Читать книгу Midnight Under The Stars: Woman in a Sheikh's World - Sarah Morgan, Lynn Raye Harris - Страница 8

‘YOUR bride?’ The word clung to her dry mouth. Oh God, she was cracking up. The effort of holding it together was just too much. It was bad enough that he was here in person, but the fact that he was here to talk about his bride was a double blow. Did he have no tact? No sensitivity at all?

Shock cut through the sickness she felt at seeing him. She needed to think, but that was impossible with him dominating her office in that sleek dark suit that emphasised the width of those shoulders and the muscular strength of his powerful frame. It bothered her that she noticed his body. It bothered her even more to feel the answering response in her own. This office was her personal space. Having it invaded by him felt difficult and she hated the fact that it felt difficult because she so badly wanted to feel nothing. She was used to being in control of herself at all times. Wanted it most of all at this time.

But as that control slipped from her, she felt a buzz of panic. Over the past year she’d turned off news coverage about economic and political stability in his country. Even though her company was responsible for the evening party to follow his wedding, she’d averted her eyes from stories about that event. If she didn’t need to read it, she didn’t read it. When their paths crossed at events she was organizing or attending as a guest, she restricted their contact to a brief nod across a crowded room even though the only man in the room she ever saw was him. She’d avoided it all in an attempt to regain control of her life and her feelings. Everything she did, she did to protect herself. Mal had hurt her. And he’d hurt her so badly that seeing him now brought her right back to the edge.

What frightened her most wasn’t the sense of power and authority that could subdue a room full of people, nor was it his spectacular looks, even though the lethal combination of dark masculinity and perfect musculature was sufficient to make happily married women contemplate infidelity. No, what frightened her—what made her truly vulnerable—was the sensual gleam in those dangerous black eyes.

He was the most sexual man she’d ever met. Or maybe it was just their history that made her think that about him.

The look he gave her was reserved for her and her alone. It was a look that blatantly acknowledged a past she would rather have forgotten. It made every interaction deeply personal and the last thing she wanted was personal. She wanted to forget every intimacy they’d ever shared.

He was marrying another woman.

Remembering that, she kept her tone neutral and refused to let herself respond to that velvety dark gaze that threatened to strip away every defence she’d constructed between them. This wasn’t about her. It was about his bride.

‘Kalila is missing?’ Despite her own tangled emotions and natural instinct for self-preservation, she felt a rush of concern. She’d met Kalila on a few occasions and had found her friendly, if rather shy. The girl had seemed more than a little overwhelmed by the Prince even though they’d reportedly known one another for years. ‘Are you saying she’s been kidnapped or something?’

‘No, not kidnapped.’

‘But if she’s missing, how can you be so sure she hasn’t been kidnapped? I mean, she is a princess. I suppose there are people who—’

‘A note was delivered to me.’

‘A note?’ Her brain wasn’t working properly. All she could think about was him. ‘But—’

‘Not a ransom note. A note from her.’

‘I don’t understand.’ It was a struggle to concentrate. Looking at him sent images chasing into her head. Images that usually only haunted her when she slept.

‘She has run away—’ The words were offered up with obvious reluctance and Avery stared at him in silence. And that silence stretched so long that in the end he broke it with an impatient gesture. ‘Her reasons are irrelevant.’

‘Irrelevant?’ She shook her head to clear it of all the thoughts she shouldn’t be having. What would have driven the shy, compliant Kalila to do something so radical? ‘How can her reasons possibly be irrelevant? How can you dismiss her views like that?’

‘I’m not dismissing her views. But what matters is not the reasons she left, but getting her back.’

‘And you don’t think the two of those things might be linked? Why did she leave? For someone like Kalila to do something so dramatic, she must have had a really good reason.’

‘She doesn’t want this marriage.’ He spoke through his teeth and Avery wondered if the tension she heard in his tone reflected his irritation at the disruption of his plans or his sentiments towards his bride-to-be.

Mal was a man who was relentlessly sure of himself, a skilled negotiator, composed and in control and she knew from personal experience that he didn’t react well to anything that disrupted his plans.

‘Oh dear.’ It was a pathetic commentary on the situation but the best she could come up with. ‘That is inconvenient. Hard to get married without a bride, I do see that.’

‘It is far more than “inconvenient”. This wedding must go ahead.’

‘Because it is what her father wants?’

‘Because it is what I want. I need to reassure her that our marriage can work. I need her to know I am nothing like her father. I can protect her.’

Avery stared at him numbly.

Had he ever been this protective of her? No. Of course not. And she wouldn’t have wanted him to be. She didn’t need protecting, did she? She never had. What hurt was the fact that he could move from one woman to another with such ease. ‘So you’re about to leap onto horseback wielding your sword to protect her. Good. That’s … good. I’m sure she’ll appreciate the gesture.’ All this time she’d been telling herself that this marriage was no more than a political union. That he didn’t have feelings for Kalila.

Clearly she’d been wrong about that, too.

He had strong feelings. Why else would he be so determined to go through with this?

Her throat felt thick. There was a burning sensation behind her eyes.

Fortunately he didn’t notice. ‘She is extremely vulnerable. Not that I’d expect you to understand that. You don’t do “vulnerable”, do you?’

He had no idea. ‘I understand that you want to slay her dragons.’

‘Whereas you would rather a man gave you a dragon so that you could slay it yourself.’

‘I’m an animal lover. If you’d bought me a dragon I would have kept it as a pet.’

Once, an exchange like that would have ended in laughter. He would have challenged her. She would have challenged him right back and eventually the clash would have led where it always led—to the bedroom, or any other place that could afford them the privacy they craved.

‘I simply think it would be wiser if she learned to protect herself.’

‘Not every woman is like you.’ There was a dark bitterness in his tone that stung wounds still not healed. She’d started to despair they ever would be.

Her stress levels soared skyward. Her jaw ached from clenching her teeth. Her insides were churning and suddenly she wished she hadn’t drunk the coffee on an empty stomach. ‘I do see your problem. It’s hard to get married without a bride. However, while I sympathise with your dilemma and applaud your macho protective streak, which I’m sure your bride will find extremely touching, I really don’t understand my role in this. I carry spares of most things, but not brides I’m afraid.’

‘Kalila liked you. She admired you. She considered you her friend. Or as close to a friend as someone with her life could ever have.’ His wide shoulders shifted slightly as if he were trying to ease tension and she realised that he was every bit as stressed as she was. There was a glint in those eyes, a simmering tension in that powerful frame that told her he was feeling what she was feeling. ‘I’m asking for your help.’

‘My help?’ She wondered why he made her feel vulnerable. She was tall, but his height and build overpowered her. ‘I don’t understand how I can possibly help.’ Looking at him now, she wondered how they’d ever sustained their relationship for so long. He was so autocratic. Very much the Crown Prince, a man of breathtaking power and influence. There was no sign of the man who had laughed with her and enjoyed philosophical arguments long into the night. This man was austere and, yes, intimidating. Those eyes looked straight through to her mind, seeing things she didn’t want him to see. He’d once told her that he could judge a person’s reaction more accurately from what they did than what they said. It was a skill that had stood him in good stead in handling diplomatic tensions between neighbouring countries.

Remembering that, she stood still and did nothing. She didn’t allow her gaze to slide from his. If her body language wasn’t silent, then at least it was muted. ‘I cannot imagine what help I can possibly offer. I organize parties. I have it on good authority that I lead a life of unimpeded frivolity.’

The glance he sent her told her that he remembered that bitter exchange as well as she did. Her business had been just one more point of contention between them.

‘You are a resourceful and independent woman and you knew her. She talked to you—’ he ignored her reference to their past ‘—I wondered if you had any idea where she might have gone. Think back to your conversations. Did she ever say anything that might be of use? Anything at all.’

She’d been trying to forget those conversations. She’d been trying to forget Kalila altogether because whenever she imagined her, she imagined her entwined with Mal and the image was so painful to view she wanted to close her eyes and scream.

Feeling her hands start to shake again, Avery clasped them behind her back. ‘I honestly don’t—’

‘Come on, Avery, think! What did you talk about?’ His voice was harsh. ‘Several times you talked to her at parties. You helped her choose a dress when she hosted that charity dinner. You put her in touch with her wedding dress designer. She idolized you. You were her role model. She longed to be like you.’

‘Really?’ A small laugh escaped. Afraid that she sounded hysterical, she clamped her mouth shut. ‘Well, that’s ironic. I’m sure you talked her out of that fast enough.’

His only response to that oblique reference to their shared past was a slight tightening of his beautiful mouth. ‘Did she say anything?’

‘No.’ Leave, why don’t you? Just leave, she thought. But of course he didn’t because the Prince didn’t leave until he had what he wanted. ‘I honestly don’t know where she would have gone.’ And worry slowly uncurled itself inside her because Kalila was vulnerable and Avery didn’t like to think of any woman being vulnerable. As soon as Mal left, she’d call her. Not that there were any guarantees that she’d pick up the phone but at least she would have tried.

‘Did she mention a particular place to you?’ Those ebony eyes locked on hers, his intention no doubt to increase the impact of his words. Instead he succeeded only in increasing the intimacy and the chemistry between them. His response to that was to frown. Hers was to back away, hit by such a powerful need to touch him that retreat seemed like the only option. And of course he noticed that step backwards, because he was a man who noticed everything.

The tension snapped tight between them. Heat poured through her body and into her pelvis and still he looked at her and she looked right back at him because to look away was something her pride wouldn’t allow. Or maybe it was just because she couldn’t. The look connected them in a way far deeper than any verbal exchange and Avery felt her stomach plunge.

‘You’re the one with a high-tech security team just a phone call away.’ Somehow her voice sounded normal. ‘Can’t they track her down?’

‘Not so far. We think she might have adopted a disguise, but I can’t question people without raising suspicions and I want to solve this as discreetly as possible.’

‘Have you talked to her friends?’

‘She wasn’t allowed friends. She was raised in a very protected environment.’

Avery remembered her saying as much when they’d spoken. Remembered thinking how odd it must be to live like that, a prisoner of luxury, locked away from reality.

‘You’re the one marrying her. You should be the one who knows where she is.’

‘We’ve spent very little time together.’ The admission was dragged from him with obvious reluctance and he paced over to the window, leaving her only with a view of his back. ‘I admit that was a failing on my part. I made assumptions.’

‘You always do. You always know what’s best for everyone.’

The tension in his shoulders increased but he chose not to respond to that. ‘That is not important right now. What is important is finding her. If this marriage does not go ahead there will be serious diplomatic consequences.’

‘Diplomatic consequences?’ Avery rolled her eyes in exasperation at his priorities. ‘No wonder Kalila left—it’s not very romantic, is it?’

‘I’m surprised you’re even able to recognise a romantic.’ He stood like a conqueror, powerful legs spread apart as he stared down at the view.

‘Why? Because I’m not romantic myself? We’re not talking about me.’ Reflecting on the fact that men could be truly clueless when it came to women, she tried to control her emotions. ‘She really gave you no clue that she felt this way? The two of you have known each other for years.’

‘We’ve barely spoken five words to each other.’

Avery hid her surprise. ‘Oh.’ So if he didn’t love Kalila, why had he been in such a hurry to marry her? Only one explanation presented itself. They’d broken up. He was angry. He’d done it to hurt her.

‘On the few occasions she spoke to me, she usually just agreed with whatever I was saying.’

Numb, Avery thought about all the lively debates they’d shared on every topic from economics to human rights and wondered how a man like Mal could be happy with a wife whose sole purpose in life was to agree with him.

He’d be bored rigid.

And it would serve him right if he were consigned to a life of misery for taking this enormous step just to score points against her.

‘If she’s that obedient maybe you should have just ordered her to “sit” and “stay”.’

‘This is not the time for sarcasm. I came to see if you could shed any light on her whereabouts.’

‘I can’t. And truly I cannot imagine why you would ask me.’ And now she was just desperate for him to leave, not just because of the way he made her feel but because she wanted to call Kalila and make a few enquiries of her own.

It wasn’t right that Kalila should be used as a pawn in their fight.

‘You and I were friends once—’ He turned his head to look at her and just for a moment she saw the past in his eyes. ‘Good friends.’

What he’d introduced into the room was more frightening than any dragon. ‘Mal—’

‘I’m asking you as a friend. There are few enough people I can trust in my life but, despite everything, I do trust you. Whatever happened between us, I still trust you and I realise that this situation is potentially awkward—’ His dark gaze fastened on her like some sort of high-tech imaging device designed to penetrate flesh and bone in the search for truth. ‘If you still had feelings for me I would never have involved you. You ended our relationship so I assumed that wasn’t the case. If I was wrong about that then tell me now.’

Tell him what? That she dreamed about him every night? That she found it hard to focus and that it took her twice as long to accomplish simple tasks because she was preoccupied? That in the months following their break-up she’d barely recognised the woman she’d become?

Even now, she sometimes looked in the mirror and saw a stranger staring back at her.

Avery’s mouth was dry. Her heart was bumping against her chest so hard she was surprised he couldn’t see it. ‘If you still had feelings for me—’ No mention of his feelings. Which shouldn’t have surprised her and certainly shouldn’t have hurt. If he’d had feelings for her he wouldn’t have been able to move with such ease from one woman to another.

‘I don’t have feelings.’ She adopted the chilly tone she used when men tried to get too close to her at functions. ‘My inability to help you has nothing to do with our history, but the fact that I have no useful information.’

‘What did you talk about when you were together?’

‘I can’t remember—’ she didn’t want to remember because talking to his bride had been like sticking knives into herself ‘—shoes, dresses and education for women. She never talked about running away.’ Or had she? The ghost of a memory flitted into her head. Avery gave a tiny frown and Mal spotted the change in her instantly, pouncing like a lion on a gazelle.

‘What?’

‘Nothing.’ She shook her head. ‘I—’

‘“Nothing” is all I have to go on right now.’

‘Is there a chance she might have gone into the desert?’

Mal’s expression changed. His eyes were shuttered. ‘Definitely not. Kalila hates the desert.’

‘I know.’ And she’d always thought it really odd that a girl raised in that landscape could loathe it. Even more strange that she’d agreed to marry a man whose love for the desert was widely known. ‘She told me how much it scared her—’ She broke off, an uncomfortable memory pricking her conscience.

His eyes narrowed as he registered the guilt in her face. ‘And what advice did you offer on that topic?’

Avery felt her cheeks heat. ‘We might have had a conversation about facing our fears,’ she muttered. ‘Just a short one.’

His mouth tightened ominously. ‘And?’

‘And nothing. I just said that the best way to get over being afraid of something is to just do it, which actually is very sound advice, but obviously that comment wasn’t directed specifically at her.’ But what if she’d taken it that way? Avery shifted uncomfortably, her guilt trebling as she watched the colour drain from his handsome face.

‘You told her that she should go into the desert alone?’

‘No, of course not!’ But Avery felt a stab of panic as she realised how her words could have been interpreted. ‘I just suggested that sometimes it’s empowering to do something that scares you. That you learn you can cope with it and you come out stronger.’

‘Or you come out dead. Do you realise how dangerous the desert is for someone with no experience or expertise in desert survival?’

‘Yes! And I don’t know why you’re blaming me!’ Her voice rose. ‘I did not tell her to go into the desert alone.’

‘Then let’s hope that isn’t what she’s done. She would last five minutes.’ Anxiety stamped into his features, Mal pulled out his phone and made a call, talking rapidly to his security team while Avery stood there, an agonized witness to his obvious worry and feeling hideously responsible for the part she’d possibly played.

What if Kalila really had taken her literally and gone into the desert alone?

Surely she wouldn’t have done anything so foolish. Would she?

Her brain argued it back and forth and eventually she pressed her fingers to her forehead as if by doing so she might be able to shut down her thoughts. ‘Look, maybe I can—’

‘You’ve done enough. Thank you for your help. You’ve told me all I need to know.’ He was chillingly formal. There was a hardness to him that she didn’t remember ever seeing before. He was tough, yes, and she knew that most people found him intimidating, but she never had. And he hadn’t found her intimidating either. Unlike many men, he hadn’t been daunted by her success and that had been so refreshing.

‘This is not my fault.’ But her voice lacked conviction because deep down she was afraid that it was at least partially her fault. Had she unwittingly put the idea in Kalila’s head? ‘And if that is what she’s done, then maybe it isn’t such a bad thing. Maybe this will build her confidence in herself. I think it was very brave of her to go into the desert if that is what she’s done …’ Her voice tailed off as he turned on her savagely.

‘Brave?’ Contempt dripped from him. ‘Will you think she’s “brave” when she’s been bitten by a scorpion? Caught in a sandstorm? Drowned in a flash flood?’

Guilt ignited her own temper. ‘Maybe she’ll surprise you. And maybe the experience will be the making of her. Maybe it will give her the courage to stand up for herself and tell you what she wants. And whether it does or doesn’t, you should ask yourself why she finds the prospect of those things less scary than marriage. She’s run into the desert to get away from you, Mal!’

The truth earned her a fierce look. ‘You are assuming that her disappearance is some sort of statement about our relationship.’

‘Well, that’s how it looks from where I’m standing.’

‘She agreed to this. She wanted this marriage.’

‘How would you know? Did you even ask her? Or did you “assume” like you always assume. Maybe she didn’t want this marriage and she was afraid to tell you.’ Avery knew she should stop talking. Stop now, before something was said that couldn’t be unsaid, but she couldn’t help herself. ‘Maybe marriage was the last thing she wanted.’

‘Not every woman sees marriage as captivity to be avoided at all costs.’ His eyes clashed with hers and her heart started to race because suddenly they weren’t talking about Kalila.

They were sparring, as they’d always sparred. The only difference was that this encounter wasn’t going to end with their mouths and bodies locked together. And he was clearly thinking along the same lines because a tiny frown appeared between those bold black eyebrows and his eyes darkened dangerously.

The air was stifling.

Avery wondered how the conversation had shifted from safe territory to unsafe territory. Had that been her fault or his?

‘We were talking about Kalila.’ She snapped the words and then hated herself for appearing anything other than calm in his presence.

‘Yes. Kalila.’ His voice was thick and it was clear he wasn’t faring any better than she was with the direction the conversation had taken.

‘All I’m saying is that maybe she expressed her opinion in the only way she was able. She voted with her feet. I don’t know anything about the politics of this situation, nor do I want to, but you asked me what I thought and—’

‘No, I didn’t. I already know your position on marriage so I would never ask. Our opinions on that subject are in direct opposition, as we both know.’

Why did he keep bringing the subject back to her when it should have been his bride-to-be that they were discussing?

‘As you rightly point out, I am unlikely to have the faintest clue what Kalila is feeling. But it’s obvious she’s panicking about the wedding.’ And now perhaps she was lying in the desert, gasping with thirst or worse … Perhaps she was already unconscious, her frail body being pecked by giant birds.

Crap.

‘What is obvious to me is that she has indeed followed your advice and gone into the desert. It would explain why we can find no trace of her in the city.’ Anger shone in his eyes. ‘I suppose it’s too much to ask to expect you to know exactly where she went? Was there a particular place that you recommended as perfect for her to “face her fears”?’

Avery squirmed. ‘No! But maybe I could—’

‘You’ve already done more than enough.’ He strode towards the door. ‘Thank you for your time. I know how precious it is, so feel free to bill me.’

So that was it. He was leaving.

The pressure in her throat increased. ‘Mal—’

‘I have to go. I do not want to leave this innocent girl out there at the mercy of the desert and the capricious whims of the man who she is unfortunate enough to have as a father. She is extremely vulnerable.’

Avery felt something twist inside her. She felt an irrational spurt of jealousy for the woman who had dragged such tender feelings out of a man known for his lack of sentimentality. Mal was tough. A soldier and a skilled diplomat, used to dealing with the toughest of adversaries. She’d never seen him reveal any soft, sensitive feelings before. The fact that he was doing so now for another woman made her insides ache.

Whatever his reasons for marrying Kalila, it seemed he did care for her.

Any tension between them had been burned away by that exchange and now he was chillingly detached. ‘I will let you know if the wedding party is likely to proceed. In the meantime you can put your arrangements on hold and invoice me for any costs incurred to date.’

‘For goodness’ sake, stop talking about money! I don’t care about the money. I’m worried about Kalila, too. Wait!’

‘I have a desert to search.’

‘Then I’ll search it with you.’ The words came tumbling out of her mouth and she didn’t know which one of them was the more surprised. He turned to face her, incredulity lighting his eyes.

‘I beg your pardon?’

Avery took a step backwards but the words were out there now and they couldn’t be withdrawn. She couldn’t believe she’d actually said it. A moment ago she hadn’t been able to wait for him to leave and now she was suggesting travelling into the desert with him? What the hell was she doing? When their relationship had crashed she’d almost lost everything. Everything she’d worked so hard to build. What they’d shared had been so intense, so powerful, and here she was volunteering to risk exposing those raw tender feelings again, and all so that she could help him marry another woman.

Avery wanted to pull the words back but her conscience wouldn’t let her. ‘If Kalila had thought she could talk to you, then she would have talked to you. If you do find her—’

‘When I find her—’ His eyes promised all sorts of dire punishments if that didn’t happen and Avery swallowed.

‘Of course, that’s what I meant. When you find her, you’ll need to have a proper conversation, but what if she won’t talk to you? She’s never managed to talk to you before, has she? Why would she talk to you now? She’s more likely to talk to me.’

There was a long, throbbing silence.

‘Let me get this straight—’ dark lashes shielded the expression in those ebony eyes ‘—you’re offering to help find my bride and then talk her into marrying me?’

‘Absolutely.’ Avery forced the words out and he stared at her for a long moment as if he were trying to peel away the layers and see beneath the façade she presented to the world. ‘Why not?’

Her question was greeted by prolonged silence and then he straightened his shoulders. ‘I thought maybe—’ his voice was rough ‘—it might be difficult for you to see me marrying another woman.’

‘Difficult?’ She hoped her laugh sounded more convincing to him than it did to her. ‘Why would you think that? Our relationship is in the past, Mal. No one is more enthusiastic to see you married than I am. How else am I going to organize an after-wedding-party and bill you for shedloads of money? Let’s get this done.’