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Meditation 2

God in the Shadows

God said, “This is the sign of the covenant that I make between me and you and every living creature that is with you, for all future generations: I have set my bow in the clouds, and it shall be a sign of the covenant between me and the earth.”

—Genesis 9:12–13

As the axis of the earth shifts, we begin to see longer shadows at day’s end; shadows that bespeak the coming of shorter days and longer nights. Sometimes long nights can be unnerving, frightening. Light and dark have often been metaphors for good and evil—Jesus’s followers are called the children of light, whereas Satan’s minions are called children of darkness.⁵

It is, frankly, sometimes hard to see the light of God when the dark shadows of the world creep about us. I will not use this space to unfold some thoughts on the “whys” around the world’s darkness; I will circle back to that later. But for now, no one could argue that we do not have great darkness, great evil, in the world.

The story of Noah is known to every Christian from Vacation Bible School age to adulthood. We tend to focus on all the happy parts of the story—cute animals, two by two, strutting into the protective ark with a small band of family members. We talk about the flood, but we usually do not bring up the fact that the 150 days of rain that flooded the face of the known earth was sent to wash away the evil of the world—that humans and animals were perishing in those flood waters. No, we lean in not to those unsavory parts of this story, but to the protection of God, the resting of the ark on Mount Ararat, the dove returning with an olive leaf as if to announce the good news that the waters were receding. And then, of course, there is the rainbow . . . God’s promise that flood waters will not be used to cleanse the earth again.

At a distance, it is a good story—almost a fun story. Untold pounds of construction paper and crayons have been used by children to create happy memories about a God who protected Noah and the animals, and who protects us as well. But do we always feel protected? Do you? Do we, as God’s children, wrestle with different kinds of darkness and wish sometimes that God would wipe away the evil in the world once more? I confess I do.

Many years ago, I was at a church convention in Shreveport, Louisiana, when I was called by a social worker friend to the hospital bed of a child who was facing certain death. I did not know the child, but he had been assigned to my friend and her care after he had been mercilessly beaten to the verge of death by his foster care father. She told me all of this before I came into the room, so I had a moment or two to digest it, but the moment I came in—the moment I saw that pitiful, swollen, bruised and frail little body, surrounded by weeping nurses and caretakers—my heart just broke . . . it broke to pieces.

I was told there was no chance that this child would live, but they wanted me to baptize him before they turned off any life support. We gathered our composure and began the service. Everyone was in prayer for this toddler. To this day, I will remember as I poured a bit of baptismal water on the forehead of that child, how one stream of the water ran down to the bridge of his nose, then to his closed eyelid and down his cheek—almost like a tear. We all saw it, and we all began to weep yet again. We prayed again, we hugged, but I left that hospital room utterly desolate.

As I came out to my car, I could hardly think clearly. A huge thunderstorm began; rain fell in thick sheets as I drove back to my hotel. It was raining so hard it was almost difficult to drive. As I made my way through the sheets of water, I began to weep again as I thought of that child. I confess, I was angry that our loving God could allow those kinds of things to happen in our world. Could God not have wiped out the abuser before he laid one hand on that child? I recall hitting the palms of my hands against the steering wheel and saying out loud, “Why, Lord? Why?”

I was truly at my wit’s end. Please do not think I am trying to diminish one iota the horrible scene that still haunts me to this day, but after a while the rains began to subside. My car actually reached the top of a hill from which I had a fairly clear view of the entire downtown area and there—through my own tear-filled eyes—I saw a rainbow, a rainbow that literally stretched from one end of the city to the other. It remained in the sky through the rest of my drive. When I got back to my hotel, I told my wife about it and we pulled back the window blinds of our room. The rain had stopped and the rainbow was still there.

If I am honest, I do not know fully what all of that means; but I will take it for what it is worth. God sends beautiful sunsets over hospice wards, sunrises over battlefields, and rainbows—perhaps with the hope that they will help mend our ways, or at the very least speak to our broken hearts; a reminder that even when the long shadows of darkness stretch over us, God is there.

A New Leaf

Read the paper, turn on the news, walk the streets of most cities, suburbs, and small towns—it is almost easy to believe that darkness is winning. But perhaps it is worth stepping back and looking where God might show up—even in dark places where least expected. Look for the rainbows.

A Prayer

Sometimes, Lord, it is hard to believe.

I know, in my heart, You are good;

I know the great stories of our faith that tell how

You watched over

and rescued Your children from danger and evil.

But when the long shadows creep over me,

it is hard to see anything but darkness,

and I wonder where You are . . . if You are . . . at all.

Give me faith Lord, to see when I am blinded by that

darkness.

Give me light Lord, when evil seems to be at every turn.

Give me hope Lord, to trust and believe that even

when all

seems lost,

You are still there.

God, please . . . please send me rainbows.

Amen.

5 See Ephesians 5:8, “For once you were darkness, but now in the Lord you are light. Live as children of light” and 1 Thessalonians 5:5, “for you are all children of light and children of the day; we are not of the night or of darkness.”