Читать книгу Angels In The Snow - Sarah Morgan - Страница 9

STELLA walked into the treatment room and stopped the moment she saw Daniel. Her stomach flipped and her heart did a crazy dance. ‘Sorry, I just needed to pick up a dressing pack.’ Depressed by the effect he had on her, she backed towards the door and then noticed that he was putting an ice pack on his knuckles. ‘Have you hurt yourself? What happened?’

‘I hit my hand on something.’

Forgetting her own feelings for a moment, Stella stared at his profile, sensing his boiling anger. She knew him so well. Understood his moods, his volatility and his restless, brilliant mind. She remembered Patrick once telling her that if Daniel hadn’t suddenly decided to be a doctor, he probably would have ended up in gaol. ‘You hit your hand? Oh, God.’ Her stomach lurched as the truth hit her. ‘You’ve seen Patrick, haven’t you? Please tell me you didn’t—’

‘No.’ He growled the word angrily as he flexed his fingers. ‘I didn’t. Believe it or not, I have no intention of adding grievous bodily harm to my list of sins. I punched the wall.’

‘Oh.’ Relief poured over her. ‘What had the wall done wrong?’ But even while she was making a joke of it, her thoughts were spinning all over the place. This was because of her, she had no doubt about that. And part of her felt light-headed that her arrival had destabilised him because it meant that he still cared. And another part was angry with herself because that reaction was so infuriatingly illogical. She didn’t want him to care for her and she didn’t want to care for him.

She’d been there. Done that. Tested their relationship to the limits.

Watched it snap.

The glance he threw in her direction was dark and threatening. ‘This isn’t funny.’

‘I agree.’ If they couldn’t put the past behind them it certainly wasn’t going to be funny. Crisp and professional, Stella walked over to him and took his hand in hers, examining the bruising. But she found herself thinking about the strength in those fingers—the skill she knew he possessed. Skill in the resuscitation room. Skill in the bedroom. ‘That’s a nasty bruise.’ Taking the ice pack from him, she repositioned it so that it rested on the worst of the bruising. ‘I suppose I should be relieved that you’ve learned to hit the wall and not your brother, otherwise I would have had both of you in here and that would take some explaining. Are you going to have this X-rayed?’

‘What for? Nothing’s broken.’ There was a rough note to his voice that told her he was as aware of her as she was of him. ‘Who’s the doctor here?’

‘You are.’ She was tempted to slide the ice pack down the front of her scrub suit to cool her overheated body. ‘But you don’t appear to be thinking clearly.’ And she wasn’t thinking clearly, either, with him so close to her. Suddenly holding his hand didn’t seem like such a clever idea. The sight of those dark hairs shading his strong forearms was enough to make her think things she shouldn’t be thinking and the sudden flare of sexual awareness was like a punch to her senses. Stella let go of his hand. ‘I’ll get you a bandage.’

‘I don’t need a bandage.’

‘Then maybe you need an MRI to look at brain function,’ she said tartly, her tone reflecting her frustration with herself. ‘Going around hitting walls isn’t exactly the behaviour of a consultant.’

‘I wasn’t a consultant when I punched the wall. I was a man. Dammit, Stella.’ He caught her chin in his undamaged hand, turning her face to his, his movements strong and confident, his tone raw and demanding. ‘Why didn’t you tell me you were coming back?’

The way he touched her rattled her self-control. ‘I didn’t think you needed to know.’

‘But you told my brother.’

‘Yes.’

‘You’re living with him.’

Stella moved her head but he had her trapped. ‘Not with him. In the stable. Is that why you tried to knock a hole in the wall?’ Watching his reaction, she shook her head in disbelief. ‘For goodness’ sake, Daniel! What is the matter with you? I’ve seen you handle drunks and drug addicts with calm and patience. I’ve seen you ice cold, resuscitating a newborn baby when the other doctors in the room were all shaking hands and sweating brows. You have more control than any other man I know. And more intelligence.’

‘He said you were living with him.’

‘In the stable! Can’t you tell when he’s winding you up?’

Daniel gave a grunt and let his hand drop. ‘My brother knows which buttons to push.’

‘You two don’t change.’ But she knew how close they were and felt a flash of guilt for causing friction. ‘There’s nothing between Patrick and me.’

‘It’s two years since Carly walked out. He’s ready for another relationship.’ His tone was rough. ‘If that’s what the two of you want, I’m relaxed about it.’

Relaxed?

Stella decided not to remind him that his knuckles had required an ice pack. It was natural, she told herself, that he’d feel uncomfortable about her being with Patrick. It was just too close for comfort. He was probably worried that he’d be tripping over her every time he called in on his brother. ‘Is that what you’re buying him for Christmas? A relationship?’

Daniel flexed his fingers, testing the injury. ‘I think we both know relationships aren’t my speciality. And you still haven’t answered my question. Why are you back?’

‘I’m back because this is where I want to live, Daniel! I love the Lake District—I love the hospital. My friends are here. The only reason I went away in the first place was because I just couldn’t work alongside you after everything that happened. But I’ve moved on.’ She hoped she sounded convincing. ‘And so have you. If you’re worried about awkward moments, then don’t be. There won’t be any.’

‘Have you moved on?’

‘Of course.’ Stella thought of ‘Caring of Cumbria’.

‘That Christmas two years ago—’

‘Let’s not talk about it. There’s no point.’ Surprised and unsettled by his unexpected reference to their highly emotional break-up, Stella decided that the best thing was to show him everything was fine. ‘I hear you’re seeing someone. That’s good. I’m pleased for you.’

Daniel discarded the ice pack. ‘You are?’

‘Of course. I only ever wanted you to be happy. I’m seeing someone, too.’

Daniel inhaled sharply and his eyes narrowed to two dangerous slits. ‘Who?’

Stella suddenly realised that she didn’t want to tell him she was using a dating agency. Why did that feel embarrassing? She didn’t know, but it did. ‘Just a guy.’

‘So you don’t know him very well.’

‘That’s why we’re dating. To get to know each other.’

‘How long have you known him?’

Stella was starting to wish she’d never begun the conversation. ‘A couple of months.’ Which was true, she reasoned. They’d been emailing each other since October.

‘What does he do?’

‘What does it matter?’ She stared at him, exasperated and confused. ‘Why do you care?’

‘I’m just making conversation. Finding out what’s been happening to you.’ But the expression in his eyes said differently. ‘Isn’t that what friends do?’

‘Yes, but we’re not friends, Dan,’ Stella said softly. ‘We haven’t been in touch for two years and I think we both know that was the right decision.’ Staying in touch would have been like squeezing lemon juice onto an open wound.

‘You don’t seem to have any problems being friends with my brother.’

‘Patrick and I have only ever been friends.’

‘Whereas you and I were lovers.’

His husky, sexy voice sent a white hot arc of sexual heat shooting through her body and Stella felt everything inside her melt. ‘It’s in the past, Dan.’ She stepped back, rejecting the fiery chemistry and her body’s instinctive response. ‘It’s not going to give us a problem.’ Picking up the equipment she’d come to fetch, she walked back towards the door. ‘We’re colleagues, that’s all.’

‘So you can work side by side with me and not feel anything.’

‘That’s right.’ The lie came easily, but they were wasted words because both of them knew the truth. ‘We want different things.’ It seemed like a good idea to remind them both of that fact.

‘Are you going to marry him?’

Stella opened the door. ‘I don’t know.’ That was true, she reasoned. She didn’t know. ‘And I don’t understand why you would even care.’

‘Are you having sex with him?’

‘For goodness’ sake, Dan!’ With a gasp, she pushed the door closed again, hoping that none of her colleagues had been walking along the corridor at that point. ‘What business is that of yours?’ Her eyes clashed with the burning fire of his and, for a moment, he didn’t reply.

Then he drew in an uneven breath. ‘None,’ he said hoarsely, running his undamaged hand through his hair like a man on the edge. ‘None at all. And if you are—well, I’m fine with it. That’s fine.’

Desperately unsettled, Stella held his gaze, not understanding what was going on in his head. They hadn’t spoken to each other for two years. He was seeing someone else. There was no reason for him to react with anything other than indifference.

Except that their relationship had been so hot and intense that it had left scorch marks on both of them.

‘I’m glad you’re fine with it,’ she said shakily, ‘because who I date is none of your business. Just as who you date is none of mine.’ Deciding that she’d never understand men, Stella left the room before she said something she knew she’d regret.

‘So you’ve never met this person? How do you know he’s nice?’ Alfie was kneeling on a chair in the stable, watching Stella as she tapped away at the computer. One of the kittens was snuggled on his lap.

‘We’ve been writing to each other.’

‘By email?’ Alfie looked knowledgeable. ‘I have my own email address at school.’

‘Really? That’s impressive. I certainly didn’t know how to email when I was ten years old.’ Stella scrolled through her latest message, scanning the contents. ‘He wants to meet me, Alfie. What do you think?’

‘Let’s ask Mary.’ He lifted the tiny kitten. ‘What do we think, Mary?’

‘You called the kitten Mary?’

‘It’s Christmas. The two I’m keeping are Mary and Joseph. They’re the marmalade ones.’ He kissed the kitten on the head and rubbed his cheek over the animal’s fur. ‘It isn’t safe to meet a stranger. My teacher says you should never give anyone your real name or address over the internet.’

‘Your teacher is right. You shouldn’t.’ Stella typed her reply. ‘And I haven’t given any personal details apart from my name. He wants to meet me in a pub.’

Alfie stroked the kitten. ‘What if you meet him and he’s, like, really yucky?’

‘Well.’ Stella didn’t reveal that she’d been wondering that exact thing herself. ‘I hope he won’t be. We’ve already talked about the things we like and don’t like. So we have a feel for whether we’re going to get on.’

‘You mean you tell him you like computer games and he tells you he likes playing with Lego?’

‘Something like that.’

‘What if he’s lying just so that you’ll be friends with him?’

Stella lifted her hand and ruffled his hair. ‘Smart, aren’t you?’

‘Not really. Harry Trent did that to me,’ Alfie grumbled. ‘He said he loved Lego, so I invited him to my house for a sleepover but when he got here he just wanted to nose around. And he kept asking questions about how much money Dad has. He wasn’t interested in Lego.’

‘I’m sorry to hear that,’ Stella said softly. ‘And if this guy is lying to me, I won’t see him again.’

‘Why can’t you just meet someone normally? It’s going to be really weird going out with someone you’ve never met.’

‘Sometimes it’s hard meeting someone “normally”.’ Stella stroked the kitten gently. ‘We lead busy lives and the chances of just bumping into someone you want to spend the rest of your life with are pretty remote.’

‘Why can’t you just be with Uncle Dan? You were going to marry him. Two Christmases ago you sat on my bed and read me that story and you showed me the ring Uncle Dan had given you.’

Remembering how quickly her best Christmas had turned into her worst Christmas, Stella bit her lip. ‘We managed to have fun that Christmas despite everything, didn’t we?’

‘Oh, yeah.’ Alfie shrugged, more adult than child. ‘It was hard at first, when Mum left. Christmas was the final straw for her. She was screaming and yelling like she’d gone mad. At first I thought it was my fault for opening one of my presents early, but Dad told me it was his fault for going to deliver those triplets on Christmas Eve when Mum had dinner on the table.’

‘I remember the triplets. Your dad saved their lives.’

‘I know. He’s cool. But Mum didn’t think so. She hated his job. And she hated Christmas.’ Alfie looked puzzled. ‘I don’t get that, do you? How can anyone hate Christmas? Dad says it stressed her out.’

Finding it hard to feel sympathy for a woman who could leave her children on Christmas Eve, Stella leaned forward and hugged him tightly. ‘Alfie …’ she discovered that she had a huge lump in her throat ‘… this Christmas is going to be the best ever. I promise. And no one is going to be stressed out.’

‘If Dad has to cook a turkey, he’ll be stressed out,’ Alfie predicted, with insight beyond his years. ‘And I’ll probably be stressed out if I have to eat it. Dad is better at delivering triplets than cooking. He needs lessons. He’s going to advertise for someone who wants a kitten. Do you think I could advertise for someone to come and cook Christmas lunch?’

‘You don’t need to advertise. I’ll give him a lesson,’ Stella promised, kissing him on the forehead and then pulling a face. ‘Sorry—are you too old to be kissed?’

‘I don’t mind it,’ Alfie said generously, ‘as long as you don’t do it in front of my friends.’

‘I’ll remember that.’ Stella shut down her computer. ‘Have you made your Christmas list?’

‘Yes. And I’ve posted it up the chimney.’

Stella looked at him, unsure whether he still believed in Father Christmas. ‘And did he pick it up?’

‘It wasn’t there when I looked so, yes, I guess so.’ He picked up the tiny kitten and kissed it. ‘I hope no one wants the kittens. Then we’ll have to keep all of them.’

‘It would be a lot of work for your dad.’

‘I take care of them.’ Alfie tucked the kitten back on his lap. ‘I wish you’d married Uncle Dan.’

Stella thought, Me, too, but managed a smile. ‘Your Uncle Dan isn’t the marrying kind.’

‘I know. He thinks marriage sucks.’

Stella blinked. ‘Are you supposed to use that word?’

‘Probably not, but I know you won’t tell.’ Alfred slid off the chair. ‘If you don’t want to marry Uncle Dan, you could always marry my dad. Then you could cook the turkey. And be my mum. That would be cool.’

‘Being your mum would be cool,’ Stella agreed, closing her laptop. ‘But unfortunately your dad and I don’t love each other. Not in that way. And people who get married should love each other.’

‘You’d have to have sex, and I guess that would be gross.’

Stella gulped. ‘Alfie!’ she floundered, not sure how to respond, but Alfie had already moved on.

‘What’s his name? This guy you’re meeting?’

‘Edward.’

Alfie wrinkled his nose. ‘I don’t like that name.’

‘It’s just a name, Alfie.’

‘Does he drive a cool sports car like Uncle Dan?’

‘I have no idea.’

‘Is he in the mountain rescue team like Dad and Uncle Dan?’

‘I don’t think so.’

‘I’m going to be in the mountain rescue team when I’m old enough. I think it’s so great, going out into the mountains to save people. You get to slide down ropes and sometimes go in a helicopter. I’m going to get muscles like Dad and Uncle Dan.’

Dismissing a disturbing mental image of Daniel’s muscular physique, Stella gave a weak smile. ‘I’m sure you will.’

‘Last winter he went all the way to South America and climbed a mountain no one else has ever climbed. How cool is that?’

‘Pretty cool.’

‘Does your guy climb?’

Stella took a deep breath. ‘He isn’t my guy and, no, he doesn’t climb.’

‘He sounds a lot different from Uncle Dan.’ ‘Yes,’ Stella said breezily. ‘He is.’

She was counting on it.