Читать книгу The Billion Dollar Pact - Sheri WhiteFeather - Страница 16
ОглавлениеCarol waited for Jake to respond. But he just sat there staring at her. Was he struggling to grasp what she’d just told him? Or was he simply too stunned to move? To blink? To talk?
After what seemed like forever, he said, “That’s impossible.”
“In what way?” she asked, prodding him to explain what he was thinking and feeling.
“We used protection.” He spoke robotically, like a computer stating a fact. Or someone who refused to believe what he was hearing.
“Condoms sometimes fail.” She’d checked the failure rates and the numbers were staggering. “Mostly from them breaking or slipping off.”
“But that didn’t happen to us.”
“No, but I might have damaged the first one. With as much as I fumbled with it, I could have poked a tiny hole in it. Or the failure could have come from the last one we used. Remember how the edges of the packet were bent from the way it had been stuck in your suitcase? The condom itself could have been compromised without us even knowing it.”
Jake stood and stepped away from the sofa, pressing his back against the fireplace mantel. He was beginning to look like a caged animal. Carol knew exactly how he felt.
“Then I guess it is possible,” he said.
“Yes, it is.” Her voice vibrated with every breath she took. She’d never expected to be in this position, possibly impregnated by a man who didn’t want children. “Last week, I thought I had my period, but it was weird. First of all, it was early and that’s never happened to me before.” Normally her cycles were like clockwork. “And it only lasted a few hours, which was even weirder.” She hated to share all of the clinical details, but considering how crucial this was, it seemed necessary. “It was more like spotting than a full period.”
“I’m confused.” His voice was shaky, too. He even cleared his throat, as if it might help. “That isn’t an early sign of pregnancy, is it?”
“Actually, it is. But I wasn’t aware of it until I looked up my symptoms online. At first I thought I was getting a virus based on how run-down I was feeling. Then when my period seemed irregular, I got a little worried and researched what could’ve caused that. And that’s when I came across something called implantation bleeding. It’s just like what I had. It’s a result of the fertilized egg attaching itself to the wall of the uterus. It typically happens two to seven days before the beginning of what would be your regular menstrual cycle. In my case, it’s been about six days. My period is due tomorrow.”
He looked relieved—not completely, but at least his body language wasn’t quite as tense. “Then maybe it’ll start and everything will be okay. Maybe you’ll begin to feel better, too.”
“That’s what I’m hoping. That’s why I didn’t want to take a pregnancy test or go to a doctor yet, either.”
He wrinkled his forehead. “Can a test even be taken this early?”
Carol nodded. “Yes, but I wanted to wait, just to see if my period comes first. Besides, early tests aren’t always accurate.” She reached for her soup, needing fuel, so she cut into the matzo ball and ate a portion of that. “I haven’t been queasy, so that’s a good sign. Mostly my symptoms are lack of energy and light-headedness. It might just be stress. Sometimes women’s menstrual cycles can get disrupted by that.”
He relaxed a bit more, moving away from the mantel. “Then that’s probably what it is. It seems the most likely culprit. Even I figured that’s what was wrong with you and why you’re not feeling well. That’s why I came over here to question you about it.”
“I appreciate your concern.” She hadn’t wanted to see him until after she knew for sure, but she was glad that she’d gotten it over with. “If my cycle starts tomorrow, we’re in the clear. But if it doesn’t...”
He tugged at his hair, hard enough to create a grimace. “Pregnancy never even occurred to me.”
“Me, neither, until all of this blew up in my face.” She wanted to pull her hair out, too.
“If you don’t start your period, how long are you going to wait before you take a test?”
“I don’t know. A few days, maybe. I don’t want to sit around on pins and needles, but I don’t want to get a false reading, either.” She was just hoping and praying that her cycle showed up. “I could go to the doctor to get a blood test. Those give you an earlier reading. But it takes longer to get the results than a urine test, so I’d have to wait, either way. I doubt my doctor would rush the results of a blood test for me.”
“Will you call me tomorrow and let me know how you’re doing and if anything happens?”
“Of course I will.” Now that he was part of the equation, she would keep him well informed. “But if you hadn’t come over today, I wouldn’t have told you any of this, not until enough time passed for me to be sure.” She blinked, fighting back tears. “I didn’t want to worry you if it turned out to be nothing.” She put down her soup, leaving the spoon inside the mug. “I’m so scared, Jake.”
“Me, too.” He resumed his seat on the sofa, looking at her as if she might break. “But it’ll be okay.”
She wished that she could believe him. But what if she was pregnant? He was the last man on earth she should be having a baby with. “You can’t know it’s going to be okay.”
“I’m just trying to comfort you. To say what I’m supposed to say.” Clearly, he was struggling with his role in this. “Would you rather be alone now? Do you want me to leave?”
She looked into the vastness of his eyes. “Do you want to go?”
He gazed back at her. “I asked you first.”
They sounded like kids, debating a silly subject. But that wasn’t the case. This was a serious discussion between two anxiety-ridden adults.
She took the undecided road. “It’s up to you.”
“Please, Carol. Either ask me to stay or tell me to leave. Don’t make me choose.”
“Then maybe you should go.” If he stayed, she might fall prey to the temptation of those big broad shoulders and put her head on one of them. She might even cry in his arms, and that wouldn’t do either of them any good.
“All right.” He wiped his hands on his pants, as if his palms had turned clammy. “We’ll just keep in touch by phone.”
She walked him to the door, where they both stood outside. The air felt good, so she breathed in as much of it as she could.
“Take care of yourself,” he said.
“I will.” She hadn’t been sleeping. She’d barely even been eating. “Thanks again for the soup.”
“If you need anything else, just let me know.”
What she needed was to not be pregnant. “Hopefully you’ll get good news from me tomorrow.”
“I’ll be waiting.” He gazed empathetically at her. “I’m sorry our weekend together is messing up your life.”
“Nothing is messed up yet.” It was only on the verge of disaster.
His breathing turned choppy. “God, Carol. How are we going to handle this if it’s true?”
“I don’t know. But you need to go.” She couldn’t cope with his panic. She had enough of her own.
“You’re right. I’m sorry. I’m supposed to be leaving.”
Thankfully, he didn’t embrace her or do anything to stir up more emotion. There was nothing but a softly spoken goodbye before he turned and left.
She noticed that he was driving his Corvette, a ragtop convertible that he favored on warmer days. She could see the shiny red sports car from where she stood. She watched him climb behind the wheel and fire up the high-powered engine.
Carol tried to picture him in a minivan with a baby carrier strapped in the backseat, but it was a ludicrous image.
She shook her head, afraid, so damned afraid, that if tomorrow didn’t bring an end to this, her wild-spirited boss could actually be the father of her unborn child.
* * *
Nearly a week later, Jake was at home stressing about the predicament he’d gotten himself into. Carol hadn’t returned to work yet, but by now a doctor had confirmed what the home test had also revealed. She was pregnant. With his kid, Jake thought. His flesh and blood. He was going to be someone’s dad.
Carol had already told him over the phone that she was keeping it, but he’d figured as much. He couldn’t see her terminating her pregnancy under any circumstances, not with how badly she wanted a family.
But how did Jake fit into all of this? He didn’t know how to be part of a family, not since he’d lost his own. Nor did he want to be part of one, either.
Carol was coming over later so they could try to figure things out. But even now, as he looked at himself in the mirrored wall of his gym, he wanted to ram his head against it.
He’d worked out like mad, making his muscles ache, making his body sweat. He’d pushed himself harder than he ever had before, trying to block the truth from his mind.
But it hadn’t been the least bit effective.
What the hell was he going to do? How was he going to cope with being a father? Jake didn’t even have a dog. Or a cat. Or a fish. He’d never been responsible for anyone or anything except himself.
He entered the bathroom that was attached to the gym and climbed into the shower. He turned on the spigot and let the icy cold water pummel him. But it didn’t help. Nothing did. Still, he remained under the freezing spray for as long as he could stand it.
After he toweled off, he dragged a T-shirt over his head and zipped into a pair of holey jeans. He liked wearing old clothes around the house. For him, it took the pretentious edge off living in a mansion. Not that he was complaining. His place was amazingly cool, an ultramodern estate perched in the Hollywood Hills, with the kinds of amenities only high-dollar real estate could offer.
At least Jake could buy his son or daughter everything the child needed. That was his only comfort, the only part of this that made him feel grounded.
Over the years, he’d learned to hide behind his money. But if he hadn’t gotten rich, he would be hiding behind something else. There would be a barrier either way. On the day Jake’s family had burned to death in that car, he’d put up his defenses, using his grief as a shield. There was no going back, no changing it. He was what he was.
He went into the living room to wait for Carol, anxiety building with each second that passed. He couldn’t marry her; he couldn’t be the nice normal guy she dreamed about. But she wouldn’t expect him to. Would she?
He scrubbed his hand across his jaw, feeling trapped within the walls of his big glass house.
Finally, Carol arrived. He invited her inside, and they sat across from each other in his sunken living room, decorated with red leather furniture and sleek gray tables. The floors were high-glossed wood, the artwork bold and masculine. The windows offered panoramic views, with Hollywood and all its glorious sins stretched out before them. This wasn’t a home designed for a wife and child. He’d bought it as a place to party, to entertain, to live and let live.
“Can I get you anything?” he asked. “Water? Iced tea? Wine?” He stalled, made a face. Had he just offered a pregnant woman a drink? “Sorry. Scratch the wine.”
“That’s okay. I don’t want anything, anyway.”
Carol looked prim and pretty, with her oxford blouse all buttoned up. But she seemed tired, too. As fatigued as before.
“Has the nausea started?” he asked.
She shook her head. “No. My symptoms are the same.”
“Maybe you won’t get sick like that.”
She smiled a little. “I probably will, but it would be nice to bypass that part.”
“I don’t know anything about having kids, Carol.”
“I’m not an expert, either.”
“Yeah, but it’s in your DNA. You’re going to make a great mom.”
“Thank you. This wasn’t how I envisioned becoming a parent, but I’m not going to let that stop me from loving this baby with all of my heart.”
At that moment, Jake’s heart was beating uncomfortably in his chest, crushing down on his lungs. “I’ll give you both whatever you need. Neither of you will go without. But I can’t marry you, Carol. I hope you understand that.”
“Of course I do. I didn’t come over here hoping for a proposal. I could never marry you, either.”
He should have been satisfied with her response. It was what he wanted to hear, after all. But instead, it made him hurt for the child they’d created. Oddly enough, he hurt for himself and Carol, too.
“I’ll buy you a house,” he said. “Around here somewhere. Then at least we can live close enough for me to see the kid regularly, too. I can come over and tuck it into bed or whatever.”
She bit down on her bottom lip. “Oh, wow. Jake.”
He frowned. “Oh, wow, what?”
Her eyes turned a little misty. “You’re already starting to sound like a dad.”
“I am?” He didn’t feel like one. All he felt was sad and scared and confused. Not knowing what else to say, he went silent, hoping she didn’t go into a full-blown cry.
Thankfully, she cleared the mistiness, blinking it away. Then she said, “I appreciate your offer. But you don’t have to buy me a house.”
“I’m in real estate. Investing in property is what I do.” So why wouldn’t he want to make an investment for her, too? “Besides, you can’t stay in the apartment. It’s too small for you and the baby.”
“Okay, but maybe you can keep the house in your name, instead of gifting it to me. I want to be my own person and taking too much from you doesn’t feel right.”
He wasn’t going to argue with her, not in her condition. He would abide by her wishes for now. “You can at least pick out the kind of place you like.”
“I don’t want it to be too big.” She glanced around at his enormous digs. “I’d prefer something a little homier, you know?”
“That’s fine.” There were plenty of bungalows in the hills, with the warmth and charm of a family dwelling, which was what he figured she was after. “We’ll find something that suits you.”
“There’s no rush. I can stay at my apartment until closer to when the baby comes.” She placed a hand on her stomach, splaying her fingers across it, making him reflect on the little life that grew there. “We still have a long time to go.”
“There’s no point in waiting until the end.” Jake considered how the tables had turned. Normally Carol insisted on getting things done ahead of time, but now he was the one trying to make early arrangements. He didn’t know what had come over him, jumping into this the way he was. Maybe it was because she seemed so lost?
“What are we going to do about my job?” she asked.
“What do you mean?”
“Am I supposed to keep working for you? And when are we going to tell the people at the office?”
“Of course you can keep working for me.” He’d already been worried about losing her before he even knew she was pregnant. He most certainly didn’t want her to leave him now. “And we can arrange a meeting at the office and tell everyone at the same time. We’ll just say it, plain and simple.”
“It makes me nervous.”
“I know.” His stomach was in knots. “But it’s better to just get it over with.” He didn’t want anyone figuring things out on their own or spreading gossip. “We’ll control it ourselves, if we can.”
“Will you handle that? I don’t think I have the strength to stand in a room in front of my peers and admit that I slept with you.”
“Yes, I’ll handle it. And don’t worry. I’m not going to go into the specifics. This is about the baby, not about what we did.”
She kept her hand on her stomach. “Kristen is going to be concerned about me. You know how she is.”
Kristen was the receptionist, a pixie-haired brunette in her early twenties who followed Carol around like a puppy. Jake had never really bonded with the girl. It was Carol she was loyal to. Kristen was filling in for Carol while she was out sick, doing what she could to assist Jake and make Carol proud. “She admires you.”
“I know. I like her, too. But I never expected to be in this position. It seems so surreal.”
“We’ll get through it,” he said, even if he didn’t have a clue how they were going to manage having a child together for the rest of their lives. “As soon as you’re ready to return to the office, I’ll call that meeting.”
“I’ll come back on Friday.”
That was two days away. “Then that’s when it’ll happen.” When Jake would announce that he and Carol were having a baby. When the news would be official. When their mixed-up future would begin.
* * *
The Friday meeting was awkward, but at least it was over. Carol wasn’t going to have to lie about why she wasn’t feeling well. Or hide her baby bump when it started to appear. Or stress about when to tell everyone at work. As of this morning, they already knew.
Jake had handled it like the boss he was, stating only the facts. He’d made it clear that he and Carol weren’t in a relationship. He explained that they would raise their child in separate households. He also pointed out that she would continue to work for him, so it would be business as usual.
Yeah, right, Carol thought. As if it was just that easy.
After the meeting ended, the other employees disbursed, silence looming in the air as they filed out of the conference room. Carol understood their discomfort. She was feeling out of sorts, too. But she suspected that Kristen was going to approach her privately, as soon as the eager receptionist was able to swing it.
Jake went to his office, and Carol headed to hers, glad to escape. She sat at her desk, trying to pull herself into work mode.
About an hour later, a light knock sounded at her open doorway. Sure enough, it was Kristen, with her trendy clothes, short, cutesy hair and big hoop earrings. Carol gestured for her to come inside.
Kristen entered the room and closed the door behind her. Then she widened her eyes and said, “Oh, my freaking God. You’re going to be Jake’s baby mama. You! The nicest, most normal woman on the planet. I can’t believe it.”
Carol could hardly believe it, either. “Things happen.”
“I’ll say.” Kristen sighed. “I always wondered if you had feelings for him, though.”
“You did?” And here Carol thought that she’d hidden her crush on Jake without anyone figuring it out.
The brunette nodded. She was a petite young woman who’d played Peter Pan in a community play. She toyed around with acting, but lots of people in LA dabbled in the arts. Kristen wasn’t overly ambitious about it. Mostly she was just a flighty girl who’d gone from one bad boyfriend to another. Carol had helped her through her last horrific relationship.
“At least Jake has lots of money,” Kristen said. “At least he can take care of the baby that way. But dang, it’s hard to envision him being an actual dad.”
Carol thought about what Jake had said about tucking the child in at night and how emotional it had made her feel. “I think he’s going to try to do his best.”
“That’s good. My parents weren’t married or anything, either. I hardly ever saw my dad when I was kid. I see him even less now.”
“I’m sorry your dad hasn’t taken a more active role in your life.” No doubt it had factored into Kristen’s terrible taste in men, too. “That wasn’t fair to you.”
“What happened to you and Jake when you were kids wasn’t fair, either. At least my parents are still alive. But it’s still so weird, with you and Jake having a baby together.”
“He offered to put me up in a house near his to make it easier for him to get involved. But this isn’t how I ever imagined raising a child.”
“I’m just glad it’s you and not one of his hoity-toity ex-girlfriends having his kid. You’re a genuine person, and you’ll be a great mom.”
“Thank you. Jake said the same thing.”
“About you being a good mom?”
“Yes. He thinks it’s in my DNA.” But regardless of what a natural mom she was going to be, Carol couldn’t bear the thought of Jake being with other women. Yet once the dust settled, she suspected that he would dive back into his playboy ways. He was making a commitment to their child, not to her. “I just hope I don’t break down before the baby is born.”
“You won’t. You’re too strong to fall apart.”
“I haven’t cried yet.” She’d gotten close, but she’d managed to keep from bursting into tears. “I’m trying to hold on.”
“Don’t worry. You’ll make it.” The receptionist sent her an encouraging smile. “But I better get back to work now.”
“Thank you for the support.”
“Sure. Should I leave the door open when I leave?”
Carol nodded, and once she was alone, she struggled to maintain her composure. Then she glanced up and saw Jake looming in the doorway. The hits just kept on coming, she thought.
“Are you okay?” he asked. “I noticed that Kristen was just here.” He moved forward and closed the door, just as Kristen had done.
She tried to reassure him. “Everything is fine. She just wanted to talk.”
“Did it help?”
Yes and no, Carol thought. Kristen’s belief in her felt good, but thinking about Jake with other women had only heightened her duress.
“It was fine,” she said again.
He didn’t look convinced. “You can go home early if you need to.”
“I’d rather stay.” She didn’t want to appear cowardly, skipping out on the first day.
Jake nodded and loosened his tie. He’d worn a proper suit to the meeting. His jacket was already gone, though. But he never remained in professional attire for too long, routinely discarding what he considered the stuffy portions of his wardrobe. Only, at the moment, his restless nature seemed even more pronounced.
He said, “No one has come to me to talk about it.”
“Why would they? You’re the boss.”
“Who knocked up his assistant? I’ll bet they think I took full advantage of you.” He frowned. “I didn’t do that, did I, Carol?”
The guilt in his eyes unnerved her. “No, you didn’t, and me getting pregnant doesn’t change the facts. I wanted you as badly as you wanted me.” She’d made him well aware of that when they were in the midst of it, and she wasn’t going to let him twist things up now. “Even Kristen said that she suspected I was attracted to you.”
“Really? I guess women are observant that way. Of course, with the way she admires you, she would notice, I guess.” He removed his tie and crammed it in his pants pocket. “I’m glad you’re back. I missed having you around here.”
“You’re probably going to be seeing a lot of me outside of the office, too.”
“Yeah.” He smiled a little. “I’ve been trying to picture you months from now.” He made a big-belly motion. “I’ve never touched a pregnant woman’s stomach before.”
Would he be touching hers? The thought made her weak. “I have. Lots of my girlfriends have kids.”
“Have you told any of them yet?”
She shook her head. “I wanted to wait until everyone at work knew. I wanted to get that over with first.” She questioned him. “Have you told Garrett or Max?”
“No. Max is still backpacking all over the country or whatever the hell he’s doing. And since he’s trying to stay off the grid, I’m going to wait to call him until the time feels right. But I’m going to tell Garrett this weekend. I already told him that you were sick, so now I can clarify why.”
“I wonder what he’ll think.”
“After he gets over the initial shock, he’ll probably want to kick my ass for not being more careful.”
“It could have happened to anyone.”
“Yeah, but it happened to me. The guy who plays around. That won’t go over well.” He shoved the tie deeper into his pocket. “Are you nervous about telling your friends?”
“Yes.” She couldn’t deny that her news was going to worry them, too. “They’re not going to like the idea of me being a single mom, not with how marriage-minded I’ve always been.”
“I’m sorry, Carol.”
For insisting that he couldn’t marry her? “It’s not a problem.” She’d agreed with his reasoning from the beginning. “I know better than to think that having a baby is going to turn us into a lifelong couple.”
“I wonder if it’s going to be a boy or a girl.”
“It’s too early to tell. But we can find out during a midpregnancy ultrasound, if we want to know. They can’t always tell for sure, though. It depends on the position the baby is in.”
He kept looking at her, almost as if she was still his warm and willing lover. “I guess we’ll cross that bridge when we come to it.”
She shuffled a stack of papers on her desk, wishing he would stop intensifying their chemistry, especially when she was struggling to ignore it. “We have a lot of bridges to cross.”
“Too many,” he said, before he moved toward the door. “Do you want me to grab you some lunch later?”
Normally she got his lunch, if he wasn’t dining out with clients. “No, thanks. But it was nice of you to ask.”
“Okay, well... I’ll see you.”
“You, too.” Was it crazy for her to wish that they were right for each other? That he was a different type of man than he was? Probably. But she couldn’t help it.
Somewhere in the pit of her dreamy soul, Carol wished that they were meant to be together like expectant parents should be.
