Читать книгу Heartstrings - Sara Walter Ellwood - Страница 8

December 1983

Seth tightened his arms around his father’s neck and stared down at Momma lying on the bed of white in the big box. Daddy had cried last night. He’d never seen his daddy cry before. Not even last summer when Ol’ Blue died. The coonhound had been his hunting dog forever. Something bad must be wrong.

“Daddy, why won’t Momma wake up?”

His father rubbed his back and held him closer. He trembled as he spoke. “Your momma went away, buddy. She can’t come home.”

He pulled away. “Like Ol’ Blue did?”

Daddy swallowed so hard his throat moved up and down. “Yeah, son. Just like Ol’ Blue.”

He looked back at Momma. She was so pretty. Her yellow hair fixed in a fancy hairdo, and her face all made up as if she were going out to sing somewhere.

Daddy hated Momma’s singing. They fought about it all the time. “Daddy, I heard you and Momma fighting the other night.” He turned back to meet his father’s eyes again. “What’s a divorce? And why did you call Momma a--a whore?”

Daddy glanced around as several of the other people standing nearby looked at them. He carried him over to a chair against the wall and sat with him on his lap. “You don’t need to worry about that.”

Momma never was like Mike’s mom. Carolann played with Mike and his baby sister and even Seth, and Abby when her mom brought her over to play. Carolann baked cookies and made up games.

Momma never had time for him or his friends. She always seemed so sad. The only time she was happy was when she was getting ready to go out. Momma drank a lot of grown-up drinks and acted mad all the time. When she’d take some of those little pills she hid in her dresser drawer in her room, she’d be happy, but she still never had time for him.

“Momma said she hated us.”

The next morning after she’d said that, Momma wouldn’t wake up. The sheriff had come and asked Daddy a bunch of questions.

Daddy held him close and kissed the top of his head. “Your momma loved you, Seth. She just…just...” His voice cracked and he sounded like he was crying again. “She just never forgave me for not letting her go off to Nashville.”

“Why?”

“I was afraid she’d get famous and forget about us.” Daddy pulled him close, his voice so low and deep he had to listen close to hear the words. “Instead, she felt trapped here and hated me for denying her dream.”

If Momma hated Daddy, she probably hated him, too.