Читать книгу The Nemesis Program - Scott Mariani, Scott Mariani - Страница 16

There was a long, palpable silence in the room. Brooke and Roberta both stared at Jude, then at Ben.

‘Oh, shit,’ Jude murmured, turning a few shades paler as he realised what he’d let slip.

‘What – did – you – just – say?’ Brooke asked him slowly.

‘Nothing,’ Jude stammered.

Ben’s blood had frozen into ice crystals. He’d forgotten to breathe.

‘Yes, you did, Jude,’ Brooke insisted. ‘You said “Dad”.’

Jude looked as if he wanted to run to the window and jump out. ‘It’s just, you know. A figure of speech. Like “daddyo”. The way he’s dressed. Er, or something.’ At that point Jude decided to clamp his mouth shut.

Brooke turned to Ben. ‘Why did he call you that? Why?’

The ice in Ben’s veins turned into molten lava and he felt his face flush. He took a deep breath and said, ‘He’s my son, Brooke.’

‘I thought there was something,’ Roberta murmured, glancing wryly back and forth at the two men.

Brooke seemed to sag as if the air had been sucked out of her. She moved across to a stool by the breakfast bar and sat down heavily on it. She couldn’t speak.

‘Sorry, guys. It just slipped out,’ Jude mumbled. ‘We only found out about it at Christmas,’ he added for Brooke’s benefit, as if that would help.

It took a few moments before Brooke had got her breath back. ‘Would you mind leaving us alone now, please?’ she said softly, looking up at Roberta. ‘Jude? Ben and I need to talk alone.’

‘That’s what I wanted in the first place,’ Ben muttered, shooting an angry look at Jude. Ashen-faced, the young man left the room without a word. Roberta glanced nervously at Ben, then followed Jude out of the door and closed it softly behind her.

Then Ben and Brooke were alone in the silence of the kitchen. She sank deep into agitated thought, wringing her hands. Her long, slim fingers were shaking.

‘Were you ever going to tell me?’ she asked him at last, just above a whisper.

‘I was trying to find the right moment,’ Ben said. ‘It never seemed to come. This wasn’t it either.’

‘Don’t you trust me? Have you no idea how hurtful this is? To be told something like that, in front of a stranger? You must have had a million opportunities—’

‘I didn’t know how you’d take it,’ Ben said. ‘I’m still trying to come to terms with it myself. I should have told you. I was wrong to hold it back for so long. What can I say? I’m deeply sorry.’

‘Oh, Ben,’ she said, looking at him through teary eyes. She seemed about to burst out weeping again, but then she wiped the tears away and her face tightened. He could see a million thoughts racing through her mind. When she spoke again, the cold, simmering rage had returned to her voice. ‘Let me get this right. First there’s this old girlfriend of yours who suddenly turns up virtually on the eve of our wedding and seems to have the power to mesmerise you away, just like that …’

Ben wanted to protest, but he kept grimly quiet.

‘Now I find out that you had a grown-up son you never told me about,’ she went on. ‘Tell me, Ben. What other secrets do I get to find out about the man I was about to marry?’

‘That’s all there is, I promise.’

‘Huh,’ she snorted. ‘There we go. Another promise waiting to be broken. Are you even going to tell me where you’re going, or is that a secret too?’

‘I haven’t had time to think about that.’

‘Enough time to decide to break off the wedding, though! Didn’t take much to make your mind up about that, did it? I’m sure that part was easy for you.’

‘I’m not breaking off anything, goddamn it,’ he said, feeling frustration and anger welling up inside him. He didn’t want to shout. All he wanted was to hold her. He took a step closer to her, reaching out his arms. ‘Brooke—’

‘Don’t you come near me. Don’t touch me.’

He pulled back. His arms dropped helplessly by his sides. ‘You have to understand,’ he urged her. ‘You have to let me deal with this in my own way. Trust me, Roberta is in danger. Someone’s trying to kill her. They almost managed.’

‘And so you’re going to go off and get yourself killed along with her?’ Brooke burst out. ‘I’m sorry if that sounds harsh. But I don’t even know this woman.’

‘You want me to go and tell her she’s on her own?’ Ben hissed, stabbing a pointing finger towards the closed door. ‘You want me to just leave her to the wolves after she came to me for help? I can’t do that, Brooke. I couldn’t live with myself.’ He paused, trying desperately to calm himself. ‘Listen. I’ll come back to you. You know I will. Soon, before you know it. Then we’ll just pick up where we left off, and things will go back to the way they—’

‘Until the next time you go off again,’ she interrupted. ‘And then the next time after that, and the next, until one day you won’t come back, because you’ll be lying dead somewhere.’ Tears were streaming down her face. ‘You’ve cheated me, Ben. You’ve lied to me.’

‘No. I never lied to you.’

‘You’re lying to yourself too,’ she sobbed angrily. ‘This whole thing, you going back to your Theology, all the future plans you talked about, this whole new life that you say you want so much and want me to share with you. It’s nothing but bullshit. This is who you are, this running off and getting into trouble. Risk, danger. You draw it to you like a magnet; you thrive on it. Can’t you see? You love it, deep down. More than you could ever love me. Or your newfound son, for that matter.’

‘You’re wrong about me,’ he said.

‘Then show me I’m wrong. Prove it to me by dropping this whole awful idea, and staying here with me like you promised.’

He shook his head firmly. ‘I can’t. I’m sorry, but that’s final.’

Brooke took a moment to digest his words. She swallowed, then nodded. ‘Fine,’ she whispered. ‘Go. Go and help your friend. Do whatever you think you have to do. But when it’s done, don’t bother coming back. Because I won’t be here waiting for you.’

He stared at her. ‘What?’

The tears were gone now, and she was looking at him earnestly and levelly. ‘I can’t live like this,’ she said. ‘You walk away now, it’s over between us. Your choice, Ben.’