Читать книгу After Tex - Sherryl Woods, Sherryl Woods - Страница 10

Tears streaming down her cheeks and, no doubt, destroying her carefully applied makeup, Megan retreated to the back steps, where she was pretty sure no one would find her. The fight with Jake had been absurd. She knew that. But it had set off a whole slew of insecurities and stirred up anger and resentment that she’d kept pretty well tucked away inside for the past couple of days.

The anger had been misdirected, of course. It was Tex she was furious with, not Jake. She was mad at him for being sneaky and conniving and, most of all, for being dead.

Now she’d never have the chance to tell him that she loved him, that she owed him or that she was sorry they’d fought. It was too late to take back what she’d said—not that she would have—about belonging in New York, not Wyoming, no matter how much it hurt him to hear it.

The cold air was drying the tears on her cheeks and setting up goose bumps when she heard a soft, shuffling sound and noticed Tess creeping up beside her. The girl’s face was streaked with dried tears and dirt, and her hair was a tangle of mussed curls and straw. Obviously she’d paid another visit to the barn. As pitiful as she appeared, she still shot a defiant look at Megan.

“Why are you crying?” Tess demanded, as if Megan had no right to shed tears over Tex.

“Same reason as you, I imagine.”

“You didn’t care about Tex,” Tess accused.

“Yes, I did,” Megan corrected mildly.

“Sure didn’t show it. I been here six months and this is the first I’ve seen of you.”

“Because I work in New York.”

“So? You make a lot of money, least that’s what Tex said. You could have come home, if you’d wanted to.”

Megan sighed. “Yes, I suppose I could have.”

Tess seemed startled by the quick admission. “How come you didn’t, then?”

“It’s complicated,” Megan said, for lack of a better explanation.

“Complicated how?” Tess asked, refusing to be put off.

Was this what life was going to be like from now on? Was she going to be asked tough questions by a kid, rather than a reporter? Megan struggled to find a plausible answer that would satisfy an eight-year-old. “Tex and I didn’t always see eye to eye about the choices I made.”

“Like what?”

“Like me living in New York.”

“You liked it better than here?”

“Yes.”

“I don’t get it,” Tess said. “This place is the best. There’s stuff to do and it’s real pretty. Why would you rather be in some big, ugly city, all crowded in?”

The characterization of New York had Tex’s stamp all over it. Megan had heard it often enough over the years. She supposed now was as good a time as any to contradict it, to get Tess excited about the prospect of moving east.

“Because my work is there,” she explained. “And because it’s filled with people from all over the world. It’s amazing, like no place else I’ve ever been. It’s bright and glitzy and energetic. There’s something going on every minute. There are museums and plays and wonderful restaurants. You’ll see.”

Tess regarded her suspiciously. “What do you mean, I’ll see?”

“When you come there to live with me.”

Tess backed up, her expression as horrified as if Megan had suggested taking her on a spaceship to an alien world. “I’m not coming there. No way. You can’t make me, either.”

Megan reached out a hand, but Tess moved farther away.

“This is where I live. It’s where I belong,” the girl all but shouted. “Tex said. He promised!”

Tess turned then and ran, leaving Megan shaken. She hadn’t expected such a violent reaction. Why hadn’t Tex prepared Tess? Foolish question. Because he hadn’t believed he was going to die. Then again, there was the will, naming her as Tess’s guardian. That proved he had known. He’d just chosen not to stir things up. He’d left that to Jake.

As if just thinking about him had conjured him up, Jake appeared at the doorway behind her, his expression filled with concern.

“You okay?” he asked.

“Just peachy,” she said without looking up.

“I’m sorry for upsetting you earlier.”

Megan started to lie, to protest that he wasn’t even capable of upsetting her, but she didn’t have the energy for the debate that would have inevitably followed. Instead, she just shrugged, as if it were of no consequence.

“People are beginning to leave,” he said. “They’d like to say goodbye, if you’re up to it.”

Because it was expected, she stood and brushed herself off, patted her cheeks to smooth out her makeup, and offered Jake a bright smile.

“Of course I’m up to it. The O’Rourkes don’t indulge in self-pity.”

“No one would think any less of you today if you did,” Jake noted.

“I would,” she muttered, and swept past him. In her business world, appearances mattered. In Wyoming, they mattered, too, though for very different reasons. Here it was important not to seem standoffish, to be the good neighbor that Tex had been, to show what O’Rourkes were made of.

Megan kept that smile plastered on her face for the next hour as she accepted condolences from dozens of people she’d never met before and dozens more she hadn’t seen in years.

When the last of them had left, she sank into a chair and breathed a sigh of relief. But she realized she’d done it a bit too soon when Jake settled into a chair opposite her. He’d shed the jacket of his black suit and loosened his tie, which gave him a rumpled, sexy look that would have been hard to resist if she hadn’t been so utterly exhausted.

“I thought you’d gone,” she said.

“Sorry to disappoint you,” he said wryly. “But we have business to take care of, unless you’d rather come into town tomorrow.”

She was sorely tempted to take him up on the delay, but that would be cowardly. “No,” she said finally. “Let’s just get it over with. I can see you won’t be happy until you’ve spilled whatever deep, dark secrets have been nagging at you ever since I got here.”

He pulled a sheaf of papers from a briefcase. “Want me to do a formal reading of the will or would you rather scan it yourself?”

She held out her hand for the papers. The document in a blue folder was the will, she concluded after a glance. An envelope held a letter from Tex. Her fingers trembled as she took out the pages and stared at his familiar scrawl.

“Darling girl,” it began, as his letters always had, even when he’d been mad at her. Tears stung her eyes. She wouldn’t break down now, not in front of Jake. Swallowing hard, she lifted her gaze to his. “I’m not so sure I can do this right now, after all.”

He took the papers. “Let me.” Putting the letter aside, he started with the will, reading through a lot of legal jargon that held no surprises. There were bequests for Mrs. Gomez and other employees, a trust fund for Tess, and the legal guardianship arrangement putting Megan in charge of Tess’s future.

“Is that it?” she asked when Jake paused.

“Not quite. On this last part, though, I think the letter spells out his wishes better than all the legalese that’s in the will. Maybe you’ll understand his reasoning better. If it’s too painful, I can read it aloud for you.”

His words, his tone alerted her that what was to come wasn’t going to thrill her. Perhaps she could do a better job of concealing her reaction if she read the letter to herself, after all.

“I’ll read it,” she said, taking the letter from Jake’s outstretched hand.

It began with a plea for her understanding about Tess, an apology of sorts by Tex’s standards.

I know I’m leaving you with a burden that, by rights, isn’t yours to shoulder, but I’m counting on you, girl. Be a mother to that child. Lord knows, she hasn’t had much of one up till now.

Megan glanced at Jake. “Do you know anything about Tess’s mother?”

“Her name—Contessa Florence Olson.”

“Contessa?”

“A name, not a title, I assure you,” he said wryly. “She goes by Flo. From what Tex told me she was waiting tables at a restaurant in Laramie when he met her about nine, maybe ten years back. They saw each other from time to time over a year or so. A matter of convenience, I believe he called it.”

So, Megan thought, it had begun about the time she’d gone away to college. Tex had been lonelier than she’d realized and had turned to a stranger for companionship. Funny, Megan had never thought of Tex as being lonely. He’d seemed like the most self-contained man she’d ever known.

“He had no idea she was pregnant?” Megan asked.

Jake shook his head. “Not until Flo appeared one day about six months ago, said she was tired of the hassle, that it was his turn to take responsibility for the kid. Off she went without a backward glance. She hasn’t been heard from since. I’ve checked and there’s no sign of her in Laramie. No one there has heard from her.”

“Poor Tess,” Megan murmured, knowing precisely how she must have felt the night she’d been left behind. Pity wasn’t what Tess needed, though. She needed a home, and Megan wasn’t the least bit convinced she could provide one. Tex, however, hadn’t given her much of a choice. She returned her attention to the letter.

When I’m gone, give the child some time right here on the ranch to adjust. Don’t go dragging her off to New York. Thanks to the way her mama dumped her here and ran off, Tess’s world has been turned upside down too much as it is. You should remember what that was like, Megan. It’ll be a bond between you. Seems to me you’ll be good for each other. You both need family whether you realize it or not. It’s been sorely lacking in both your lives. I regret that more than I can say, but I did the best I could by both of you.

So far, Tex’s request wasn’t much of a shocker. It made sense to stick around for a couple of weeks to give Tess a little time to get her feet back on the ground again. With Todd and Micah to handle things in New York, Megan could juggle her responsibilities and make that work.

Then she recalled Tess’s earlier reaction to the idea of going to New York, and she realized with dismay that her grandfather hadn’t intended this to be a temporary adjustment at all. He wanted Megan back here permanently. Jake had pretty much laid that out for her, too, when he’d said if she didn’t follow her grandfather’s wishes, the ranch would be up for grabs, and that he was first in line to claim it.

A terrible sinking sensation settled in the pit of her stomach as she read on.

Whatever it is you have to do to keep all those balls you’re juggling in the air can just as easily be done from here. That’s what faxes and computers were made for, leastways that’s what you’re always telling me. Put technology to good use. Make this one of those challenges you’re always talking about. You can make it work, Megan, if you want to badly enough.

Could she? Tex certainly had more faith in her than she had in herself, at least in this one area. Megan glanced back at the page and saw that there was more.

If you choose to go, if other arrangements need to be made for Tess, well, Jake knows what to do. You’ve made your own way. You don’t need anything I could leave you. I have to take care of the child, Meggie. I have to see to what’s best for her.

He’d phrased the letter in the form of a request, but it was evident from this final paragraph that it was a whole lot more than that. Megan was to stay on the ranch with Tess indefinitely, become the rancher he’d always wanted her to be—or lose everything. Her choice, or so he wanted it to seem.

“He expects me to stay here?” she demanded, staring at Jake for confirmation of her own interpretation of the letter.

“Yes.”

“Or?”

“The ranch will be sold—to me—and the money will be put in trust for Tess.”

“He can’t mean it,” she whispered, even though she knew that he had.

“He did.”

“But I can’t go on living here. I can’t just walk away from my career, everything that means anything to me.”

Jake shrugged. “You have a choice. Stay, or go and lose the ranch. Tess can stay on here with me.”

“That’s no choice. I don’t give a damn about the ranch. I never have.”

“Then walk away. You certainly don’t need his money or his land, right?”

“No,” Megan agreed. She didn’t need land or money, but she had always craved Tex’s approval, and she knew that even from the grave he’d withhold it if she didn’t at least try to do as he asked.

Besides, she thought, who else was there? Not Jake, no matter how calmly he had declared his willingness to step in. She wouldn’t have him doing what was by rights her duty. She—Lord help them both—was all Tess had, just as Tex had once been all Megan had had. She would manage just as Tex had. O’Rourkes always did what was expected of them. It had been her grandfather’s mantra.

“So, what’s it going to be, Meggie? Will you stay or go?”

“You’d just love it if I left, wouldn’t you? You’d stay here, do the noble thing, be a hero.”

“I’m not sure I’d be declared a hero, but your leaving would ease the way toward me getting this ranch.” He shot her a lazy grin. “But I can wait. Having you around again might be even more fascinating.”

That night was the longest of Megan’s life. She felt as alone and every bit as afraid as she had when her mother had abandoned her on Tex’s doorstep years before. The only thing that kept her from sinking into despair was knowing that, as bad as she felt, Tess probably felt worse—more frightened and even more alone.

Not that the child would show it. Tess had avoided her for most of the evening, and when Megan had offered to go upstairs with her and tuck her in, the girl had jeered, “I ain’t no baby,” and stalked off with shoulders squared proudly.

In the moments that followed, Megan had longed for someone she could confide in, but the only person who came to mind was Jake, and she refused to give him the satisfaction of seeing her vulnerable and uncertain.

By the time it occurred to her that Peggy would have listened and probably offered sensible, down-to-earth advice, it was too late to call.

“Get a grip,” Megan muttered to herself when the illuminated dial on her bedside clock ticked on toward four o’clock.

She reminded herself that she ran an entire media conglomerate, that she had all sorts of resources at her disposal, that she was known worldwide for her creative solutions to all sorts of social dilemmas. Surely she could come up with something that fit the fix she was in.

By five she was up, dressed and in the kitchen searching for the coffee grinder. When she found nothing but a store brand of already ground, ordinary Colombian beans, she sighed heavily, put them into the automatic coffeemaker and waited to see what sort of pitiful brew emerged. She grimaced at the taste, but it was hot and loaded with caffeine, so it would do.

At five-thirty she reached for the phone and called her office. Todd picked up on the first ring.

“How’s it going back there?” she asked, suddenly unsure just how much she was ready to tell him about the upcoming upheaval in all their lives. No matter what her final decision, some things would inevitably change.

“We’re managing,” he assured her. “What about you?”

“Same here.”

“When will you be back?”

“Well, that’s the thing,” she began slowly.

“Megan, is there some sort of a problem?” he asked sympathetically. “I know losing Tex can’t be easy, despite the way you two argued all the time. We can cope around here for a couple of weeks if you need more time.”

She drew in a deep breath. “It may be a little longer than that.”

Todd fell silent. “How long?” he asked eventually.

“I’m not saying it’s going to happen. It’s certainly not what I want—”

“Spit it out, Megan. What’s the worst-case scenario?”

“Worst case? Unless I can find some other way to handle certain things, and believe me I am trying, I could be here permanently.”

“Permanently?” he echoed, as if the word were unfamiliar. “As in forever?”

“That’s the definition I’m most familiar with.”

“What the hell is going on out there?” Todd demanded. “Have you been taken captive or something?”

“The days of the Wild West are pretty much over,” Megan assured him, grinning despite herself.

“Then what?”

“It’s gotten complicated,” she said, settling for the same word she’d used with Tess.

Todd was no more satisfied with the response than Tess had been. “Complicated how? The estate and stuff?”

“You could say that.”

“Megan, why don’t you just spit it out?” he repeated with a rare touch of impatience. “I need to know what we’re up against here. Are you closing things down? Selling out?”

“Absolutely not!” It was more certainty than she’d displayed with Jake, but she realized she’d made her decision about that overnight.

“Then explain.”

“Tex’s legacy wasn’t exactly what I expected.”

“More money? Less? The ranch? What?”

“An eight-year-old daughter.”

That silenced her unflappable assistant.

“Todd?”

“I’m here. I’m just grappling with this. He left you a daughter?”

“That pretty much sums it up, except for the part where I have to stay here to raise her.”

“You’ve got to be kidding me.”

“I wish to hell I were.”

“You with a kid,” he said with evident amazement. “It boggles the mind.”

“Doesn’t it just?” she agreed. “But that’s where I am. I’m still trying to figure out how to make all this work, so don’t go blabbing the news around and set off a panic, okay? My goal is to get back to New York, but that could take time and some legal tap dancing, okay?”

“My lips are sealed,” he assured her. “Uh, Megan, just what are some of the options you’re considering? Commuting, maybe?”

“It’s on the list,” she agreed, though even she had to concede that as a practical matter it was seriously lacking. She wasn’t sure Todd was ready to hear another option she’d been toying with all night long. Envisioning Todd and the others—savvy, sophisticated New Yorkers one and all—trying to adapt to life in Wyoming had given her one of the only good laughs she’d had overnight. Last resort, she’d finally conceded. That was definitely her last resort.

“Commuting could work,” Todd said, as if eager to convince her. “There are faxes and e-mail. And just imagine all those frequent-flyer miles. Plus you’d be halfway to the West Coast, so trips to L.A. would be a breeze, too. Just say the word and I’ll start writing up a plan.”

“Not just yet. I still have some thinking to do. In the meantime, I’ll pick up a fax machine and a computer for Tex’s office here. I’ll call as soon as I can get everything set up. Now tell me what’s happening there. Everything on schedule?”

“Running like clockwork,” he assured her. “I shifted the taping schedule on the show till next week. If you can’t make that, we’ll adjust, despite Micah’s dire predictions that it’ll be a disaster. There are enough shows pretaped to hold us for a while. The lead story for the magazine’s been laid out. I can fax you the pages as soon as you say the word.”

“Terrific. I don’t know what I’d do without you. I’ll talk to you later. Tell Micah I’ll check in with her before the end of the day, too.”

“Right.” He hesitated. “By the way, Megan, don’t think I haven’t noticed that it’s practically the middle of the night there. Now that I know your brain does actually function in the morning,” he taunted, “I might start scheduling those a.m. meetings for eight.”

“Don’t even think about it,” she warned, but she was chuckling as she hung up.

“Everything okay at your office, niña?” Mrs. Gomez asked from behind her.

Megan turned. “I didn’t hear you come in. I hope I didn’t wake you with all my commotion in here. I really appreciate you staying over till things settle down.”

“This is not a problem. I can stay as long as you like. My sister will take care of things at my house. As for waking me, we’re early risers here. You know that. Tess will be down any minute wanting breakfast.”

“And then what?” Megan asked, at a loss about what sort of routine the child had.

The housekeeper regarded her quizzically. “I don’t understand what you are asking.”

“Does she go to school?”

“Well, of course she does, though I thought it best that she not go this week because of Tex. She will return on Monday and things will settle back to normal.”

Megan wanted to scream that things would never be entirely normal again. She wanted to ask what could possibly be normal about Tex’s empty office or his empty place at the table. She wanted to ask what was normal about becoming an overnight mother to a child she hadn’t even known existed a few days ago.

“You will see, niña,” Mrs. Gomez consoled, as if she had read Megan’s mind.

Before Megan could argue, Tess wandered into the kitchen, gave Megan a distrustful look and sat down at the far end of the big oak table.

“I thought you’d be gone by now,” she said.

“Did you really?”

“I know what a busy life you have in New York,” she mocked. “You told me so yourself. Go, if you want. We don’t need you here.”

“Tess,” Mrs. Gomez scolded, placing a hand on the girl’s shoulder. “Be polite.”

Tess retreated into scowling silence. Megan didn’t have the strength or the ingenuity just then to try to coax her out of it. Besides, Tess’s distrust was justified. Megan hadn’t done much to prove she intended to stick it out in Wyoming. How could she when she didn’t know herself what decision she would finally reach? Maybe her actions today would help give them both some breathing room, though.

“If you’ll excuse me,” Megan said, pushing her chair back, “I have to go into town for a few things today. I’m going into Tex’s office to make a list.”

“A trip into town will do you good,” Mrs. Gomez agreed a little too enthusiastically. Then she added slyly, “Why not take Tess along?”

“No way,” Tess blurted, just as Megan was about to protest as well.

Mrs. Gomez went on as if their reactions had been more positive. “Tess can show you where things are. There are new stores since the last time you were here.”

“I suppose that makes sense,” Megan conceded grudgingly. “Tess, would you like to come along?”

“Not really,” the girl grumbled, but at a sharp glance from the housekeeper, she shrugged. “Might as well. I ain’t got nothing else to do.”

“Working on your grammar might be one alternative,” Megan muttered, but she forced a smile. “Terrific. We’ll leave in an hour.”

But in an hour, there was no sign of Tess. If it had been up to Megan, she would have left without her, but Mrs. Gomez seemed to be determined to send the two of them off on some sort of bonding experience.

“She will be in the barn,” she told Megan. “There are kittens there. They seem to give her some comfort.”

Thinking of Tess turning to a litter of helpless kittens for consolation shamed Megan sufficiently that she walked to the barn in search of the girl. Sure enough, she was hunkered down with kittens scrambling all around her.

“They’re cute,” Megan said, drawn to them despite herself.

“I’m not giving them away,” Tess stated defiantly.

“Did I ask you to?”

“No, but you will.”

Megan imagined that was what Tex had insisted on. He’d always allowed a single cat to wander the barn in search of mice, but no more, and never one in the house as a pet. She had longed for one of her own, a warm ball of fluff who would curl up in her lap and sleep on her bed, but she had dared to ask only once. Tex’s curt refusal had kept her silent about wanting a pet from then on.

“You could bring them up to the house, if you like,” Megan suggested casually. “When they’re a little bigger and the mother won’t mind.”

Tess stared at her with wide eyes. “I could?”

The longing in her voice brought a lump to Megan’s throat. She nodded. “I don’t see why not.”

“Jake thought it might be okay, too, but I figured you’d never go for it.”

“I will on one condition,” Megan said.

Tess frowned. “I knew it! I knew there’d be a catch.”

“No catch, just a condition. I want one of the kittens for my own.”

Tess simply stared, clearly too shocked for words.

“Is it a deal?” Megan asked.

“Yeah!” Tess said excitedly, then caught herself. “I mean, I suppose that would be okay.”

Megan held back a grin. It wasn’t much, she concluded as they walked to the car, but it was a start. If only the next ten years or so would go as easily, maybe they would survive them.