Читать книгу Return To Rose Cottage: The Laws of Attraction - Sherryl Woods, Sherryl Woods - Страница 9

Fresh from his second disconcerting, intriguing encounter with Ashley D’Angelo, Josh knew he couldn’t delay the inevitable talk with Stephanie for another minute. That explosion of hormones Maggie had referred to had been very real. It had been a couple of hours now, and he was still half-aroused when he thought about it. Stephanie had never had that effect on him. They’d been friends who’d understood what was expected of them and accepted that real passion wasn’t part of it.

Even as he reached for the phone, he acknowledged that it was probably a conversation he should be having face-to-face. Since he didn’t plan on being back in Richmond for a while, though, he wanted to get it over with now, tonight. Something told him that by morning, or at least by the time he had his next encounter with Ashley, he should be totally free from the past.

Fortunately, Stephanie was a night owl. Even though it was after eleven, he knew she’d be awake. What he hadn’t expected, though, was the sound of a party in full swing in the background when she answered. She sounded carefree and happy, happier than he could recall her being in a long time. Somehow when they were together, she always seemed subdued and thoughtful.

“Steph, it’s me,” he said.

“Josh, sweetheart, I wasn’t expecting to hear from you this late.”

“Evidently.” He had no idea why he couldn’t seem to keep the edge out of his voice. He wasn’t jealous. No, if anything, he was relieved. Maybe this odd mood he was suddenly in simply had to do with the possibility that now wasn’t the best time to have this conversation, after all. “Look, you obviously have company. Maybe I should call back in the morning.”

“Don’t be silly. It’s just a few friends kicking back on a Friday night. I’ll just go into the other room, where I can hear better.”

The music and laughter grew more muffled. “There. That’s better,” she said. “How’s it going? Are you having a good time? Are you getting all that deep thinking done?”

“Some of it,” he said.

“I wish you’d let me come with you. Maybe I could have helped. You’ve always liked bouncing ideas off of me in the past.”

“Normally that’s true,” he said, “but not this time. I had to work this out on my own.”

“You’re thinking about us, aren’t you?” she asked, sounding resigned but not surprised.

Josh had always known that Stephanie was smart and intuitive, but he hadn’t expected her to cut right to the chase on this one. “Yes,” he admitted. “I think we need to talk about where we’re headed.”

“Okay,” she said.

“I owe you better than a conversation on the phone, but I didn’t want to wait till I get back.”

“Come on, Josh, just say it and get it over with,” she chided.

“I know your father is counting on us announcing our engagement soon and that we’ve been talking about it for a long time now,” he began. “But I think you and I both know that he’s more enthusiastic about the idea than either of us are.”

His words were greeted with silence.

“Stephanie?”

“What are you saying, Josh?” she asked.

He sucked in a deep breath and forced himself to be brutally honest. “That we’re all wrong for each other, Steph. We both know it. We’ve been trying to make the pieces fit, but they don’t. This isn’t your fault, Stephanie. You’re amazing. It’s me. I want something else. I wish I could explain it better than that, but I can’t. I only know this isn’t fair to either one of us. I need to let you go, and I feel sure you’ll be far happier with someone else.”

“I see,” she said softly.

She didn’t sound half as brokenhearted as he’d feared she might. “I’m sorry,” he apologized.

“No need to be,” she said, sounding oddly relieved.

Josh was astounded that she was taking his announcement so well. He’d expected tears or histrionics. In fact, he’d been dreading a messy emotional scene, if only because he was throwing a monkey wrench into her father’s plans for the two of them, and Stephanie was, first and foremost, a dutiful daughter who understood what was expected of her.

“Do you mean that?” he asked, still not quite believing that the breakup could go so smoothly.

“To be honest, I’ve seen this coming,” she confessed. “It’s something I should have done myself, but I’ve never had the courage to defy my father. I guess I owe you for making it easy.”

“You’re really okay with this?” he asked.

“Were you hoping I’d fight you?” she asked, sounding amused.

“No, of course not, but—”

She laughed. “No buts, darling. You’re off the hook. I’m weak, not stupid. To be perfectly honest, I’ve known for months now that we’re not a good match, not for the long term. I guess I was hoping that Daddy was right, because you are so damn nice.”

Josh was getting a little tired of being nice tonight. Nice guys usually finished last. Sometimes he wondered if that wasn’t why he was so uncomfortable in a courtroom. He hated going for the jugular. He preferred mediation to confrontation.

“You’re probably letting me off too easy,” he told her. “I doubt your father will be half as understanding. Would you like me to explain all this to him?”

“Forget about Daddy. I’ll talk to him,” Stephanie assured him. “I won’t let him kick you out of the firm over this.”

“You don’t need to go to bat for me,” Josh said. “I’ll handle your father if I decide I want to stay on.”

“If? You’re thinking about quitting your job?” she asked, clearly far more shocked by that than by his decision to break up with her.

“Actually I am,” he admitted. “But I’m trying not to do anything hasty.” He was a plodder, after all. He liked knowing that all his ducks were in a row before doing anything too drastic. It had taken his immediate and intense attraction to Ashley to get him to make this decision. Otherwise he might have drifted along indecisively for a while longer just because being with Stephanie was comfortable.

“I do love you, you know,” she told him. “Just not the way you ought to be loved. And I want you to be happy.”

“I want the same for you.” He recalled the lively sounds of the party. “Something tells me you won’t have to wait too long.”

“What about you?” she said. “What kind of woman do you really want?”

An image of Ashley resurfaced for about the hundredth time since they’d met that afternoon. He wasn’t about to mention it, though. He wasn’t that foolish. Stephanie might be taking the breakup with a great deal of grace, but he doubted she’d like knowing that he’d found a replacement already.

“I’ll let you know when I’ve figured that out,” he promised.

She laughed. “Please do. Will you call me when you get back to Richmond?”

“Sure, if you want me to.”

“I’d like us to stay friends,” she told him with unmistakable sincerity. “You’re the best one I ever had. I’m not sure I realized that until tonight, when you set me free.”

“Then this is a good thing for both of us?” he asked, still worried a bit by her calm demeanor.

“It really is,” she assured him. “Now go out there and find the woman who’s really right for you, and I’ll dance at your wedding.”

“You’re amazing,” he said sincerely.

“I know,” she said, laughing. “I think I’m just now figuring that out, too.”

Josh hung up and sighed. Relief washed over him. That had gone a thousand times better than he’d anticipated. If only all the other decisions on his plate would go half as smoothly.

Ashley had scrubbed the kitchen floor, cleaned out the refrigerator, rearranged the cupboards and even considered the bags of bulbs that Melanie had surreptitiously left on the back steps. She might be going stir-crazy, but she wasn’t quite ready for a close encounter with the garden worms just yet.

Still, it was barely midmorning, and she’d already done every single thing she could think of to do inside the house. She’d passed her limit on coffee for the morning and eaten a bran muffin and a banana, which was more than she’d usually consumed by this hour.

Normally by late morning, she’d been to the gym and had already been at her desk for hours. There was little question that exercise was what she needed now to take the edge off the stress.

Suddenly she recalled the kayak that used to be stored in what had once been a garage but was too small to accommodate anything other than the smallest of today’s vehicles. She found the key to the lock and opened the creaky door. Sure enough, the kayak was still inside, along with its paddle.

Pushing aside all the boxes that had been stored around it, she finally managed to drag the kayak out. She hosed it down, then dragged it to the water’s edge. She found a baseball cap on a hook in the kitchen, retrieved the paddle from the old garage, then climbed into the kayak and shoved off, praying that paddling was like riding a bicycle, something one never forgot.

At first she stayed close to shore to be sure the kayak was still seaworthy and hadn’t sprung any leaks over the years. When she was finally satisfied that it wasn’t going to sink and that she still had the hang of paddling it, she grew more ambitious.

The September sun was beating down on her bare shoulders and glaring off the water. She wiped the sweat off her brow and paused long enough to twist her hair into a knot on top of her head and stuff it under the cap, then began to paddle in earnest.

It took Ashley some time to find her rhythm and longer to move at a pace that provided real exercise. When her arms and shoulders started aching, she let the kayak drift, leaned back and closed her eyes. The sun felt good now that it was being tempered by a breeze. Her body felt energized and, in an odd way, lazy at the same time. Maybe this was what relaxing felt like. If so, she might be able to get used to it eventually.

A part of her immediately rebelled at the thought. She wasn’t going to get used to this. She needed excitement and challenges. This was just a little break, a chance to regroup.

To prove her point, she sat up straight, grabbed the paddle and put herself into the task of rowing back to the cottage. She was not about to turn into some goalless, lazy slacker, not even here. Not even for three weeks.

Her sisters might have taken away her legal pads and her pencils, but the stores in town would have more. Suddenly it seemed vital that she get new supplies and put her nose to the grindstone. Pleasant as it was, she was wasting time out here.

Her enthusiasm waned almost as quickly as it had peaked when she realized that she had no real work to do. She was supposed to be thinking, contemplating her future, but the idea held no appeal at all. She could make lists and prioritize all she wanted to, but something told her she would only be floundering right now. Her brain really did need a break.

Well, hell, she thought, letting the paddle fall idle as tears stung her eyes. She brushed at them impatiently and took up the paddle again. Dammit, she was not going to wallow in self-pity. If she couldn’t excel at law right now, then she could excel at kayaking, she decided with grim determination. Maybe the world had enough lawyers anyway…at least for a few more weeks.

His situation with Stephanie resolved, Josh had finally let his thoughts turn to Ashley. It had taken him a ridiculously long time the night before to get it straight that all three women in the room were D’Angelos and that they were the granddaughters of Mrs. Lindsey, the woman who’d been a good friend of his own grandmother.

As a kid, he’d envied the boisterous activity that went on just up the road at Rose Cottage. He’d been a bit of a nerd, far too studious for his own good, and way too much of an introvert to ask to be included in the impromptu gatherings that seemed to be going on all the time whenever the four granddaughters were in town. Besides, those four beautiful girls had drawn admirers from at least two counties. Josh hadn’t stood a chance.

He’d matured a lot in the years since then, in both attitude and physique. He’d found a sport he loved— tennis—and a gym he hated but used regularly. A brilliant student, he’d gained confidence in law school, then added to it when he’d been selected for Richmond’s most prestigious law firm. Beautiful women no longer intimidated him. Nor did money and power.

Knowing that he could have it all—lovely, well-connected Stephanie Lockport Williams, the money and the power—had somehow been enough. Discovering that he didn’t want any of it had been the shocker.

That’s why he was here, in fact, to wrestle with himself over how incredibly stupid it might be to throw it all away. He was having far fewer second thoughts today, now that the breakup with Stephanie had gone so smoothly and left him feeling so thoroughly relieved. It had made him wonder if the timing wasn’t precisely right for a lot of dramatic changes in his life.

He was up at dawn, anxious to get out on the water, where he could while away the morning fishing…or pretending to. He rushed through breakfast, put away the few clothes he’d brought along, then made a quick call to his folks to let them know he was settled in.

Eventually, armed with bottled water, a sandwich, a fishing pole and bait, he headed for the bay where it lapped against the shoreline at the back of his family’s property. He climbed into the seaworthy old boat at the end of the dock and pushed off. Paddling just far enough away from shore to sustain the pretense that he was at sea, he dropped anchor, cast his line, then leaned back, his old fishing hat pulled low over his eyes.

He was just settling down, content with the warmth of the fall sun against his bare skin, when something crashed into the boat, tilting it precariously and very nearly sending him over the side. The splashing of icy water all over his heated skin was as much a shock as the collision.

Oddly enough, he wasn’t all that surprised when he peered over the bow to see Ashley with her face buried in her hands, the paddle floating about three feet away from her kayak.

He couldn’t help chuckling at her crestfallen expression. “You know, if you wanted to see me again, all you had to do was call. If you keep ramming into me like this, I’m not going to have any modes of transportation left.”

“Obviously I am completely out of control on land or sea,” she said in a tone that bore an unexpected edge of hysteria.

Josh stared at her. “Are you okay?”

“Sure. Fine,” she said at once, putting on a brave smile to prove it.

She was reasonably convincing, but Josh wasn’t buying it. She might be physically fine, but there was something else going on, something that had to do with this vacation she was taking with such obvious reluctance. Her sisters had alluded to it last night.

“Maybe you should come aboard,” he suggested, not liking the idea of her being on the water alone when she was obviously shaky. On closer inspection, he thought he detected traces of dried tears on her cheeks. Maybe if he focused on her turmoil, he could put off his own decisions.

“I have my kayak,” she protested.

“We can tie it up to the boat.” He gestured toward the paddle that was drifting rapidly away. “You won’t get far without that paddle, anyway.”

“Story of my life lately,” she muttered, but she held out her hand to take his, then managed to gingerly climb into the rowboat. “You’re very brave, you know.”

“For taking you in like this?”

“Exactly. I’m obviously a danger to myself and everyone around me.”

“Something tells me that’s a relatively new condition,” he said, keeping his gaze away from her, hoping she would feel free to tell him what was going on that had her behaving with what he suspected was uncharacteristic carelessness.

“I suppose,” she conceded.

To his disappointment, she stopped right there. He decided not to press. Instead he asked, “Know how to bait a hook?”

She regarded him skeptically. “With what?”

“Shrimp.”

She nodded. “That’s okay, then. If you’d said worms, I’d have jumped overboard and swum home.”

“Squeamish, huh?”

“No, absolutely not,” she said at once, rising to the challenge with predictable indignation.

“Some sort of animal-rights stance?” he taunted.

A faint flicker of amusement lit her eyes for the first time since they’d met.

“Hardly,” she said. “They’re just… I guess messy de scribes it.”

“Then I can assume you won’t be cleaning any fish we catch for supper?”

“I don’t expect to catch any,” she said, even as she gingerly dangled the baited hook over the side of the boat, then studied the line with total concentration. After a minute, she glanced at him and asked, “Do you do this every day?”

“Every day I can. I get some of my best thinking done out here on the bay.”

“You’re not bored?” she asked wistfully.

Josh bit back a grin. Maybe that was the trouble with Ms. Ashley D’Angelo. She didn’t know the first thing about relaxing. Even now on this beautiful fall day surrounded by some of the most glorious scenery on earth, she was obviously edgy and uptight.

He studied her intently for a minute, trying not to let his gaze linger on those endless bare legs. He certainly couldn’t spot any other flaws. Maybe he could help her work on the relaxation thing.

“I’m never bored,” he told her. “I like my own company.”

“No significant other?”

“I’ve been seeing a woman,” he admitted. “But I’ve just recently reached the conclusion that she’s not significant. She’s a great woman, just not right for me. We broke it off last night.”

“Last night?” she asked, obviously startled.

“I called her after I got home from dinner at your sister’s.”

She seemed to be wrestling with that information. He waited to see if she’d ask if there was a connection, but she didn’t.

After studying him with undisguised curiosity, she eventually asked, “How did you conclude that the relationship was over?”

“I was faced with fishing or cutting bait, so to speak. It was time to get married…or not. I couldn’t see myself with her forever. Fortunately, as it turned out, she couldn’t see that, either.”

“Is there something wrong with her?”

“Absolutely not. She’s beautiful, intelligent, well-connected. She’ll be a dream wife for the right man.”

“But not you?”

“Not me,” he confirmed.

“If beautiful, intelligent and well-connected aren’t right for you, then what kind of woman do you want?”

“I’m still figuring that out,” he admitted. “Offhand, though, I’d have to say one who’s comfortable in her own skin, someone who knows who she is and what she wants.”

“And this woman isn’t like that?”

“She is.” He shrugged. “But the sparks weren’t there. Who knows why that happens? Seems to me that love is just as mysterious as all the philosophers have claimed it is.”

She seemed to deflate a little at that. If they hadn’t just met, Josh would have said she was actually disappointed.

“That whole bit about being comfortable with who and what you are would definitely let me out,” she said a little too brightly.

“Going through an identity crisis?” Josh asked, relieved to finally have something specific to work with to try to figure her out.

“Yes, that’s exactly it.”

“Welcome to the club.”

“You, too?”

Josh nodded. “But I’m not going to worry about it today. Neither should you. Relax and maybe the answers will come to you when your mind’s clear of all the clutter.”

“Relax?” she said again, as if it were a foreign concept.

Josh chuckled. “Like this,” he explained patiently. “Lean back.”

He waited until she’d followed his directions. “Okay, then. Now pull the brim of your hat down low to shade your eyes.”

She did that, her expression totally serious.

“Now close your eyes and concentrate on the water lapping against the side of the boat,” he suggested soothingly. “Feel the sun on your skin.”

She sighed. “It feels wonderful.”

“There you go. It’s all about getting in touch with yourself and letting everything else kind of drift away.”

She followed his advice as dutifully as if her life depended on it. He might have been amused, if there had been time. Unfortunately, a fish picked that precise moment to snag Ashley’s line, and the next thing he knew he had his arms around her waist and was hanging on for dear life as she tried to reel in the rockfish that was just as determined to get away.

He was all too aware of the soft, sun-kissed scent of her skin, of the way her muscles flexed as she worked the line, of the softness of her breasts against his forearm. She was strong and fiercely determined not to be beaten by a fish. In fact, he had to bite his lip to keep from chuckling at the string of curses she muttered when she seemed to be losing the battle.

Only when the rockfish was finally flopping around in a bucket of salt water onboard, did Josh finally dare to meet her gaze. “Competitive, aren’t you?”

“You have no idea,” she murmured.

Josh nodded slowly. The revelations were coming bit by bit, each one adding to the enigma that was Ashley D’Angelo. Things were definitely going to get very interesting before he had a complete picture of this woman who was so triumphant about landing a fish.

And if the jangling of his pulse right now was any indication, this vacation of his might not turn out to be half as relaxing as he’d imagined.