Читать книгу The Baby Diaries - Sam Binnie - Страница 38

Susie rang tonight.

Susie: Have you been meddling with my advent calendar?

Me: [sniggering] No. I don’t know what you’re talking about.

Susie: You little bastard. Those calendars are sacrosanct.

Me: You started it!

Susie: What do you mean, I started it?

Me: You put the pencil in mine!

Susie: What?

Me: What?

Susie: What pencil?

Me: Don’t try that game with me. The pencil … in my … advent calendar … Didn’t you?

Susie: I did no such thing, you horrible brat. How dare you.

Me: Well, who did then?

Susie: [silence] Dad?

Me: I got a tampon last week.

Susie: [longer silence] Mum?

Me: [even longer silence] She has been really stressed, Suse. I think Dad’s heart attack shook her more than we realised. And you know she always goes crazy at Christmas.

Susie: So you’re blaming your mother, are you? That does not seem like the actions of a grateful child. Your poor, aged mother.

Me: Don’t, Suse.

Susie: Alright, alright. Poor Mum. Don’t mention it to her, OK?

Me: OK. And Suse?

Susie: What?

Me: Don’t let the kids open tomorrow’s calendar parcel.

Poor Mum. She does seem pretty stressed at the moment.