Читать книгу In God's Own Time - Ruth Scofield - Страница 11

Meg sucked in air, wondering if the fragrance of the honeysuckle vines resting against the old board fence next to her car could cause hallucinations. Surely she hadn’t heard right.

“Um, Lissa…”

“Please, Aunt Meg, just listen. Please? I’m seriously serious.”

“Well, I—” She swallowed hard.

“You said you like Daddy, didn’t you? You did say it! You think he’s really special, remember?”

“Yes, I do think he’s special, and yes, I like him very much.” Meg’s heart raced at the vast understatement. If only Lissa knew…“But, Lissa, there’s a lot more to marriage than merely liking each other.”

“But that’s a start, isn’t it? Dad likes you, too. He was all excited when he found out you were coming home. I could tell.”

Kelsey excited about her homecoming? Her mouth went dry as her mind whirled with the thought.

“And you like us kids, don’t you?” Lissa nudged.

“Oh, I do…yes, indeed I do. But Lissa—” Her mind tumbled over what to say. “I think Thad and Phillip might not return the regard. And Heather…”

“Don’t worry about Thad and Phillip, Aunt Meg. They’ll love you just as much as Aimee and I do, once they get to know you better.”

Aimee skidded to a stop in front of them, out of breath and flushed. “Did you ask her?”

“Aimee! What are you doing here?” Lissa questioned in an urgent whisper. “I told you to keep the rest of the family busy. Where’s Dad?”

“Keep your shorts on, will ya?” Aimee hissed back. “The boys went to the barn, and Dad said he had some calls to make. Heather’s playing with her new doll we bought today. That’ll keep her busy till bedtime. Anyway, how about it, Aunt Meg?”

Meg studied the eager young faces in the growing dusk. She had the silliest feeling of wanting to laugh and cry at the same time, remembering her own earnestness at their age. But sometimes a girl of a certain age could be just as earnest about something completely different a week later. “You girls can’t be, um—”

“Uh-huh, yes, we are. Majorly serious,” Aimee insisted.

“You don’t want to marry anybody else, do you?” Lissa asked in a suddenly alarmed tone. “I mean, Aunt Audrey said you were dating that English guy, but—”

“Well, no. No, I don’t plan on marrying anyone.”

“Whew! I thought for a minute—” Lissa sighed.

“Well?” Aimee pushed. “What do you think? Isn’t it a great idea?”

“I don’t think you know what you’re asking,” Meg began slowly, staving off hysterical laughter with gritty determination. “You can’t just ask someone to marry your dad out of the blue. He has to do that for himself.”

“But we want you to be our new mother, Aunt Meg,” Aimee pleaded. “And it isn’t out of the blue. We’ve been thinking about it for a long time. You were Mom’s best friend and she wouldn’t mind. Honestly. And Dad needs you, too.”

“Aunt Meg doesn’t think the boys like her,” Lissa said.

“But they just don’t know you very well, not like we do. And I know Heather can be a pain sometimes.” Aimee made a face, admitting, “She’s spoiled.”

Then Aimee’s face brightened, her brown eyes glimmered with a new thought. “That should tell you how much we all need you, Aunt Meg. You can unspoil Heather for us. And if you marry Dad, you can move back to Missouri! You want to, don’t you?”

Meg nearly gurgled her laughter. “I’m not so sure about that one.”

“Aunt Meg, you’re absolutely, positively the only right woman to marry Dad,” Lissa said in a no-nonsense tone. “Please, please, just think about it.”

“Why do you say that, Lissa? What makes you think I’d make your dad a good wife? And mother for you all?”

“Because Aimee and I prayed for you, don’t you see? The minute we heard you were coming home, we went to The Boss. We asked Him for you. I mean…Aimee and I don’t want that Linda Burroughs, for heaven’s sake. If Dad married her, everybody would be seriously miserable.” She tucked in her chin and shook her head. “I mean seriously miserable.”

“Your dad might not think so” Meg suddenly felt exhausted. Her emotions had run amok all day and in the last few moments they’d been through hoops. She didn’t know whether to laugh or cry.

She had to consider that Kelsey might be in love with Linda. Though he hadn’t said anything or even hinted at it. But then why would he? And when would he have had time?

“Dad doesn’t want her either, really,” Lissa assured. “It’s just that she keeps calling him and stuff like that.”

“Besides,” Aimee airily enthused, “now you’re home, there’s no reason for him to go out with her anymore.”

From the house’s open windows she heard a telephone ring. Insistently. Where was Kelsey? He’d gone inside to make calls, Aimee had said. Yet no one answered, and although Meg couldn’t hear what the answering machine said, she heard the low murmur of Kelsey’s recorded voice.

Her nerves went on overload. Perhaps one of his calls was to Linda Just maybe he’d waited for her to leave to speak to the woman who was now in his life.

“I really have to go, girls.” Opening the car door, she slid into the seat. “My mother will be in a tizzy if I’m not there soon.”

“You’ll think about it, won’t you, Aunt Meg?” Lissa begged.

“Please?” asked Aimee.

“Umm…” was all she could manage. How could she not think about Lissa and Aimee’s wild, improbable proposal?

Think? Or dream? And wonder what Kelsey wanted, or who?

Meg made her escape quickly, feeling if she remained one minute longer she’d be signed on the dotted line of a marriage contract—even a motherhood contract—before she could breathe out the words I love you.

She just wished Kelsey’s daughters weren’t so completely charming. Her enchantment with the kids only added to the fanciful possibilities her overworked longings had already created. Never mind the drawback of needing to win over the boys; it wouldn’t keep her dreams from soaring.

Sleep? Not much of it tonight, Meg suspected.

As the compact’s taillights disappeared down the drive, Kelsey remained still as a statue near the dark living room window. He hadn’t meant to eavesdrop, hadn’t intended to horn in on his daughters’ adolescent desire to talk with a mother figure.

He just hadn’t figured on his children asking Meg to be their mother.

He felt caught between sheer dumb shock and the need for bellyaching laughter. He’d had no idea his children wanted another woman in their lives so much. But not just any woman, he reminded himself. Meg.

He did know they didn’t much care for Linda, though. But how had they become so desperate about it all?

Had he been so casual in accepting Linda’s invitations that he hadn’t given the entire matter his proper attention? He’d only thought of Linda as another lonely adult looking beyond their children for occasional company. He’d never felt romantic toward Linda, never indicated he had anything but friendship on his mind. The question of marriage had never come up. Or even hinted at, from his end of things.

His two oldest children astonished him. Imagine, suggesting to Meg…! Telling her not only of their own need, but his. Asking…

And then he did imagine. Meg!

His Meg, cousin by marriage, pretty and sweet-tempered in a way that was seldom seen in this day and age. Yet a nineties woman for all that, smartly intelligent, efficient and seemingly tireless.

It hit him somewhere between his heart and his gut.

How impossible was it? His kids needed a mother, all right, all five of them. A full-time ever-present big-hearted woman. Who better than Meg? Meg, whom he knew, liked—even loved as a friend.

He wouldn’t give a thought to how badly he needed a wife. Someone to offer warmth and love. Some nights—Well, it was just as well he didn’t dwell on how empty he sometimes felt, how lonely his bed. But he wasn’t about to marry just anyone in order to fill it.

As needy as his body sometimes felt, Kelsey couldn’t bring himself to engage in a casual affair, either. He didn’t want to, couldn’t think of making love in a careless, meaningless fashion with someone who meant little to him—something he’d be ashamed for his kids to know.

But Meg Lawrence wasn’t just anybody. She was…

Well, she was Meg!

Kelsey made a turn around the darkened room before finally lowering himself into the big chair. He leaned his head back, his thoughts and emotions in a swirl.

Dee Dee had been the love of his youth, and he wasn’t ready to leave her memory behind yet. Or ever.

Besides that, any woman who came into his life would have to realize he was already on overflow as he tried to balance his and his children’s lives right now. Who—what woman in her right mind—would want to marry him with five little rowdies to curtail?

And what would she get out of it? His affection? He wasn’t sure, other than his own physical needs, if he had any love left to offer a woman.

But Meg would know all that without any explanation, his heart murmured. She had been so much a part of them all those first years. Asking Meg to marry him would be like asking a part of himself to come home.

Stunned at that sudden thought, he rose to pace the room once more. The children’s voices drifted to him through the open windows; he should call them in to bed. Instead, he leaned on the window sash and listened to the night sounds, wondering about the new thoughts and growing excitement noting through his system.

Slow down, he told himself. Just because Lissa and Aimee want it to happen doesn’t mean it will. Or should.

He had to think about this logically. Why would Meg even consider giving up her career? A highly successful one, according to Audrey Lawrence. If Audrey could be entirely believed, Meg was the star player in her firm. Audrey exaggerated sometimes, but still—

Could he ask Meg to give that up? Where would he find the unmitigated gall?

He circled the room again, picking up and putting down an industry magazine on raising beef cattle, finally turned on the corner lamp over his computer, knowing he had to update his files, stared at the pile of unfolded laundry on the couch and once more listened to the distant voices of his children. He should urge them to bed soon.

Yet he couldn’t bring himself to rob them of all their childhood; he’d let them stay up a little longer and sleep late tomorrow. Even though he couldn’t

He’d have to leave Lissa in charge again while he worked. He’d tried part-time housekeepers, which was all he could afford. At the beginning of the summer he’d let go of the last one.

Yes, and the house showed constant neglect, with the laundry always behind, and too many meals of hot dogs, macaroni and cheese, and frozen pizza. And Lissa and Aimee had less freedom to be teens all the time. Though he thought he could hold off his worry about Aimee a little while longer, Lissa already talked of the school’s homecoming dance this fall, and he hadn’t a clue how to parent a girl child who’d reached the age of raging hormones and daily temptations.

Furthermore the house needed a coat of paint, his south fence should’ve been replaced last year, and Thad had barely passed fifth grade math. He hadn’t the time to coach him no matter how he stretched his day. Phillip…he felt decidedly guilty about his second son; Phillip was so quiet most of the time he was scarcely noticed. That couldn’t be good.

The children cried out for a mother. He wanted a wife.

The more Kelsey tried to shake the idea of asking Meg to marry him, to come and make harmony from his chaotic days, to share with him the raising of his needful children, the more the idea mushroomed.

And he knew he’d likely get little rest until he had an answer from Meg.

He finally rang the back door cowbell, three shakes, signaling the kids that it was bedtime, and set his mind to catch up with his accounting before midnight.

But he knew he was going to do it. Ask Meg.

Lord, where do I find the courage? he prayed.

He laughed, suddenly, a little harshly. Why he even bothered the Lord, Kelsey didn’t know. God had better things to do than to listen to Kelsey’s grumbles or hopes and desires. He’d found that out a long time ago. He’d have to figure out where to find courage on his own.

But where?

On Saturday, Jack, Kathy and their kids left. Meg had enjoyed their company, enjoyed her brother’s banter and her sister-in-law’s practical approach to Audrey’s sometimes unreasonable demands, but she understood their need to return home.

Audrey saved her obvious relief at their leaving until the last goodbye had been waved.

“How wonderful to have a little peace and quiet restored,” she uttered, sinking into her favorite wing chair. “I just don’t know how much longer I could have stood the daily racket.”

“Now, Mom, you said yourself you enjoyed teaching Sara and Andy how to play those simple piano songs. And you liked having Jack hovering about.”

“Yes, but children are so tiring nonetheless.”

Meg grinned at her mother as she fluffed up a cross-stitched pillow. “And you thrive on telling them stories of when you were their age, and about Jack and me.”

“I suppose. But they’re so hard on my antiques.”

“Think of it as giving your furniture more character,” Meg teased, picking up a dust cloth. “Three generations on Grandma Hicks’s dining chairs becoming four.”

“Sara did show a remarkable interest in my old china, didn’t she? And the cut glass bowls from Aunt Katherine.”

“Yep.” Meg held one of her mother’s favorite china figurines up to the light, dusting it lightly. She’d seen dozens of collections in England and had added to her mother’s each Christmas. “You might just have found your next heir to the family treasures, Mom.”

“I guess I should think about it.” Audrey rose and gazed tenderly at the things in her curio cabinet. “What with my weak heart, I should think about a will, too. To decide what Sara might want and little Andrew. I don’t suppose you’ll ever have children now.”

A quick sharp jab invaded Meg’s dreamy state. Why couldn’t she? Thirty-two wasn’t too old.

Thirty-two. How long was she going to wait before putting that dream forever on the shelf? If she’d wanted only a child, she could’ve married Clive.

She’d been steadfastly refusing to think about the discussion with Lissa and Aimee the whole morning. Refusing to want what they’d offered. Or rather, overriding the surge of hope it gave her. It wasn’t…wise…to entertain such hope. Her heart might prove to be more fragile than her mother’s.

Meg carefully replaced all the figurines in the curio cabinet, closed the door, folded the dust cloth and turned her teasing back on high.

“Weak heart, phooey Dr Collins says you’re stronger than you know, if you’ll only give up the invalid act. You just need to eat properly and get more exercise.”

“Oh, Dr. Collins. He doesn’t know everything,” Audrey said with a sniff. She pointed to a figurine on a corner table. “Don’t miss that one, Meg.”

“Don’t avoid the issue, Mom.”

“Oh, exercise.” Her mother dismissed the thought with a wave of her hand. “I can’t imagine myself joining one of those public gym clubs.”

“Well, think of joining the walking club, then. I hear there’s a group of older people from the various churches that make the half-mile circle around the downtown shops every morning,” she said, reminding her mother of the growing popularity of the activity. “Then they have morning coffee together.

“Some of those people even make the round four or five times. Paul Lumbar—” Meg casually threw in the name of the handsome older man all the single church women over fifty had been buzzing about lately “—mentioned it the other day when he called.”

“Mmm…Well, yes, it was nice of Paul to call. Perhaps I might give it some thought when I regain my strength.”

“You do that, Mom.” Meg changed the subject. “I have to go into town and find a fax machine to send Clive some information before tomorrow. Can I call Sandy to come spend the afternoon with you?”

“I suppose. I might even enjoy a little quiet bridge game if the circumstances were right.”

A smile caught up with Meg. If her mother wanted to play bridge, she couldn’t deny her own improvement any longer.

“I’ll call Sandy before I change clothes,” Meg told her mother as she sailed from the room. “I’ll leave it to her to call whomever else you want.”

In old downtown twenty minutes later, Meg found a small store front that listed “Computer, Postal and Office Assistance” on the door just below the name “Justine’s,” and parked in the curb-front parking. A moment later she stood at the counter waiting for the pretty brunette, the only clerk in sight, to finish her phone conversation, and glanced about. Two copy machines, three computer booths, a counter holding a fax machine and weighing equipment, all drastically contrasted with the high ceilinged, brick-walled old building.

“Can I help?” The brunette broke into a welcoming smile. “Oh, Meg! I heard you were home. How are you?”

“Fine, Justine. When I saw the name on your door, I just knew the business had to be yours You’re the only Justine in town.”

They’d been classmates from the first grade, although never more than casual friends. Still, Meg enjoyed renewing the friendship every time she was home. “So when did you open?”

“A couple of years back, after my youngest entered first grade. Since Dad owned the building, but couldn’t keep paying tenants for long, I decided to give my idea a try. Don’t make much here in the old part of town, but—” she shrugged and laughed “—it keeps me off the streets. And I fill a few business needs.”

“That’s great, Justine. You’re just the person I need.”

“You mean you came in for something besides to say hello?”

“You bet. I’ve got several faxes to send, and—” Meg glanced at the computer booths. A nearby sign gave a list of services and prices, including the hourly charge for computer use. “You wouldn’t by any chance be on the web, would you?”

Justine raised her eyebrows in mock insult. “Sure am, missy. No backward little town or lack of the latest equipment for us.”

“Wonderful Terrific. Where do I plunk my money?” Meg responded, laughing.

At Justine’s invitation, Meg moved behind the front counter and sent her faxes. Then she inspected the computer booths, screened to give privacy, and decided on which one she would use.

As usual whenever she immersed herself in whatever was happening around the banking and investment world, Meg was lost to her surroundings for long moments of time. An occasional bell, signaling a customer, or a ringing phone didn’t even register with Meg for the following hour. Finally, though, three noisy kids made their presence felt and Meg looked up.

“Sorry, Meg,” Justine said apologetically. “My kid, Mark, and his buddies usually hit me two or three afternoons a week for the computer games. At least I know where they are, you know? And summer hours are hard to fill.”

“It’s okay, Justine. I’m about to wrap up here, anyway, and I imagine Mom is wondering where I’ve got to.”

Meg hit the Print keys on something she wanted to save and stacked papers back into her briefcase neatly while waiting for the printout.

The door swung wide, and she heard Justine greet someone, then move to one of the copy machines. Meg collected her printout and walked from behind the booth.

Fashionably dressed in a blue summer suit, Linda Burroughs stood on the customer side of the counter. She didn’t look as though she’d gained a pound over a size eight, and her blond hair was highlighted perfectly

“Why if it isn’t our globe-hopping traveler,” Linda said. “My, my, Meg, you do look wonderful ”

“Doesn’t she, though?” Justine chimed

“Thanks, Linda.” She could kick herself for wearing her old cutoff jeans she’d found in the back of her closet. She hadn’t taken time to change as she’d wanted to do “You, too.”

“Kelsey’s children were full of you being back home when they came to dinner the other day. They could hardly talk of anything else.”

Meg smiled, murmuring, “Lissa and Aimee remember me from the old days.”

“So Kelsey said,” Linda commented a little dryly. Her dark blue eyes studied Meg with curiosity. “You’ve been home for a couple of weeks, now, haven’t you? I heard your mother is doing just fine.

“She is, and thank you for asking ”

“From what Kelsey tells me, Meg, you have a very demanding job. When do you go back?”

“Oh, I left my return open,” Meg answered smoothly. Small towns always wanted to know everything; they thought of themselves as extended family, entitled to the truth about everyone. “I didn’t know how long Mom would need me.”

“And your boss is okay with that? My, my, aren’t you lucky? I couldn’t leave my real estate business for so long without a substantial loss.”

“Yes, I am lucky. But thank goodness I’ve discovered Justine’s business. She’s a find.” Meg searched the bottom of her purse for her wallet, then pulled out her credit card. “I’ve arranged to use her computers part-time for the rest of my stay.”

“Ah, yes,” Linda agreed as she accepted her copy work from Justine and collected her purse from the counter. “This girl keeps us all in the nineties. She sometimes saves my hide, actually. Like today when our copy machine is on the blink.”

“Please, please You’ll have me blushing,” Justine protested with a preen. “And I plan on taking you all into the next millennium. Maybe I should take my bow now.”

They chuckled at Justine’s sally before Linda said, “Well, good to see you, Meg I imagine you’re eager to get back to England soon. Hope I see you again before you leave I’ll tell Kelsey I ran into you when I see him tonight.”

Linda breezed out of the door without looking back, her proprietary air floating behind her.

Kelsey and Linda had a date tonight? Startled, Meg simply murmured, “You do that.”

“Hmm,” Justine said, gazing at the retreating woman with a puzzled frown. “It’s a little like saying ‘here’s your hat, what’s your hurry’ isn’t it? Didn’t you hang out a lot with Kelsey and Dee Dee a long time ago?”

Meg drew a deep breath. Whatever had possessed her to even think of the possibilities of marrying Kelsey? Or that he might want her when Linda was available? The girls were simply living in a dream.

“Yes. We were all close, once,” she answered slowly

Stuffing her wallet back in her purse, she handed over her credit card

“How much do I owe you, Justine?” she asked, willing the other woman to hurry the transaction. She had to leave before she gave away her crumbling heart How foolish of her to once again pin her hopes in a childish dream Lissa and Aimee were entitled to their dreams However, she was a grown woman. She knew the difference between dreams and reality.

Kelsey, of all people, did as well. She could only hope the girls hadn’t mentioned their idea to their dad