your beloved remains mysteriously close in silence. Every time you wake up to find nothingness, you repeat to yourself, "No, I know that he is still there. He is invisible, but he is more loving than ever. I must now learn a new language, a new way of communicating with him."

You will never get over it. But in time you will know that love is stronger than death.

FOR PONDERING

"By being torn away from the person with whom we were one flesh, a part of us dies as well." Have you experienced this? When and how?

"Love is stronger than death."

In what ways and at what times do you feel closest to your husband?

PRAYER OF THE DAY

Come Holy Spirit,

inspire me to speak words wise,

encouraging and consoling.

Jesus, Bridegroom of Widows help me.

Mary, Exalted Widow help me.

Widow saints, help me.