Читать книгу The Twins - Sheldon Cohen - Страница 13

Frieda Brunner was born in Austria in 1886. Her father was a strict disciplinarian Lutheran minister. Her mother stayed at home raising their three children. Frieda was the youngest, and her father’s goal for her was to do as all women should, and that was to marry early, raise a family, and serve her husband as the bible demanded. A rebellious Frieda often came into conflict with her father, and she chafed at the strict discipline. At age eighteen, she became engaged to the son of a customs official. Her fiancée, age twenty-one, was attending the University of Vienna and graduation was in one year. The plan was for them to marry as soon as he graduated and obtained a good job. Frieda, rather then stay at home any longer, took the position at the Augsberg beer hall with the intention of getting on her own and away from her father and working until her fiancée’s graduation. The money she saved would give them a good start.

Frieda was as happy as any girl could possibly be. She was deeply in love and the last thing she ever expected was the kind of letter she received from her fiancée.

My dear Frieda,

I have to tell you something that is painful for me and I know will be painful for you as well. I am breaking our engagement for I have been seeing another girl, and we are to be married. My own father warned me about this possibility. He said that our absence from each other was not a good thing. He was right. You know how much love I held for you, but I must be realistic and allow you to go on with your life, as I must with mine. I wish there was an easier way to do this, but there was no chance I would be seeing you in the near future. So I bid you goodbye. There will always be a special place in my heart for you. Horst

Frieda became dizzy and light-headed. Her heart skipped a beat. She crumbled to the ground. Heidi rushed to her side. “What’s wrong?” she said.

Frieda looked up at Heidi. Tearless, her eyes blank, her mouth a thin slit, she handed Heidi the letter. She read, her face a mask of concentration. At first, sadness masked Heidi’s face, but suddenly her expression changed to one of hatred. “My God,” she said, “all I can think of is that you are better off. Any man that could do this is not worth having. There’s no excuse for not looking you in the face when he tells you goodbye. You should be grateful he showed what kind of a man he is now instead of after the wedding.”

That afternoon they went to work. Frieda went through the motions, her mind blank.

In the evening, she approached a customer: Alfred Stegerwald.

Frieda served the stranger that night and the three men who later joined him. She worked in a mechanical way, her mind reeling from the shattering news that had come in the letter. Heidi was right. She would have to forget this insult to her femininity and self-esteem. As the evening dragged on she became angry, but it was the kind of anger that focused on one man, not all men. Men told her she was desirable. She would not let this insulting and cowardly act of her former fiancée bring her down to despair and destroy her self-image.

When she whispered in her customer’s ear that night, she would prove to herself that she was still desirable. When the second stranger came to her room, it was only further confirmation that she was right.

Two weeks later, she missed her menstrual period. This was an unusual occurrence, as she had been regular since she was fourteen years old. She confided this fact to Heidi.

“Could you be pregnant?” Heidi asked.

“Yes, I guess it’s possible.”

“If you find out you are, what will you do?”

“I can’t have a baby. I was supposed to go home in a few months, but if I’m pregnant I can’t.”

“You better just wait a while. It’s too early. Maybe you just missed because you got such a shock from your rotten ex-fiancée.”

“I doubt it.”

“If you really are pregnant, I can help you. My girlfriend got in the same fix, and she gave her baby up for adoption. There was no way she could take care of a child. She confided in me, so I know just what to do.”

“You’re a good friend, Heidi.”

Another month passed and with it, a second missed menstrual period. There was little doubt when Frieda began to experience nausea and light-headedness.

Heidi, true to her word, arranged for her to get help. She sent Frieda to see Pastor Braun who arranged for her to see a doctor to verify the pregnancy.

Several weeks later, after the doctor had confirmed her pregnancy, Frieda returned to the pastor’s office. “You’re certain that you plan to give your baby up for adoption?” he asked.

“Yes, I’m certain. I cannot take care of a baby. It deserves a better home than I can give it.”

“Do your parents know?”

“God, no. It would kill them. My father is a minister like you. I was supposed to go back home in a few months, but now I can’t. I’ll tell them I want to work for six or seven more months. Then, after the baby is born, I’ll go home and start my life over again. They must never know.”

“I understand. We’ll place you in the Angel Sentinel home near Munich in about two months.”

“Could it be sooner? I’m starting to show already.”

“I’ll work on it. I’ll do my best for you.”

In four weeks, Frieda left the beer hall. She told her boss and her other friends that she would be leaving to visit some relatives and then would return home. The only one who knew the true story was Heidi.

She moved into her new quarters at Angel Sentinel near Munich.