Читать книгу Daniel's Desire - Sherryl Woods - Страница 9

Molly wanted to smash something, preferably over Daniel’s stubborn, hard head. Fortunately, he was gone…finally. And she was left with all sorts of contradictory emotions raging inside.

She went into the kitchen and slammed a few pots and pans around, creating a satisfying cacophony of sound. When she was through, she looked up into Retta’s worried face.

“You done now?” the cook asked.

“For the moment,” Molly said, her expression sheepish as she faced the woman who’d worked for Jess for decades and served as a surrogate mother to her.

“Daniel get under your skin?”

“As if I’d let that man have any effect on me,” Molly said, then sighed at Retta’s disbelieving expression. “Okay, yes. He got under my skin, I’ll admit it. But only because he was being so pigheaded and arrogant. He came in here and accused me of hiding Kendra.”

Retta grinned, clearly amused by her indignation. “Daniel wasn’t exactly wrong about that, you know. You are hiding the girl.”

“Yes, but he didn’t know that, not for a fact,” she said, not willing to be swayed by logic. “As if he has any reason to distrust me. He’s the one who’s not trustworthy.”

“Honey, Joe Sutton saw Kendra right here, and unless Daniel’s not as sharp as he once was, he saw her, too. He wasn’t lying about that,” Retta told her quietly. “He was already through the front door when you sent her flying through here and out the back door.”

Molly frowned. “Are you saying I should have admitted that Kendra’s here and turned her over to him? I don’t know why she ran away, but I do know she’s scared about something and doesn’t want to go home.”

“I’m just saying you can’t blame him for thinking you had her stowed away somewhere.”

Because it was futile to continue arguing the point, Molly asked, “Where is Kendra, by the way?”

“I sent her over to my place. Leslie Sue will keep her occupied till I give the word that it’s safe for her to come back. Want me to call over there now?”

Molly nodded. “Make sure Leslie Sue comes back over here with her. If Kendra’s scared because of Daniel’s visit, she could take off. I need to talk to her. I have to get to the bottom of what drove her to run away from home in the first place. I told her she had a week, but it appears we’ve already run out of time. Daniel’s coming back, no question of that, and I need to prepare her for that, too. I can’t protect her if I don’t know the truth.”

“You think she’ll tell you?”

“No,” Molly admitted.

“You could call her folks, tell ’em she’s safe,” Retta suggested.

“I don’t know how to find them.”

“You do know,” Retta corrected. “The name was plain as day on that poster Daniel was waving around.” She picked up a slip of paper from the counter. “I made a note of it right here. Got the phone number, too.”

Molly hated it when anyone called her on an evasion. No one did it more often than Retta. She scowled at the woman who took pride in serving as her conscience. “I can’t betray Kendra like that.”

“Well, honey, you’d better do something unless you want Daniel underfoot every time you turn around. The man’s not going to leave this alone, no matter how uncomfortable it makes either one of you. When it comes to those kids he looks out for, he’s like a pitbull. He doesn’t let go.”

“I know that.”

“Well, then.”

“Fine. Call Kendra and get her back over here,” Molly said. The prospect of trying to pin the girl down was only minimally more appealing than trying to throw Daniel off track day after day after day.

In the meantime, she went back to tend to her long-neglected customers. When she finished making her rounds, she found Alice Devaney sitting at the bar. Molly frowned at her best friend.

“I imagine your husband sent you over here to find out if his brother had turned me into a basket case,” she said.

“Patrick mentioned that Daniel had been here,” Alice admitted. “I figured out all on my own that it would probably be an uncomfortable meeting. Are you okay?”

“I survived the first round, but there will be more unless I give him what he wants,” Molly told her.

“Which is?”

“He wants me to turn over the runaway who’s been staying here.”

“I see. Are you sure you’re doing the girl any favors by hiding her?”

“Don’t you start on me, too. She’s better off here than she would be on the streets,” Molly said defensively.

“No doubt about it,” Alice agreed. “But maybe she’d be even better off at home.”

“Or not. How can I be sure?”

“Maybe this is one area where you can trust Daniel to know what’s right,” Alice suggested cautiously. “I know that goes against the grain with you, but he is the expert.”

“At rules and regulations, not human beings.”

Alice reached for her hand. “Molly, I’m sorry he hurt you so deeply, but it is his job to find and help runaways. From everything I’ve ever heard, he’s very good at it.”

“I’m not letting him take another child away from me,” Molly retorted without thinking.

Alice gasped. “What are you saying? When did Daniel take a child from you?”

“Forget I said that,” Molly said at once. Patrick and Retta were the only two people other than herself and Daniel and the doctor at the local hospital who knew about the miscarriage. It wasn’t something she’d wanted spread around the small town of Widow’s Cove. She’d insisted that Patrick keep the details from his wife. After all, it had happened long before he and Alice had even met.

“You can’t unring that bell,” Alice said forcefully. “I’m your best friend, or at least I like to think I’ve become your best friend since I came back to Widow’s Cove and married Patrick. You can tell me what happened.”

Molly shook her head. “I don’t like talking about what an idiot I was.”

“You could never be an idiot,” Alice said fiercely. “Come on, Molly. Spill it. You’ll feel better if you talk it out. I don’t imagine Patrick’s all that good at listening. His strong suit would be threatening to knock his brother’s teeth down his throat for hurting you.”

Molly grinned. “He did offer once or twice. I turned him down, something I sincerely regret at the moment.”

“Maybe you shouldn’t have. Maybe you’d both have felt better if Patrick had taken some action.”

Molly stared at her in shock. “You’re advocating I let the two of them brawl?”

“It might have helped them get back together if they’d worked off some of the anger that’s been between them for the past few years,” Alice said. She waved off the suggestion. “But they’re not the point. You are. Tell me what happened between you and Daniel, Molly. I haven’t pressed you on this before, but I think it’s time you told me.”

Molly sighed, thinking back to her first big mistake. “I thought Daniel loved me.”

“That’s not so awful,” Alice said. “Are you so sure he didn’t?”

Molly weighed her options and concluded that she could use the advice of a woman who’d had her own struggles with a Devaney man and that complicated family history before finally winning Patrick’s heart.

“Okay, here it is in a nutshell,” she said at last. “You know that Daniel and I were together for a while.”

“I gathered that, yes. And I know it ended badly. You’ve made no secret of that.”

Molly drew in a deep breath, then summed up what had happened in as few words as possible. “It ended because he went ballistic when I told him I was pregnant. The same night we argued, I had a miscarriage and lost the baby.”

Tears promptly filled Alice’s eyes. “Oh, sweetie, I am so sorry. You must have been devastated.”

“I survived,” Molly said grimly. “But I won’t let him take Kendra away from me, not unless we know for a fact that it’s the best thing for her. The kid is hurting. It’s not that I intend to keep her for myself, for heaven’s sake, but I do want to know why she left home before I send her back to the same situation she ran away from.”

“Don’t confuse giving up Kendra with losing your baby,” Alice said gently. “The two things are not the same at all.”

“Maybe not. I just know that Daniel’s involved in both of them,” Molly replied stubbornly.

“Okay, what can I do to help?”

Molly forced a smile. “Nothing that I can think of, unless you want to stand guard at the front door and keep him out of here.”

“I doubt I’m much of a match for Daniel,” Alice said. “Anything else?”

“No, and don’t worry about it. I’ll handle Daniel.”

“You wouldn’t have to handle him if you’d just do as he’s asking and let him see Kendra. I’m sure the three of you could work this out.”

Molly knew it was a reasonable suggestion, but if she was afraid of risking it, how could she convince Kendra to trust Daniel? “I’ll try to persuade her to talk to him,” Molly finally conceded, not even trying to hide her reluctance. “But I won’t force her to do it.”

“Not good enough,” Alice said. “She’s thirteen. That’s too young to be making the kind of decisions that could affect the rest of her life. You’re the adult. You need to be smart about this, for her sake and your own.”

It was good advice and Molly knew it. In fact, when Alice had gone and Kendra emerged from the kitchen, Molly led her directly upstairs where they could have some privacy.

“Stay put,” she ordered. “You and I need to talk as soon as I serve another round of drinks.”

Kendra’s eyes widened with alarm. “Am I in trouble? What did that guy say to you? I didn’t do anything wrong. I’m not wanted for anything. I didn’t knock over some convenience store. I never even shopifted a candy bar. I swear it.”

Molly’s heart promptly melted at the girl’s rush to defend herself. “I know that. But we do have to talk, okay?”

Kendra nodded.

“Watch TV or something till I come back. Whatever you do, don’t come back downstairs tonight.”

“Is that man coming back?”

“I doubt it,” she said, then felt compelled to add, “but Daniel’s unpredictable.” She’d learned that the hard way.

Even though he was feeling cranky and completely out of sorts, Daniel detoured past his parents’ house on his way home. He told himself he wasn’t going to go inside, not when he was still worked up by his conversation with Patrick and his war of words with Molly, but as soon as he saw that every light in the house was blazing, he changed his mind and pulled into the driveway. Checking on his parents had become a nightly ritual, one he couldn’t break so easily.

Worried by all the lights, he ran up to the front door and let himself in, calling out for his mother and father as he entered.

Inside, nothing more seemed out of the ordinary. The house was filled with the scent of dinner…pot roast, if he wasn’t mistaken. The TV was blaring from the living room, a testament to the fact that his father’s hearing was worsening, though he refused to admit it.

Since he wasn’t up to competing with the evening news for his father’s attention, he wandered into the kitchen and found his mother just removing the roast from the oven. She jumped when he spoke to her.

“Daniel Devaney, are you trying to scare ten years off my life?” she demanded, a hand pressed to her chest. A pink blush tinted her pale complexion and gave her more color than usual.

“Sorry, Mom,” he said, grinning. “I thought you heard me come in. I yelled for you.”

“Who could hear a thing over that racket from the TV?” She brushed a strand of still-black hair back from her face and studied him. “You look tired and worried. Can I fix you something to drink? Dinner will be ready in a few minutes. Will you be staying?”

He shook his head. “I’ve already eaten. I had a bowl of chowder over at Jess’s.”

Her blue eyes filled with curiosity. “Oh? What were you doing there?”

“Business,” he said, but he could see that she didn’t believe him any more than Patrick had. “It’s true. Molly’s got a runaway hiding out over there.”

“Seeing Molly must have been awkward for you,” she said, watching his face intently.

“And then some,” he admitted. If she’d known the whole story, she would have realized just how awkward. He’d never told her the reason behind the long-ago breakup, most likely because he’d been too embarrassed and ashamed of his part in Molly’s miscarriage, to say nothing of the fact that he’d inadvertently left Patrick to deal with the fallout.

“I don’t suppose…” she began wistfully, avoiding his gaze.

He knew what she was asking. “Yes, Mom, I saw Patrick.”

“How is he?” she asked. “Is he well? Is he happy? Was his wife there?”

It made his heart clench to hear the eagerness in her voice. If Patrick had heard it, he’d never have been able to stay away as long as he had. “Alice wasn’t around, but he’s well and happy, I think. He still doesn’t say much to me.”

“And that’s our fault, your father’s and mine,” she said with apparent regret. “I’m sorry for that, Daniel. You two were always so close. If I could change things, I would.”

“You could tell him—tell both of us—why you and Dad left our brothers in Boston and brought us here with you.” It was the first time since the night he’d made the discovery that he’d put the question to her so bluntly.

“How would that help?” she said, tears in her eyes. “It was so long ago. You were little more than babies.”

“We could try to understand, at least. Mom, you are going to have to come up with answers sooner or later. Ryan, Sean and Michael will come here eventually, and they’ll insist on it. If you try to stonewall them, it will end any chance of a reconciliation for this family.”

Her gaze turned toward the living room, and worry creased her brow. “Your father…he can’t cope with that, Daniel.”

“He’ll have to,” Daniel said, his own gaze unrelenting for once. “You owe them, and us, an explanation. Maybe once all the secrets are out in the open, this family can finally start to heal. Don’t you want that?”

“Of course I do, it’s just that your father feels so much guilt,” she said. “He blames himself for everything that happened, even though we made the decision together. You can’t possibly imagine how difficult it was, Daniel. No one can.”

“Then tell us. Help us to make sense of it. I always thought you and Dad were such good, honorable people. Is it any wonder that this secret of yours took Patrick and me by surprise? What you did was so completely out of character.”

She shook her head, as stubborn as all of the Devaneys. “It’s up to your father. He’s locked that part of our lives away, and I can’t go against his wishes.”

“But you can talk to him, persuade him that talking about this is for the best. What you did back then is still having repercussions today.”

“You said Ryan, Sean and Michael seemed happy and well-adjusted when you met them,” she said defiantly. “And Patrick’s married now, too. How bad can the repercussions be? They’ve all moved on with their lives. Some of them even have children of their own now.”

“They moved on in spite of what happened, Mom. It’s not as if they made peace with it. And those children are your grandchildren. Don’t you want to do whatever you can to be a part of their lives?”

“I’m sure your brothers would never allow that,” she said, her expression bleak.

“But they might. Isn’t it worth taking a chance? And what about me? I’ve lost four brothers and the woman I loved because of what happened all those years ago.”

She gasped at that. “What does you breaking up with Molly have to do with anything your father and I did nearly thirty years ago?”

“It just does,” he said. “Take my word for it. The decision you and Dad made has cost all of us. Maybe it’s cost the two of you most of all.”

“We’ve learned to live with our choice,” she told him, still not backing down.

“And that means you have no regrets?” he asked bitterly.

“Of course we have regrets. We’ve had regrets every day of our lives since we left Boston, but we can’t go back in time and undo what we did.”

“You can’t undo it, but you can make it bearable for the rest of us.”

She reached out to touch him, hesitated, then drew back. “Talking about it might make things worse. Have you considered that?”

“How? How can the truth possibly be any worse than the explanations that each of us has been forced to consider? Were Ryan, Sean and Michael so unlovable? Or did you just draw straws and choose me and Patrick? Were we cuter than the others? Or less trouble? Maybe you meant to leave us behind, too, but we clung too tightly.”

Tears were spilling down her cheeks as he spewed out all the questions that had tormented him, questions he knew that his brothers must have asked themselves a million and one times, as well. How could boys of nine, seven and five have been expected to cope with being abandoned? It would have been natural for them to have blamed themselves, to have grown up thinking they didn’t deserve to be loved. It was a miracle they’d opened their hearts to anyone.

“Oh, Daniel, don’t do this,” she whispered. “Not to yourself. Not to us.”

“Why not, Mom? You and Dad did it to us.” He pushed away from the table. “I’ve got to get out of here.”

“Daniel, don’t leave. Not like this.”

“I can’t stay.”

“At least say hello to your father before you go,” she pleaded.

“I can’t. If I do, I’ll say something I’ll regret.”

He left through the kitchen door and went for a walk, too angry and upset to get behind the wheel of a car. Why couldn’t they see that their secrets were destroying their family? What could have driven them to make such a devastating decision all those years ago?

As badly as he wanted answers, he knew that his brothers wanted them even more. They deserved them. He’d tried to warn his mother about that. One of these days, there was going to be a confrontation, and it was going to get ugly. And as much as he loved his parents, as much as he felt he owed them, he wasn’t sure he was going to be able to bring himself to mediate, to be the cool voice of reason in such a volatile situation. At that moment, if he had to choose sides, he was going to be on his brothers’. His parents were dead set on not giving him even the tiniest excuse to be on theirs.

Molly was bone weary by the time she climbed the stairs to her apartment. She’d meant to get away sooner, but the bar had been busy and Retta had been on her feet too long as it was. Molly hadn’t been able to ask her to fill in waiting on tables.

When she opened the door to the apartment, the TV was on, but Kendra was sound asleep on the sofa, her dark lashes like smudges of soot on her pale cheeks. If Molly wasn’t mistaken, there were dried traces of tears there, as well.

“Oh, Kendra, what’s going on with you?” she whispered as she pulled a blanket over the girl. “I can’t hide you forever, not with Daniel breathing down my neck.”

Not that Molly minded the prospect of going a few rounds with Daniel. In fact, if there was some way she could turn his life into a living hell, she was all for it. It would be downright exhilarating.

And maybe a little too much like the old days, she admitted honestly. That could be dangerous. She wasn’t over Daniel, not by a long shot. If she hadn’t already known that, the sparks flying between them this afternoon would have been a wake-up call. Anyone with any sense knew that hate was the flip side of love, that so much passion could turn on a dime into the opposite emotion. Hating Daniel was a habit, but so was loving him. It was easy enough to hate him deeply and thoroughly from a distance, but proximity had a way of confusing things. Hormones kicked in, and common sense flew straight out the window.

So, she needed to get him back out of her life for her own protection. And the only way to do that was to resolve the situation with Kendra. Easier said than done.

In just a couple of days the girl had stolen a piece of Molly’s heart. She was smart and full of life. She was eager to help, desperate for praise. She was all the things Molly had been when she’d come to live with her grandfather. Jess had been there for her, steady as a rock. Now it was her turn to do the same for another scared child.

Resolved to stand by Kendra, no matter what, she went into her room and tried to see it as Daniel must have seen it earlier. Had he remembered the times they’d spent together in her bed? Had he noticed that his picture was no longer on her dresser?

She reached into a nightstand drawer and found the photo, taken on a rocky cliff overlooking the Atlantic. His hair, normally so neatly trimmed to keep the natural curl tamed, had been caught by the wind and mussed. A navy sweater made his blue eyes seem even darker. And his smile…she sighed just looking at it. It was a heartbreaker of a smile, complete with devastating dimples and a flash of pure mischief in his eyes. This was the Daniel she’d fallen in love with, the one with his guard down and nary a rulebook in sight.

The Daniel who’d barged back into her life today was the hard professional without so much as a glint of humor in his eyes. When he was like that, it was easy enough to pretend that she’d never felt a thing for him. Of course, the pretense was just that, a lie to keep her safe.

Her hand instinctively went to her belly, covering the empty womb where her child—hers and Daniel’s—should have been safe, should have grown until ready to face the world. She struggled against a flood of tears.

“I am not shedding one more tear over that man,” she said staunchly. And she’d shed all she could over her lost child.

But despite her intentions, the tears fell anyway. She sank onto the edge of the bed, still clutching the picture, mentally cursing herself for not having thrown it away years ago.

A whisper of sound had her wiping her eyes before she faced Kendra, who was standing uncertainly in the bedroom doorway.

“Are you okay?” the teen asked worriedly.

“I’m just fine,” Molly reassured her, then patted the edge of the bed. “Come sit here for a minute.”

Kendra sat next to her, keeping a careful distance between them. “I tried to wait up for you. I guess I fell asleep.”

“That’s okay.”

“We can talk now, if you want.”

“Sweetie, I need to know why you ran away from home. That’s the only way I can help you.”

“I can’t say,” Kendra said, her expression apologetic. “I’m sorry. You’re being real nice to me, but I can’t. It will ruin everything.”

What an odd thing to say. Puzzled, Molly studied her. “What will it ruin?”

“Can’t I just stay here a little longer, please? I’m helping Retta. She said I was doing good. She taught me to make chowder today, and the customers liked it. I heard them say so.”

“You are good, and if it were just about a job, you could stay,” Molly told her. “But you have a home, Kendra. You have parents who are worried sick about you. I have to think about them, too.”

“Is this just because you don’t want to keep fighting with that man who came today?”

“No, it’s because I feel guilty standing between you and your parents when I don’t know what’s going on.” She tucked a finger under Kendra’s chin and forced the girl to meet her gaze. “What did they do that was so awful?”

“It’s not what they did,” Kendra said at last. “It’s what they’re gonna do.”

“I don’t understand.”

“They’re going to send me away,” she said, barely choking back a sob. “I’m just saving them the trouble.”

And before Molly could ask a single question, Kendra was out of the room and out of the apartment, thundering down the stairs and out into the night.

Molly raced after her, then stopped when she got to the front door of Jess’s. Kendra was outside, but she hadn’t gone far. Molly pulled a chair over by the door and waited, leaving light from the bar spilling into the street. She wanted Kendra to know that when she was ready, this was one home she could come back to.