Читать книгу Dado Island. The Superstitious Democracy - Саша Кругосветов - Страница 7

A mighty charismatic Zebu emerged from the new generation of bulls, a beast who understood that things could not continue in the same way and that the time had come to dismantle the Zebu nomenclature. He found some allies, and together they began building a new society built on democratic principles. The lemurs, crocodiles, lizards, snakes and others who had been driven out returned, and the party ‘Your United Maidan’ (YUM) was founded.

A parliament, government and judiciary were set up. Immediately those lizards that had previously been accepted into the WORKCORPS turned around and joined the new party, alongside some of the bulls who had been WORKCORPS members. Soon the fattest and most insolent lizards, crocodiles, and snakes were the most influential force in YUM, while the charismatic bull and the other animals who had been tempted by the idea of unity were pushed aside and forgotten. But the name ‘Your United Maidan’ remained.

What was the YUM party like? And what did the administration look like in democratic Maidan?

YUM was called the Lizard Party, and it brought together ordinary lizards, chameleons, iguanas, grass snakes, boas, crocodiles, geckos, tortoises and skinks. It was a very progressive party that did not admit poisonous animals as members, but then there had never been any poisonous animals on Maidan Island anyway. But who deserves the credit for that? Of course, YUM!

‘But who are those geckos and skinks?’

‘Geckos are small, very quick-moving lizards with five hairy toes on each foot. The patch on their hairy toes consists of millions of very fine nano-hairs that are tens of thousands of times thinner than human hair. These hairs make it possible for the animal to hold on to absolutely smooth surfaces thanks to intermolecular interaction. The animal’s toes easily ‘stick to’ and ‘come unstuck from’ surfaces without using any glue. And the gecko can run up and down the walls and along the ceiling without difficulty. Skinks are also unusual lizards: they have blue tongues and very fine scales and they are quite large: they can grow to a length of half a metre.’

Let us carry on. The banner of YUM shows a gigantic monitor lizard. Under the picture of the Monitor an inscription reads: ‘YUM – we eat whoever we catch’. There have never been any monitor lizards on Maidan either, but YUM insisted on using one as their symbol:

‘The Monitor is the embodiment of lizard power. The Monitor is the Comodo Dragon![5] The Monitor is strong, resolute and charismatic. We want order and a strong hand!’

It didn’t take long and YUM had gained the majority in parliament. How could this happen?

Everybody knew that those who didn’t vote for YUM were eaten immediately. Because of that the insects and rodents (who constituted the majority) all voted for YUM.

The other animals told them:

‘If YUM are in power you will be eaten anyway!’

‘No, only those who violate public order will be eaten. But we don’t violate order. In fact we are all in favour of order and a strong hand! Neither the lemurs nor the butterflies nor any of the others will protect us. So why should YUM not be in power?’

YUM distributed all Lizards (aka ‘Unimaniacs’) to the regions – that is, the forests, savannah, river banks and coastal thickets – with the mandate to manage these areas and ensure that public order was observed. The representatives of YUM worked day and night without a letup. They received no salary for their heroic work, but instead they received the respective region to ‘feed on’. This meant that all insects, rodents and other small animals that violated public order were eaten on the spot, as a punishment and for the edification of other troublemakers. Other insects and animals that the rulers liked were also eaten, of course only if they let their guard down and didn’t run away. Letting one’s guard down was to violate the established order. ‘That’s why the pike is in the river, to stop the carp from dozing!’[6]

Some regions on Maidan Island were regions administered by the Lemurs (aka ‘Justimaniacs’) who protected the insects and animals against the Lizards. But the Lemurs were fighting a losing battle against those insolent rogues, while the Lizards continued to lord it over everybody with impunity, including in the Lemurs’ own regions. The insects and rodents complained:

‘See, the Lemurs can’t protect us. In the areas they administer all we see is thuggery and violence. So it’s better when the Lizards are in power. The Lizards are conservative. They preserve all the good things there used to be on Maidan. Under their reign our life is more predictable!’

The Justimaniacs kicked up a fuss, shouted, goggled with their huge eyes and appealed to parliament for help, but they were unable to push through a single ‘just’ resolution because the Unimaniacs had the majority in parliament!