Читать книгу Beyond Emotional Intelligence - S. Michele Nevarez - Страница 20

When I began my work in 2016 to democratize emotional intelligence, it was with the express goal of broadening access to make its practical wisdom available to all, not only to the upper echelon of leaders. My second aim was to translate the theory of EI into an applied methodology and set of practices people could apply in their own lives with the intent to close the knowing-doing-being gap, by which I mean attempting to bridge the chasm between what we have the capacity to know intellectually, what we have the capacity to apply relative to what we think we know, and finally, the degree to which we embody each. Early on in this endeavor, I remember looking at the Goleman-Boyatzis model of EI, consisting of four domains (Self-Awareness, Self-Management, Social Awareness, and Relationship Management) and 12 underlying competencies, and thinking, “Where on earth does one begin?”¹ Certainly, we can aspire to be proficient in each, but if I felt the undertaking was daunting and overwhelming as someone trying to help people acquire these skills, I could only imagine how it might feel to be on the receiving end of this training. I knew a simplified approach would be necessary.

I asked myself what I thought was the next logical question: “Which, if any, of the domains and competencies are prerequisites to perform the others?” Put another way, “Which, if any, of the domains and competencies when applied result in the demonstration or skillful application of the others?” From there I set out to find whether there were any necessary and sufficient causes to perform the various EI domains and competencies. While I started my inquiry intending to pinpoint the prerequisites of EI, I quickly found myself asking a bigger question: “What makes developing anything in ourselves possible?” This is a question I've been asking in slightly different ways since as early as I can remember, and one that is perfectly logical to ask given the task at hand—to create a methodology that bridges our conceptual knowledge of EI with our ability to develop, apply, and embody it. Asking and attempting to find answers to questions, like what enables us each to be able to shift, change, and grow, and what are the causes and conditions that allow us to be the most authentic versions of ourselves as much of the time as possible, led me to where I am at now, writing a book on a topic that is much broader than that of EI. I realized then, as I do now, that the methods and frameworks we use for this or any other purpose need to serve us and not the other way around.

However, bound to the parameters of my aims at the time, I found myself gravitating back to the work I had done as an adjunct faculty member of Cultivating Well-Being, a program developed as a joint initiative between Dr. Richard Davidson's foundation, Center for Healthy Minds, and the University of Wisconsin School of Business's Center for Professional & Executive Development. The program was aimed at a corporate audience and was based on the insights, methodologies, and neuroscience research Dr. Richard Davidson has written about along with Sharon Begley in their 2012 New York Times bestseller, The Emotional Life of Your Brain (Davidson & Begley, ² During this same period of time, I was also in the process of obtaining my master's degree in Positive Organizational Development and Change from the Weatherhead School of Management at Case Western Reserve University. I was taking courses with Dr. Richard Boyatzis, who, along with Daniel Goleman, developed one of the first behavioral models of emotional intelligence, which is still in broad use across the globe today. I had made mental note at the time of a synergy I spotted between what Richie Davidson refers to in his research as the six emotional styles (outlook, resilience, social intuition, self-awareness, sensitivity to context, and awareness) and several of the domains and competencies of EI. I gravitated toward Richie Davidson's work, however, because his research not only establishes a brain basis for the six emotional styles but identifies specific contemplative and cognitive-based practices that when applied consistently can move the needle on our brain basis to develop them.³ I remember feeling both excited and hopeful that his research had established a scientific basis upon which EI could be practiced and developed, something I felt had been notably missing from all of the then-existing EI models. Granted, I don't believe this was in any way his motivation or intent—rather, he was most fascinated by the topic of resilience and how it is that some people are better equipped at dealing with life's slings and arrows, as he eloquently puts it.

The fact that the concept of EI is thriving 25 years after its debut in Daniel Goleman's writings on the topic is clearly because there is something about EI that resonates deeply with people's experience. When I accompanied him to Europe to hear him speak about EI, many people told me reading his book changed their lives and, in some cases, literally saved their lives. While not everyone would attribute EI or Goleman's work as the reason they decided to stick around on the planet, most of us if given the choice would prefer to spend time with someone who demonstrates EI than with someone who doesn't. Though when pressed to say why that is or to articulate exactly what it is about someone who exhibits or embodies EI that causes them to respond this way, I'd venture a guess that while we might hear similar themes, we wouldn't hear a common response as to why they feel this is so. Emotional intelligence still mostly eludes simple explanation, as would seem to be the case based on the countless articles and books written about it—although that may be equally indicative of EI fast becoming a lucrative industry in its own right.

Despite people having a lot to say about emotional intelligence, we still don't have a common or agreed-upon definition pointing to its definitive meaning or scientific basis. Thus, it isn't surprising we've collectively struggled to articulate what exactly it is or how we definitively measure and develop it in ourselves. After all, our ability to understand and apply something relies on our ability to define what we mean by it. Only at that point can we reliably determine how to approach developing it and training others to do the same. Emotional intelligence is no exception. It relies on our ability to extrapolate the many behaviors and skills from the model—consisting of four domains and 12 competencies—and formulate them into specific practices that when applied result in our becoming more emotionally intelligent—again, once we've defined and agree on what that means.