Читать книгу Crusader - Sara Douglass - Страница 16

StarLaughter was far too insane to be intimidated by Qeteb’s threat.

She stood as Qeteb stepped into the tower, the door closing behind him, and then she slowly turned and stared across the bleak wasteland to the east.

A cold and heartless, soulless, loveless desert. A frigid wind blew dust balls red with sparks and flames over the crazily-cracked surface of the ground. No vegetation survived, save for the occasional malodorous and cancerous versions of small shrubs and isolated grain stalks: weeping, fleshy lumps grew down their stalks and stems. Creatures — of both animal and humanoid origins — crept about its surface, whispering and wailing, digging claws in themselves and in whoever approached, copulating with rocks, and eating dust.

But the violent, twisting landscape of StarLaughter’s mind was far more desolate than this nightmare which stretched before her.

She stood, and she stared, and even the occasional crazed creature that paused to nibble at her ankles did not distract her.

StarLaughter was alone. That thought dominated her mind.

She was alone. The Demons had abandoned her. The Hawkchilds had abandoned her.

Even, if Qeteb was to be believed, her son had abandoned her.

No! No! She must not let herself think that!

StarLaughter shuddered, and she moaned, a small rope of dribble escaping her lips.

The Demons had stolen her son, and there was no-one left who could help her.

How many thousands of years had she quested, believing the Demons’ lies when they said they would help her gain revenge for her and her son’s deaths? How much power, aid and advice had she given the Demons, thinking they would help her? Thinking they believed her? Thinking that they had loved her?

“And all they did was betray me,” she whispered. And all the while laughing at her behind her back? StarLaughter screamed, her body jerking in a fit of madness.

“They stole my son!” she finally managed to wail. “They stole my son!”

She collapsed onto the ground again, writhing and moaning in misery amid the dirt. She was so alone; no-one to help her, no-one to understand the depth of betrayal she had suffered, no-one who would understand the depth of maternal grief she felt, no-one who could help her rescue her son from Qeteb’s metalled madnesses.

That her son still somehow existed within Qeteb StarLaughter had no doubts.

All she had to do was rescue him … somehow.

But there was no-one to help her! No-one who could understand —

Suddenly StarLaughter stilled, her eyes crazed with hope, and her dribbling mouth opened in a circle of amazement that she hadn’t thought of this before.

Yes … yes, there was one who could understand her, wasn’t there! There was one who would help her!

StarLaughter giggled, the pure joy of hope (mad, mad hope) suffusing her being, and she clambered to her feet again.

WolfStar!

Gone from her mind were the thousands of years lusting for revenge against him.

Gone was her hatred of him.

Gone was any sane thought that WolfStar was highly unlikely to want to have anything to do with her.

Instead, StarLaughter’s mind embraced memories warped by her madness into untruths.

WolfStar, years older than her, tenderly playing with her when she’d been a toddler.

WolfStar, desperately in love with her (although, sweet fool, he would never admit it to her), teaching her to fly when her wings had first emerged.

WolfStar, unable to keep his raging desire under control any longer, seducing her when she’d been but eleven.

StarLaughter trembled, and laughed softly. He’d never been able to deny his love for her!

He’d been so powerful, so commanding, and StarLaughter knew the entire Icarii race had envied her when she’d married him.

How lucky WolfStar had been! StarLaughter knew she’d been the perfect wife for him, her beauty and power complementing WolfStar’s own attractions and abilities.

And how she had helped him! WolfStar’s lust for the throne had been more than matched by StarLaughter’s own desire for power. She had been the one to suggest the murder of WolfStar’s father, StarKnight.

She had been the one to fire the arrow that sent StarKnight tumbling out of the sky.

And for the throne that she helped him take, WolfStar had loved her.

He’d adored her!

StarLaughter knew that even now adoration could not be very far beneath the surface of WolfStar’s sneers and outward contempt.

No, WolfStar still loved her, and WolfStar would aid her in the rescue of their son.

After all, wasn’t it his son who’d been stolen as well?

And hadn’t he adored his son, and adored her for conceiving him?

StarLaughter’s face softened into something resembling love as she stared blank-eyed into the wasted landscape. How wrong she’d been to seek revenge on WolfStar. She’d always adored him, she could understand that now, and it would take but a little effort on her part to make WolfStar understand that he still adored her.

“We are SunSoar lovers, you and I,” she whispered, one hand clutching at the tattered blue robe above her breasts. “One being, one soul. Nothing can keep us apart. Nothing.”

And on these twisted thoughts, StarLaughter built hope.

“I have to get away from Qeteb,” StarLaughter said, at what seemed like hours later. “And then find WolfStar. Oh, how happy he will be to see me!”

She jerked her eyes around the land, seeking answers. Where could she go? Where would be safe from Qeteb?

“I know the nooks and crannies of this land better than any Demon,” she whispered, and then she nodded slightly. Yes, she knew a place to hide. A place that felt right. A place that called her.

But it would take her a while to get there … unless…

She turned her head and regarded Spiredore thoughtfully.