Читать книгу Feels Like Family - Sherryl Woods - Страница 8

5

Helen avoided Erik’s concerned gaze and dug into her hot-fudge sundae. It might only be 9:00 a.m., but Erik had been right. The combination of rich vanilla ice cream, thick fudge sauce and whipped cream was just what she needed. She could barely remember what had thrown her into such an emotional tailspin and sent her fleeing from the spa and Maddie.

What the sundae wasn’t accomplishing, Erik was. He was a very disconcerting man. Few other men would have dragged her out for ice cream at this hour or even guessed that it was what she needed. In fact, most men would have been put off by her tears and run the other way.

“You ready to tell me what’s going on?” he asked eventually.

She took another overflowing spoonful of the sundae to avoid speaking and shook her head.

“Sooner or later you’re going to finish the ice cream and you won’t have an excuse not to talk,” he reminded her as he lounged on the seat across from her, seemingly content to sip his coffee while she made a total pig of herself.

“I’ll have to leave as soon as I finish this,” she said, pleased with the perfect excuse. “I’m already running late for work. Barb will send out a search party if I don’t show up soon.”

His mouth curved into a smile. “Okay, then. You’d better start talking now.”

“Look,” she said, “I skipped breakfast. That’s the only reason you were successful at persuading me to come here. My blood sugar must have been low.”

“And is that what made you cry in public?”

She shrugged. “It can have all sorts of weird effects.”

“Trust me, that’s usually not one of them,” he said.

He sounded very sure. She studied him curiously. “What do you know about it?”

“You have no idea how many pieces of miscellaneous information I have stored away here.” He tapped his head.

“But you said that with some authority,” Helen countered. “Is that because you read up on diabetes so you could keep an eye on Dana Sue?”

“Yeah, that’s it,” he said, but his expression had become shuttered. Helen sensed this was far from the whole story. Pushing aside the sundae, she put her elbows on the table and leaned toward him. Maybe she could avoid his probing questions by asking a few of her own. “I just realized that I know very little about you. Who are you, Erik Whitney? And what were you before you became a chef?”

“What makes you think I was anything before that?” he inquired.

“Because you’d just graduated from the Atlanta Culinary Institute when Dana Sue hired you. Unless you’re a very slow learner, which I doubt is the case, you must have done something before you went there.”

He seemed increasingly uncomfortable with the direction of the conversation. “Look, the only reason we’re here in Wharton’s is so you can get whatever’s bothering you off your chest,” he reminded her. “This isn’t supposed to be about me.”

“But you’re so much more interesting, or at least your reaction is. What are you hiding, Erik?”

He regarded her incredulously. “What makes you think I’m hiding something? And what exactly do you think I’m hiding? Some nefarious past as a bank robber, perhaps? Or maybe you think I’m AWOL from the marines?”

“I’m an attorney. I deal in facts. I try not to have any preconceived ideas, which is why I’m asking you.” She tilted her head and noted the closed expression on his face. “You know what I find absolutely fascinating?”

“Not a clue.”

“You’ve gone all secretive and strong, silent type all of a sudden. Why is that, especially if you have nothing to hide?”

“No particular reason other than not liking to dwell on the past,” he said, his tone indifferent, but a tic in his jaw suggested he was anything but indifferent.

“Well, just so you know, it’s the kind of thing that kicks a lawyer’s curiosity into high gear. The art of a successful cross-examination depends on being able to read body language and expressions.” She surveyed him lingeringly, then added, “I’m considered to be very, very good at it.”

“It’s hardly the big deal you’re trying to turn it into,” he said. When she continued to pin him with her gaze, he finally shrugged. “Okay, here’s the condensed version. I was an EMT. I decided it was time for a change. There’s not a lot of drama in that.”

Helen was less surprised by the revelation than she probably should have been. It explained a lot about how observant he was when it came to Dana Sue’s monitoring her diabetes and the close eye he always kept on Annie and her eating patterns. Still, it didn’t seem as if it were something he’d want to hide, yet he’d obviously been very reluctant to reveal it. She couldn’t help wondering why.

“Did you like the work?” she asked.

“For a long time, yes,” he said, his expression still guarded. “Look, if you’re feeling better, I need to get back to the restaurant.”

“Running out on me just when things are getting interesting?” She shook her head. “It intrigues me that a man who was trying to dig around in my psyche just minutes ago can’t handle the idea of me asking personal questions.”

“I wasn’t the one having a public meltdown,” he said. “If you spot me having one, feel free to ask all the questions you want.” He tossed some bills on the table and was gone before Helen could formulate a response.

She stared after him, then distractedly picked up her spoon and ate the last few bites of her now-melted sundae.

“Now there goes one very sexy man,” Grace Wharton declared as she joined Helen. “How’d you let him get away?”

“I think I scared him off,” Helen admitted, vaguely unnerved by how guilty that made her feel. He’d been kind to her and he’d given her an excuse to take a few minutes to gather the composure she’d lost after her conversation earlier with Maddie. What had she done in return? She’d cross-examined him as if he were some kind of criminal.

“A man like that doesn’t scare too easily,” Grace said. “You didn’t mention marriage or something like that, did you? That’s the only thing I can think of that scares a confirmed bachelor.”

“The subject of marriage most definitely did not come up,” Helen assured her. “What makes you think he’s a confirmed bachelor?”

“I’ve seen just about every single woman in town throw themselves at him at one time or another,” Grace said. “He flirts right back, but that’s as far as it ever goes. For a while I thought he might be hung up on Dana Sue, but then Ronnie came back and that put an end to that.”

“Interesting,” Helen murmured. She wondered what Grace would think if she knew about the kiss Erik had laid on her not that long ago. Her lips still burned every time she thought about it. He hadn’t shown any real interest in repeating it, though. If he was a confirmed bachelor, and that kiss had shaken him as badly as it had her, maybe that alone was enough to make him cautious around her, especially when the conversation took a more personal turn.

Before she could pick apart her own theory, her cell phone rang. She snatched it out of her purse.

“You planning to come to work anytime today?” Barb asked wryly. “I have a waiting room filled with clients and they’re getting restless.”

“Oh, my God,” Helen said, glancing at her watch. It was going on ten. “I got sidetracked.”

“By Erik Whitney, if the rumors are true,” Barb said, proving that the Serenity grapevine was faster than the speed of light.

Helen didn’t fall in to her trap. “I’ll be there in five minutes.”

“Make it four,” Barb retorted. “Your nine o’clock looks as if he might start breaking things.”

“On my way,” Helen said.

When she’d turned off the phone and jammed it into her purse, she looked up into Grace’s fascinated gaze. “Never known you to be late for work,” the woman commented. “Must have been something about the company.”

Helen frowned at her amused expression. “Don’t even go there.”

“Can you think of any other reason you’d lose track of time like that?” Grace teased.

“Too much on my mind,” Helen said, “that’s all. Nothing to do with Erik.”

“If you say so,” Grace said, but she sounded skeptical. “Maybe you were hoping he’d kiss you again, the way he did at Sullivan’s a few days ago.”

Helen nearly groaned. So, Grace knew about that, after all. Unfortunately Helen didn’t have time to stick around and debate the subject with her. And what would be the point, anyway? It would only add fuel to the fire. Grace had more than enough fodder for her lunch-hour gossip mill as it was.

“Mommy, I got a tummy ache,” Daisy told Karen when it was time to get out of the car at the day-care center.

She’d picked her up from kindergarten five minutes before and spotted her climbing a jungle gym when she drove up. She regarded her daughter with dismay. “You didn’t look sick when you were playing with your friends on the playground.”

“Because I wasn’t sick then,” she said, clearly exasperated. “I want to go home.”

“You can’t go home. There’s nobody there to take care of you and I have to go to work. I’m working the late shift today.”

Daisy’s lower lip quivered. “But I’m sick,” she wailed. “I can stay with Frances.”

“Frances can’t take care of you all afternoon and evening, Daisy.”

“Please!”

Karen felt her own stomach twist into knots. She’d thought she’d put these crises behind her. She’d found a new day-care center that kept both kids ’til five, and thanks to Helen and Dana Sue, she’d found an excellent sitter to pick them up and watch them until she got home. For a week now things had gone smoothly.

In addition, Dana Sue had interviewed Tess and scheduled an on-the-job evaluation for tomorrow. Karen knew Tess would pass that with flying colors and then Karen’s backup plan could be set in motion.

She reached into the backseat and put a hand to Daisy’s forehead. No fever, thank goodness. “Sweetie, do you have a pain in your tummy? Or do you just feel sick?”

“Sick,” she said miserably, then promptly threw up to prove the point.

Karen wanted to weep. It wasn’t Daisy’s fault. She needed to keep reminding herself of that. Kids picked up a million germs at school, particularly at Daisy’s age. Karen grabbed some tissues and packets of baby wipes, then got out of the car and opened the back door to clean up her daughter.

“I’m sorry, Mommy,” she said with a sniff.

“It’s okay, baby. You can’t help getting sick.” The thought of calling the restaurant to tell Dana Sue and Erik what was going on made her feel sick to her stomach, as well.

“Do I still have to go to day care?” Daisy asked pitifully.

“No, sweetie. I’m going to take you home.”

“And stay with me?”

“Yes, I’ll stay with you.” Maybe she could go to work once the sitter got there, assuming she still had work to go to.

Half an hour later she had Daisy settled on the couch in front of the TV with a glass of ginger ale. She was about to brace herself to face Erik’s reaction, when it struck her there might be another solution. She dialed Tess.

“Tess, I know you’re not supposed to have your on-the-job evaluation ’til tomorrow, but I’ve got a problem,” she explained. “Daisy just threw up in the car. The sitter’s not due for three hours. Is there any chance at all you could work today, if Dana Sue agrees?”

“Hold on and let me check with my mom. She came in early from picking vegetables because the heat was bothering her. If she’s up to babysitting, I can do it.”

Within minutes she was back. “It’ll work on my end,” Tess said. “Call me as soon as you’ve spoken to Dana Sue. I’ll get ready in the meantime, just in case. Tell her I can be there in half an hour.”

“Thank you! You’re a lifesaver.” As soon as she’d hung up on Tess, she called the restaurant. Unfortunately it was Erik who answered. “It’s Karen,” she said.

“You’re late,” he said, obviously exasperated.

“I know. I was running right on time, but then Daisy got sick. I had to bring her home.”

“Then you’re on your way?”

“Actually I need to stay here with her,” she admitted.

“Not again,” he said, now sounding beyond annoyed. “Karen, things can’t go on like this. I thought these last- minute absences were going to end.”

“I know. I thought so, too. But it’s not as bad as before. I’ve already spoken to Tess. She can come in for her evaluation right now and take my place. She said she could be there in thirty minutes, if it’s okay with you guys.”

“Fine,” Erik said tightly.

“I’m sorry,” she apologized. “I really am, but at least this proves that my suggestion about having two of us in this job will work.”

“That remains to be seen,” he said, then sighed. “Tell Daisy I hope she feels better. She’s had a tough time lately.”

“Thanks,” she said. “Maybe you could come by sometime and have a tea party with her. She loved that.” And Karen had gotten a huge kick out of watching the very masculine Erik holding one of Daisy’s delicate, tiny teacups and drinking pretend tea.

“Sure,” he said. “We’ll work it out.”

She hung up and called Tess back, then called the sitter to tell her she wasn’t needed tonight. She’d either have Frances keep an eye on Daisy for a few minutes while she went back to the day-care center to get Mack, or she’d take Daisy with her.

In the meantime, she sank onto the sofa next to the now- sleeping Daisy and closed her eyes. Thank heaven for Tess. Without her pitching in, Karen knew that her job would have been history and there would have been nothing Helen or anyone else could have done to save it. Erik’s fragile patience was obviously at an end. And though Dana Sue owned Sullivan’s, Erik had a lot of clout when it came to decisions about what happened in the kitchen.

Not for the first time, Karen was nearly overwhelmed by just how close to the edge she was living. She had hardly any savings and very little reserve of energy for these constant emergencies. Sometimes when the kids were screaming and she was juggling bills, she wondered just how much longer she could cope without snapping.

Then she glanced over at her sleeping daughter, her long, dark eyelashes a smudge on her pale skin, and the force of her love for Dasiy flowed through her. She would do anything—anything—to protect her babies and give them the kind of loving home and security she herself had never known.

Helen wasn’t one bit surprised when she opened her front door at eight that night and found Maddie and Dana Sue on the doorstep. The only surprise was that it had taken them so long.

“Shouldn’t you be home?” she asked Maddie, then regarded Dana Sue just as inhospitably. “And shouldn’t you be at work?”

“We would both be where we belong, if you hadn’t taken off from the spa in tears this morning,” Maddie said.

“And then landed at Wharton’s with Erik, who was so concerned he dragged you over there for a hot-fudge sundae,” Dana Sue added.

“I see it didn’t take long for that piece of news to make its way around town,” Helen commented sarcastically.

“It didn’t have to travel far,” Dana Sue said. “Erik told me.”

“Really? I’m surprised. He doesn’t seem inclined to talk much about himself,” Helen said.

“In this case, he was talking about you,” Dana Sue retorted. “He thought I should know my friend was upset. When Maddie called and confirmed it and said she was worried, too, we agreed that we needed to come by and check on you.”

“Here I am, not upset,” Helen said. “You can go home now.”

“I don’t think so,” Maddie said, pushing past her. “I need to get off my feet. So does Dana Sue. It’s been a tough night at the restaurant.” Maddie headed for the sofa and sank into its cushions. “I hope you two can drag me up when it’s time to go, but right now this feels heavenly.”

“We’ll manage,” Helen assured her, then studied Dana Sue and saw that she did, indeed, look more frazzled than usual. “What happened at the restaurant tonight?”

“Karen bailed again. Fortunately she was able to get that friend of hers, Tess, to come in, but in some ways that just complicated things.”

Helen’s stomach sank. “How so? Isn’t she any good?”

“She’s great. In fact, I think she’s going to work out just fine, but on-the-job training in the midst of the dinner rush is not exactly ideal. It took more time to explain how we do things than it would have for me or Erik just to do them ourselves.”

Helen regarded her with concern. “But you’re still going to give Karen’s idea a chance to work, right?”

Dana Sue nodded. “I promised we would, didn’t I?”

“I should call Karen and let her know,” Helen said. “I’m sure she’s terrified that you’re fed up with her and her problems.”

“I spoke to her a little while ago to tell her that we’re definitely hiring Tess and that things are okay,” Dana Sue told her. “You’re right. She was relieved.”

“Now let’s get back to you,” Maddie said, reminding Helen that she could be as single-minded as anyone on earth when she needed to be.

“How about something to drink?” Helen said. “Bottled water? Juice? Decaf coffee?”

“You’re not going to distract us,” Dana Sue said, looking amused. “You know us better than that. Maddie filled me in about the whole baby dilemma. Why don’t you get one of the million and one lists you’ve no doubt made and go over it with us? Maybe we can help you sort things out.”

“No,” Helen said flatly. “Maddie was right this morning, when she said this was something I need to work out for myself.”

Both women frowned at her.

“That was then,” Maddie said. “This is now.”

“You were crying,” Dana Sue said. “In public. That is so not like you. Obviously this is too much for you to deal with on your own.”

Helen sighed. “I’m stronger than you think.”

“I would have agreed with that before this morning,” Maddie said.

“Okay, look,” Dana Sue began. “Maddie mentioned that maybe you want more than just a baby. She says you’ve been reexamining your whole life and that you think you might want the whole family thing.”

“So what? You’re going to snap your fingers and get it for me?” Helen retorted, sorry she’d ever opened her big mouth.

“We could,” Dana Sue said. “In fact, if you would just open your eyes and see what’s staring you right in the face, you could have it all.”

Helen sighed. She’d seen this one coming a mile away. “Erik, I assume.”

“Well, of course, Erik,” Dana Sue said. “He’s smart. He’s gorgeous. And he’s hot for you.”

Maddie stared at her with obvious surprise. “Really? How did I miss that?”

“You’ve had other things on your mind,” Dana Sue said to Maddie. “You missed the kiss.”

“What kiss?” Maddie asked, clearly fascinated.

“Long story,” Dana Sue said. “Trust me, though it made me go home and throw myself at Ronnie.”

Helen moaned. “I am not having this conversation with you. And stop matchmaking. Erik and I are friends,” she said, then corrected herself. “Not even friends. We’re acquaintances.”

“Sweetie, if a man kisses you like that, you’re more than acquainted,” Dana Sue replied. “You’re about ten minutes away from falling into bed together.”

“Grace Wharton says Erik is a confirmed bachelor,” Helen countered.

“Nonsense,” Dana Sue said dismissively. “Just because she doesn’t have a line on his social life doesn’t mean he doesn’t have one.”

“If he has one, then what makes you think he has any interest in someone new?” Helen asked. “You can’t have it both ways. I think it would be best if you get over the whole idea of trying to shove Erik and me together. I know that’s why you’ve been coming up with all those excuses to have me pitch in at the restaurant. It’s not because you discovered I have hidden culinary talent.”

Dana Sue’s face was the picture of innocence. “We’ve been swamped every single time you’ve helped out, and you know it.”

“Then how come you never asked Maddie to pitch in? She actually knows how to cook. So does Ronnie, for that matter. You used to ask him.”

“Yes, why haven’t you asked me?” Maddie demanded.

“Because you’ve been pregnant off and on for most of the past two years,” Dana Sue answered. “You shouldn’t be on your feet. As for Ronnie, what little spare time he has now that his hardware store has taken off, he needs to spend with Annie.”

“Yeah, right,” Helen said skeptically. “Face it, Dana Sue. I know what you’re up to and I’m telling you right now to cut it out.”

“But I think—” Dana Sue began.

“Don’t think. Go home to your husband and drag him off to bed. Maybe if you’re not feeling sex-deprived, you’ll stop worrying about my love life.”

“Trust me, not an issue,” Dana Sue said, her cheeks flushed. “You’re my friend. I want you to be as happy as I am.”

“Me, too,” Maddie said.

“Then, please, just lay off about Erik and about me having a baby. I’ll work this out for myself when the time is right.”

“We just don’t want you to wake up when you hit fifty and realize that you have all these huge regrets,” Maddie said. “The saddest question of all is ‘What if…?’”

“You mean like what if I’d never mentioned to the two of you that I thought I wanted a baby?” Helen said testily.

Maddie frowned at her. “No, I mean like what if I’d realized how much I wanted one before it was too late. You can’t go back, then, Helen.”

The aching emptiness deep inside Helen, the ache she’d been trying so hard lately to pretend wasn’t there, came back with a vengeance.

“Believe me, I know that,” she said quietly. “It’s not something I’m ever likely to forget, which is why I’m under so much pressure. I know I can’t take forever to make this decision.”

“Then get those lists of yours and let’s talk about all the pros and cons,” Dana Sue prodded.

“But…” Helen began, only to sigh when both woman regarded her with unyielding expressions. “Okay, fine. I’ll get the lists.”

She grabbed her briefcase and fished through it ’til she found the legal pad she’d reserved for just this particular topic. Page after page had been covered with her notes, including everything she’d been told by the obstetricians she’d consulted. Though she was filled with reservations about this entire conversation, she handed her notes to Maddie, whose eyes widened as she flipped through the pages.

“You could write a Ph.D. thesis with this much research,” Maddie said.

“I thought it was critical to be well-informed,” Helen replied defensively.

Dana Sue looked over Maddie’s shoulder. “You consulted medical textbooks?” she asked incredulously.

“Well, of course, I did,” Helen replied. “You don’t think I’d rely on only two sources for something this important, do you?”

Dana Sue sat back down. “I think you’re overthinking this whole thing. That’s the problem. It comes down to this, Helen. Do you want to have a child of your own or don’t you?”

“It’s not that simple,” Helen protested. “I can’t just wave a magic wand and be pregnant.”

Dana Sue regarded her with a wicked grin. “Well, the right guy could.”

Maddie swallowed a laugh. “Dana Sue!”

“Well, isn’t that really the bottom line?” Dana Sue retorted.

“No!” Helen said. “I have to know with every fiber of my being that I want this, that I can make the kind of changes in my life that having a baby will require. You were both a lot younger when you got pregnant for the first time. You were married. It was the natural order of things, the right time in your lives. Now, especially for someone who’s spent her life so far married to her career, it’s not that easy. Heck, Maddie, even you wrestled with the decision to have another baby when you and Cal got married, and you had him to support your decision.”

“True,” Maddie conceded. “But I’m still trying to pin down what has you worried. Is it a fear that you’re incapable of devoting the time required to raising a child? Are you concerned just about the process of getting pregnant— natural versus artificial insemination? Are you wondering what will happen to your child if something happens to you? Or are you just afraid that you don’t want this enough to disrupt your life? If that last one is it, then you’re right to worry. This is not something to undertake unless you’re totally committed to it.”

Dana Sue reached over and took her hand. “You do know that we’ll both be around to support you every single step of the way, don’t you? You and this baby will have a big extended family. If you hit any kind of rough patch, you won’t be in it alone, even if you do decide not to do things in the traditional way. You would be an incredible mom. Annie thinks so, too.”

“My kids feel the same way,” Maddie added. “They adore you.”

Helen’s eyes swam with tears for the second time that day. “I know that,” she whispered, swiping at the annoying evidence of what she perceived as weakness. “I guess I never thought I’d find myself in this position. I thought I’d do it all the traditional way. Time just…got away from me.”

“Well, it’s not too late yet,” Dana Sue said firmly.

“From a medical standpoint, I know that,” Helen said. “But you touched on something that does worry me. What if something happens to me? Knowing I’m the only parent could make a child feel incredibly insecure.”

“Which is why your child will always know they can turn to any of us,” Dana Sue reminded her. “Now let’s get down to business. We can stay here all night and go through those lists of yours item by item, if that will help.”

Already somewhat relieved by their reassurances and their commitment, Helen shook her head. “No, but thanks. I’ll work this out.”

“Soon,” Maddie said.

“Soon,” Helen agreed, though she immediately felt the pressure starting to build again. She hated knowing that there was no time to waste, that a decision of this magnitude couldn’t be put off forever.

Maddie struggled up from the sofa with an assist from Dana Sue. If she was this awkward now at only four and a half months, Helen couldn’t begin to imagine how ungainly she’d be by her ninth month. For some reason the image made Helen want to weep all over again. She did want that for herself. The awkwardness, the belly out to here, the kick of her baby keeping her awake at night.

It was the aftermath that terrified her—the middle-of-the- night feedings, pacing the floor trying to soothe a crying baby, letting go of a tiny hand on the first day of school, having to make excuses to the court when her child had chicken pox, making sure homework was done, teaching her son or daughter the dangers of alcohol, smoking and premarital sex. The litany of things that could make the difference between raising a happy, well-adjusted child and a kid destined for disaster scared her out of her wits. Despite the accolades from Dana Sue, Maddie and their children, what if she was lousy at all of it? What then?

“You’re overthinking it again,” Maddie said, interrupting Helen’s thoughts. She tapped her chest. “Listen to what’s in your heart. It won’t steer you wrong.”

Helen hugged both of them fiercely. “Thank you for not listening to me when I told you to go away.”

Dana Sue grinned. “Not a problem. We’ve spent a lifetime ignoring your orders. We enjoy it.”

“That’s true,” Maddie agreed. “Now get some rest. Maybe this will all be clearer to you in the morning.”

Helen doubted that, but she did feel better for having these two old, and very dear, friends offering her unconditional support. It was the one thing she should have realized she could count on long before tonight.