Читать книгу The Park Bench Test - Sarah Lefebve - Страница 15

My true love hath my heart, and I have his.

‘The Bargain’, Sir Philip Sidney (1554-1586)

Have you ever broken somebody’s heart?

It’s horrible. I think I’d rather have my own heart broken. I think it would hurt less.

Telling Alex I can’t marry him is without a doubt the hardest thing I have ever had to do in my life.

I don’t have to say the words. My eyes tell him for me, when they fill with tears. Not the happy kind.

“You don’t want to marry me, do you?” he asks quietly, clutching the ring in his hand.

I shake my head.

“But it’s not because I don’t love you.” It seems like such a stupid thing to say. Do I think it will soften the blow somehow? A consolation prize of sorts? Hard luck mate, she won’t marry you, but on the plus side, she does love you.

“Then why?”

It’s a fair question.

“I don’t know. I just can’t.” As answers go it’s inadequate. But it’s the only one I have.

Of course, saying yes would have been easier. Because I do love Alex. And I know we could have a good life together. And I am scared I won’t ever meet that person I seem to have convinced myself I’m meant to be with – that person I think I might love more than I love Alex. But I also know if I did marry Alex, then I’d be settling. And we both deserve more than that.

The next day I move out.