Читать книгу A Mother's Promise - Ruth Scofield - Страница 10

Katherine Barge, the woman Lisa had called “aunt” all her life, was really her mother’s cousin. She and her husband, Mark, lived in a forty-year-old ranch-style house in Kansas City. They’d been the only ones Lisa’s mother, Betty, could turn to for any kind of help during Lisa’s troubled youth, and they’d grudgingly given Lisa a home for a while. But Katherine’s help always carried a heavy dose of look-at-all-I’ve-done-for-you grievances and warnings of dire consequences to pay if Betty didn’t find some backbone to cope with life.

Her mother never had, Lisa admitted.

Then it became “if Lisa doesn’t mend her ways…” Katherine also berated Betty’s weakness when it came to disciplining her daughter.

Katherine enumerated Betty’s failings over supper almost every night. If Betty hadn’t chosen to marry that no-good lowlife, Rick—against her very sound advice, Katherine usually included—then she wouldn’t find herself in such a bind now. If Betty had stood up to that bully, she wouldn’t have sustained the black eyes or broken arms or been abandoned. If Betty would only snap out of this so-called depression and get a job, then she could make it on her own.

Katherine’s list stretched to include Lisa. Her teenage transgressions piled higher as the months dragged out. She didn’t clean the kitchen properly. Her skirts and her shorts were too short, her hair was worn too wild. She took forever at her homework, keeping the household up late. And if she continued to hang out with that crazy wild kid down the street, she’d find trouble.

What Katherine complained of most was the way the boys looked at Lisa.

Lisa’s answer was to make herself less and less visible at home and to find attention elsewhere. When the boys found her attractive, she responded with a slow sexy smile she’d learned from the movies.

Eventually, Lisa and her mom found an apartment of their own, but life did not improve. With her mother’s spotty work record and frequent inability to cope, Lisa grew up fast. She learned to juggle their income and bills, her schoolwork, her after-school job, the household and her mom—until Betty finally re-married and moved to Florida.

At seventeen, Lisa had been on her own. Emotionally, she still was on her own, she thought now as she waited at Aunt Katherine’s door. On her own again except for the assurance that the Lord was with her. But that was so new…she didn’t really know…

The front door opened a crack. Katherine’s lined face hardened the moment she spotted Lisa. “Oh. It’s you. Might’ve known.”

Lisa despised the fact she’d fulfilled every horrible prediction Aunt Katherine had hurled at her over the years. She had no excuses, but she’d worked diligently to turn her life around this past year.

Behind Katherine, the TV spouted the nightly news and weather. The predicted cold front already made the temperature feel icy. They’d lost the last remnant of summer, Lisa guessed. Like her. She had nothing of her youth left, and only one bright star in her future.

“Yeah, it’s me.”

“What are you doing here at this time of night, Lisa? Past your curfew? I’m about ready for bed.”

“You know why…”

“Who is it, Kate?” Uncle Mark called as he came from the back of the house.

Lisa’s fingers tightened on her shoulder purse as she held Katherine’s severe gaze. “May I come in, Aunt Katherine?”

“She’s asleep,” Katherine snapped. “You can’t disturb her.”

“I won’t, I promise. I’ll only look at her.”

“You’re outside your visiting hours, girl. You weren’t supposed to come until Sunday.”

“I know that. Please?” Lisa despised begging, but swallowed her pride. She’d be on her knees if it would help her cause. “Please, Aunt Katherine. I can’t wait till Sunday. It’s been months—”

“Let her in, Kate.” Mark’s commanding tone had an underlying note of compassion.

Lisa held her breath. She didn’t dare acknowledge Mark’s help.

Katherine’s lips thinned, but after flashing Mark an enraged glare, she swung the door wide. “All right. But only for a minute, y’hear? If you make any trouble, then don’t expect to come here on Sunday. Now don’t you dare wake the child. She’s got nursery school in the morning.”

“She does?” Lisa stepped inside, so eager that she barely kept herself from racing to the tiny back bedroom where she’d stayed with her mother. “Oh. I didn’t know…you didn’t tell me…”

The house smelled the same—of strong disinfectant and furniture polish. A fast glimpse of the hall bathroom as she passed showed the same bowl of plastic flowers she remembered on the vanity. Only a foam ball on the floor indicated a change in her aunt’s routine.

Katherine followed close on her heels, still hissing a protest. “This isn’t wise, Lisa. If Mrs. Braddock hears about this…”

Mention of her parole officer was a threat Lisa expected.

“Mrs. Braddock would understand.” She hoped. “She has grandchildren…”

Tiptoeing, Lisa crept to the side of the white daybed that had replaced the old double bed she recalled. A small form barely raised the blanket.

Her breathing grew shallow as she gazed at her daughter. Cecily lay on her side, her tiny palm under her cheek, her mouth pink and sweetly bowed. Light-brown curls covered the little girl’s head, and Lisa tentatively brushed them with a butterfly touch. She yearned to hold her, to kiss those plump cheeks. To hear the music of her giggles and sing the duck song Cecily had loved just before they were parted.

What was her favorite song now? Did she still hate carrots? She’d grown, Lisa realized. Her limbs were longer. How tall was she now? Could she skip? Lisa could remember her little girl trying to get both feet to cooperate.

Had she forgotten her mother?

“Hi, baby,” she whispered, stroking one tiny hand.

Fierce possessiveness gripped Lisa’s heart, while silent tears gathered. She didn’t even try to stop their slide down her cheeks. Cecily was her one bright star. Lisa would do whatever she had to to get her daughter back. To protect her…

“Mommy’s here. I came to see you as soon as I could.” She was three years old, yet Cecily’s skin still felt baby-soft.

“Your five minutes are up,” Katherine said.

Lisa continued to gaze at her daughter. Hers. Not Katherine’s.

Not Rudy’s, either, in spite of the biological truth. But saddling Cecily with that knowledge wasn’t in Lisa’s plans. Getting involved with Rudy was her sin, not her daughter’s, and she’d paid dearly with humiliation and total disillusionment. At her age, too, when it was expected she’d have gained some smarts. She’d been so stupid.

Only her acceptance of God’s forgiveness had restored anything left of hope for her.

Lisa couldn’t lay the piece of garbage that Rudy was on Cecily and expect her to grow up whole, and with any self-confidence. Lisa had suffered that kind of childhood—she wouldn’t inflict it on her own daughter. And Rudy didn’t want them, a truth that had come down on her like an ancient burial stone at the time.

Oddly enough, she now thanked God for Rudy’s disinterest. Growing up without a father wasn’t the worst of sins, as she knew. Plenty of kids were raised by only one parent. She was ready to accept that the blame and blessing of Cecily’s birth was hers alone.

Only a few months ago, while in Beth Anne’s company, Lisa had vowed to God that if He’d only help her to be free of her past, she’d be the best mother to Cecily she could. She’d live her life on that narrow, sin-free path that the Bible described could be hers through Jesus, and she would teach Cecily His ways.

Now she had to prove it. To the courts. To Aunt Katherine. To herself. And to God, if she expected Him to help her.

“That’s enough,” Katherine hissed, hauling Lisa’s dreams out of the clouds. The older woman’s fingers pinched her upper arm, urging her from the room.

Giving Cecily one last glance, Lisa bit her lip. Every cell in her body protested leaving Cecily, but if she hoped to win back the right to raise her child, she had to cooperate now. She’d already pushed her luck for tonight.

“Thank you,” she murmured past the emotion that clogged her throat. She moved slowly out of the tiny bedroom and down the hall toward the living room.

“You should be grateful,” Aunt Katherine said with a sniff. “You’re lucky we’ve agreed to care for Cecily.”

“I am, Aunt Katherine. Really.” At least she knew where Cecily was, and that the child was safe and well looked after. Some of the women she’d met while serving her sentence had children in foster homes and no hope of getting them back.

“Humph… With your irresponsible behavior, I’m surprised the court didn’t step in and take her away from you altogether. And if you start that wild life—”

“That’s in the past, Aunt Katherine. I’ve changed. I’m working hard, taking all the overtime I can get at the restaurant to save money, and keeping my nose clean. Soon I’ll have enough to make a home for Cecily again. Uncle Fred can tell you.”

“Oh, Fred.” Katherine made a brushing motion as if to rid herself of a disgusting piece of lint. “What does he know? He’s just like your mother, good for nothing but partying on a Saturday night. A weak, sorry excuse of a man.”

“Well, that’s not—” Lisa caught herself. Arguing with Aunt Katherine would only antagonize her further. And there was a glimmer of truth in the accusations. But at least Uncle Fred had offered Lisa a place to live in his tiny ramshackle house until she could get on her feet. Until she could make a home for Cecily again. “Uncle Fred’s okay.”

“Still rebellious, aren’t you?”

“No, really… I have changed. I won’t make any more stupid moves.”

“Humph! Your coming here tonight doesn’t exactly show intelligence, now does it? And you’re out running the roads past your curfew. That hasn’t changed.”

“I couldn’t help myself this time, Aunt Katherine. I had to see Cecily. I’m leaving now. I’ll go straight home, I promise. I’ll be home in twenty minutes.”

“Yeah, well, I’ve heard that one before. Excuses, always excuses. From your mother and from you. Your mother couldn’t hold a job because she was always sick. You—you’re so smart that you got yourself mixed up with a married man who gave you a child, and then landed you in jail. What kind of a mother is that for Cecily? One that breaks the law! I have half a mind to call Mrs. Braddock.”

Almost out of the door, Lisa turned abruptly. She’d been home for less than a week and didn’t know her parole officer that well. “Please, Aunt Katherine…”

Catching a glimpse of triumph in Katherine’s gaze, she felt her stomach sink. Begging didn’t always help, she’d discovered.

Lisa straightened her back and lifted her chin. She was through with begging—from anyone. She was through taking any more guff, too. She was the first to admit she’d made some half-witted mistakes in judging the men in her life, but that was in the past. Beth Anne had assured her that the Lord’s forgiveness and grace was there for her, it was for anyone—a promise she clung to as her lifeline out of a hellish situation.

“You won’t have to, Aunt Katherine,” she said, determined to tell the unvarnished truth whenever it was called for, and take any knocks that came her way. “Because I’ll tell her about this myself. I’m due to see her tomorrow, and I’ll explain about coming.”

Katherine’s blue eyes glinted like granite. “You’d better get rid of that chip you carry on your shoulder, my girl, or you won’t have any friends left to listen to you whine. And you just may lose your rights to see Cecily again until the child is grown.”

This time, Katherine’s threat held a bite. Her heart in her throat, Lisa took half a step forward, facing the other woman toe to toe. “What do you mean?”

“I mean I’ve consulted a lawyer about adopting Cecily.”

“You can’t do that, Aunt Katherine! I don’t intend to give Cecily up.”

“You’re an unfit mother! I think that will speak in the court system.”

Lisa gritted her teeth to prevent herself from saying something she’d regret. “I never once neglected Cecily, ever,” she said at last. “I made some bad choices about…about her father, that’s true, but I thought— Never mind. I love Cecily with my last breath. I won’t sign any such papers.”

“That still might not affect what a judge decides,” Katherine warned, a gleeful note in her voice.

“My life is different now.” Lisa prayed her fear wouldn’t rob her of determination to put her old ways behind her. She had changed, but she hadn’t had much time on her side to prove it. “Any judge will take that into account.”

“We’ll see, won’t we? We’ll just see.”

Those words resounded in Lisa’s ears all the way home. A threat. Rage and a sense of betrayal made her seethe. What a hard case Aunt Katherine could be. Well, she’d show her…she’d show everybody.

But in her own way, at least Aunt Katherine cared about Cecily. She would take good care of her.

Lisa shook her head to dispel her irritations. To get her daughter back, she had to look out for herself, to plan and save, to be prepared and strong. Not like before.

Lord have mercy, she’d been so gullible… At her age, too. She’d been long past the time in life when one could label such dewy-eyed trust as youthful foolishness.

Never again.

If only she could find Rudy, that double-dealing, lying two-headed snake. If she could track him down, she’d personally throttle him until his face went purple. Then she’d kick him until he couldn’t sit and truss him up like a prize deer, tie him atop the truck, and parade him all the way to the police department.

She nosed the old truck onto the gravel space that Uncle Fred used as a parking spot, picturing how silly and satisfying such a sight would be. She even felt a chuckle bubbling up at the thought. Then she sighed. Beth Anne and everyone else would say she should let the police handle Rudy. Or point out the Lord’s directive, “Revenge is mine…”

“I can’t do that just yet, Lord,” she muttered aloud. “I have to know that skunk is going to pay for what he’s done.”

If she ever got Rudy in her sights again, she’d go after him with everything she had in her power, and she didn’t envision a pretty outcome. Over the last twenty months, a number of delightful ideas had come her way. Dumping a bucket of red paint all over him as he slept was a favorite. Or hot tar…yeah, she liked that old-fashioned way of dealing with deceivers. Tar and feathers. She’d use an old feather boa or two, bright red…

What would really please her would be to see him prosecuted for his embezzlement, as she had been. But as far as she knew, he was sunning himself alongside his “poor, dying wife” somewhere on a Caribbean beach, untouchable.

Uncle Fred, white-haired and paunchy, lay sprawled across the couch listening to the late news, when she entered the small cottage-style house. The phone rang as she closed the door.

“It’s for you, Lisa.” Uncle Fred yawned widely and handed her the old-fashioned rotary phone.

“Oh? Who is it?”

“Don’t know. Same guy who called thirty minutes ago.”

Someone checking up on her? Already? Had Aunt Katherine made a complaint against her after all? She was only thirty minutes late.

“Hello?” She perched on the sagging edge of the only chair in the tiny living room.

“Hi. Lisa?”

“Yeah?”

“Oh. Glad you’re home. This is Ethan Vale.”

“Ethan? Oh, hi.” What did he want?

At Uncle Fred’s raised brows, she waved him away. He punched the TV’s off button, then left the room, heading toward the kitchen for his usual bedtime snack of crackers and milk.

“Beth Anne asked me to call to make sure you got home all right. And she wants to know if you’d like a ride to the Bible Study at Jimmy’s house. That came up after you left, I guess. We’re starting tomorrow night.”

“Who else will be there?”

“Not too sure. Cindy and Pam, probably. Me and Jimmy. We can arrange a ride for you, if you need one. Beth Anne said you might.”

Another gathering so soon? And Lisa wasn’t too keen on Bible Study. It sounded dry. All that stuff about people dead thousands of years? What would their lives have to do with hers? Up until now, she’d depended on Beth Anne to show her the Scriptures she could apply to her life.

What do you have to lose but ignorance?

The small urging came gliding through her thoughts. She’d had more of the same lately, and she found it a bit spooky sometimes. But Beth Anne thought it perfectly natural in a believer.

“Okay.” The sudden acceptance popped out of her mouth before she realized it. “I work later on Fridays. I need to get stuff ready for the evening shift. If someone can pick me up at the restaurant where I work, I’ll come. Uncle Fred is usually out on weekends, so I don’t have his car.”

“Great. I’ll make sure to be there on time.”

He would? If Ethan Vale thought this was some kind of date, then he had a rude awakening. No dating for her now or in the future, and even if there were, she sure wouldn’t choose a self-absorbed easy charmer like Ethan Vale. She was through with men. Totally, forever through with men. Romance didn’t work in her life, she’d painfully discovered. Besides, all the good men were taken.

But…if Ethan wanted to put himself out to help her, why should she care? She’d let him. His personal interest would be short-lived, anyway, because as soon as he found out about her recent troubles, he’d run scared. Men did that.

Meanwhile, she could use the promise of her new associations to impress her parole officer.

“Suit yourself.”

In the background, she suddenly heard the wail of a small child. “Daddy…”

“Uh-oh, gotta go. See you tomorrow night.”

The phone line clicked. He’d hung up.

So Ethan was a parent, too. What was his story?

It didn’t matter. She set the phone back on the scratched mahogany end table, wondering how Ethan expected to pick her up from her place of work when she hadn’t told him where to come. And how had he known she’d need a ride? What had Beth Anne told him?