Читать книгу The Cowboy Soldier - Roz Fox Denny - Страница 10

“IF IT’S OKAY WITH YOU, I’d like to spend some time again tomorrow working with the mare,” Rafe said as he and Alexa walked into the house for lunch.

“Fine with me. Like I said, Esperanza performed better to your commands.”

“Really? Are you just saying that to pump up my ego?”

Alexa went over to the sink to wash her hands. “Like your ego needs pumping. You’ve got a healthy supply of machismo, Rafe.”

“Are you saying I’m full of myself?”

Best not to reply to that, Alexa thought. “Is a cold ham-and-cheese sandwich okay with you?” she asked instead.

“Whatever. Food is food. You seem to be trying to change the subject. I thought you doctors always laid the truth on the line.”

Alexa dried her hands and took down two plates from the cupboard. The truth was he looked damned sexy the way he casually propped one lean hip against her kitchen counter. He hadn’t lost his military bearing, nor had he grown soft from lying around. His cheekbones and jaw were angular, but the small cleft in his chin kept his features from being too sharp.

“Your attitude sucks and you have a mile-high chip on your shoulder.” That was one truth Alexa wasn’t reluctant to share.

“That’s calling a spade a spade.” Rafe’s lips thinned as he processed her blunt statement. Compadre woofed softly, gazing anxiously up at the man who’d stiffened beside him.

Alexa quickly prepared their lunch and set the plates on the table. “I put cut-up fruit on the side. Do you want a spoon or a fork for that?”

“Are you sure it’s normal fruit, or some herbal crap like clover and dandelion leaves?”

“They’re not fruits,” Alexa said, snatching a whistling teakettle off the hot stove, “and that’s the attitude I’m talking about. If I was treating you for infertility, I would use red clover buds and marigold flowers. But I honestly don’t know what cures sarcasm.”

She could see that Rafe tried to keep a straight face, but he couldn’t quite manage. His laughter seemed to roll up from his belly.

“Great,” Alexa shot back. “You’ve been hiding a sense of humor. Here. Sit down. These are apple slices and cantaloupe cubes from a melon I picked fresh this morning. You’ll be happy to hear that today’s tea is cinnamon,” she added, pouring their mugs full of the spicy-scented brew.

Rafe took his seat as instructed and Alexa sensed how relaxed he felt.

She unfolded her napkin. “If you feel up to it, I thought maybe after lunch we could go for a ride.”

“Where? Into town? I could buy some groceries.”

Ignoring the dig at her food, Alexa said, “I meant go for a horseback ride. Sorry, I should have been more clear.”

Rafe swallowed a bite of sandwich. “I need to be able to see to direct a horse.” All levity had disappeared from his tone.

“I wouldn’t have suggested a ride if I didn’t think you could do it, Rafe. There are two or three easy park trails we can pick up just down the road. They’re wide enough to ride two abreast. Plus, my horses are docile.” Alexa could tell he was interested, but still debated the issue with himself.

“Docile, huh?” He gave a little snort. “Why bother saddling up, then? I might as well just sit in my room in the rocking chair?”

“Cute,” she shot back. “Getting out helps sharpen other senses. I wouldn’t send you out alone, Rafe, but people who have lost their eyesight still do sports—they ski, surf, play golf. Life changes with the loss of a limb or hearing or sight, but it doesn’t have to end.”

“Mine should have.” The bitterness was back in his voice again. “Some of the guys in my unit who died that day had wives and kids. One had just got engaged.”

Alexa didn’t know what to say. He radiated guilt. She picked up her sandwich, but found she didn’t have much of an appetite anymore.

“I was the man in charge,” he added gloomily.

“Living here, safe and sound, you have no idea what it’s like in the thick of war. No idea what it’s like watching pals bleed to death because the enemy has you pinned down and there’s not a damned thing you can do.”

The apple slice Alexa had put in her mouth turned to sawdust. She knew exactly what it was like to lose a friend while she was in charge. Even now she could feel the shock of Bobby’s hand going cold in hers. But she couldn’t bring herself to share that with Rafe. One of them had to stay positive. “Only God is infallible,” she said, almost to herself.

“Funny, my general said the same thing the day he stopped by my cot in the field hospital.”

“What did you decide about the horseback ride?” Rising, Alexa collected their plates. “The weather’s near perfect, and my horses need exercising.”

Rafe unclenched his hand. “It’s probably foolish, but you’re right about the weather. I may as well take advantage of catching some rays. It won’t be long until storms start rolling up from the gulf.”

When they were ready to go, the dog headed toward the door with them. He stretched and yawned, then trotted up to nudge Rafe.

“You can’t go this time, Compadre,” Alexa said, stooping to rub his head.

“Why not?” Rafe asked.

“Park rules. Pets aren’t permitted on park trails, and if campers bring dogs, they have to stay in camp and be leashed at all times. Wild animals do roam the park.”

They headed out the door to the barn, Alexa’s hand on his elbow to guide him.

“Oh, that makes me feel better about riding blind,” Rafe grumbled.

Scoffing, Alexa gave his arm a friendly punch. “Not to worry, big guy. I’ll save you from the raccoons, jackrabbits and skunks.”

“Thanks,” he drawled. “I’m more concerned about the coyotes, javelina and black bear.”

“Hmm. I’ve ridden the lower trails almost daily for five years and have never seen a bear or javelina. You’re more likely to come across a two-legged beast who’s fleecing frightened illegals and sending them on their own through the park to hit the highway that leads to Alpine.”

“They could be more dangerous,” Rafe said thoughtfully.

“They’re scum,” Alexa burst out. “And they go to great lengths to avoid a law-abiding citizen who has a cell phone.”

“Okay, you’ve sold me. I’m counting on you and your phone to protect me.”

She smiled at that, but of course he couldn’t see. “Do you want a mare to ride, or a gelding?” she asked. “I have two mares, Gigi and Willow. And a gelding, Loki.”

“Are they all Andalusian?”

“Loki’s an American quarter horse. The mares are no specific pedigree. How about you take Loki and I’ll ride Willow today. I took Gigi out last time.”

“I’d offer to help saddle up, but…” Rafe followed Alexa into the barn then stood awkwardly, acting out of place.

Alexa looked at his steel-toed combat boots, camouflage pants with cargo pockets and khaki T-shirt. She was about to suggest a clothes-buying spree when his cell phone rang.

Rafe dug the phone out of a side pocket and answered. “Hi, Sierra,” he said after a moment. “Still can’t resist checking up on me, huh?”

Alexa could hear a higher pitched voice coming over the line.

“I guess I’m doing okay,” he said. “I helped train one of Alexa’s horses to change gait on command. She and I are about to head out on a trail ride in the park.”

He listened intently, all the while making faces, which drew a laugh out of Alexa.

“Yep, I said the same thing, Sierra.” He nodded. “Alexa promised it’ll be a cakewalk. What? She asked me not to call her Dr. Robinson. Sierra…there’s no one out here to worry about proprieties. Okay, you worry, I’m going riding.” He accepted the reins Alexa pressed into his right hand. “Gotta go,” he told his sister. “I’ll phone later and let you know how I did on the ride.” Clicking off, he tucked the phone away and gave the saddle a shake to test the cinch.

“I wasn’t eavesdropping on purpose,” Alexa said. “Is your sister concerned about our lack of formality?”

“It’s a Hispanic thing. Our mother was a stickler about using titles. A sign of respect, according to her.”

“Ah, so your mother was Hispanic and your dad Native American?” Alexa inquired casually as she dropped down the fender and stirrup she had hooked over Willow’s saddle horn while she cinched up the mare. “I didn’t think about cultural taboos. If it bothers you, please go ahead and call me doctor.”

“That’s Sierra’s hang-up. I take after my dad. We Native Americans are more laid-back. And Alexa is a pretty name. Unless you object, I’ll continue using it.”

Alexa felt the heat of a blush climb her neck. Shaking it off, she crooked a finger through both bridle rings and quickly led the horses out into a leaf-dappled, autumn afternoon. “Does anyone ever like their name? I hated mine. Kids at school called me Alex. They said my parents probably wanted a boy. I asked, but my mom insisted it’s short for Alexandra, which was my dad’s grandmother’s name. My first-grade teacher said it means to help, or defend. Maybe that’s why I became a doctor,” Alexa added, giving Rafe the barest assist into the saddle. He sat straight, although he seemed a tad uneasy.

“It’s been a long time since I’ve tossed a leg over a horse,” he said, as if reading Alexa’s thoughts. “Feels good.” He tested the stirrups for length and made sure Loki understood his rein signals.

Alexa swung up easily. “This pair of horses tends to want to gallop to the trail head. You may have to exert some pressure to hold Loki back to a trot.”

“If Loki is sure-footed and the ground’s fairly even, why don’t we try a short gallop?” Just being on a horse seemed to give Rafe a confidence Alexa hadn’t seen up to now.

“Your call,” she said. “It’s less than a half mile. And Willow can keep pace.”

Rafe gathered the reins in his left hand. His grin reminded Alexa of an emerging sunbeam. Then he loosened his grip, and like a shot, horse and rider bolted. Alexa almost didn’t catch up. And she was winded when she reached the tree line where Loki had slowed.

“Phew, are you all right?” She anxiously studied Rafe as she brought Willow back on her haunches less than a nose behind Loki’s tail.

“Are you kidding?” Rafe said. “I love feeling the wind in my face. Honestly, I never expected to ride like the wind again.”

Alexa couldn’t see behind the shades he wore, but his voice sounded slightly choked and she wouldn’t be at all surprised if Rafe had a tear in his eye. That humbled her.

“Quite a feat of trust,” she said, emotional herself. They entered the trail and rode under an arched canopy of old-growth trees. “I think loss of sight is the most difficult of all the five senses to lose.”

“I agree,” Rafe said. “A blind person is forced to rely on other people for so many things.” He grew silent for a moment. “There’s something else that bothers me. You know, for all the time we’re spending together, I have no idea what you look like, Alexa. Please, can you describe yourself for me?”

She blushed, flustered by his question. Did he care how she looked, or was he just curious? Best to take his request with a little humor. “I could tell you I’m a dead ringer for Cameron Diaz.”

“Who?”

“Come on. You weren’t injured that long ago. Soldiers have zillions of movies at their disposal.”

“You got me. Diaz is a babe. And you just made my point. Without sight I’m at your mercy.”

“Well, who can describe themselves accurately?” she said hotly. “It’s not easy.”

He slowed Loki. “I guess you’re right. I don’t know what I’d say other than I’m six foot tall and have black hair. It used to be military short, but it’s probably shaggy now.” He ran a hand through his thick, black curls, then rested it back on the pommel. “This is where you reel off your stats.”

Before Alexa could say anything, a pair of teacup-sized birds calling jay, jay, jay swept out of a tree, startling the horses. Beside her, Loki reared and came down stiff-legged. Willow bolted, running the length of two football fields before Alexa regained control. By that point the trail had made a horseshoe turn back toward the ranch and Alexa lost sight of Rafe.

Guiding the mare around, she galloped back to where a still-nervous Loki tossed his head and crow-hopped first to one side of the trail, then the other. But Rafe had him in check. “What happened?” Rafe asked. “I heard your horse take off running, and I didn’t know if she’d thrown you or not.”

“Blue jays happened. When Loki was a colt, one dive-bombed him. To this day their noisy chatter is enough to send him off. I’m sorry. I should have warned you. But you handled him well, Rafe. Willow surprised me. Normally she’s unflappable.”

Rafe’s expression had darkened with concern.

“Shall we head on?” Alexa proposed. “This trail makes a big U back to within yards of where we started. We’re about at the halfway point.”

“What if you had been bucked off when the mare spooked?” Rafe demanded, his voice angry.

“I’m fine, Rafe,” Alexa said soothingly.

Rafe sliced a hand through the air. “Don’t patronize me. You could’ve gotten hurt bad, and what in the devil could I have done about it?”

“Stop borrowing trouble,” Alexa snapped. “This trail is wide and flat. We’ll have a nice, relaxing ride back to the ranch.”

“I didn’t see the jays—I didn’t know what the hell happened,” Rafe insisted. “For all I knew you could’ve been dragged off by a bear.”

Rafe was overdramatizing and Alexa grew impatient. Then, she tried putting herself in his shoes. Yes, he was a big, strong man, a former soldier. But he was living in a dark, scary world. “Rafe, it really is rare to encounter any predators on these trails. Bear, mountain cats—they all live higher in the mountains. You were enjoying our ride. Don’t worry about something that will likely never happen. Don’t let it stop you from venturing out of your comfort zone.”

“Are you really a shrink and Sierra didn’t tell me?”

“Sorry if I sound preachy. I only wanted to reassure you. There’s no need for you to act testy.” Alexa touched Willow’s flank and started off along the trail.

He caught up to her. “If I’m testy, maybe it’s because you took away the pills that made me more tractable.”

“Tractable?” Alexa raised her voice. “They made you catatonic. Tell me you don’t like feeling…emotions,” she said, groping for words. “Even if they’re painful.”

He rode along in silence for a minute, massaging the back of his neck with his free hand. “If honesty is what you want, then yes and no. I don’t like…” It took Rafe a long time to search for the word he wanted. “Remembering.”

Alexa could sympathize. For months or more after Bobby’s death she would have loved to block the hurtful, pain-filled memories with a pill. How could she admit to Rafe that she still needed herb teas and mineral soaks to help her sleep most nights? But that was a burden she couldn’t share. “Pills that turn you into a mechanical man aren’t the answer. That kind of pain doesn’t go away so easily, Rafe, it only gets buried deeper.”

“Says you.”

“Says me!”

“Is that why you chose to be an osteopath? Because MDs are too free handing out pills?”

“I became an osteopath because I graduated high school at fifteen and medical schools had age restrictions for entry.”

“You graduated high school at fifteen?” Rafe whistled. “You must be a genius.”

“Gifted is today’s term.” Alexa felt a pang of guilt. She hadn’t been completely honest with Rafe. In fact, she had applied to medical school and been accepted, then…life changed.