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CHAPTER 1

FAMILIES

CHAPTER OBJECTIVES

After reading this chapter you will understand:

the need to teach students about different types of relationships and families;

what to teach students in relation to marriage and the rights and protections it offers;

the characteristics of successful parenting and the responsibility of schools to support children to understand these;

that students must be taught to recognise and evaluate relationships and be able to report concerns they may have in relation to these.

INTRODUCTION

This chapter outlines the importance of teaching students to recognise and understand different types of families and relationships. It also outlines your roles and responsibilities in relation to supporting students to recognise that their peers may have different experiences in relation to the family structures that they are part of. The chapter offers guidance in relation to each of these to develop your understanding and it provides examples to support your teaching of these topics. The chapter also emphasises the importance of students understanding how relationships can contribute to mental well-being, and the common characteristics of healthy families are outlined. Guidance is provided on the teaching of marriage and some key facts are highlighted to support your planning and delivery of this topic. The requirements of the statutory guidance to teach students to understand the roles and responsibilities of parents are then discussed. Within this discussion the characteristics of successful parenting are outlined to support your teaching. Finally, the chapter argues that students must be taught to evaluate relationships and that they should understand how to seek help and share concerns should they need to.

TYPES OF RELATIONSHIPS

The statutory guidance (DfE, 2019a) states that students should know that there are different types of committed, stable relationships. Students should therefore be taught about heterosexual relationships, same-sex relationships, marriage, civil partnership, co-habiting and other types of relationships. Essentially, regardless of the type of relationship, it is important that students understand how relationships can contribute to mental well-being. Students should be taught to understand that there are different types of families, including families with same-sex parents, foster or adoptive parents and those with single parents. Some children may be raised by siblings or other members of the extended family. Students need to understand that regardless of family structure, there are things that healthy families share in common. These include valuing time together, caring for one another, supporting each other emotionally and/or financially, respect for each family member and demonstrating love and commitment.

CRITICAL QUESTIONS

How have views on relationships changed over recent decades?

To what extent are commitment and stability important in relationships?

Why do you think the government wants students to learn about the importance of committed, stable relationships?

MARRIAGE

Students need to understand that marriage constitutes a legally binding agreement and therefore carries legal rights and protections that are not available to couples who have chosen not to marry or to those who have married in an unregistered religious ceremony (DfE, 2019a). In addition, students need to understand that marriage is an important relationship choice and that it must be freely entered into (DfE, 2019a).

Important facts that students need to know about marriage are stated below.

Within marriage each person has a legal duty to financially support the other person.

Upon death, the surviving partner automatically inherits their partner’s assets.

Both people have a legal right to live in the matrimonial home, regardless of who bought it.

Marriage must be conferred through a civil or religious ceremony. If it is conferred through a religious ceremony, the service will be conducted by a minister of the religion. If it is conferred through a civil ceremony, the service will be conducted by a registrar.

The legal age for marriage is 16 in England and Wales, although parental consent is required for those aged 16 or 17.

The 2013 Marriage (Same-Sex Couples) Act legalised same-sex marriage in England and Wales. Prior to this legislation, from 2005 same-sex couples were allowed to enter into a civil partnership, which carried similar rights and protections to marriage.

Same-sex couples can marry in a civil ceremony, although they may marry in a religious ceremony if they secure agreement to marry from a religious organisation.

Some relatives are not legally allowed to marry.

Engagements show intent to marry but have limited status and there is no legal obligation to marry.

Marriage can take place in various places including a registered religious building, a registry office, approved premises, at home, a hospital or prison.

Bigamy is a criminal offence in England and Wales.

Polygamous marriages may not be performed in the United Kingdom.

Remarriage is allowed in a civil ceremony providing that the previous marriage has been dissolved.

CRITICAL QUESTIONS

How important is marriage within contemporary British society?

How do perspectives on marriage vary across cultures and societies?

To what extent does the RSE guidance promote marriage as an ideal?

Why do you think the government wants students to learn about the importance of marriage?

SUCCESSFUL PARENTING

The statutory guidance (DfE, 2019a) states that students need to understand the roles and responsibilities of parents with respect to raising children and the characteristics of successful parenting. These may include:

providing food, clothing and adequate shelter for their children;

nurturing the development of positive character virtues;

safeguarding their children from emotional/psychological, physical or sexual abuse and neglect;

ensuring access to education.

CRITICAL QUESTIONS

Are there any other characteristics of successful parenting that you think are important but are not identified on the above list?

How do perceptions of successful parenting vary across cultures and societies?

To what extent does parenting shape the development of young people’s characters?

Why do you think the government wants students to learn about the characteristics of successful parenting?

EVALUATING RELATIONSHIPS

It is important that young people can determine whether a relationship within the family is safe or unsafe and to be able to recognise this in other people’s relationships. It is also important that students know how to seek help if they feel that a relationship is unsafe and that they know how to report any concerns they have about other people’s relationships.

CRITICAL QUESTIONS

What are the characteristics of a safe relationship?

What are the characteristics of an unsafe relationship?

Is it right to intervene in someone’s relationship if you have concerns about it?

CASE STUDY

FAMILIES AND OTHER RELATIONSHIPS

YEAR 8, PSHE

The following sequence of lessons is designed to support a Year 8 unit of work which focuses on families.

Lesson 1

In this lesson the students will learn about the importance of stable relationships and they will understand how a stable relationship contributes to well-being.

Provide the students with statements on cards about the characteristics of different relationships. Ask them to sort them into ‘stable relationships’ or ‘unstable relationships’.

Statements

–You are jealous of your partner.

–You both love each other.

–You both trust each other.

–You jointly make decisions with your partner.

–You hide things from your partner.

–You have secrets which you do not tell your partner.

–You both respect each other.

–You both treat each other with kindness.

–You both believe in sexual fidelity.

–You and your partner have shared interests.

–You and your partner have different interests.

–You don’t trust each other.

–You don’t like your partner doing things without you.

–You don’t like spending time with your partner.

Collect feedback from the students and summarise on a concept map the characteristics of committed and stable relationships.

Discuss sexual fidelity. How important is it to a stable relationship? Explain that some people are in stable relationships but also have sexual relationships with other people. These are called ‘open relationships’ and providing that both partners are in agreement with this then they can still enjoy a stable relationship with each other.

Discuss the importance of shared interests in relationships. However, emphasise that partners can have different interests and still enjoy a stable relationship.

Give the students some case studies of different types of relationships. Ask them to work in pairs to decide if the relationship is stable or unstable.

Discuss each of the case studies with the class and invite the students to give their opinions.

Lesson 2

In this lesson the students will learn about different types of healthy relationships.

Introduce the students to a variety of relationship types, including same-sex relationships, marriage, co-habiting, relationships within the family, foster parents, adoptive parents, single parents, friends and acquaintances.

Provide the students with a brief description of different types of relationships and ask them to identify what type of relationship is being described.

Explain that regardless of the type of relationship, healthy relationships share common characteristics. Ask the students to identify these.

Give the students descriptions on cards of healthy and unhealthy relationships using short scenarios (not just intimate relationships). Ask them to sort them into ‘healthy’ and ‘unhealthy’ relationships. Ensure that the scenarios cover the full spectrum of relationships.

Go through the activity as a class and provide students with feedback.

Lesson 3

In this lesson the students will learn about marriage and the legal rights and protections that are associated with it. Students will learn about acceptable and unacceptable behaviour within marriage.

Prepare a presentation that includes the key facts about marriage, including cultural perspectives on marriage (for example, arranged marriages). Explain how marriages are celebrated differently in accordance with people’s beliefs and give examples.

Explain that healthy marriages are characterised by love, trust, respect, openness, kindness, empathy and support. Alternatively, ask the students to identify the characteristics of a healthy marriage. Are there any other characteristics?

Ask the students to identify the characteristics of an unhealthy marriage.

Give the students a card-sorting activity and ask them to sort descriptions of marriages into either ‘healthy’ or ‘unhealthy’ marriages.

Go through the activity as a class.

Explain that sometimes people are exposed to risks within marriage. Give an example of what might constitute risky behaviour within a marriage.

Place three cards on the wall in separate corners of the classroom with the labels ‘risky’, ‘not risky’ and ‘some risk’. Read out a description of a marriage and ask the students to stand next to the appropriate card by moving to a corner of the room. Repeat with different scenarios. Provide students with an opportunity to say why they have chosen to stand next to a specific card and invite students to share different opinions.

Lesson 4

In this lesson the students will learn about the characteristics of successful parenting.

Provide the students with nine statements to illustrate the characteristics of successful parenting. These are listed below:

–providing food;

–providing clothing;

–providing a home;

–instilling positive character traits;

–providing love;

–protecting children from harm;

–helping their child to become independent;

–helping their child to feel confident;

–ensuring access to education.

Ask the students to arrange the statements into a diamond nine arrangement to show levels of importance.

Go through the activity with the class, providing the students with an opportunity to move statements from one place to another in the diamond nine arrangement.

Lesson 5

In this lesson the students will learn how to evaluate relationships within families, friendships and intimate relationships, and the importance of consent.

Explain to the students about the characteristics of safe families, safe friendships and safe intimate relationships.

Explain the importance of consent within relationships. Explain that in this unit, consent within intimate relationships will not be covered because this is addressed in a separate unit.

Provide the students with a definition of consent.

Discuss the factors that can affect a person’s capacity to provide consent. Examples include consuming alcohol or drugs, being subjected to threats, or having low self esteem or disabilities.

Read out the following scenario:

Simon and Ryan were both aged 15. They were friends. Simon wanted Ryan to break into a garage to steal a bicycle. At first Ryan refused. Simon persuaded Ryan to drink some alcohol to give him some courage to carry out the break in. Eventually Ryan agreed to carry out the crime.

Ask the students to discuss in pairs whether Ryan had given his consent to break into the garage.

Explain to the students that although Ryan agreed to break into the garage, his capacity to give consent was impaired by the alcohol. This is an example of coercion within a relationship.

Provide the students with a range of scenarios. Ask them to decide whether consent was given for the specific actions described in each scenario. The focus should be on consent within friendships and families rather than in intimate relationships.

Go through each of the scenarios and ask the students to justify their decisions.

Lesson 6

In this lesson the students will learn how to support others who are exposed to unsafe relationships.

Remind the students about the characteristics of healthy and unhealthy relationships.

In this lesson the students will respond to fictitious letters that people have written to a problem page in a magazine.

They will be asked to read a letter and discuss it with a partner. Each partner will have a different letter but both students should be given an opportunity to discuss their letter with their partner.

The students will then compose a letter as a reply to the problem. They will provide clear advice to help the person to resolve the problem.

At the end of the lesson the teacher will read out some of the responses that the students have generated.

CASE STUDY

A WHOLE-SCHOOL APPROACH TO LGBT INCLUSION

YEAR 7, CROSS-CURRICULAR

A secondary school planned to roll out a whole-school approach to LGBT inclusion. The school was a faith school and the decision to implement the whole-school approach was in response to recent incidents of homophobic, biphobic and transphobic bullying.

The bulk of the curriculum work would take place in Year 7. School leaders initially developed a policy in partnership with parents to address LGBT inclusion. A gender-neutral uniform was immediately introduced and changes were made to the physical infrastructure of the school. All the toilets were converted into gender-neutral toilets with separate cubicles and dividing walls that went from the floor to the ceiling. The Year 7 curriculum was modified to ensure that all subject areas addressed LGBT identities and experiences. The history curriculum was modified to include a unit of work on LGBT history. Homophobic, biphobic and transphobic bullying was addressed through drama, and in art students used a range of media to explore the links between mental health and LGBT identities. In science, students were introduced to the work of famous LGBT scientists. In geography, the unit of work on geographical migration explored the migration of LGBT people from rural areas to cities. In maths, students analysed data on the experiences of LGBT people in a unit of work on statistics and data handling. In English, texts were carefully chosen to address specific LGBT themes. In physical education, the department supported the rainbow laces campaign and also developed a broader range of physical activities that had greater appeal to LGBT students. The school library was enhanced and texts that explored LGBT identities were purchased. Notices were placed on noticeboards to communicate the school’s zero tolerance policy in relation to homophobic, biphobic and transphobic bullying. In Relationships and Sex Education, students were introduced to same-sex relationships and same-sex marriage. An LGBT student group was introduced to influence whole-school change.

Before any of this work took place, parents were consulted and invited to attend a briefing event at the school. The leadership team ensured that governors were present at this meeting so that parents knew that the governors were in support of the developments. Several of the parents raised objections on the grounds of religion. These parents were invited into school to meet with school leaders who provided them individually with an opportunity to share their concerns. The leaders listened to their views but explained that the school was meeting its legal obligations to students, citing the Equality Act (2010) and the Relationships and Sex Education statutory guidance (DfE, 2019a). Some of these parents chose to remove their children from the school. Curriculum plans, including unit plans and lesson plans, were made available to any parents who requested to view them.

SUMMARY

This chapter has considered the importance of teaching students to understand that different types of families and relationships exist. Specifically, it has outlined the importance of schools and school staff, recognising that students within the school community will themselves have different experiences in relation to their family structure. It is essential that teachers consider this in their planning and delivery so that there is a sense of inclusion among all students and so that they are supported to recognise the different experiences of their peers. It is important to understand whether students are currently taught to recognise the different types of families and relationships that exist so that any gaps in current provision can be identified and prioritised. The chapter has also provided guidance to support you to teach students about marriage. Again, it is important to recognise that students will have different experiences of marriage in their own families. Some students may not understand that same-sex couples are able to marry, and it is essential that students recognise that their peers may live with same-sex parents.

FURTHER READING OR SOURCES OF FURTHER INFORMATION

Public Health England has published learning resources and teacher guidance to support your teaching in relation to the nature of friendships. The materials also guide teachers through the delivery of learning activities that focus on the challenges that may arise in social relationships and the role of peer support in overcoming these. The resource pack includes lesson plans, written guidance and a presentation as well as links to case study videos. The pack, called Forming Positive Relationships Lesson Plan Pack, can be found at https://campaignresources.phe.gov.uk/schools/resources/relationships-lesson-plan-pack (accessed 6 February 2020).

In addition to Public Health England, the PSHE Association has also published a wide selection of teacher resources to support the teaching of issues relating to friendships and relationships. These include:

PSHE Association (2016) Railway Children Resources: Lesson Plans on the Risks of Children Running Away. [online] Available at: www.pshe-association.org.uk/curriculum-and-resources/resources/railway-children-resources-lesson-plans-risks (accessed 6 February 2020).

PSHE Association (2018) NSPCC ‘Making Sense of Relationships’ Lesson Plans and Guidance. [online] Available at: www.pshe-association.org.uk/curriculum-and-resources/resources/nspcc-%E2%80%98making-sense-relationships%E2%80%99-lesson-plans (accessed 6 February 2020).