Читать книгу Bring On The Night - Sara Orwig - Страница 10

“That’s crazy, Jonah! I’m not moving in with you!” she whispered, wanting to avoid Henry overhearing them. So far he seemed wrapped in his own world. She didn’t know if Jonah was propositioning her, or what he had in mind, but it was impossible.

“It’s a large ranch house,” Jonah said calmly, as if he were explaining the situation to Henry. “If we don’t want to, we don’t have to see each other. Living on my ranch would save you paying rent until you get your feet on the ground.”

“Jonah, I can’t imagine—” she began, but he interrupted her.

“Wouldn’t it help you to live rent-free for the next six or eight months?”

She thought of what that would be like—a gift, heavensent. An enormous break. At the same time, it would mean living with Jonah.

If she did, she might risk falling in love with him and being hurt all over again. She knew that because she was responding to him now. Yet, undoubtedly Jonah was in her life and would be until Henry was grown.

“Yes, it would help,” she murmured, possibilities spinning in her mind.

“If you’d like, I can take you out to look at the place. It’s furnished, and you and Henry can move in today. I’m staying out there tonight, and tomorrow I’m going home to get my things.”

“This is so sudden,” she said, rubbing her forehead. She wished she could choose a different course, but this was such a godsend for her.

“It’ll solve some of your problems,” he said, as if the matter was settled. “Cancel your appointment to look at that apartment, and let’s go to the ranch.” Jonah held out his cellular phone.

She looked up to meet his gaze. What was she doing? she wondered. Did he know what he was asking? The past hour had been strained, and Jonah was steeped in anger that she knew was going to last a long time. And this volatile chemistry between them—did he feel it, too, or was she the only one who would have to fight that magnetic attraction, as strong as it had been when they first met?

“Kate, you could save the money to get a better place,” he reminded her. “During the day I can keep Henry with me, and if we need to, I’ll hire a nanny. Henry is my son, and I want to do things for him.”

She was weak in the knees again. After all the responsibilities she had shouldered alone for the past five years, to have such an offer of help was overwhelming.

“I know you’ll be a great dad to him and a role model,” she said, convinced there was only one answer to give. Yet she felt an enormous reluctance. She didn’t want to rely on Jonah any more than she wanted to find herself loving him again. If she had ever been completely over him…

Kate didn’t want to think too much about that, either.

Bright sunshine spilled over him, highlighting his black hair. Looking relaxed, with his hands splayed on his narrow hips, he stood close enough that she could catch a faint scent of his woodsy aftershave. His jaw was clean-shaven. He was still dangerous to her heart, and she was sure that, ranch or no ranch, he was still as wild and impulsive as ever.

“Are you going to let Henry do risky things?”

Jonah looked at the boy, who was squatting down and watching a bug crawl along the edge of the sidewalk.

“Kate, you don’t have a right to ask me what I’m going to do. I can go to court and take him away from you for what you’ve done.”

She gasped, pain shooting through her because his words terrified her. At the same time, guilt swamped her, because to a degree, she knew he was right.

“And you think, under the circumstances, that we can stay under the same roof? I don’t think so, Jonah.”

“We won’t see much of each other at all. It’s a big house, as I said, and we can arrange it so we aren’t together.” He looked at Henry again. “And to answer your question, I won’t let him do anything beyond the ordinary kid stuff. He can climb a tree, dabble in the creek, learn to ride.”

“Horses?”

“Right, Kate. I’ll find a gentle one for him. I don’t want him hurt, either. Let’s go look at the place.”

Standing on the sidewalk, she stared into his brown eyes and debated with herself. Her life had just changed, but how big would the changes be? She wanted to tell Jonah no and walk away, as she had five years before, but this time she couldn’t. Because of Henry, her life was tied to Jonah’s now.

She sighed and nodded. “It would help a lot if I didn’t have to pay rent for a while.”

“All right. Let’s go.”

“Let me cancel my appointment,” she said, doing so quickly. As soon as she returned his phone, she said, “I can follow you in my car.”

Jonah shook his head. “Come with me, and we’ll stay there tonight,” he said, and in spite of the circumstances, his words made her tingle. “I’ll send someone into town to get your car.”

“Fine,” she said reluctantly, yet seeing little choice. Free rent would give her and Henry a wonderful financial boost.

“Henry,” Jonah said, raising his voice to normal level, “let’s go look at where you might live for a time. You and your mom might move into my house. It’s out in the country.”

Henry brightened and walked beside Jonah, and Kate moved to Henry’s other side so he was between them.

Jonah held the car doors for both of them again, and then she watched him walk around to the driver’s side. She didn’t want to live under the same roof with him. When they’d divorced, it had taken her forever to stop crying over him, but this seemed the only solution right now.

Jonah slid behind the wheel and in minutes they were driving along a freeway in San Antonio, while Henry asked questions about the ranch and Jonah answered.

“How did you inherit a ranch in the Hill Country?” she asked. “I thought all your family was up in the Panhandle.”

“I didn’t inherit from a relative,” Jonah replied. “It was a man whose life I helped save when he was a hostage—remember? The one in Colombia?”

She took a deep breath, because that assignment had been the last straw. That particular mission had sounded suicidal. At the time, she’d known that Jonah told her very little about what he had to do. Just enough for her to never expect to see him alive again when she kissed him goodbye. And that was when she had given him an ultimatum to choose between her or Special Forces. He had said he couldn’t quit the military.

“Although I’m glad you got something rewarding out of that,” she said, remembering too clearly, “I’m surprised you’re moving here.”

“I’ll see how I like ranching. I always liked it when I was a kid.”

“That’s different, Jonah. You didn’t have full responsibility.”

“Nope, but this ranch looks like a promising place for me to be.”

As they sped out of the city, heading north to the ranch, they rode in silence. For the first half hour, all Kate could do was think about the gift of no rent for the coming months, and what a wonderful help that would be to her finances. Her spirits lifted, and she tried to avoid contemplating living under the same roof with Jonah, or his fury, or the future. She wanted to bask in relief over the problems his offer solved for her.

The land was green from spring rains, and wildflowers still dotted the hillsides. At one point they reached barbed wire fencing that stretched into the distance. “This is the south boundary of my ranch,” Jonah said.

As she continued looking out at endless pastureland, she realized they were passing a lot of acres.

At last Jonah turned the car off the state highway onto a hard-packed dirt road, between tall stone posts. On one of the posts a sign held the Long Bar brand. Kate glanced back to see Henry sitting up, straining against his seat belt to see out the window when they bounced across a cattle guard.

She looked at the rolling hills and saw cattle grazing in the distance. She had imagined something on a much smaller scale, and when they topped a rise and she saw a sprawling ranch house and other buildings, her surprise grew. “Jonah, this operation is enormous. You inherited all of it?”

“Yes. It’s mine now, lock, stock and barrel.”

“What about the other guys in on the rescue? You didn’t go get the hostage single-handedly.”

“Nope. There were four of us back then. We lost Colin Garrick in the line of duty. Boone Devlin inherited a quarter-horse ranch, and Mike Remington inherited the house in town and the man’s baby daughter.”

“A baby? There weren’t any relatives?”

“Only John Frates’s in-laws. They were unfit for parenthood and are in a rehabilitation center now. Dina Frates’s father had been in prison, and both are alcoholics. They couldn’t take the baby.”

“Who cares for them?” Kate asked.

“They have a lifetime trust established for them by John. Savannah Remington is the attorney for it.”

“How sad about the grandparents,” Kate remarked. She was curious about the man they had rescued. “No wonder someone held him hostage, if he had this kind of money. What happened to Colin?” she asked, remembering a handsome guy full of life.

“He was killed on a mission,” Jonah answered, bringing back to her the seriousness of what he’d been involved in and what he had chosen over their marriage.

“Wasn’t Colin married?” she asked, thinking back and remembering the same woman with him each time she had seen him.

“Nope, engaged. They were planning on marrying. I heard she’s married someone else now.”

“I’m sorry. That’s sad. I don’t know how you got used to so much needless death, Jonah.”

“I don’t know that anyone ever does get used to it.”

“Oh, yes. You did, or you would have been too horrified to go back into that life. And you have all this now,” she said, still amazed.

“That’s right. I can keep it or I can sell it. I’ve thought it over and decided to keep it for a time and see how I like it. It’s a successful cattle ranch.”

Her head whipped around. “You won’t stay here long, because this will be much too quiet for you, too placid. I can’t imagine you doing this for more than six months or so.”

“We’ll see,” he said tightly. “Kate, my job was to do some good in the world, not to live dangerously. But that’s old territory, and there’s no need to go there now.”

“No, there’s not. How long have you been out?”

“Almost a year.”

“So what have you been doing?”

“Working for an oil company,” he replied, a muscle working in his jaw.

“Doing what for an oil company?” she persisted, wondering how much he had changed over the years, if at all.

“Fighting well fires,” he replied, and she shook her head. He hadn’t changed in the least. He had merely gone from one high-risk job to another. She looked again at the lush land surrounding them and the fantastic ranch house looming closer. She couldn’t imagine him staying out here, herding cattle and mending fences and keeping books. In a few months, he would be gone.

“Look, Mom, there are cows!”

“Yes, there are, Henry,” she replied as they neared a pasture where more Herefords grazed.

“There are horses, too, Henry. I’ll let you ride one this evening,” Jonah said.

“You will?”

Henry’s voice was filled with so much eagerness and anticipation that Kate looked back at him again. His eyes were wide and sparkling. “I get to ride a horse,” he said to her in awe, and she was saddened. Had she cheated Henry badly by keeping his father from him?

She had never thought about Jonah as being a super father, because she’d never thought about him being present enough to be any kind of a dad to a child. He had seemed so wrapped up in his military life that she had never expected him to be deeply interested in a family. Had she been wrong? And had she denied not only Jonah, but Henry as well?

“Look, there’s a barn!” Henry exclaimed.

Jonah took out a cell phone and called someone, and in seconds she realized he was talking to one of his ranch hands, telling him that he would be staying the night on the ranch and he had brought guests.

She listened as Henry bounced in the seat with excitement, and Jonah made arrangements for a gentle horse to be brought up to the corral.

She ran her hand across her head. This was a bonanza for her and for Henry in so many ways, yet at the same time she was putting her heart and her future in jeopardy. She looked at Jonah and drew a deep breath. Handsome, commanding, he was too many appealing things. If he turned out to be a loving, attentive father for Henry, she knew he would be just that much more irresistible to her. And she knew full well that he was still the same risk-taker he had always been, the same man who lived life on the edge and didn’t mind wading into a fight to help someone even when doing so put him in jeopardy.

When Jonah led them into a house large enough to be a mansion, Henry’s eyes were wide. He became quiet, and she was certain that he was awed by the enormous new home where they would live. She was a little awed herself.

“Wow! Mom, are we going to stay here?” he asked in his childish voice.

“Yes, you are,” Jonah answered before she could.

Her astonishment grew when they strolled into a large kitchen with a living area at one end of the room. Elegant glass-fronted oak cabinets, above a limestone floor and state-of-the-art, built-in appliances, looked wonderful to her. An adjoining eating area held a rectangular oak table and ten ladder-back chairs. A china vase filled with silk flowers was centered on the table. The house reflected the wealth of the previous owner, and she could hardly believe that it now belonged to Jonah.

“This is huge,” she exclaimed. “You’ll need a maid to keep it.”

“Actually, one comes with the place,” Jonah replied quietly.

“Jonah, this is fabulous! What an enormous inheritance.”

“Yeah, I was shocked, too, Kate. All we did was accomplish our mission.”

“You saved the man’s life.”

“That’s what I was supposed to do. All three of us have been in shock over our inheritance.”

Henry had gone to the window to look outside, so was out of earshot when Kate turned to Jonah. “You’re handsome and now you’re wealthy, Jonah. Women are going to be interested in you. Won’t we be in your way here?”

“Nope. If we need to make adjustments or other arrangements, we can,” he said, gazing steadily back at her. When he did, she could feel the air ignite between them.

In spite of all the arguments, their opposing views, his fury today and her determination to remain detached, the sparks were still there, as volatile and hot as ever. Her own gaze was locked onto his dark, enigmatic eyes. She couldn’t catch her breath or look away, and although she hated it, she had to admit that part of her wanted to throw her arms around him and kiss him endlessly.

At the same time, another part wanted to resist with every ounce of her being. She didn’t want to look at Jonah and be set ablaze with desire, or touch him and ignite a firestorm of longing. Yet there was no mistaking what she was caught up in and unable to stop any more than she could stop breathing.

It was obvious that he was feeling sparks, too, and fighting his emotions as much as she was, because a muscle worked in his jaw and his fists were clenched again. Breaking eye contact, he turned abruptly, and she let out her breath.

“How can we live under one roof?” she asked softly.

“Damn easily,” he snapped, turning back, and this time his eyes flashed with a different fire. She knew instinctively that anger was his protection from the sparks that danced between them, just as shock had been her barrier the first hour with him. Swiftly, her shock at seeing him was wearing off, now that he knew the truth concerning Henry, and she had no shield except logic and determination, which was a weak buffer against the appeal that Jonah held for her.

“All I have to do is look at my son and I know I want you here,” Jonah said. “You’re part of Henry. It would hurt him to be taken from you, Kate. If it didn’t hurt him, I wouldn’t hesitate.”

Jonah’s words cut into her like a knife, yet she knew she deserved them, and she could understand his hurt and anger. She closed her eyes and took a deep breath.

Henry walked around the room, looking at everything and then returning to Kate’s side. “This is a big house.”

“Yes, it is.”

“C’mon, Henry,” Jonah said, hoisting Henry to his shoulders. “I’ll show you around.”

Henry clung tightly to Jonah, and for an instant Kate wondered if he was frightened. But then she saw his grin and realized he liked being on Jonah’s shoulders. When he had been a toddler, her father had carried him that way. By the time Henry was three years old, her father hadn’t been able to do so, and Henry probably didn’t even remember that he ever had.

She saw that Henry was going to take to Jonah completely. Her son had missed having a father, and now not only was Jonah concerned about him, he could also enrich his life as well as become a role model for him.

She trailed after Jonah and Henry as they entered an opulent family room with rough, hand-hewn beams across the sixteen-foot-high ceiling. The furniture was dark wood, with the chairs and sofas covered in brown leather. The plank floor gleamed with polish, and a massive slate fireplace filled one end of the room. The pavilion-style space had a great view of a swimming pool and surrounding terrace.

“Oh, my!” Kate exclaimed, looking at the beautiful, sparkling water behind a black, wrought-iron grill. “I’m glad there’s a fence around the pool,” she said. “Henry doesn’t swim.”

“Don’t worry, Kate. He’ll be all right and the fence is sturdy,” Jonah said.

She turned her attention to the family room. “The house looks old, but they must have done it over in recent years,” she observed, gazing at a built-in entertainment center and a bar at one end of the room.

“It looks that way,” Jonah replied. “None of us knew John Frates very well, and our total knowledge of him involved his being a hostage.”

She crossed the room to a credenza. “Someone liked elegant antique furniture,” she said. “This period piece is beautiful.”

“The lawyer told me they had a decorator do the house. You can pick a bedroom, Kate, and select one for Henry. There are twelve bedrooms and eight bathrooms in this place—one bedroom downstairs and the rest upstairs. I’ve already decided to take the master bedroom.”

“That’s fine, Jonah. It doesn’t matter,” she replied. Only it did matter. She needed a bedroom a mile away from him.

He swung Henry to the floor and she watched the flex of taut muscles in his arms and back as his shirt stretched tightly across his shoulders.

“We’re going to live here, Mommy?” Henry asked in a subdued voice, and she wondered if he was overwhelmed by the house.

“Yes, we are for a while.”

He looked at the window. “There’s a swimming pool,” he said quietly, casting a worried glance at Jonah.

“Yes, and you’ll get to go in it sometime, when one of us is with you,” she said. “Right now, let’s look around the house so we’ll know where things are.”

He stayed close by her side as they went through a formal living room, and Jonah watched him, thinking he was too quiet for a little boy and wondering if his shyness was because of his new father’s presence.

The moment Kate stepped inside the living room, she gasped. “Look at this, Jonah! That looks like a marble Chippendale chimney piece. My word, I wonder where he got this and what it cost!” she exclaimed, crossing the room to look at the ornate mantel.

“You’d know more about that than I do,” Jonah remarked dryly, watching her hips sway, desire still burning in him in spite of all his efforts to fight it.

“What a magnificent armoire!” she exclaimed. She moved around the room, gushing over the furniture, while Jonah smoldered and watched her, his emotions warring. Anger and desire were tearing him apart. He didn’t want to feel either one, but he was consumed by both. Thinner, more pale, Kate still was the most beautiful woman he had ever known.

“Dammit,” he said softly under his breath. “Let’s look at the rest, Kate.”

She entered the dining room, which she found to be even more spectacular than the kitchen and family room. It was an immense space with another beamed ceiling, and fancy iron chandeliers that hung above a gleaming, dark wood table that could easily seat two dozen people.

Another mammoth stone fireplace filled one wall and crystal pieces sparkled in a tall breakfront on a credenza.

“That man didn’t have any relatives?” she asked, turning and catching Jonah looking at her in a manner that set her pulse fluttering again. Instantly, he walked away from her.

“His wife had a family, but her parents are in rehabilitation and not fit guardians. They are taken care of financially for their lifetimes. The property and the baby went to the three of us,” Jonah replied solemnly.

He motioned to her. “Down this way,” he said, “is a media room, a music room, a games room, a sunroom, a library. A portico connects the house to a cabana. In the cabana is a workout room.”

“Jonah, this house is going to take a fortune to maintain!” she exclaimed. “We ought to pay you to live here.”

“There’s no need to, Kate. I can manage it,” he said. “This is a highly profitable ranch.”

“You’re so fortunate and—” When she bit off her words, he turned to look at her, his brows arched in curiosity.

“And what?”

“You deserved to get this for risking your life to save his. It’s ironic that you saved him and then he came home and something happened to him.”

“John and Dina drowned off the coast of Scotland in a boating accident. It was their first trip on their own after their daughter’s birth and she was too small. The nanny looked after her.”

“They left the baby behind? That’s awful,” Kate exclaimed, and then caught Jonah staring at her with such anger that she bit her lip and turned away. He was probably thinking that it wasn’t as awful as what she had done, because they’d been killed accidentally, while she had kept Henry from him deliberately.

They looked at the house, selected bedrooms, and then Jonah told Henry he would take him to look at the barn and livestock. Before they left her, Jonah turned to Kate. “Give me your car keys and I’ll have someone fetch your vehicle.”

“It’s in the drugstore parking lot, one with North Carolina plates,” she said, giving him a description of her eleven-year-old car while she dug in her purse and pulled out keys, handing them to Jonah. When she did, their hands brushed—a slight contact, yet the touch was electric. He looked up into her eyes, and in that moment raw desire burned between them.

As she jerked her hand away, he turned abruptly. “Let’s go, Henry,” he said. Jonah glanced back at Kate. “I’ll put some steaks out to thaw. The kitchen and pantry looked fully stocked.”

“Fine,” she answered breathlessly, stunned by the intense reaction she was having after all these years, when she’d thought she had gotten over being responsive to him. “We had a big lunch and a late one,” she added. “Neither Henry nor I will be hungry for a while.”

“When I go home tomorrow to get my things, I want you and Henry to come with me so my folks and Henry can meet each other. I’ll get the plane tickets and then we’ll drive back here.”

She nodded, knowing she should let them meet, but her first thought was the long drive meant hours in the car with Jonah. She saw in her future that they would be thrown together constantly, and it was going to be a rocky time, if not impossible.

As father and son left the house, she watched them. It was an incredible turn of events in their lives, and she was still dazed by the sudden upheaval in her plans.

She turned back to the bedroom she had hastily chosen because it was next to a child’s room, one done in primary colors. She was thankful it wasn’t all in pink, since Jonah had told her the Frateses’ baby was a girl.

Anywhere under the same roof would be impossible to be far enough away from Jonah’s room to insulate her heart. As it was, his room was next to hers. He had a huge master bedroom that ran the length of the house on the side overlooking the pool and terrace. Each bedroom had its own balcony.

She looked at the skylighted room she had chosen and realized it was larger than any bedroom she had had before. It held a double bed that had a massive carved headboard she guessed was antique. A dresser and chest of drawers matched the bed, and a tall armoire stood on one side of the room. The green-and-white decor was cheerful in the afternoon sunlight spilling through wide windows. She was surrounded with luxury that she would have relished and enjoyed tremendously if it hadn’t included living with Jonah. Life with him would keep her constantly on edge.

Two hours later Henry returned, chattering, dusty and with sparkling eyes. Her car had been brought to the ranch and her things carried in by men who now worked for Jonah. She’d met them as they brought her suitcases up the stairs, then helped Jonah take a crib out of the nursery and put in a bed for Henry.

While the men worked, Kate ran a bath for her son and soon had him bathed and changed into his blue pajamas. She had found the pantry was fully stocked, as Jonah had promised, and she’d fixed an early supper for Henry, knowing he would be exhausted from the long day. While she didn’t want to eat alone with Jonah, Henry couldn’t last.

When they finished assembling the bed and she’d put clean sheets on it, she let Henry pick out two books from those that were unpacked.

“Can I read to him tonight?” Jonah asked from the doorway, and she turned to find him casually leaning against the jamb. How long had he been standing there watching her? she wondered.

“Yes. I’ll come tuck you in, Henry,” she said, leaving the room. At the doorway she looked back to see Jonah sitting in the rocking chair with Henry on his lap. The little boy settled in his father’s arms, and Kate suffered another pang for keeping the two separated. How long now would she have to live with guilt?

She hurried to her room to unpack some fresh clothes and shower.

Everything about Jonah was appealing, but she needed to constantly guard her heart and remember that this quiet country living would never last for him. To be happy Jonah had to be saving someone or handling some dangerous mission for his country. Getting out of Special Forces wouldn’t matter.

She changed into cutoffs and a blue T-shirt, twisting her hair up on her head in a butterfly clip and going back to see if they had finished reading.

As he read and rocked, Henry looked up at Jonah. “You’re my daddy? You’re going to stay? You’re not going to leave us?”

“No, Henry, I’m not going to leave you.”

“Daddy,” Henry said, running his tiny fingers along Jonah’s jaw. Jonah’s heart turned over. “I’m glad you’re here.”

“I’m glad, too, Henry,” he said in a husky voice as a rush of feeling choked him. He tightened his arms slightly around his son and continued reading, hoping Henry didn’t notice that he was getting emotional.

In minutes the boy was asleep. Jonah studied him, touching strands of his hair lightly, marveling in the child’s perfection. Filled with love and awe, Jonah picked up Henry, carrying him to the new bed and putting him down gently.

Then he stood beside the bed. Jonah was fascinated with every facet of Henry, noticing his son’s long lashes, his smooth brown skin, his small hands. He leaned down to brush a kiss on Henry’s forehead.

“I love you, Henry, and will thank God every day that I found you,” he whispered. He straightened and turned to discover Kate only yards away behind him, standing immobile with sadness in her eyes. She turned abruptly and left the room ahead of him.

When he found her waiting at the foot of the stairs, his anger soared, now that Henry was no longer around to witness his wrath. His gaze raked over her.

She was in cutoffs and she looked prettier than ever. There was something sultry and earthy about Kate, and the qualities had intensified in the last few years. Strands of her hair fell loose from the clip that held it pinned on her head. She always looked slightly thrown together, creating a casual, sultry air that had not changed with time.

When they entered the kitchen, she crossed the room. “What can I do to help with dinner?” she asked.

“I’ll grill the steaks, and while we eat, I want you to tell me about Henry. Do you have a baby book for him?”

“Yes, I do,” she answered.

“Fine,” Jonah replied as he got greens for salad from the refrigerator. “I’ll take care of the cooking. You go unpack his baby book so I can see it.”

“Jonah, if we’re tense and angry, he’s going to pick up on it soon,” Kate said. “You can’t pretend to be friendly with me one minute and then seethe with anger the next.”

“I figure the anger will go soon, because he’s here in my life now, and I’m damn thankful for that. Just overlook the anger, or live with it the way I lived with yours when we were married.”

She caught her breath and turned and left the room.

He swore silently and watched her walk away, mentally stripping away the cutoffs, looking at her long, bare legs and wanting her in spite of all she had done. He clamped his teeth so tightly they hurt, then turned to get a cold beer and start dinner.

Before they sat down to eat thick, juicy steaks on the patio, Jonah switched on the intercom.

“I want the device on,” Kate said, “but Henry sleeps like someone who has lost consciousness. He’s out until eight o’clock in the morning. No nightmares or wanting a drink or wanting me in the middle of the night.”

“Well, if the unusual should happen, we’ll hear him. Now tell me about him—everything, Kate.”

She talked while they ate their steaks, a tossed salad and potatoes baked in a microwave oven. A cool breeze blew across the terrace, and she gazed over the turquoise swimming pool. Beyond the well-tended yard was a grand view of rolling hills, green pastures and, in the distance, a silvery pond. The Long Bar Ranch was a paradise—or could be, she thought, and she knew that when the time came, it was going to be difficult to move Henry away from here. She didn’t want to think about that now. For the moment, they were here, and when she wasn’t tied in knots by Jonah, she could enjoy the ranch, which was going to be so wonderful for Henry.

After dinner, at dusk, they cleared the table and then she spread out the baby book and scrapbooks. Jonah pulled his chair up beside her there.

Her skin tingled all over with awareness of him—his arm brushing against her, his fingers touching hers as they began to look, starting with pictures of Henry at the hospital where he had been born.

“Look at the thick black hair on him even as a baby!” Jonah exclaimed, staring at each picture with a joy that saddened her and heightened her guilt.

“Well, you and I both have thick hair,” Kate said, and Jonah looked at her locks, picking up a handful in his grasp.

“Yes, you do,” he agreed.

They sat side by side, his hand in her hair now and his face only inches away. His fingers had brushed her nape and his fist rested against her head, slight touches that were like dynamite near the flames of impossible desire. His dark eyes were momentarily free of anger and the only emotion smoldering in their depths was longing.

Once again her gaze locked with his. She couldn’t move away, look away or even draw a breath.

While her heart thudded, she licked her dry lips. Why did he have this effect on her? Why had he always been so irresistible? Right now, in spite of all that was between them, she wanted to close that small distance between them and kiss him. She wanted him to wrap his arms around her and kiss her back. At the same time, she didn’t want his kisses and never wanted to walk into his arms again, because it could only lead one direction—to more hurt than she had known before.

“Dammit, Kate,” he whispered.

“I told you we couldn’t live here together, Jonah! You were warned and you didn’t pay any attention. Neither one of us wants to feel what we do,” she said, unable to tear her eyes from his.

She started to get up to walk away from him. He did the same and they bumped against each other, shoulder to shoulder, hip against hip. He reached to steady her and then they looked into each other’s eyes once more.

This time desire was an explosion between them, and longing was palpable. His dark eyes consumed her, and she could only tremble with need.