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London Society Times

DOWAGER DUCHESS LOSES THIRD HUSBAND

As promised, dear readers, we have made haste to bring you the latest on-dit, and a most startling one it is, indeed. The former Lydia Fletcher now has the dubious distinction of having been wed and widowed by three dukes: the 4th Duke of Greycourt, the 2nd Duke of Thornstock, and the newly deceased 3rd Duke of Armitage.

She has also managed to bear each an heir, and in one case, even an heir and a spare—with, it must be said, mixed results. While her son Fletcher Pryde, the 5th Duke of Greycourt, has increased his father’s wealth tenfold, he is also rumored to run a secret cabal of licentious bachelors. Given the reserve of this gentleman, one could hardly imagine anyone less disposed to such purposeless behavior, but then, as is often observed, still waters do run deep.

One might more easily believe such a rumor of her second son, Marlowe Drake, the 3rd Duke of Thornstock, who, it is said, has never danced with a lightskirt he didn’t like. His twin sister, Lady Gwyn, newly arrived in London, promises to make such behavior more difficult by forcing him to ride herd on her own suitors. Her first Season should prove most interesting, and yours truly will be observing such with rapt attention.

Finally we come to Sheridan Wolfe, the 4th Duke of Armitage, who has spent most of his life in Prussia, where his late father was ambassador. He’s the dark horse of the family, unfamiliar to many in society, though he will probably have no trouble finding an heiress willing to exchange her dowry for the rarified title of duchess. If she does, she’d best bear him an heir and a spare forthwith, since his younger brother Colonel Lord Heywood Wolfe is waiting in the wings for his chance at the title!

Indeed, all the progeny of the dowager duchess Lydia had best bear heirs as soon as they can, given—and one can only shudder to say it—the family propensity to have their dukes perish before their time.

The funeral will take place at Armitage Hall in Lincolnshire.