Читать книгу The Unexpected Mistress - SARA WOOD - Страница 7

THE smell of freshly baked bread had hit him immediately as he’d opened the door—even before it had swung fully open. Although his senses had enjoyed the aroma, he’d tensed every muscle in his body.

It meant one thing. A sitting tenant. And a legal minefield ahead.

Unsettled, he’d paused to collect himself. He had wanted to be alone here when he first arrived. To chase away the past. That was why he’d left Jai in Marrakesh, exploring the High Atlas mountains with one of their Berber friends.

Instead, it looked as if he’d have to chase a tenant out first! Furious with Tony for not mentioning that he’d rented the place out, he’d thrust at the door with an impatient hand and stepped into the room.

His heart had beat loud and hard as he’d entered the house where he’d cut his teeth on conflict, toughened his character and learnt to deal with Hell. He’d steeled himself.

And then he’d seen Laura.

The shock rocked him. It was a moment before he could collect his wits, a fearsome scowl marring his features and his eyes narrowing in disbelief as he realised the situation.

‘You!’ he growled, his voice deep with disappointment.

Of all people! She ought to have gone years ago, left this house and made a new start in life!

When she flinched, obviously struck dumb by his greeting, he scowled harder still, silently heaping vicious curses on Tony’s fat head. Her huge eyes were already wary and reproachful. Instinctively he knew that she’d weep pathetically when he turned her out and he’d feel a heel.

‘Hi, Cassian!’

He started, and glanced sideways in response to the cheery greeting from a strawberry blonde.

‘Sue,’ he recalled shortly and she looked pleased.

In a second or two he had assessed her. A ring. Biting into her finger. Married for a while, then. Weight increase from children or comfortable living—perhaps both. Her clothes were good, her hair professionally tinted.

She didn’t interest him. He turned his gaze back to Laura, drawn by her mute dismay and her total stillness. And those incredible black-fringed eyes.

‘W-what…are you doing here?’ she stumbled breathily.

Cassian’s mouth tightened, his brows knitted heavily with impatience. She didn’t know! Tony had taken the coward’s way out, it seemed, and not told his adopted sister what he’d done with the house he’d inherited on his father’s death. Little rat! Selfish to the last!

‘I gather Tony didn’t warn you I was coming,’ he grated.

Her lips parted in dismay and began to tremble. For the first time he realised they weren’t thin and tight at all, but full and soft like the bruised petals of a rose.

‘No!’ She looked at him in consternation. ‘I—I haven’t heard from him for nearly two years!’

‘I see,’ he clipped.

The frightened Laura flicked a nervous glance at the removal van. Her brow furrowed in confusion and she bit that plush lower lip with neat white teeth as the truth apparently dawned.

‘You’re not…oh, no! No!’ she whispered in futile denial, her hands restlessly twisting together.

And he wanted to shake her. It annoyed him intensely that she hadn’t changed. This was the old Laura, self-effacing, timid, frightened. He did the maths. She’d been fifteen when he’d left. That made her twenty-seven now. Old enough to realise that she was missing out on life.

His scowl deepened and she shrank back as if he’d hit her, then with a muttered exclamation she whirled and frantically grabbed a tea towel, beginning to polish the hell out of some cutlery that was drying on the drainer. It was a totally illogical thing to do, but typical.

Cassian felt the anger remorselessly expanding his chest. His eyes darkened to black coals beneath his heavy brows.

She’d always been desperately cleaning things in an attempt to be Enid’s little angel, not realising that she would never achieve her aim and she might as well cut loose and fling her dinner at the vicious old woman.

It appalled him that she hadn’t come out of her shell. Well, she’d have to do just that, from this moment on.

‘Just stop doing that for a moment.’

Grim-faced, he took a step nearer and she looked up warily, all moist-eyed and trembling.

‘I—I need to!’ she blurted out.

‘Displacement therapy?’ he suggested irritably.

Close up, he was surprised by the sweetness of her face. It was small and heart-shaped with sharply defined cheekbones and a delicate nose. Her rich brown hair looked nondescript and badly cut—though clean and shiny in the morning light which streamed through the window. His sharp senses picked up the scent of lavender emanating from her.

And signs of fear. Although her body was rigid, there was a tiny twitch at the corner of her mouth where she was trying to control a quivering lip. Perhaps she knew his arrival presented some sort of threat to her beloved security, he mused.

‘I—I don’t know what you mean!’ she protested.

Her whole body had adopted a defensive pose. Arms across breasts. Shoulders hunched, eyes wary. He sighed. This wouldn’t be easy.

‘I realise this is a shock, me barging in, but I didn’t expect to see anyone here,’ he said gruffly, softening his voice a little without intending to.

‘Tony gave you a key!’ she cried, bewildered.

‘That’s right.’

‘Why?’

He frowned. She’d sussed out the situation, hadn’t she? ‘To get in,’ he said drily.

‘But…’

He saw her swallow, the sweet curve of her throat pale against the faded blue of her threadbare shirt. Noticing his gaze, she blushed and put down the tea towel, her hand immediately lifting again to conceal the tatty collar.

His body-reading skills came automatically into use. Obviously she was poor. And she was proud, he noted. Slender hands, roughened from physical work. Pale face… Indoor work, then. She must be on night shifts—or out of a job, since she was home on a weekday.

Not married or engaged, no sign of a ring. But several pictures of a child in the room. Baby shots, a toddler, a school snap of a kid a bit younger than his own son. He felt intrigued. Wanted to learn more.

‘I’m confused. That removal van…’ She cleared her throat, her voice shaking with nerves. ‘It can’t…it doesn’t mean that…that Tony has let you stay here with me?!’ she asked in a horrified croak.

So that was what she’d thought. ‘No. It doesn’t. But—’

‘Oh!’ she cried, interrupting him. ‘That’s a relief!’

He was diverted before he could correct the conclusion she’d drawn. Laura’s slender body had relaxed as if she’d let out a tense breath, the action drawing his eyes down to where her breasts might be hiding beneath the shirt which was at least two sizes too big.

Fascinated by her, he kept his investigation going and finished his scrutiny, observing the poor quality of her skirt and scuffed sneakers. Long legs, though. Slightly tanned, slender and shapely.

He felt a kick of interest in his loins and strangled it at birth. Laura wasn’t his kind of woman. He adored women of all kinds, but he preferred them with fire coming out of their ears.

‘Laura,’ he began, unusually hesitant.

Sue jumped in. ‘Hang on. If you haven’t come to stay, why bring a removal van?’ she asked in a suspicious tone.

‘I’m about to explain,’ he snapped.

He frowned at her because he didn’t want her to be there. This was between him and Laura. Like it or not, Laura would have to go and he didn’t want anyone else complicating matters when he told her the truth.

He’d tell her straight, no messing. Disguising the news with soft words wouldn’t make a scrap of difference to the situation.

He sought Laura’s wondering gaze again, strangely irritated by her quietly desperate passivity. She ought to be yelling at him, demanding to know what he was doing, persuading him to go and never return. But she meekly waited for the world to fall in on her.

He wanted to jerk her into life. To make her lose her temper and to see some passion fly. At the same time, he felt an overwhelming urge to protect her as he might protect a defenceless animal or a tiny baby. She was too vulnerable for her own good. Too easy to wound. Hell, what was he going to do?

In two strides he’d breached the distance between them. With the wall behind her, she had nowhere to go though he had the impression that she would have vanished through it if she could.

Grimly he took her arm, felt her quiver when he did so. Looking deeply into her extraordinary eyes, he saw that she recognised he was going to tell her something unpleasant.

‘Sit down,’ he ordered, hating the way she made him feel. Firmly he pushed her rigid body into the kitchen chair.

And inexplicably he kept a hand on her shoulder, intensely aware of its fragility, of the fineness of the bone structure of her face as she stared up at him in fear and apprehension, drowning him, making him flounder with those great big eyes.

‘What is it?’ she whispered.

Feeling distinctly unsettled by her, he dragged up a chair and sat close to her. Immediately she shrank away from him, covering her knees with her hands primly. His mouth tightened.

He loathed seeing her like this, a slave to her past, to the constant belittling by Enid which had relentlessly ground away her confidence. It had been just like the elements, the wind and the rain out there on the moors, grinding down solid rock over the years. She needed to leave. To find life. Her true self.

Confused by his own passionate views of Laura’s future, he plunged in, eager to send her out into the world.

‘When I said that I’m not staying here with you, Laura,’ he said firmly, ‘I meant that you won’t be living here at all. I’ve bought Thrushton Hall from Tony. I’m moving in.’

‘Moving…in?’

She was blinking, her eyes glazed over as if she didn’t understand. He tried again so that there would be no mistake.

‘Correct. You, Laura, will have to move out. Pronto.’

Laura let out a strangled gasp. Her stomach went into free fall, making her feel faint.

‘No!’ she whispered in pure horror. ‘This is my home! All I’ve ever known! Tony wouldn’t do that to me!’

‘Yes, he would,’ Sue muttered. ‘He’s a loathsome little creep.’

‘That’s true,’ Cassian said in heartfelt agreement.

Laura stared at the implacable Cassian, her brain in a fog. ‘This is ridiculous! I live here!’

‘Not any more.’

She gave a little cry. ‘I’ve been paying the bills and maintaining the house ever since Tony disappeared! You—you can’t turn us out of here!’ she said weakly.

‘Us.’

Suddenly alert, he turned to scan the photographs around the room, his eyebrows asking an unspoken question.

‘My son,’ she mumbled, still dazed by Cassian’s announcement. ‘Adam,’ she added blankly as tears of despair welled up in her eyes. ‘He’s nine.’ She saw Cassian’s eyes narrow, as he began to make a calculation and she jumped in before he could say anything. ‘Yes, if you’re wondering, I was eighteen when he was born!’ she defied hysterically, bracing herself for some sign of disapproval.

Cassian, however, seemed unfazed. ‘You and your son,’ he said quietly. ‘No one else living with you?’

Suddenly she wanted to startle him as he’d startled her. Panic and fear were making her unstable. A spurt of anger flashed through her and with uncharacteristic impetuosity she answered;

‘I’m totally alone. I never had a husband—or even a partner!’

Everyone here knew how the travelling salesman from Leeds had flattered her by pretending she was beautiful. He must have seen a gauche, nervous and drab female in ill-fitting clothes and decided it would be easy for his silver tongue to dazzle her. Laura realised now that her transparent innocence, coupled with her teenage desperation to be loved, had been her downfall.

She flinched. There had been one fateful evening of bewilderment and repugnance—on her part—and then the arrival of Adam, nine months later. The shame of what she’d done would live with her for ever. And yet she had Adam, who’d brought joy to her dreary life.

Annoyingly, Cassian took her confession in his stride. ‘I see,’ he said non-committally.

Laura stiffened. ‘No you don’t!’ she wailed. ‘You stroll in here, claiming you’ve bought Thrushton Hall—’

‘Want to see the deeds?’ he enquired, foraging in the back pocket of his jeans.

The colour drained from her face when she saw the document he was holding out to her. Snatching it from him, she frantically unfolded it and read the first few lines, her heart contracting more and more as the truth sank in.

This was Cassian’s house. She would have to leave. Her legs trembled.

‘No! I don’t believe it!’ she whispered, aghast.

Despite the harshness of her childhood, this house held special memories. It was where her mother had lived. Deprived of any tangible memories of her mother, it comforted her that she walked in her mother’s footsteps every day of her life. And Cassian intended to drive her away.

‘You have no choice.’

Her head snapped up, sending her hair whirling about her set face. A frightening wildness was possessing her. Hot on its heels came an urge to lash out and pummel Cassian till his composure vanished and he began to notice her as a person instead of an irritating obstacle he needed to kick out of his way.

Her emotions terrified and appalled her. They seemed to fill her body, surging up uncontrollably with an evil, unstoppable violence. She fought them, groping for some kind of discipline over them because she didn’t know what would happen if she ever allowed those clamouring passions to surface.

‘You don’t want this house! You can’t possibly want to live here!’ she whispered, hoarse with horror.

His calm, oddly warm eyes melted into hers.

‘I do. I can.’

She took a deep, shuddering breath but she was losing a battle with her temper. Her child’s security was threatened. She wouldn’t allow that.

‘This is my home!’ she insisted tightly, clinging for dear life to the last vestiges of restraint. ‘Adam’s home!’

He shrugged as if homes were unimportant. ‘I had the impression that it was Tony’s. Now it’s mine. Do you pay rent?’

‘N-no—’

‘Then you have no legal rights to stay.’

Laura gasped, her hand flying to her mouth in consternation. ‘Surely I do! I must have some kind of protection—’

‘There could be an expensive legal case,’ he conceded. ‘But you’d have to go eventually. You’d save time and hassle if you did so straight away.’ He smiled in a friendly way, as if that would console her. ‘You’ll find somewhere else. You might discover that moving from Thrushton turns out to be a good idea in the long run.’

She glared and was incensed when his eyes flickered with satisfaction. It was as if he welcomed her anger!

‘What do you know?’ she yelled. Dear heaven! she thought. She was losing control, acting like a banshee—and couldn’t stop herself! ‘It’s a stupid idea! For a start, I don’t have any money!’ she choked, scarlet from the shameful admission. But he had to know her circumstances. ‘There’s nowhere I can go!’ she cried in agitation. ‘Nowhere I can afford!’

He continued to gaze at her with a steely eye, his heart clearly unmoved by her plight. And she knew that her hours in her beloved house—his house, she thought furiously—were probably numbered.

‘It’s true. She’s dead broke. Lost her job,’ confirmed Sue, suddenly butting in. Cassian jerked his head around in surprise as if he, like Laura, had forgotten Sue was there. ‘I reckon she can stay put if she chooses—’

‘I don’t deny that.’ Cassian flung an arm across the back of the chair, his eyes relentlessly fixed to Laura’s. She flinched as his expression darkened, becoming unnervingly menacing. ‘But you ought to know that living with me wouldn’t be pleasant,’ he drawled.

‘Meaning?’ Sue demanded.

He shrugged. ‘I’d be…difficult.’ His eyes seemed to be issuing a direct challenge. ‘I’d eat her food, play music late at night, change the locks…’ There was a provocative curve to his mouth, something…unnerving in his expression as his gaze swept her up and down. ‘Laura, I’m not changing my way of living for anybody, and I have the distinct impression that you’d be shocked by the way I wander about half-naked after my morning shower, with just a small towel covering me and my—’

‘Please!’ she croaked.

‘I’m just warning you,’ he murmured with a shrug.

She felt hot. The rawness of his huge energy field reached out to enfold her in its greedy clasp and she instinctively flattened herself against the back of the chair.

She blushed, ashamed to be assailed by the unwanted rivulets of molten liquid which were coursing through her veins. His sexuality was too blatant, too unavoidable. This was something alien to her and she couldn’t cope with it. Didn’t want it at all. Living with him would be a nightmare.

‘It’s no use! I can’t stay if he’s living here!’ she declared to Sue shakily. ‘Sharing would be impossible!’

‘Don’t you give up!’ Sue snapped. She glared at Cassian. ‘Laura’s been far too sheltered all her life to manage anywhere else—so you leave her alone, you ruthless, selfish brute. Push off back where you came from!’

Cassian rose, his eyes dark and glittering. ‘I’m not going anywhere, whatever insults you choose to hurl at me. I’m moving in, once the removal men have finished their early lunch.’

‘Lunch?’ With a start, Sue glanced at the kitchen clock and let out a groan. ‘Oh, crikey! My dental appointment! Never mind. I’ll cancel it,’ she offered urgently. ‘You need backup, Laura—’

‘No,’ she said quickly, sick with nerves, hating the wobble in her voice.

This was her battle. Sue was making things worse. Cassian had visibly tensed when Sue had shouted at him. He’d listen to logic, she was sure, but he wouldn’t be bullied.

Proud and erect, she stood up with great dignity, conscious, however, that her five-seven didn’t impinge on Cassian’s six foot.

And they were now only inches apart, waves of heat thickening the space between them, pouring into her, the heavy, lifeless air clogging up her throat. Laura gulped, feeling that all the power was draining from her legs till they trembled from weakness.

‘Well! Are you fighting me, Laura?’ he taunted.

Rebellion drained away too when she met his challenging eyes. His confidence was daunting. How could she fight him when he held all the cards?

‘I—I…’

‘Still the mouse,’ he mocked, but with a hint of regret in his dark regard. ‘Still meekly huddling in the corner, afraid of being trodden on.’

‘You rat!’ Sue gasped.

‘It’s true!’ he cried, his voice shaking in an inexplicable passion. ‘She can’t even stand up for her own flesh and blood!’

‘Leave her alone!’ Sue raged.

‘I can’t! She has to go! I have no intention of having a lodger around!’ Cassian snapped.

With a whimper, Laura jerked her head away and found herself staring straight at the photo she’d taken of her son on his ninth birthday. Her heart lurched miserably.

Adam looked ecstatic. They’d spent the day at Skipton, where they’d explored the castle, picnicked by the river, and splashed out on a special treat of tea and cakes in a cosy café. Cheap and simple as day trips went, but a joy for both of them.

The recriminations surrounding his conception had been hard to bear. Yet, even in the depths of her shame, Laura had felt a growing joy. This child was hers. And when he was born, her emotions had overwhelmed her, unnerving her with their unexpected intensity.

Love had poured from her and it had felt as if her heart would burst with happiness. She’d never known she had such feelings. Her child had reached into her very core and found a well of passion hidden there.

For hours she had cuddled her baby, his warm, living flesh snuggling up to her. And it had been more than compensation for the hard, unremitting drudgery which Enid had imposed on her as a punishment for her ‘lewd behaviour’.

She’d hardly cared because she had had her son to love. Someone to love her back.

Laura squared her shoulders. She would never let him down. Adam was horribly vulnerable and deeply sensitive. Cassian couldn’t be allowed to uproot them both. Did he honestly imagine that they’d pack their bags without a murmur, and tramp the streets like vagabonds till someone took them in?

She flung up her head and spoke before she changed her mind. ‘You’re wrong about me! I will fight you for my home! Tooth and nail—’

‘To defend your lion cub,’ he murmured, his voice low and vibrating.

Her eyes hardened at his mockery. ‘For the sake of my son,’ she corrected in scathing tones, infuriated by his condescension. ‘Sue, get going. I can deal with this better on my own. Besides, I’d rather you didn’t witness the blood he sheds,’ she muttered through her teeth.

‘Sounds promising,’ Cassian remarked lazily.

Laura ignored him because she thought she might choke with anger if she said anything. The situation clearly amused him. For her, it was deadly serious.

‘Come on, Sue. Off you go and get those molars drilled,’ she ordered tightly.

Secretly astonished by her own curt and decisive manner, she pushed her protesting friend towards the door.

Naturally, Sue resisted. ‘I can’t believe this! The worm turns! This I’ve gotta see!’

‘I’ll get the camera out,’ Laura muttered. ‘Please, please, go!’

‘I want close-ups!’ Sue hissed. ‘A blow by blow account, when I get back!’

‘Whatever! Go!’

It took her a minute or two before Sue could be budged but eventually she went, flinging dark and lurid warnings in Cassian’s direction and promising Laura a stick of rock from Hong Kong to brain Cassian with if he was still around.

Quivering like a leaf, Laura shut the door, braced herself, and turned to face him. With Sue gone, it felt as if she was very alone. And she would be—till the following afternoon. Adam was going to his best friend’s house after school and sleeping over. It was just her and Cassian, then.

Her heart thudded loudly in her chest at the strange pall of silence which seemed to have fallen on the house, intensifying the strained atmosphere.

Cassian was looking at her speculatively, his eyes half-closed in contemplation, a half-smile on his lips.

‘It’s a problem, isn’t it?’ he said mildly.

‘The camera or the blood?’ she flung back with rare sarcasm.

The black eyes twinkled disconcertingly. ‘You and me. In this house together.’

The huskiness of his voice took her by surprise. It contrasted oddly with the intensity of his manner. There was a determined set to his jaw and the arch of his sensual mouth had flattened into a firm line.

‘You can live anywhere. I can’t—’ she began.

‘You must have friends who’d take you in,’ he purred.

‘I couldn’t impose!’

‘You don’t have a choice.’

She felt close to tears of anger and frustration.

‘You don’t understand! I have to stay!’ she insisted frantically.

‘Why?’

‘Because…’ She went scarlet.

‘Yes?’ he prompted.

She stared at him, unwilling to expose her fear. But she saw no other way out.

Her eyes blazed with loathing. ‘If you really want to know, I’m scared of going anywhere else!’ she cried shakily.

He raised a sardonic eyebrow. ‘Then it’s time you did.’

She gasped. So much for compassion. But Cassian would never know what it was to be uncertain and shy, or to be uncomfortable in unfamiliar surroundings. Her pulses pounded as her heart rate accelerated.

‘There’s more,’ she said, her lips dry with fear.

‘Yes?’

She swallowed. This was deeply personal. Normally, wild horses wouldn’t have dragged this out of her, but Cassian had to realise what this house meant to her.

‘My…’ She felt a fool. He was looking at her with cold hard eyes and she was having to expose her innermost secrets. For Adam, she told herself. And found the strength. Her eyes blazed blue and bright into his. ‘My mother lived here,’ she began tightly. ‘So?’

She drew in a sharp breath of irritation. This wasn’t going to get her anywhere. But…he’d adored his own mother. Wouldn’t he understand?

‘Cassian,’ she grated. ‘Is your mother still alive?’

He looked puzzled. ‘Yes. Why?’

Thank heaven. Maybe she had a chance. ‘You still see her, speak to her?’

‘She’s remarried. She lives in France, but yes, I see her. And I speak to her each week. What are you getting at?’ he asked curiously.

She offered up a small prayer to the Fates. ‘Imagine not knowing anything about her. Not even how she looked. Think what it would have been like, not to know that she’s beautiful, a gifted artist, and full of life and fire!’ Her eyes glowed feverishly with desperate passion.

‘I don’t see the—’

‘Well, that’s how it is for me!’ she cried shakily. ‘No one will speak of my mother and all trace of her was removed the day she left.’ Her voice broke and she took a moment to steady herself. ‘I wouldn’t know anything at all about her if it wasn’t for Mr Walker—’

‘Who?’ he exclaimed sharply.

‘He’s someone in the village. A lonely old man with a vile temper but he can’t walk far so I do his weekly shopping. He gives me a list and money for what he needs. I lug his shopping back, he complains about half of it and we both feel better.’

Her eyes went dreamy for a moment. Out of the blue, Mr Walker had once said that her mother was lovely. In his opinion, he’d said, Diana had been wasted on boring George Morris.

‘What did he say about her?’ Cassian asked warily.

She was surprised he was interested, but she smiled, remembering. ‘That she was passionate about life.’

‘Anything else?’

‘Yes. He said she was kind and very beautiful.’ Laura sighed. ‘Since I’m nothing like that, I think he was probably winding me up. When I asked him for more information he refused to say anything else.’

‘I see,’ he clipped, dark brows meeting hard together.

‘The point is that this house means more to me than just bricks and mortar and general sentimentality.’ Desperate now, she felt herself leaning forwards, punching out her words. ‘Thrushton Hall is all I have of my mother!’ she jerked out miserably.

‘Surely you must know about your mother—!’

‘No! I don’t!’ Wouldn’t he listen to her? Hadn’t he heard? ‘I don’t know what she looked like, how or why she left me, nothing!’

She was aware of Cassian’s stunned expression and took heart. He would see her plight and take pity on her.

‘Cassian, other than the house, I have nothing else to remember her by, not one single item she ever possessed. Everything has vanished. The only actual trace of her is me!’

She steadied her voice, aware that it had been shaking so strongly with emotion that she’d been almost incoherent.

‘I don’t believe this!’ he muttered.

‘It’s true!’ she cried desperately. ‘I’ve had to rely on my imagination! I’ve visualised her in this house, doing everyday things. That is where she must have stood to wash up, to cook,’ she cried, pointing with a fierce jab of her finger. ‘She must have sat at that very table to eat, to drink cups of tea. She would have stood at that window and gazed at the view of the soaring fells, just as I do. I can imagine her here and think of her going about her daily life. If—if I leave Thrushton,’ she stumbled, ‘I would have to leave behind those fragile half-memories of my mother. I’d have nothing at all left of her—and the little that I have is infinitely precious to me!’ she sobbed.

She saw Cassian’s jaw tighten and waited seemingly for an eternity before he answered.

‘You must make enquiries about her,’ he muttered, his tone flat and toneless.

Laura stared at him helplessly. How could she do that?

‘I can’t,’ she retorted miserably.

‘Afraid?’ he probed, his eyes unusually watchful.

‘Yes, if you must know!’ she retorted with a baleful glare.

‘Laura, you need to know—’

‘I can’t,’ she cried helplessly. ‘She’s probably started a new life somewhere and I could ruin it by turning up on her doorstep. I couldn’t do that to her. If it was all right for us to meet, she would have come to see me. I can’t take the initiative, can I?’

He was silent, his face stony. But she knew what he was thinking. That perhaps her mother hadn’t wanted to be reminded of her ‘mistake’.

Closing her mind to such a horrible idea, she lifted her chin in an attempt to appear tough. Though even a fool would have noticed her stupid, feeble trembling.

‘You must learn the truth—’ he began huskily.

‘No!’

She wrung her hands, frustrated that he couldn’t see how scared she was of confronting her mother. Maybe she was flighty. Maybe she’d had a string of lovers. Maybe…

‘Cassian,’ she croaked, voicing her worst fear, ‘I can’t pursue this. I—I just couldn’t face being rejected by her.’

‘I don’t think—’

‘How the devil do you know!’ she yelled. ‘She left me, didn’t she? Though…I suppose she knew that George would have won custody, whatever she did. She’d run away. He’d been looking after me and was a lawyer, after all. Mother must have known she didn’t have a chance. To be honest, I don’t even know if there was a court hearing about me. There might have been—and she might have tried to take me with her. I’ll never know. Nobody would ever talk about her.’ Slowly her head lifted till her troubled eyes met Cassian’s. ‘Mr Walker said she was full of life. Knowing how your mother felt, I understand why anyone with fire and energy would have found it difficult to live here,’ she said with dignity.

Cassian looked uncomfortable. ‘Laura,’ he said in a gravelly voice, ‘this is nothing to do with me. Not one of your arguments is sufficient reason for you to stay. Excuse me.’

He strode into the hall. She heard the sound of men moving about, presumably bringing in his possessions. She buried her head in her hands. She’d failed.

Cassian saw her emerging from the kitchen a few moments later, her eyes pink from crying, silver tear-track streaks glistening on her face. He gritted his teeth and continued to organise the stacking of his few belongings in the spacious hall.

Behind his bent back, he could hear the fast rasp of her breathing and sensed she was close to hysteria. And he felt as if he’d whipped a puppy.

‘All done, guv,’ announced one of the men.

Grateful for the diversion, he gave Len and Charlie his undivided attention. ‘Thanks. Great meeting you,’ he said warmly, shaking the men’s hands in turn.

He slid his wallet from his back pocket and handed over the fee plus a tip, brushing away their astonished refusals of such a large sum of money. What was cash to him? It came easily and went the same way.

Charlie had told him about his new baby and Len was nearing retirement. They could both do with a little extra and he believed passionately in circulating money while he had the earning power.

‘I had a windfall. Might as well share it, eh?’ he explained. Like an obscene advance from a film company.

‘Yeah? You’re a gent,’ said Len in awe.

‘Thanks,’ added Charlie, looking stunned.

‘Have a pint on me.’

Len grinned. ‘Treat the wife to a slap-up meal and a holiday, more like!’

‘Buy a baby buggy!’ enthused Charlie.

He saw them out, found them shaking his hand again and accepted an invitation to visit Charlie’s baby and to have tea and cakes with Len and his wife. After much scribbling of addresses, he returned to the tense and angry Laura.

‘What are you trying to do by gossiping out there—drive me to screaming pitch?!’ she demanded furiously, her hands on shapely hips.

He stole a moment to admire them. ‘Being friendly. Would you prefer I dismissed them with a curt nod and a growl?’ he enquired.

She flushed. ‘No…oh, you’re impossible!’

He felt pleased. Her eyes were sparkling, a hot flush brightening her cheeks. If only he could release her emotions…

He bit back an impulse to invite her to stay so he could do just that, and followed up her remark instead.

‘I just live by a different code from you. Now…will I push you into suicide mode if I just check I’ve got all my possessions here?’

She blinked her huge eyes, dark lashes fluttering as she eyed the stack of boxes, his luggage, and three bags of shopping.

‘Do you mean…that this is all you own in the whole world?’

‘It’s all I need. Books, computer stuff and a few mementoes. Plus a few changes of clothes and some food stores.’

‘I don’t understand you,’ she muttered.

‘Not many people do. Now, this is what I’ve decided,’ he said brusquely, suddenly needing to get away from the censure of her accusing eyes. ‘I’d booked a room in a hotel in Grassington because I didn’t know what state the house would be in. I’ll go there now and leave you to start looking for temporary accommodation. Someone will take you in for a few days till you can find somewhere permanent. I’ll be back in the morning. To take possession.’

He turned on his heel. Flinched at her horrified intake of breath as it rasped through emotion-choked airways.

‘Cassian!’ she pleaded in desperation.

But he’d opened the door, was striding up the path and ignoring the sound of her weeping. It would be good for her, he kept telling himself, wrenching at the door handle of his car.

She needed to find out the truth about her mother. But first she’d have to stand up for herself, to gain some strength of will—and being forced to move would make her take her life in her hands at last.

He crunched the gears. And accelerated away, angry with her for making him feel such a swine.