Читать книгу A Wedding In December - Sarah Morgan - Страница 11

“That’s it, Sally. All done.” Katie removed her surgical gloves and stood up. The stitches were neat and she was satisfied she’d done the best possible job. There would be a scar, but Katie knew that with or without a scar Sally would never forget tonight. “Is there someone we can call for you?”

The woman shook her head. There was bruising and swelling on her left cheek and disillusionment in her eyes. “I never thought this would happen to me.”

Katie sat down again. Her shoulder ached from sitting in one position for too long and she rolled it discreetly to try to ease the discomfort. “It can happen to anyone. It’s not about you. It’s about him. It’s not your fault.” It was important to say the words, even though she knew she probably wouldn’t be believed.

“I feel stupid. I keep thinking I must have missed something. We’ve been together for two years. Married for four months. He’s never done anything like this before. I love him. I thought he loved me. We met when I started a new job and he swept me off my feet. He seemed perfect.”

Katie shivered. “Perfect” wasn’t normal. What human being was perfect? “I’m sorry.”

“There were no signs. No clues.”

“Perfect” might have been a sign. Or maybe she was jaded.

Over the years she’d worked in the emergency department, she’d seen it all. Children who were abused. Women who were abused and, yes, men who were abused. She’d seen people who knifed each other, people who drove too fast and paid the price, people who drank and then climbed behind the wheel and took a life. There were plenty of regular accidents, too, of course, along with heart attacks, brain hemorrhages and any number of acute emergencies that required immediate attention. And then there were the hordes who decided the emergency department was the easiest place to access medical care of the most trivial kind. Each day she waded through a mixed soup of humanity, some good, some not so good.

“When we met, he was sweet and kind. Loving. Attentive.” Sally wiped her cheek with the heel of her hand. “I’m trying not to cry, because crying hurts. The physical injuries are awful, but the worst thing is that it shakes your confidence in your own judgment. You must have seen it before. I can’t believe I’m the first.”

Katie handed her a tissue. “You’re not the first.”

“How do you handle it? Working here, you must see the worst of human behavior.”

Katie’s shoulder chose that moment to give an agonizing twinge. Yes, she saw the worst of human behavior. She had to remind herself that she also saw the best. She wondered what would happen to this woman. To this marriage. Would she forgive him? Would the cycle continue? “What will you do? Do you have a plan?”

“No. Until he threw me down the stairs I didn’t realize I needed one.” Sally blew her nose. “The house is mine, but I don’t feel safe in it right now so I’ll probably stay with my parents for a while. He wants to talk to me, and I suppose I should at least listen.”

Katie wanted to tell her not to go back, but it wasn’t her place to give advice. Her job was to fix the physical damage. Helping Sally deal with the emotional carnage and find some degree of empowerment was someone else’s responsibility. “The police want to talk to you. Are you feeling up to it?”

“Not really, but it’s important so I’ll do it. This was going to be our first Christmas together.” Sally tucked the tissue into her sleeve. “I had it all planned.”

The time of year seemed to amplify her distress, but Katie knew from experience that tragedy didn’t take a break for Christmas.

Someone opened the door. “Dr. White! We need you.”

Saturday nights in the emergency department were not for the fainthearted, although these days it wasn’t only Saturdays. Every night was insane.

“I’ll be right there.” She glanced at the nurse who had assisted. “Can you make sure Sally has all the information she needs?” She turned back to her patient. “When you’re ready, there are people you can speak to. People who can help.”

“But no one who can turn the clock back. No one who can turn him into the man I thought he was.”

Katie wondered if Sally’s worst injury was the damage to her belief system. How did you ever trust a man again? “I hope everything works out for you.”

Katie was unlikely to find out, of course. The place was like a conveyor belt of trauma. She dealt with what came through the doors, and then she moved on. There was no long-term management here.

“You’ve been very kind. Your parents must be proud.”

“Dr. White!”

Katie ground her teeth. The reality was that compassion had to be squashed into the shortest time possible. They were two doctors down and she had a queue of patients waiting for her attention, so she smiled at Sally again and left the room.

Would her parents be proud if they’d witnessed her life over the last few weeks? She didn’t think so.

She was probably letting them down. She knew she was letting herself down.

She looked at the nurse who was hovering in the corridor. “Problem?”

“The guy coughing up blood—”

“Mr. Harris.”

“Yes. Harris. How do you do that? How do you know everyone’s name even though you only spoke to him for less than a minute?”

“I like to make an inhuman experience as human as possible. What about him?”

“His tests are back. Dr. Mitford saw him and says he needs to be admitted, but there is a bed crisis.”

When wasn’t there a bed crisis? You stood more chance of finding a unicorn in your Christmas stocking than you did a hospital bed. Demand exceeded supply. A patient she’d seen at the beginning of her shift was still waiting for a bed six hours later. Because there was always a risk of hospital-acquired infection, Katie sent people home whenever she was able to do so. “Did you manage to contact his daughter? Is she on her way?”

“Yes, and yes.”

“Call me when she arrives. I’ll talk to her. He might be better off at home if there is someone there to take care of him.” And better for his dignity. She’d seen on the notes that he was a retired CEO. Once, he’d probably commanded a room. Now he was the victim of human frailty. No matter how busy she was, she tried to remember that landing in the emergency department was one of the most stressful moments of a person’s life. What was routine to her was often terrifying for the patient.

She never forgot what it had been like for her mother being in the hospital with Rosie.

Katie saw three more patients in quick succession and was then hit by a wave of dizziness.

It had happened a few times over the past few weeks and she was starting to panic. She needed to bring her A game to work, and lately that wasn’t happening.

“I’m going to grab a quick coffee before I keel over.” She turned and bumped straight into her colleague.

“Hey, Katie.” Mike Bannister had been in her year at med school and they’d remained friends.

“How was the honeymoon?”

“Let’s put it this way, two weeks in the Caribbean wasn’t enough. What are you doing at work? After what happened I thought—are you sure you should be here?”

“I’m fine.”

“Did you take any time off?”

“I don’t need time off.” She forced herself to breathe slowly, hoping Mike would move on.

He glanced over his shoulder to check no one was listening. “You’re stressed out and on the edge. I’m worried about you.”

“You’re imagining things.” She was totally stressed out. “I probably have low blood sugar. I’m cranky when I’m hungry and I haven’t had a break since I walked into this place seven hours ago. I’m about to fix that.”

“You’re allowed to be human, Katie.” Mike’s gaze settled on her face. “What happened was nasty. Scary. No one would blame you if—”

“Worry about the patients, not me. There are more than enough of them.” Katie tried to ignore the pain in her shoulder and the rapid beating of her heart. She didn’t want to think about it and she certainly didn’t want to talk about it.

She’d once overheard her mother saying to someone, Katie is solid as a rock.

Up until a month ago she wouldn’t have disagreed.

Now she felt anything but solid. She was falling apart, and it was becoming harder and harder to hide it from her colleagues. Even the thought of going to work brought her to the edge of a panic attack, and she’d never suffered from panic attacks.

Her mother kept calling suggesting lunch and she kept stalling because she was afraid she might break down.

“Sorry.” A nurse bumped into her as he sprinted from one end of the department to another and the wail of an ambulance siren told her the workload wasn’t going to ease any time soon.

“The paramedics are bringing in a nasty head injury. And that film crew are driving me insane,” Mike said.

Katie had forgotten the film crew. They were filming a “f ly on the wall” documentary. She suspected they were beginning to wish they’d chosen a different wall.

The cameraman had passed out on day one after witnessing the aftermath of a particularly nasty road accident. He’d hit his head on a trolley and she’d had to put eight stitches in his head. His colleagues had thought it hilarious that he’d ended up on the other side of the camera, but she could have done without the extra business.

“It’s like a war zone,” one of the journalists had observed earlier in the evening and given that he’d worked in an actual war zone at one point, no one was about to argue with him. “No wonder you’re short-staffed. Aren’t you ever tempted to ditch the whole thing and retrain in dermatology?”

Katie hadn’t answered. She was tempted by a whole lot of things, and it was starting to unsettle her.

Medicine was her life. She’d decided to be a doctor the night Rosie had her first asthma attack. Their father had been away. Katie had been too young to be left alone, so she’d gone to the hospital, too.

She’d been fascinated by the beeping machines, the soft hiss of the oxygen and the skilled hands of the doctor whose ministrations had helped her little sister breathe again.

At eighteen she’d gone to medical school. More than a decade later, she was still working her way up the ladder as a doctor. She liked her colleagues, she loved the feeling that she was doing good, but lately that feeling didn’t come as often as it once had. She wanted to do more for her patients, but time and resources were in short supply. She was becoming increasingly frustrated by the limitations of the job, and starting to question whether it was right for her.

The time to ask herself that question would have been twelve years ago, not now.

She turned away from Mike.

A junior doctor was hovering, waiting to discuss a case with her but before she could open her mouth the drunken head injury arrived. The man was covered in blood and bellowing like a wounded animal.

It was another hour before she was finally able to visit the break room, and she grabbed a protein bar and a cup of coffee while she checked her phone.

She had three missed calls from her sister. In the middle of the night?

She gulped down the last of the bar and dialed, calming herself with the knowledge that her sister was perfectly capable of calling in the middle of the night to say she’d taken up ballet or decided to run a marathon.

Please let that be all it is.

If something had happened to her sister, that would be the end of her.

“Rosie?” She tossed the wrapper in the bin. “Are you in hospital?”

“For crying out loud, can’t a girl call her family without everyone assuming I’m in hospital? What is wrong with you people?”

Relief flooded through her. “If you’re going to call your family at four in the morning then you can expect that kind of reaction.” Katie decided to give her feet five minutes’ rest and kicked off her shoes. “So is this a catch-up call?” She eyed the chair but decided that if she sat down in it she might never get up again.

“Not exactly. I called because I have big news, and something special to ask you.”

“Big news?” Why, when her sister said those words, did they sound so terrifying? “You’re throwing in your studies and you’re going to travel in Peru?”

Rosie laughed, because there had been a time when she’d considered exactly that. “Guess again.”

With Rosie it could be anything.

“You’ve taken up Irish dancing and you’re moving in with a colony of leprechauns.”

“Wrong again. I’m getting married!”

Katie spilled her coffee, and it splashed across her skirt and her legs. “Shit.”

“I know you’re not the world’s biggest romantic, but I can’t believe you actually said that.”

“It was a reaction to the severe burn I just gave myself, not a reaction to your news.” She never used to swear, but years working in the emergency department had changed that. “You were saying?” She grabbed paper towels and mopped the mess. “Married? Who to?”

“What do you mean ‘who to’? To Dan, of course.”

“Do I know about Dan?” Katie lost track of her sister’s relationships. “Oh wait, I do remember you mentioning him. He’s your latest.”

“Not only my latest, but my last. He’s The One.”

Katie rolled her eyes, relieved it wasn’t a video call. “You thought Callum Parish was ‘The One,’ too.”

“He was my first. You always love your first.”

Katie hadn’t loved her first. Katie had never been in love. She was pretty sure that part of her was faulty.

“What’s his problem?”

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

“You always pick men who are going through a hard time. You like to save people.”

“That is not true. And Dan doesn’t have a problem, except perhaps that his future sister-in-law is insane.”

Future sister-in-law? Katie struggled to get her head around it. “If he doesn’t have a problem, why are you marrying him?”

“Because I’m in love!”

Love. A disease with an uncertain prognosis that often struck without warning.

“I’m checking you’re not being pressured into something, that’s all. It’s important that you’re doing it for the right reasons.” Katie couldn’t think of a single reason that made sense, but she was willing to accept her own limitations in that area. Rosie was right. She wasn’t romantic. She didn’t watch romantic movies. She didn’t read romance. She didn’t dream of weddings. She lived a life drenched in reality. She saw plenty of endings, few of them happy.

“Can’t you be pleased for me?”

“I’m your big sister. My job is to protect you.”

“From what?”

“From anything and everything that might harm you. In this case, from yourself. You’re impulsive and very free with your affections. You’re gentle, and frankly adorable, and you’re a target for every lame duck.”

“Dan is not a lame duck.”

“Maybe not, but then you don’t see bad in anyone. And—how can I say this without offending you? You’re not a great judge of men.”

“You’ve offended me. And, by the way, ‘adorable’ makes me sound like a puppy that fell in a puddle. It’s not a compliment for someone on track for an academic career. You never take me seriously. Maybe I’m not a high-flying doctor like you, but I’m at Harvard doing a PhD. Some people are impressed by that.”

“I do take you seriously.” Didn’t she? “And it’s possible to be cute and academic. I know some people are impressed, which is why it’s my job to keep you grounded so that the whole Ivy League thing doesn’t go to your head. And to that end we do need to remember here that you’re studying fairy tales, which basically sums up your entire view of life.” It was a long running family joke, but Katie felt a twinge of guilt as she said it. Maybe she’d made that joke a little too often.

“I’m studying Celtic languages, folklore and myth. Not fairy tales.”

“I know, and I’m proud of you.” Katie softened her tone. She was proud of her sister. “I also love you and want to protect you.”

“I don’t need protecting. I love him, Katie. Dan is—he’s—incredible. He’s funny, he’s kind, he’s so laid-back it’s unbelievable frankly and he kisses like a god. I never thought I could feel this way.”

“You can’t marry a guy because he’s good in bed.” It had been so long since she’d been to bed with anyone, good or otherwise, that she probably wasn’t the best judge of that either.

“That’s all you heard from what I said? It’s so much more than that. He’s perfect for me.”

After dealing with Sally, the alarm bells in Katie’s head were deafening. “No one is perfect. If he seems perfect, it’s either because he’s working hard to hide something, or that you haven’t been with him long enough to see his flaws. Remember Sam.”

“I just told you I’m getting married, and you have to mention Sam? Do you really think it’s good timing?”

“You adored Sam. And, by the way, you thought he was The One, right up until the point you discovered he’d slept with two of your friends.”

“People sometimes behave badly. It’s a fact of life.”

“You’re excusing him?”

“No, but we were at college. People go a little crazy at college.”

“He hurt you, Rosie. You cried so hard it triggered the worst asthma attack you’d ever had. I will never forget that crazy drive to Oxford. And lying to Mum, because you begged me not to tell her.” Her mother knew less than fifty percent of the things that had happened to Rosie since she’d left home. Sometimes Katie felt the burden of that. She saw the unfiltered version of Rosie’s life.

“I didn’t want to worry her. I’ve done more than enough of that in my lifetime.”

“And then there was—what was his name? James. He insisted you paid whenever you were together.”

“He didn’t have much money.”

“He was a leech.” She’d had to lend Rosie money, but she didn’t mention that. It wasn’t about money. It was about judgment.

“Dan is different.” Rosie was stubborn. “You’ll see it the moment you meet him.”

“Great. When can I meet him?” The sooner the better as far as she was concerned. Engagements could be broken, couldn’t they? Relationships ended all the time, particularly Rosie’s.

“That’s why I’m phoning. We’re getting married at Christmas, right here in Aspen. Can you think of anything more romantic? Blue skies and snow.”

“This Christmas? The Christmas that is happening in less than a month? Are you kidding me?”

“Why is everyone so surprised?”

“Because generally you’re given more than a few weeks notice for a wedding and you’ve only known him for a couple of months.” An image of Sally’s bruised, tear-drenched face slid into her brain. There were no signs. No clues. “Does Mum know?”

“I called her first. She was thrilled. So was Dad.”

Katie was fairly sure her mother would have had an anxiety attack. “What’s the hurry? Why not wait a while?”

“Because we don’t want to wait! We want to do this as soon as possible. And I really want you to be there. But don’t bring the doom and gloom.”

“Sorry.” Katie swallowed. The last thing she wanted was to hurt her sister. “It’s been a tough few weeks at work, that’s all. Ignore me. Of course I’ll be at your wedding. You’re not only my sister, you’re my best friend. I wouldn’t miss it for anything. Forgive me.”

“There’s nothing to forgive. I know you’re looking out for me.” Rosie’s voice was soft and warm and her generous response made Katie feel worse.

Her sister’s capacity to forgive human frailty was both her strength and her weakness. It made her vulnerable to every loser and user that crossed her path.

Was Dan one of those?

“What’s the plan? Do I have to book somewhere to stay?” The thought of making travel plans drained the last of her energy. “What about Mum and Dad?”

“They’re coming, too, of course. And everything is arranged apart from your flight. Dan’s family own this amazing place in the mountains. It will be the best vacation you’ve ever had.”

Katie had been dreading Christmas. She’d been wondering how she was going to hold it together during all that family time. Usually she loved it. She loved sleeping late and eating her mother’s amazing food. She loved catching up with her dad and hearing about his work. But everything was different now. Her life had changed forever on a dark, rainy night a few weeks before.

And now she felt exhausted. Could she honestly fly to Aspen and put on a happy face?

“When would you want us to fly out?”

“The wedding will be on Christmas Eve, so we thought you should all come a week before so you have time to get to know Dan and his family. Then you can stay over Christmas and fly back before the New Year, or whenever you like. Oh, Katie, I’m so excited! I can’t decide between a horse-drawn sleigh and a husky ride for the guests.”

“Well, don’t ache your brain on my account. I’m perfectly happy walking.”

“They have feet of snow here already. It’s a winter wonderland. You might not find it so easy to walk.”

“Walking is one of the few things I excel at. I’ve had years of practice.”

“I want you to be my bridesmaid. Maid of honor. Call it whatever you like.”

Katie didn’t want to call it anything. Why couldn’t her sister see that this wedding was a massive mistake?

“Are you sure? I’ll probably leave a muddy footprint on your dress. I don’t know much about weddings.” She knew even less about the duties of a maid of honor, but presumably they didn’t include being a killjoy.

“All you have to do is smile and help me out. You’ll be able to resuscitate Mum if she has a panic attack on the plane. I feel bad that I’m ruining her family Christmas. You know how important it is to her to have everyone together. I miss you. We haven’t spoken in ages. I was even starting to wonder if you were avoiding me.”

“That’s ridiculous. Busy, that’s all.”

Tell her what happened to you. Tell her that you feel as if the world is crumbling round you.

Rosie, she knew, would be horrified. Knowing her kind-hearted sister, she’d probably jump on the first plane and fly over.

Katie blinked. She was the one who looked out for Rosie, not the other way around.

She was Rosie’s rock and her support. And never had Rosie needed her support and counsel as much as now.

Right there and then she made a decision.

Forget Christmas. Forget relaxation. Forget figuring out her own issues.

Her first priority was to stop her little sister making a massive mistake that would end in misery.

“I wouldn’t miss the wedding for anything.” She needed to meet Dan in person and figure out a way to save her sister from herself. And if she managed it early on in the week, then they might still all be home in time to spend Christmas in Honeysuckle Cottage.

With luck, her mother would be too focused on Rosie to notice that anything was wrong with Katie. “I can’t wait to be Bridesmaid of Honor, or whatever the correct title is. Don’t dress me in purple polyester, that’s all I ask. I don’t want static shock. And don’t spend too much money.” Because this wedding isn’t happening. She turned as the door opened and Mike walked into the room. “I need to go. I’m at work.”

“I’m proud of you. Katie. I tell everyone my big sister is a doctor.”

Big sister is falling apart.

She was a fraud. “Go. Have fun, but not so much fun you forget your inhalers.”

“Katie—”

“I know. I’m the inhaler police. Party. Live life. I’ll call you tomorrow.” She ended the call and slid her feet back into her shoes.

Mike raised an eyebrow. “Nothing like giving out advice you don’t take yourself. When did you last party and live life?”

“I’m partying in my mind. I’m at a virtual party right now.”

“Does that come with a virtual hangover? Who is getting married?”

“My sister. In less than four weeks.”

“This is the sister who is studying fairy tales?”

Katie winced. “I might have overdone that joke. She’s studying Celtic languages, myth and folklore at a certain Ivy League college. She would claim it contributes to the understanding of the culture and beliefs of society. It has been the subject of many lively arguments round the dinner table. She really is super smart, but I still think of her as my little sister and I overdo the teasing.” She rubbed her forehead with her fingers. “It feels like yesterday I was reading her board books.”

“Big age difference?”

“Ten years. I think my parents had given up on having another child, and then Rosie arrived.”

“And you were hit by a massive dose of sibling jealousy?”

“What?” Katie stared at him. “No. I adored her. Right from the first moment I saw her funny little hairless head.” She thought about Rosie, an adorable toddler, following her everywhere. Rosie in her favorite dinosaur pajamas. Rosie turning blue with an asthma attack. “I confess I might be a tad overprotective, which is why I’m flying to Colorado to meet this guy.”

“You haven’t met him?”

“No. And don’t look at me that way. I’m already freaked out. They’ve known each other a couple of months. What can you know about someone in a few months? What if he’s a gambler, or a narcissist? He could be a psychopath. Maybe a serial killer.”

He leaned against the door and folded his arms. “Dr. Doom. Always the optimist.”

“I am not Dr. Doom. I am Dr. Reality, thanks to the years I’ve spent working here. Having the realities of life under your nose tends to cure optimism. There are no certainties in this life, we both know that.”

“All the more reason to grab the happy moments that come your way.”

“Did you honestly say that? If you get thrown out of medicine, you could write greeting cards.” She finished her coffee and walked to the door.

“Katie—”

“What?” She turned and saw the concerned look on his face.

“Does your family know what happened to you?”

“No, and there’s no reason to tell them.”

“They could give you support.”

“I don’t need support. I’m my own support.” Her parents had done enough supporting in their lives. It was time for them to enjoy their time together.

“Maybe a couple of weeks enjoying outdoor living and breathing in mountain air will be good for you.”

“Maybe.” Blocking out his concerned look, she let the door swing closed behind her.

She didn’t care about outdoor living. She didn’t care about mountain air. She didn’t even care about a white Christmas.

She was flying to Colorado for one reason, and one reason only.

She was going to stop her sister’s wedding.