Читать книгу When there is no sense in names - Sergey Strelyaev - Страница 4

Without noticing dirt, Ania fast paces splashed on summer pools. Her small sandals were blotted through long ago, and harmonious legs became covered by droplets of black clay on the skirt. Recently heavy rain if not it, the girl would be long ago at home ended. The elements which only raged held it for several minutes in rural club where there passed the Friday disco.

Wiping thin hands, large tears, the girl rushed, without sorting the road at all and, eventually, flew on a huge hummock, flatwise fell in a pool.

– So it is also necessary to me, – she shouted in emptiness and loudly began to sob. – The silly woman, what was frightened of, – the self-condemning thoughts in the head, – twenty years, and all as small rushed. All this is even done,… much earlier. What do I wait, really for the prince on a white horse? In reply absolutely antiput, calming thoughts rushed: he does not love you, just wanted to use also all. Any feelings, only the animal attraction is felt by him to you. To it all the same: you or another.

– No, it good, – she fought with the second I.

“You remember, remember” …, – something pulsing was distributed inside and left under the heart, forcing to feel the aching, pressing breast pain and almost not to breathe. Before eyes the events which took place only half an hour ago, but already in time to turn into something very far as though happened absolutely to other person and, this millennium rushed.

The pasha, the huge blond guy with an athletic constitution, gently entrained it in undercover corners of club. Thanks to thick walls fires of a disco and din of youth it is heard not so distinctly as if through a thick layer of cotton wool. The guy begins it to kiss greedy. Ania, without suspecting anything, gives in on his caress, as well as a week ago. He looks after her more than a month, and in it there is nothing prejudicious. The boyfriend this evening wanted from it bigger, than just kisses and usual caress. His hand impudently slides off below a waist. The girl, at last, understands in what business. With a force tries to push away him from itself. The pasha is much stronger. It strains all over and it after all manages to be discharged on some distance.

– Let. I do not want, – not the, and some stranger, by an animal voice the girl shouts. The pasha of it does not notice or does not consider it necessary to pay attention and again, more persistently, tries to bring closer the girl to himself. In red, furious eyes the burning, devil sparks jump. With horror Ania notices that in them there is nothing human. All tenderness, all warmth which she so appreciated disappeared. There was a naked whim which hardly something you will stop. Having collected the last strength, strongly hits him a palm in the face. Without expecting such serious resistance, he for a minute was taken aback and let out the girl from embraces. Confusion in his eyes lasted long not, it is replaced by anger.

– You that became stupid that you afford! – the rage strongly distorted his once beautiful face. White teeth grinned as if at a predator, skin became covered by red spots. – What is not enough for you yet? Month I follow you like a dog. Flowers, candies, constant wastes, and you., – on shout a lot of dancing in good podpitiya already ran together and silently observed offstage, being held a little off. – Well also go away to the city, it was secured by a nose here to twist. – Still yesterday’s friends were silent with malicious, mischievous smiles without saying a sound. Following it happened to listen to so much filth that if not personal participation, Ania would not believe for anything that all this was thrown up by it. That of whom she thinks for a long time at night that because of whom and for whom in her the most pure feeling began to arise.

And now it seemed to it that she hears following sneers of drunk guys and dissolute maidens which began to coil around the first guy in the village at once, serially interrupting each other, inserting the sharp needles of a sneer and reproaches into its address. Even now, lying in a pool, and listening to the remote roar of crowd, to it seemed that laugh at it.

– No, well as it could! Knows that tomorrow I leave. Decided to justify the expenses that money was not gone, what cynicism. Really everything has the money equivalent. Though, probably, it was necessary to make what he wanted. No, is not present – after that to me not to live. Better tomorrow I will leave, and everything will be over. And as he admired me what words he told: and about thin as if at a birch, a camp, and about black as oil, is a little with curls hair. About huge brown, not knowing a bottom, an eye, about scarlet lips, the correct small nose and ringing, such natural laughter lovely to his heart. Its course of thoughts interrupted terrible whistling howl, distributed over the next landing. Ania reflex raised the head towards a sound. Already cleared up sky flickering in myriads of stars was cut by a fiery arch. In a second deafening explosion sounded, the falling trees cracked, boomingly sighing disturbed by a case.

– A meteorite, probably, – the fast pace, places which is broken on run went to glow of the inflaming big fire. Unknown curiosity attracted it farther and farther forward. She did not remember a past any more and with ardent persistence was torn through bush thickets. Soon blood zasochitsya on the scratched hands and legs, but the girl did not give up. At last, it managed to reach the place. … Gleaming green fires, something metal stuck out in plowed as a huge plow, the earth. The furrow left afar and disappeared in darkness of night. Around the tumbled-down uprooted century oaks rolled. Here and there the bush burned down. Ania heard how her scared heart fights, but could not return back any more. Near what was similar to an aircraft cabin the person without life signs lay.

The guy hardly and pain rose on elbows, having turned the head, looked at the girl. She had not to see such look. In the depth of blue eyes boundless misunderstanding, reasonable and, at the same time, children’s naivety was read. He, silently, called her, asked to help. Now she was frightened by neither the aircraft, nor attires (precisely gold scales) of the pilot. The girl is not enough that then understood, but knew one – it is necessary to help. Without realizing, itself admired it: strong body, regular features, ideal oval. Only the chin acted a little more forward, than would follow. The person with absolute absence of wrinkles and folds, is slightly more yellow skin color, than at the European, with an oranzhevaty shade, made impossible determination of its true age. It always had to seem to young people, is not more senior than twenty-thirty years. Passed still some time in silent indecision. The sky was gradually filled with noise of screws of the approaching helicopters – a pursuit. Caustic smoke made the way in lungs, forcing to spill from “dream” and to start actions.

***

Several hours passed so far, Ania dragged the guy home. Changed clothes for clothes of the brother who did military service at this time. Having hastily said goodbye to the grandmother, previously having listened to reproaches – for the night, looking … – and all something like that, went to the hometown…

During the road “guest” did not pronounce also the word. But it became much better for it. He at a single glance understood the rescuer and attentively considered all came across to it.

Several hours of jolting, and here the old rusty bus, having slapped exhaust gases, was behind turn, having left two anonymous in the middle of the crowding, eternally hurrying people with glass views. The newcomer with amazement considered by the passing people and all was surprised how at such huge speed of movement they manage not to face with each other. As if and not people at all, and mechanisms with the built-in microchips which are responsible for unknown routes.

– Let’s go, we will go rather, – the girl began to bustle, – again the rain gathers.

It seemed to it, he really understands it. Gently smiling, took by hand and also accurately entrained. Did not manage to step into a zebra, at green light for the pedestrian as they were hooked by by the flying car. In a disgusting way having clanked with brakes, “Mercedes” moved down on a roadside. Outside the bald enforcer the size about an ancient case got out. Around, as always in these cases, idle gapers began to gather. Helping to get the companion on feet, the guy inspected surrounding people. As did not try, but neither sympathy, nor compassion, in general could not catch any participation to the event. To them even no who was going to help. Only one of ways to dispel melancholy yes in the evening to discuss at supper (the farther, the less remains to those for a talk. Souls become empty day after day), to poprichitat a little, – like, these rich men absolutely became impudent, it is necessary to do with it something. … Here if me so … – they were mistaken. Bring down them to death, consequences would be the same. The person would lie to himself on the road several hours and all fastidiously would pass by. And you will report that where follows, you will waste time a great lot: give evidences, on vessels will wear out. Let is better who be another will show mercy.

– With you everything is all right? – the appeared in time Dpsnik shook it for a sleeve.

– Normally, – the girl snapped, trying to put the disheveled hair in order.

The suitable jockstrap impudently radiated with the muzzle which reddened from the wine reek of alcohol. His chubby clean-shaven cheeks and a chin which practically merged with a neck became covered by a perspiration. Yellow eyes were made buldge out from orbits as if after intensive jog. The fat, hairy fingers which are entirely covered with gold rings carelessly twirled keys from expensively car.

– I because of you punched a wheel, – was distributed as from a pipe, – who will pay repair now? – it seemed that he has nothing to borrow hands as on his white satin suit there were no pockets where they can be hidden, everything was necessary to manufacture possible bends at itself over the head.

– You passed on red, – the young attendant of the law interceded.

– And what? – with enviable genuineness the violator was surprised. – I am the People’s Deputy and I hurry for work, will think the traffic light. It not for me is put, and because of me. – Stretched in advance prepared red trashy book. Having a little rumpled, the militiaman flaunted and disappeared in the unknown direction, previously having barked that the crowd dispersed.

– And where it is told as if rules not for you? – the girl on shout broke and nearly attacked on the offender with fists.

– You to me still talk. Rejoice that it is live remained. And your sickly friend oklematsya it seems too. Because of me and you it will be known, – it raised a forefinger up, – ambulances get stuck in traffic jams, and here… ridiculously to speak, – writhed a fastidious grimace, and the person grew stout even more. – Though you can work the caused damage, – having greedy narrowed eyes, it pulled short hands to Ania.

– Get out!!! – the girl shouted and right there received a slap in the face. Contracted waiting for the following blow, the hand for this purpose was already brought. Even a moment… somehow it hung in mid-air. On a face of the despot the fear which is every second developing into horror was expressed. He that was urine endeavored to get moving forward a hand, but she did not obey the owner. Ania, having widely opened eyes, watched on this the mute scene. When understood in what business, turned back to the satellite. His look shone some heated metal: without anger, without passion, without any emotions. Heart-rending absolutely baby’s cry of pain was distributed. The hand of the fat man began to be curved in the unnatural party. A little more also the crunch of bones would be distributed. The person was saved only by a faint. Having failed all the weight on hot asphalt, he broke off. Without moderating gravity, the guy transferred eyes to the car. The car instantly flashed and burned down completely.

– There is enough, – Ania begged and in just a moment learned already familiar and such native, tender look. The girl promptly pulled it in silent side streets of the big city, far away from views of curious, ubiquitous crowd.

In air began to smell ozone. The first heavy, still rare drops of a rain lifted more, than beat dust. Wind rose. Boomingly raised a howl in narrow double-exit courtyards and lanes. People hastily gave up all affairs, took off not finally dried linen from ropes and disappeared in the close apartments. The lightning sparkled, the thunder peals shaking hearing afterwards reached. Before the sky broke through falls, satellites managed to run in in a ragged entrance where Ania rented apartment. The door quietly creaked, passing in the friends. Here smelled of mustiness of the left housing a little – about a month the room was empty. The small, purely cleaned room with simple furniture served as a reliable shelter from struggles of life for the hostess. Only here she felt safe also full tranquility. Here she could cry, think of everything, remain alone with the I, collect the thoughts and even to dream. Dreams were available only about great love which surely has to come. Anastasia laid to the guest on a floor, itself settled on a tiny sofa. The dream quickly overcame it, the brain was squeezeed out from the taken place events and it failed in darkness.

– The calculating machine, quite primitive, but another is not present. – The guy thought, taking seat for the computer which hid in a room corner.

***

Having with pleasure stretched, Ania slightly rose over pillows trying to remember yesterday’s events. Through non-existence fog consciousness looked for the necessary thread. When it was made, the reality got into a brain, stinging as if one thousand needles.

– Good morning. – The guy smiled, getting up because of a table.

– You know our language? – she sat down on a bed and at random a leg began to look for slippers somewhere under a sofa. Instead of the answer it continued: – you can call me Konstantin. To be pleasant to me this name.

– I need to learn from you very much. Even I do not know what to begin with. – She spoke through a shoulder, trying pobystry to lay a bed.

– Where your house? Where yours … – fell down questions.

– Do not hurry, – gesture of a hand Kostya stopped it. – I will tell everything to you. Everything is good in its season. For a start … – my house is not visible from here. It it is so far that even light from our star cannot reach your planet. I arrived by the invitation. Only I do not understand why came across aggression. I was brought down. In the message of “Voyager” it was told about human good intentions and suddenly how it on yours? – he for a second thought, – rockets…

– Do not ask me about such things, – the girl hung the head. Probably, it was a shame to it with all six billion people.

– Let’s go for a walk better. Today day off and so, by the way, strange weather.

Indeed: from yesterday’s bad weather there is no trace left also. Behind a window birds sang, the sun brightly shone, its beams cheerfully got into all corners of the apartment.

Day was given fine, and, above all heat droplets. Air was very pure and fresh.

At the guy all it was impossible to fit into a many-sided human stream in any way, and he was continually forced to listen to abuse from the people who came across it.

– What is travel agency? – stopped opposite to a bright sign.

– Yes as to explain to you? – Ania thought. – These are people who send persons interested to have a rest to the different countries. At an excursion there… do international passports.

– And it that it?

– The document allowing the person to travel. The usual passport, – it got into a handbag, – is necessary in that country where you live constantly.

While Konstantin accurately rustled with sheets of a sinenky book, the girl diligently explained what can be made with the passport and that promises its absence.

– Unless people are not capable to move on the own planet? – sincerely the newcomer was surprised. The girl only helplessly shrugged shoulders.

– You are free? – Konstantin was softened.

– Of course!

– I other opinion. What it consists in?

Ania was struck dumb, nervously fingering fingers as if they stiffened from a frost. Earlier she and had not to think of such things, all by itself was understood.

– We are free in the choice, – barely audible as the uncertain student at examination who is afraid to be mistaken, she whispered.

– Unless you have it, for example, specifically? – still quietly Konstantin argued. It seemed, he did not notice that the girl does not own a situation at all, and it would be much easier for it to interrupt a conversation, than to continue this torture.

– People constantly never fight for it, but, on the present did not receive freedom. You are always deceived. Only the form of your life changes, but contents remains, as well as hundred, and one thousand years ago. The most awful that the majority suits it. History knows one thousand examples. Revolution of 1917. The poor fought for the power with the rich and, it seems as, even won a victory. There passed a little time and that we have. … Everything returned into place – remained both poor, and fantastically provided, and all at the expense of the same poor people. Those who excessively work direct all efforts and time, have practically no anything, the others own everything, do not need anything – the ordinary nobility. One try to live by rules, others the law not писан. Itself saw yesterday. The one who has to serve the people eats it, smothers for the sake of the pleasure. Believe me as you speak, the onlooker sees most of the game. – He tried to smile, but there was only a poor excuse for a malicious smile. The topic of conversation was too serious. The girl corrected a short skirt that was not necessary at all.

– And wars! It in general something special. As one person or even group of people can decide destiny of millions which and in eyes never saw. Never leave in the battlefield, hide in cozy bunkers. The simple people die for others interests, for-for the sake of others profit. If it is necessary for politicians, let will gather and are at war. Elected them for the solution of peace problems. Nobody granted them the rights for war. Here personally to you there is though some business to the borders established by someone once? – Ania listened carefully. – I see what is not present, as well as to most of normal people on the planet. There are, of course, broods of Nazis and to them similar, but them practically nothing. Even it is more interesting to population bulk when nearby there live a set of nationalities with the culture, with the outlook. How many useful it is possible to gather each other. Everyone wants without any unnecessary red tape, firstly to call of heart to go to any corner of the native planet, but not to dream of it, as of something divine, available only to the elite. In you there are inclinations great, light. But you, for some reason try to eradicate all this, to create from yourself beings, similar to cars. There is no common goal, and that says it all. You as in the dark, jump aside from one extreme in another, look for an exit, without seeing it at themselves near by. What in general your civilization aspires to? There is no answer, so, everything is false. There is no vector on which it is necessary to fit forces and to achieve results. Nothing unites all as one family. You are trampled down centuries on one place – a step forward, then back, and any advance, and die in contradictions if undertake nothing. It is the law of the Universe: or living beings become wiser, overcoming difficulties together, or they perish. It is not necessary to think that when the trouble comes, you unite for its permission. It is necessary to begin with trifles, at the last minute to be in time nothing.

– Words, words. Let’s not philosophize. Let’s go better to the park, at this time it is very beautiful. – The girl of the got excited satellite stopped.

Indeed here it was pleasant to Konstantin. Neither noise, nor soot of cars. Though what has to be everywhere somewhere remained. Only silence and green trees moreover rare chatter of birds. Having sat down on one of benches, Ania accurately, almost tremblingly, took him by hand.

– I know nothing about you? – quietly, without looking in the face, it began. She wanted to tell, learn the most important, but she did not find forces and courage to make it. – Do you have a work? Who are you? Family? – after the last word hasty added not to give itself – Friends?

– In your understanding there is nothing of that kind. We are others. – Whether pity, whether a regret sounded in its voice. He, apparently, did not notice the main issue or pretended that he did not notice.

The silence hung. It was not that burdensome silence which arises between two unfamiliar people, and they should stir about any nonsense, not very well about what if only was not this country of shyness. To them just it was good together. To everyone alone with the thoughts. Nobody felt awkward as if their acquaintance lasted not one decade.

– As whom do you work? – suddenly for some reason the guy asked.

– Not important. – She waved away. – My work is not pleasant to me at all. If I on it did not self-study, did not read books, was not engaged though I something useful, probably, would go crazy from understanding of hopelessness, uselessness of the spent time.

– Replace it.

– Хм, – the girl of its naivety grinned, – everything is not so simple. At first it is necessary to gain the diploma. Tried to study, there was only not enough money. From relatives one grandmother remained with me, – on her face warm, a little sad smile appeared, – pension also falls short of a living wage. The government promised to raise, and all one kopeks will leave, the prices much quicker up creep. It needs to be helped.

Naturally it was necessary to explain what is a living wage, pension and still a set of passing questions.

Having listened and having deeply thought, Konstantin decided to specify some moments:

– It turns out, these are the settlement means necessary for the person for a month for elementary survival, so to speak, that with hunger not to die?

Ania, silently, nodded and became covered by a small shiver, having a presentiment of a new wave of indignation.

– Now she receives less money. So far everything is correct? – having received the affirmative answer, continued. – The state itself appoints this minimum, gives to the person even less, so obviously dooms him to death?

She had nothing to tell.

– I for the 100-th time speak to you, I very small, nothing not meaning person, ask…

– So does not happen. There are no little people. There are low beings, and are those who press on you, forcing to consider themselves nobody, to feel a pettiness. They take away from you the most important – awareness of the importance, so, kill will to live, aspiration to great fulfillments. Force to live not as you want and as it is necessary for them… And as whom you studied? – it changed a topic of conversation. From his statements Ania absolutely became dejected and all stooped.

– On the chemist, – she quickened. – To me it very to liking. I can talk for hours about this science. – Therefore as her eyes shone, it was possible to draw a conclusion that it could become valid business of all her life.

– Give I you to everything I will teach, work as whom you want?

– My knowledge in this area more than is enough. The diploma is necessary, money., – the girl was upset again.

– If you know everything and are able, and you only have no piece of paper, you also cannot work?

– Not pieces of paper, and plasticity, – it was necessary only to laugh from such absurd, so they are easier had. How to explain to the purest baby that such treachery, a lie, benefit? – What do you try to obtain?

– I try to understand you.

– Well and how progress? – The ironical smile slightly touched her lips.

Konstantin only negatively shook the head and a little later added:

– You and do not understand yourself, I see, and seek to understand nothing. Everyone invents close worlds where only to it it is good, do not try to make cozy the general house at all, what occurs behind your window you does not concern any more. Life consists in several square meters of your apartments and comes to an end behind their doors. Everything that in not it, hostilely, unichtozhayushche badly. While we with you walked, found time to read several thoughts by the walking people. One of them thought of the forthcoming checkup of the vehicle. I quote: “as all complicated: month if it is necessary to stay in turns no more until everything ends. Better than ladies of money and documents, in ten minutes everything will be ready”. – Here also explain to me, please, why this service is necessary? That to take bribes? The car will go anyway, even without check. It is possible just to abolish it. From it more accidents will not be. The thinking people on the faulty car will not go, and fools and so will pay and will have either an accident, or another nasty story. Another counted the benefit from deception of workers, something with a salary there, the majority did not know, than to feed a family. “Where still to earn additionally? As it is at two works,… and there is not enough money all the same”. It is a high time to raise a question: whether you are reasonable? Whether people you in general? What you on invented stuff does not do you by the highest beings as you consider. What does the person to that? Kindness, compassion, help to the neighbor? Where your young civilization managed to lose all this, without having managed to get plainly? Even animals feel the guilt more sharply you. Are ready to accept obediently deserved punishment, let and from weaker. People, knowing the fault, will use the best efforts not to be punished, will even convince themselves of own innocence. Though your society not bad is conceived. Only everything that is offered is not valid. If everything was carried out as has to, would be tolerable for the majority. Only it is not clear if: the mechanism does not work, it needs to be cancelled, thrown out or repaired, and people are content with the destroyed system which end is not visible.

– Probably, you are right. I am afraid of this world too. I am afraid to seem in total silly, ridiculous, to express the thoughts in public. Suddenly someone will condemn them, will deride. To me not to endure it. I dream., you will not even believe what I dream of, – she made a helpless gesture, – about an old age. I want to retire and hide quicker from the whole world. I understand that I wish myself death, but I can do nothing with myself. It is awful, I know. It is ready to offer the best years of life. But also my acquaintances drag the same miserable existence if not to tell, sickly vegetation. Also think also, just aloud it is not accepted to speak about it. They should fill days stuff if only somewhere to put time and to give intelligence to the life. For them life a burden, an invisible yoke. One are engaged in a collecting, others in card play, the third still some nonsense, the absorbing value having everything for their life. Many find a consolation in children. You do not think, against children I have nothing – it is fine. Badly the fact that the majority bring them for simplification of the life. To some extent is a weakness or egoism, I do not know. Could achieve nothing in due time, lowered hands, made a family. There was an excess excuse, a justification: not to great fulfillments, peanuts it is necessary to feed. Here I will bring up them, and they let make miracles. Simplest it is thoughtless, rested as a ram, to mechanically carry out some duties, to be exhausted physically before consciousness loss. It is much more difficult to try to change itself and society. What beyond our powers, and in most cases just laziness, we perelazhivat on shoulders of the descendants, they in turn on the… I even am not afraid of death. If necessary I will easily go to it without delaying, seconds. But to panic, to wild horror I tremble before authorities in any their manifestation: officials, militia, the administration at work is simple. All of them have on me improbable, hypnotic influence. When they shout, threaten, I not in forces something to object, I lose a speech power. But then I burn with anger. I build huge offers, phrases which need to be told in reply and I know that I will never be able to say them aloud. The next quarrel if it is so possible to call it, will end as always with acquiescence.

– You are not fair to yourself. You wish silent, quietly bright life. And all this is inaccessible to you now. For some reason, you think in old age everything conceived will come. Maybe so. Watching what to want. Your uninteresting, monkey business irritates you, exhausts as penal servitude. Such as you millions and you spend the best years, huge forces on absolute nothing. Beginning from arms, finishing any small institutions which build the existence on a lot of papers. There is a lot of them that there is no uniform control system anywhere. Everything so far came that already nobody knows as has to be as it is correct. You spend precious time, standing idle in lines to officials for the sake of some piece of paper, the signature, the press. How many in it it is engaged to the people? What for? If your world is especially material that too not the best option. they make nothing, and others should work for themselves and for someone else. You pay a heap of taxes. The money which is honestly earned with toilers disappears in the unknown directions.

Since early years to death you live only in the bans, some ridiculous rules, a framework which do not facilitate, and complicate existence. But believe me, your structure of society – not dogma, happens differently. People force… to study at once, not to from year to year what would like, and to what someone decided to teach you to. To someone whom you do not even know, more visible what to teach you to and what is not necessary to. Then work for pennies. It is very favorable, to earn millions from someone’s work not to live in the framework erected for the majority. Your great rulers of the destiny as louses on a body – are eaten off will not burst yet, but will drag away up to this point not one soul for themselves in an abyss. Therefore you dream of an old age, of death, difficultly to realize all senselessness of such existence. If there is a miracle, light at the end of a tunnel is seen, with enthusiasm you start working, plan, endow everything, but when reaches paperwork, underwater rocks which often break the ship of a dream begin and you sink because of shortage of the signature, money for a bribe and other trifle without which it is perfectly possible to do. You justify youselves, the pier in a different way is impossible, or shout, show us as well as we will make. Really do not look for compromises, you do not want to see – already showed, as well as more than once. When to happen to see – the following excuse: we are not able. And so indefinitely. But trust, so will not be always. People to regain consciousness from a dream. Time of terrible revaluation of values and life will come in general. The handful of people cannot own the planet, and especially minds of millions are not subject to them. There will be an hour, and all people in a flash will understand the importance. In a flash the poor and the rich, slaves and misters, defect and crimes will disappear. Awareness of unity of the Universe will be excluded by murders and theft. It is silly to steal from himself.

– Ania, – its voice became tender as singing of birds around, – I need to tell something to you.

In his eyes and so everything was told, but the girl more than ever wanted to be mistaken.

“So should not be, – heart went on, – I waited for it all life”.

– It is time for me to depart, – sounded as a thunder.

Konstantin spoke for a long time, but she did not hear him any more. She felt sorry for herself, it is a pity for the destiny which deceived her again, having left alone with pain. Released hope and, without having allowed to enjoy, took away back.

– You do not take offense, I will tell still something. In the world you are doomed, to be unfortunate. Your purity here – defect. Good people at you are necessary to nobody, they are derelicts. There is, of course, a choice: or to turn into the zombie, having merged with the others, or to battle alone against what is not fated to be overcome. In any case, you will not be able, the system you will break. And at the same time someone has to begin to fight, to offer voluntarily the life in the benefit, to become the black sheep. To doom itself to deprivations and offenses, such is a fate of martyrs. But anyway, the choice always remains for you.

– When to you to leave? – she tried to hide melancholy, his words now did not concern Ania at all. Tomorrow without it was already always on the mind. Day, as well as thousands of others similar one on another as uterine twins. In them there is neither joy, nor happiness only contemptible loneliness pulling down.

– Already soon.

– Let’s walk last time.

It readily rose from a bench and held up it the hand.

Went slowly. Did not talk about anything and what was to speak to them now about – two such close and such far. When parting for ever any words sound silly and it is not necessary, only muffling the feelings aggravated to a limit, obscuring heart reason. So, without noticing that, came to an end of the park. Greens smoothly passed into city policlinic. This new building with the shining glasses and a brilliant roof not absolutely was in harmony with surrounding lindens and chestnuts.

– I need to come, – she nodded on policlinic, – will wait?

– I will wait, – it is somehow lost the guy answered and it was discharged in a shadow of trees.

Actually, urgency in a visit to the doctor was not. Just Ania needed to take breath, to stay alone, and that is a little more and she would burst out crying.

Wind rushed into the corridor which became permeated with the smell of drugs and human sufferings, mechanically curtailed for a corner and came to be near a door with the green plate. “The office No. 10 Yurov Andrey Aleksandrovich is a family doctor” – it appeared on her.

People it was decent. Having asked edge, the girl took seat on a rigid stool and began to consider a ceiling. She did not want to come to light, she delayed parting and did not know how to make it. In the head various options of a delay of an inevitable event fought. But everything was not that. The turn of patients disturbed by something brought out of a stupor.

– Here all with a temperature and, nevertheless, do not jump the line. Wait as all!

The patients who approached after all did not wish to wait. On their communication it was clear – the father and the son. Yes they were also similar. Both are small, chubby. Solidly dressed. Only the father unlike the son, had a small high temple on the head. The guy possessed a stately blond head of hear. Constantly exchanging words with someone by mobile phones, with the important, dismissed gait serially departed from an office on several steps. However, it did not complicate to listen, at desire, what it there is a speech about.

– No, in hospital. Now we stint and we will arrive… What? Already all gathered, we will be soon. Cover.

– Stas, – called up the son closer when that hung up too, – turn big… Well anything.

Dialed number and it was shortly thrown with someone a couple of phrases. At once from an office the voice of the doctor was distributed,

– Fabrikin, following comes. – Having rested eyes against a floor people were silent.

With a type of the winner, in a rush of superiority and fastidiousness to people around, the youth came into the opened door but, being proud, forgot to cover it for himself.

– Generally, the sick-list I to you wrote out. Let at me will stay though it and is not necessary. In ten days you will come you will take away… I will set all seals…

Ania still unnoticed left the building, as well as entered it. It was far in a midday and corridors long ago became empty. Its own steps softly and in a disgusting way were distributed somewhere in a nape.

– Everywhere it occurs. Really indeed did not notice it. And others do not want to see. It is easier to close eyes and to consider that all and has to be. Everywhere small rage, lies, cruelty and other defects, being summarized, lead to general suffering.

Konstantin was not anywhere. On a trunk of a linden under which it melted the white sheet of paper loomed. Ania the shivering hands broke it from a hairpin and brought to the person. The large tears which are painfully burning cheeks laid eyes, preventing to read. Brushed away them a hand. Through a white veil lines began to appear.

– Forgive, I am not able to say goodbye. It is so easier for you. As if you did not persuade, I have no right to remain. I love you very much. Your Konstantin.

More Ania did not constrain tears. Loudly sobbing on anybody, without paying attention, went back on the park.

– Your Konstantin, – she infinitely repeated, and tears with a new force broke from long eyelashes.

In the sky something rumbled.

– I will not give up, I will not turn. I will fight. Whether you hear me, – she cried that was urine, having raised the head to the darkening heaven.

Watered a rain. Began to smell ozone.