Оглавление
Sari Boone's Solden. Women With Attention Deficit Disorder: Embrace Your Differences and Transform Your Life
INTRODUCTORY SECTION. FOREWORD TO THE NEW EDITION by Edward T. Hallowell, M.D. (2005)
ORIGINAL FOREWORD by John J. Ratey, M.D. (1993)
INTRODUCTION TO THE NEW EDITION by Peggy Ramundo and Kate Kelly
ORIGINAL INTRODUCTION by Peggy Ramundo and Kate Kelly
BEGINNINGS. AUTHOR’S PREFACE
Why I Chose to Write a Book on Women with AD/HD
Perspective
The Scope and Focus of this Book
The Characters in the Book
Overview
AUTHOR’S INTRODUCTION TO REVISED EDITION
A Pocket Guide to AD/HD
Defining AD/HD
Diagnosing AD/HD is Complex
The Information Highway in Your Head
Seeing is Believing
The Many Faces of AD/HD
AD/HD by Any Other Name . . The Names Change, but the Facts Remain the Same
Different Types of AD/HD (as of this writing) AD/HD Hyperactive/Impulsive Type
AD/HD Inattentive Type
Detailed Breakdown of What AD/HD is and What It’s Not. AD/HD Does NOT = A Deficit of Attention
AD/HD Does NOT = Hyperactivity
AD/HD Does NOT = Impulsive Troublemaking
A Deeper Dive into the Complexities of AD/HD
Can You Have These Symptoms and Not Have AD/HD?
Other Reasons for Symptoms that Mimic AD/HD
Effects of AD/HD
The Impact of AD/HD on Lives
Basic Treatment
Take Away Message
The Buried Treasure
PART I: SURVIVING. CHAPTER ONE. Coming Out of the (Messy) Closet. Introduction to My Personal and Professional Story
Personal Discovery
Living Successfully as a Woman with AD/HD
CHAPTER TWO. An Equal Opportunity Disorder. Girls and AD/HD
AD/HD (Minus the Hyperactivity)
AD/HD GIRLS (with the hyperactivity and impulsivity) Lucy as a Girl
Why AD/HD Goes Undiagnosed Longer in Little Girls
Twelve Years Old and Still Undiagnosed . .
Teenage Years: Lucy in the Sky (without protective factors)
The Seeds Of Self Doubt
CHAPTER THREE “Dance with the Lady with the Hole in Her Stocking” A Portrait of Women’s Lives before Diagnosis. The Secret World
The Good News Is . .
All Grown Up and Still Undiagnosed
“We’ve Only Just Begun”
Let’s Look At Lucy’s Young Adult Years
The Many Roads Taken . .
“Hey, Jod . . . Take a Sad Song and Make it Better . . .”
Married without Children
Married with Child
School Daze
The Mother of Child with AD/HD
Choice of Partners
Chaotic Partners
Unavailable Partners
Caretaking Partners
Controlling Partners
Summary
CHAPTER FOUR “Who Am I?” and “What’s the Matter with Me?” The Impact on a Woman’s Developing Self-Image
The Inside and the Outside Don’t Match
What’s the Matter With Me?
I Am Incompetent
I Am Immature
I Am an Impostor
Unsolved Mysteries
Trying Harder
To Tell or Not to Tell
To Be or Not To Be
CHAPTER FIVE. The Disorder of Dis-order. Understanding Disorganization
Disorganization Affects Cognitive Abilities as Well as the Physical Environment
Do You Suffer from TMS—Time, Money, and Stuff?
Why Do People With AD/HD Have Organizational Difficulties?
Executive Functioning
Activation
Sequencing, Prioritizing, Planning, and Categorizing
Visual Memory: Loose, Shifting Mental Images
The Traditional Triad
Attention
Impulsivity: Excessive Shifting of Attention or Activities
Activity Regulation
Cognitive Challenges
Synthesizing Ideas
PART II: HIDING. CHAPTER SIX. The Job from Hell. A Woman’s Job Description
Why AD/HD Impacts Women Differently Than Men
The Ideal Candidate
Summary of a Woman’s Basic Job Description
Feelings of Failure
Feelings of Failure to Perform and Conform to Role Expectations
Feelings of Failure in Feminine Identity
Feelings of Failure as Partner or Mother
Women’s Basic Job Description at Work
Women’s (Unspoken) Job Descriptions at Work
Summary
CHAPTER SEVEN. The Emotional Legacy. Shame and Guilt
Culturally Transmitted Messages
General Messages to All Women
Guilt
Shame
The Rhodes Scholar
Personal Maligning Messages
“You” Messages
“She” Messages
Hiding the “Shameful” Secret
Summary. Going With the (Emotional) Flow
CHAPTER EIGHT. Secondary Effects. Underachievement and a Depressed Mood
Underachievement
Getting Stuck
The Assertion Blues
The Mask of Competency
Depressed Mood
Overwhelmed
Overloaded from Not Saying No
Overworked
Negative Self-talk
Reactivity: The Pressure Points
Quickly Changing Moods
“So tired, tired of waiting . . .”
Summary
CHAPTER NINE. A Third Secondary Effect. Relationships and Self Protection
The Tangled Web We Weave
Self-Protecting
Fear of Being Unmasked
Feeling Misunderstood
Other Communication Struggles that Make You Feel Misunderstood
Being Misunderstood Because You Are Not Explaining Yourself
Misinterpretation (Creating the Problem You Were Trying to Prevent)
Summary
CHAPTER TEN. Are You Friendship Challenged? Getting Back on the Road to Relationships
As Time Goes By
Disconnecting
Activation
Quick Loss of Energy
Becoming Distracted
Memory Issues
Disorganization
Cognitive Confusion and Difficulty
Feeling Overwhelmed
Problems with Expression
Fear of Feeling Overwhelmed
Fear of a Negative Response
Fear of Not Knowing What to Say
Fear of Not Being Able to Protect Yourself
Fear of Differences
Fear of Feeling the Pain of Underachievement and Failure
Steps to Help with Activation
Steps to Help with Loss of Energy
Steps to Help with Memory Issues
Steps to Help with Disorganization
Steps to Help with Feeling Overwhelmed
Steps to Help with Problems of Expression
Steps to Help with Fears
Fearful Forms of Communication
Emotional Reasons for These Behaviors
Taking the Next Step
Summary
PART III: EMERGING
CHAPTER ELEVEN. Finding Your Way. Self-Assessment and Paths to Diagnosis. Self-Screening. First Steps
Screening Tool
Solden Self-Screening for Women with Attention Deficit Disorder
After Self-screening: Now What?
Paths to Diagnosis. Short Circuiting the Process
Which Professional Should You Start With?
The Quality of the Experience
Before You Go to a Professional
Your First Visit with a Professional
Potential Aspects of the Evaluation Process. The Interview
Testing
Benefits of a Comprehensive Evaluation
Downsides of a Comprehensive Evaluation
The Reporting Session
Summary
CHAPTER TWELVE. Cases of Mistaken Identity. Diagnostic Difficulties for Women
Preview of This Chapter
Why A Woman’s AD/HD May Get Misdiagnosed or Missed Altogether. She Doesn’t “Look” Chaotic
Many Mental Health Professionals Aren’t Trained to Identify AD/HD
A History Lesson
Childhood Histories without Hyperactivity
Childhood Protective Factors
Compensation Blurs the Picture
Cases of Mistaken Identity
1. Cause or Effect
2. Look Alikes
Summary
CHAPTER THIRTEEN. Solden’s “MESST” Model of Treatment. Medication, Education, Strategies, Support, and Therapy
AFTER THE DIAGNOSIS: AN OVERVIEW OF THE PROCESS
The Grief Cycle
Denial
Anger
Bargaining
Depression
Acceptance
Solden’s MESST Model. THE “MESST” MODEL
CHAPTER FOURTEEN. The Beginning of the “MESST” Medication. Running on Empty
Not in Kansas Anymore
Overview
My Take on Taking Medication
A Balanced Approach?
The Decision Making Process
What if You Can’t Take Medication or Don’t Want to
What Kinds of Doctors Prescribe AD/HD Medication
Before You Go to the Doctor
Working with Your Doctor Who Is Working with Your Brain
Why Do All the Experts Have Different Approaches?
Where to Find the Right Doctor for You
Overview of Medications Used for Adults with AD/HD. Stigma, Suspicion, and Safety
What Are the Goals of Using AD/HD Medication?
How Medications Work for AD/HD
Types of Medications Used for Adults with AD/HD. Stimulants
Types of Stimulants
Non-Stimulant Medication Sometimes Used for AD/HD Symptoms
Other Medications That Target Accompanying Conditions
Antidepressants: SSRI (Selective Serotonin Reuptake Inhibitors)
Your Experience of Being on Medications. Dosing and Side Effects
How to Monitor the Effectiveness of Your Medication
Range of Feelings You May Experience When Using Medications
Summary
CHAPTER FIFTEEN “Let’s Get Physical” Women’s Treatment Issues
The Cycle of Changes
Women, Hormones, and AD/HD
PMS
Perimenopause and Menopause
Pregnancy
Eating Disorders
Substance Abuse and Addictions
Summary
CHAPTER SIXTEEN. The Middle of the “MESST” Education and Strategies
Education
Gathering Information
Emotional Education
Strategies
“TMS” and the Four Different Types of Strategies
Time
Money
Stuff
One Size Does Not Fit All!
Life Style Changes: Body and Soul
Helpers for the Messy Internal World
Extra Strategies
Conclusion
CHAPTER SEVENTEEN. The Rest of the Middle of the “MESST” Support
Support Groups
Support Services
Do Not Try This at Home Alone
The Right Kind of Help
Personal Assistant
Professional Organizers
Emotional Issues Related to Getting Support Services
Keeping Pace with Success
Spring Cleaning the Internal World
Coaching for AD/HD
Different Focuses
How Coaching Can Help
Self-check to Determine if Coaching Is for You
Possible Roadblocks
Summary
CHAPTER EIGHTEEN. The End of the “MESST” Therapy
Internal Barriers that May Prevent You from Moving Forward
Common Themes Addressed in Counseling for Women with AD/HD
Counseling Goals
What Happens When You Make Changes in the Family System
Power Shifts
Effective Approaches and Pitfalls in Counseling
What to Look for in Individual Counseling
Couples Counseling
Goals for Couples Counseling
Effective Approaches
Balance
Calming Things Down
Communication and Empathy
Attributions and Wounding
Positive Relationships
Help for “Mixed” Marriages
Group Counseling
Summary
PART IV: EMBRACING. Diamonds in the Rough
CHAPTER NINETEEN. From Chaos to Creation. Learning to Embrace Disorganization. Embrace Disorganization?
The Three R’s to Successfully Living with AD/HD
Restructuring
Renegotiating
Redefining
CHAPTER TWENTY. Are You Staying or Going? Restructuring Your Work Life
Balancing Your Work Life
Strengths and Deficits
Your Needs vs. Other’s Needs
Balancing Personal Life and Work Life
Examining Your Current Work Life. If You Aren’t Currently Working Outside the Home: Time and Space
Thinking About Jobs
Roadblocks to Career Information Gathering
Strategies for Successful Information Gathering
If You Are Currently Working
Reasonable Changes in Your Physical Environment
Structure and Stimulation
Activity/Energy Levels
External Barriers to an Effective Working Environment
Knowing When it’s Time to Leave and Preparing for This Change
Internal Barriers to Change
A Work Decision Tree
SOLDEN’S AD/HD WORK DECISION TREE
Summary
CHAPTER TWENTY-ONE. Shake, Rattle, and Roles. Restructuring Your Personal Life
A Balancing Act
Balance of Strengths and Deficits at Home
Your Needs vs. Other’s Needs at Home
Balance in Home Life
Examining The Division of Labor
Meeting of the Minds: Eight Talking Points
Taking a Fresh Look at Rules and Roles Within the Family
Too Many Tasks
TASK DIVISION CHART
Summary: And Now, For the Rest of Jodi’s Story . .
CHAPTER TWENTY-TWO. Yours, Mine, and Ours. Renegotiating Relationships
Renegotiating In Your Personal Life. Toxic Help
Setting Limits
Globally Dismissed
Dominance, Dependency and Other Fears
Four Steps to Renegotiating Relationships
Validation
Negotiation
Appreciation
Reciprocation
Putting the Four Steps Together
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ Woman with AD/HD. Validation
Negotiation
Appreciation
Reciprocation
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ Partner without AD/HD
Validation
Negotiation
Appreciation
Reciprocation
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ Looking for Common Ground
Renegotiating Social Obligations with Friends, Family and Other Groups
Staying Over with Friends or Relatives
But I’m No Good in the Kitchen
Social Gatherings
Committees, Boards, and Other Volunteer Groups
Renegotiating At Work and College
Positive Communication
Ways to Get Coaching at Work
More Formal Assistance
College: Open Lines of Communication
Before You Go to College
CHAPTER TWENTY-THREE. One of a Kind. Redefining Your Self-Image
REDEFINING YOUR CORE SELF-CONCEPT
Self-Talk
Redefining at Work. Changing Your Image
Self Image for Young Women
Redefining In Your Personal Life. Partnerships
Grief Cycle for Non-AD/HD Partners
When Your Partner Feels Stuck
A Whole New Cycle Begins
AFTER WORDS. Women’s Voices
Question – September 2002
Sari’s response:
Question – August 2002
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Question – June 2002
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Question – July 2002
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Question – May 2002
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Dear Sari – April 2002
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Dear Sari – March 2002
Question – March 2002
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Question – Nov 2001
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Dear Sari – September 2001
Dear Reader,
Question – May 2001
Dear Reader,
Dear Sari – January 2001
Sari’s response
Dear Sari
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Dear Sari
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Question
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Question – January 2000
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Question
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Question – December 1999
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Question – November 1999
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RECOMMENDED RESOURCES
FOR MENTAL HEALTH PROFESSIONALS WORKING WITH ADULTS WITH ADD
BIBLIOGRAPHY
ACKNOWLEDGMENTS TO THE REVISED EDITION
ACKNOWLEDGMENTS FROM ORIGINAL EDITION (1993)
ABOUT THE AUTHOR
