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Chapter 2

Hannah had a splitting headache by the time she finally made her way downstairs to the kitchen in the morning. She’d replayed the conversation with Kelsey in her head over and over for the rest of the night, but not even her best editing skills could change the fact that her daughter was going to have a baby.

Grandma Jenny looked up as she entered the kitchen. “I thought you were going to sleep the day away,” she commented, then took a closer look. “You don’t look so good. Are you sick?”

Sick at heart, Hannah thought, but she kept it to herself. There’d be time enough to tell her grandmother what was going on after Kelsey arrived in the next day or two, as soon as she could get a flight from California. Hannah had made her promise not to make any big decisions or do anything drastic until they had more time to talk things through.

“I didn’t sleep much,” she told her grandmother. “A cup of coffee should perk me up, though.”

“Good. Then we can get started with that list. I’ve got some help lined up, so we need to get ourselves organized.”

The pounding in Hannah’s head took on a more urgent beat. “As soon as I’ve returned a few calls from my boss,” she promised, searching in a cupboard until she found a bottle of aspirin. She popped two of them. “He left a bunch of messages for me yesterday and I didn’t get them until it was too late to call back last night.”

A frown settled on Grandma Jenny’s face. “Why’s he bothering you? I thought you were quitting that job.”

“No, Gran, I didn’t quit,” Hannah explained patiently. “I’m just on vacation for a couple of weeks.”

“Well, you should give it up for good. This is where you belong. You’d be your own boss here.”

No, Hannah thought, she’d be answering to her grandmother, and as annoying as Dave Harrow could be from time to time, he was easier to deal with than Gran.

“Let’s not go there right now, okay?” Hannah pleaded. “I’m here for a couple of weeks and that’s it.”

Her grandmother waved off the explanation as if it were of no consequence. “But you’re still down here on your own time, am I right? Your boss shouldn’t be taking advantage of you like this. Anyone who works as hard as you do deserves to have a vacation that’s really a vacation. A boss who appreciates you would know that.”

“He’s not really taking advantage of me, Gran. I left without much notice. There are a lot of loose ends that need to be tied up. Look, the call shouldn’t take long. You start on that list of renovations and we’ll go over it when I come back inside. I can get better cell phone reception on the porch.”

“Well, you’d best hurry. Some of the things we’re going to need aren’t available on the island. We’ll need to catch the eleven o’clock ferry if we expect to go to the mainland today.”

Hannah grimaced. That was yet another reason not to live in Seaview. It was too inconvenient. If they missed the eleven o’clock ferry, there wouldn’t be another one until four-thirty, too late to head over to the mainland to shop. In all there were only four ferries daily, these two, plus one that left at 6:00 a.m., mostly for people who worked on the mainland, and a final one at eight, which catered mostly to those who’d taken a day trip to Seaview Key, stayed for dinner and then wanted to head back.

“I’ll hurry,” she promised.

She took her cell phone and coffee out to the porch, choosing a comfortable wicker chair at the far end where the sun had created a pool of warmth on the chilly morning. She took a long sip of coffee, then turned her face up to the sun, wishing she didn’t have to make the call. It wasn’t going to go well. Dave hadn’t been happy about her asking for this unplanned vacation, especially after all the months when her schedule had been totally unpredictable because of her chemo treatments.

Reluctantly, she dialed the direct line to his office. “Hey, Melinda, it’s Hannah. Dave was trying to reach me yesterday, but I was traveling and had my phone off. Is he available now?”

“Yes,” his secretary said, then lowered her voice. “But I should tell you he’s on the warpath. Even though you briefed Carl before you left about the deadlines for the Parker account, he blew the very first one and Dave caught the fallout. Ron Parker was furious.”

Hannah muttered a few choice words. Carl Mason was useless, but Dave kept giving him second chances. He’d insisted that Hannah turn her accounts over to him while she was away. It was his fault that things had gone wrong, but she was going to have to bail them all out.

“Look, don’t put me through now. I’m going to call Ron and see if I can smooth things over. Then I’ll call back to speak to Dave.”

“Sure, hon,” Melinda said, but before they could sever the connection Hannah heard Dave in the background.

“Is that Hannah? Put her through right this minute,” he commanded.

“Sorry,” Melinda murmured.

“Not your fault.” She waited for Dave to pick up, then tried to do a preemptive strike. “Melinda filled me in on the problems with the Parker account. I was about to call Ron myself.”

“There wouldn’t be a problem with that account if you’d been handling it yourself,” he grumbled.

Hannah barely resisted the urge to correct him and say there wouldn’t have been a problem if Dave had assigned someone competent to fill in for her. She’d have been wasting her breath.

“Ron’s not going to be pacified with a phone call,” he told her. “You need to get back up here and do your job.”

“You know I can’t do that. There’s a family crisis and I need to handle it.”

“You’ve had a lot of crises lately,” Dave said. “Maybe this job isn’t as important to you as it once was.”

Hannah gasped at his insensitivity. “Do you honestly think I chose to have breast cancer just so I could inconvenience you? Do you think I wanted my mom to die or my grandmother to have difficulty coping with that, so I could take more time off?”

He backed down at once. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have phrased it that way. I know you’ve been through hell, but you’re the best person on this team. When you’re out of the office, it has an impact.”

“Nice save,” she said dryly. “Look, it’s only for a couple of weeks. I gave Carl notes on every single thing that needs to be done, along with the deadlines. Maybe you need to look over his shoulder for the next couple of weeks and make sure he follows through. If that doesn’t work, then I’m not the one to blame.”

Dave sighed. “I know he’s not pulling his weight around here. That’s why I assigned him to work with you. I thought maybe your organizational skills would rub off on him.”

“You always were a dreamer,” she said lightly. It was one of the reasons they’d always worked well together. She’d been his first hire after he and Lou Morgan had opened the firm fifteen years ago. He was a genius when it came to thinking up unique PR campaigns for their clients, but Hannah was the one who kept the projects on schedule, pacified nervous actors and authors and contributed her own share of creative ideas. He also counted on her not to mince words, so she didn’t now. “Dave, you’ve given Carl more than enough chances. Maybe it’s time to think about cutting your losses and letting him go. Get someone in that position who can cut it.”

“You’re probably right,” he admitted with obvious reluctance. “If I hadn’t promised my wife that I’d give the guy a break, I’d have fired him months ago. He’s her nephew and she adores him. Do you know the kind of grief I’m going to get if I let him go?”

“Compare that to the grief you’re already taking from clients like Ron Parker,” she said. “Look, I’ll call Ron now and fix this mess, but there can’t be a next time, Dave. You know that.”

“Yeah, I know it. Hurry back, okay?”

“Two weeks,” she reminded him. “You’ll hardly notice I’m gone.”

“That’s a joke. You weren’t out the door two minutes when we had our first crisis.”

“Careful,” she warned. “I’ll start to think I’m indispensable and you’ll have to give me a raise.”

She hung up slowly, then spent several minutes tamping down her annoyance over Carl’s screwup before calling Ron Parker and apologizing profusely. Fortunately, he was a reasonable guy, and the promise of a few perks on his next PR campaign calmed him down.

“I’m sorry Dave bothered you on your vacation,” he told her. “I was still angry when I spoke to him, so I was blowing off steam. I was never going to take my business elsewhere. You’re the best, Hannah. So is Dave.”

“And we love working with you. We’ll get together for lunch as soon as I’m back in town. You pick the place and it’s on me.”

“It ought to be on that idiot Carl Mason,” he said. “Enjoy your vacation and don’t worry about any of this, okay?”

“Thanks for understanding.”

When she finally got off the phone, she felt drained. Her head was still pounding, though the caffeine and aspirin were starting to kick in. One more cup of coffee and she might be able to cope with Grandma Jenny and whatever she had in store to destroy her peace of mind today.

* * *

“I don’t understand why you’re going to Florida,” Jeff told Kelsey as she packed her suitcase. “This is no time to go running off when we have so many things that need to be settled.”

“Things are settled, Jeff. No matter what you say, I am not going to marry you, and that’s final.”

“But we’re having a baby!” he said, as if she needed reminding.

“I’m the one having it,” she retorted. “Not you. I’m the one whose entire life has to go on hold because we were stupid one night and had sex without a condom.”

Jeff paled. “And that’s my fault. I accept that. It was stupid, but no matter how many times I say I’m sorry, it won’t change anything. Now we have to deal with where we are. I love you. I want to marry you. I want us to be a family. I wanted that before you got pregnant and I want it now.”

“And I’ve told you that I’m not ready to get married,” she said.

They’d been arguing like this for two solid weeks now, ever since she’d seen a doctor and told Jeff about the baby. Sometimes she wished she’d kept the news to herself, but she’d known how unfair that would be. What she hadn’t realized was how pressured she’d feel now that Jeff wanted to do what he saw as the right thing.

For him, the baby was only a tiny blip on a road he’d apparently mapped out when they’d first started dating last year. For her it changed everything. It took away her options and backed her into a corner. It wasn’t that she didn’t love him or that she didn’t envision them having a future together...eventually. It was about being forced into making a premature decision, one far too important to be made in haste.

She was a child of divorce, and while her mother had done everything in her power to see that Kelsey never wanted for anything, Kelsey had never stopped wishing that she’d come from a two-parent home. She and her dad barely had any relationship at all beyond an occasional check at Christmas or for her birthday and even rarer phone calls. In the beginning she’d seen him at least occasionally, but then he’d remarried, had more kids and the kind of family life she’d always wanted.

Now, here she was, willing to deny her own child what she’d missed most during her own childhood. She understood the irony in that, but so far she hadn’t been able to talk herself into backing down. She was convinced that if she rushed into marriage with Jeff because of the baby, they’d never have a real chance to make it work. She doubted she’d be able to hide her resentment, and that would poison their relationship.

Sighing, she sat down on the edge of the bed and pulled Jeff down beside her. Sitting thigh to thigh, even under these circumstances, she could feel the chemistry between them, chemistry that had been there from the time they’d first met. He wasn’t like the preppy guys she’d always dated. He was offbeat, a little bit of a nerd. His dark brown hair was almost always in need of a cut, not out of rebellion, but simply because he forgot about it.

It was his eyes, though, that had drawn her in. They were like melted chocolate, and when they were focused on her, their intensity made her pulse scramble.

His wardrobe, while not totally atypical of that of all the kids around them, was a horror—faded jeans, T-shirts and ancient sneakers. It offended Kelsey’s fashion sense, developed by associating with some of her mom’s designer clients, but she’d seen beyond the clothes to the really good person he was. Only after they’d been dating for months had she learned that he was from a wealthy San Francisco family and that he was somewhat of a computer genius, who’d already amassed a small fortune himself with software he’d designed.

Sitting beside him now, she stared straight ahead, afraid that if she looked into his eyes, she’d give in and agree to marry him. It was the simplest solution to her predicament, but one she was determined to resist.

“You know that I’m not saying no because I don’t love you, right?” she asked softly.

“You’re saying no because you’re stubborn,” he countered. “We’ve been talking about marriage for months now. All this changes is the timetable.”

“Exactly. We had that timetable for a reason. I wanted to graduate, to get established in a career before we took the next step in our relationship. I wanted to figure out who I am.”

“I already know who you are, but I suppose that doesn’t count,” Jeff countered. “But you can still do all that. We’ll hire a nanny. Or I’ll take care of the baby while you’re in school.”

“You have classes, too,” she reminded him.

He regarded her with an impatient expression. “Come on, Kelsey, we’ve been over this. I get what you’re saying and why you’re scared, but nothing has to change. If we didn’t have a cent to our names, maybe there would be sacrifices, but trust me, we can afford a place to live and all the help we need. You’ll have all the time and space you want to decide who you are and figure out what you want. In fact, it’ll be easier because you won’t be forced to take some nothing job just to pay bills. You can take your time after graduation and find the perfect job.”

She heard the sincerity in his voice and she wanted desperately to believe things would be that simple, but she just couldn’t. First thing she knew, she’d be Mrs. Jeff Hampton, a wife and a mother. She was scared to death that Kelsey Matthews-Ryan would get lost.

She also knew her fears were compounded because for years she’d been so certain about what she wanted—a career in graphic design. But now that she’d been studying for the degree that would get her that career, now that she’d proved she could handle it, the path she’d chosen had lost some of its luster. She feared the same thing could happen if she rushed into marriage. Maybe it was morning sickness, maybe it was hormones, but her world had tilted on its axis and left her reeling. She simply couldn’t cope with a decision as huge as getting married right now.

“I can’t, Jeff. I can’t do it.”

“You’d rather quit school and run home to your mom?” he asked incredulously. “That doesn’t make any sense at all. You’re actually giving up the very thing you claim you want.”

“Temporarily,” she insisted. “I’ll go back to school after the baby’s born. Maybe by then I’ll have figured out if graphic design is what I really want, after all. Why get a degree in something and then decide it’s not what I’m passionate about?”

“Okay, let’s say you do take time off,” he said reasonably. “How will you manage college a year from now or two years from now, especially if you decide you want a degree in something else and have to practically start over?”

Kelsey frowned. “I don’t know exactly, but I’ll make it work.”

“Look at me,” he commanded. “Kelsey, look at me. You’re not still thinking about adoption, are you? Because I won’t go along with it. I want this baby, even if you don’t.”

There was an unyielding note in his voice she’d never heard before. Why, when it came to this, did he have to change from an easygoing, come-what-may kind of guy into one determined to have his own way?

Tears stung Kelsey’s eyes. How had things turned into such a mess? A few weeks ago, her life had been totally on track. She’d aced most of her final exams. She was excited about her new courses, even though she was starting to question her career goals. She was with a guy she adored. And now, because of one careless moment, everything was at risk.

“You should go,” she told Jeff. “We’re not going to settle this tonight and I’m leaving first thing in the morning.”

“But you’re coming back?” he asked. “You’re not going to disappear and do something behind my back, are you?”

“I can’t believe you asked me that,” she said, surprisingly stung. “You know me better than anyone. I promised you I wouldn’t do anything crazy and I meant it. I promised my mom the same thing.”

“Did she buy it?” he asked.

Kelsey sighed. “Not entirely. Look, whatever decision I make, I will come back here and I will tell you. That’s the best I can promise.”

“I suppose I’ll have to live with that,” Jeff said, then met her gaze. “For now.”

“What does that mean?”

“It means that I have a stake in this decision, too. You need time right now, I’ll let you have it. But not too much time, Kelsey, or I’ll follow you and do everything in my power to make you see this my way.”

Kelsey looked deep into his eyes and saw the determination there. She realized that Jeff’s powers of persuasion were what scared her most of all.

* * *

Hannah used the twenty-minute ferry ride to the mainland to finally broach the subject that had brought her to Seaview Key. The waters were calm, the breeze balmy by mid-morning as they made the crossing. She and her grandmother stood by the railing and watched as the mainland grew from a distant speck to an impressive skyline.

“Gran, have you ever thought about living on the mainland?” she began carefully.

“Why would I do that when I have a perfectly good home where I am?”

“You’d be surrounded by more people your own age,” Hannah explained, injecting as much enthusiasm as she could into her voice. “You could get involved in more activities. You’d be closer to doctors and a major hospital. The clinic on Seaview Key isn’t prepared to cope with anything more than a minor emergency.”

“Do you honestly think I would ever move into one of those retirement communities?” she asked derisively. “That’s what you’re talking about, isn’t it? Putting me out to pasture like some horse that’s outlived its usefulness.”

“Not at all,” Hannah said, doing her best to remain upbeat. “I think it would be great to be able to do so many things anytime you wanted to without worrying about the ferry schedule. Plus, you’ve spent your whole life catering to other people’s needs. It’s time for you to think about your needs.”

“I don’t have many needs and I don’t worry much about the ferry schedule,” Grandma Jenny replied tartly. “I have it committed to memory. Besides, now that I don’t drive much, it’s been months since I’ve needed it at all. Anytime I need anything from the mainland, I can find someone to fetch it for me. I’m not like you. I don’t need to be on the go all the time. I’m happy right where I am.” She gave Hannah a hard look. “Intend to stay there, too, so don’t go getting any ideas.”

Hannah dropped the subject for now. She’d check online to locate the best facilities in the area and call for brochures. Maybe on their next trip to the mainland, she could persuade her grandmother to at least look at a couple of them.

“Any idea where you’d like to go for lunch?” she asked, changing the topic to something neutral. “I think we should eat first, then run all the errands.”

“I like that cafeteria well enough.”

Hannah bit back a groan. The last time she’d tried a slice of pie there, the whipped cream on top had the texture of plastic foam. “I suppose you’re going to want the liver and onions,” she teased, resigned to choking down a tasteless meal.

“Of course. I learned a long time ago that I’d be wasting my time fixing that for you. You’d gag every time I set it on the table.”

“Which ought to tell you something,” Hannah said. “But if that’s what you want, that’s where we’ll go.”

Her grandmother gave her a knowing look. “Don’t think buttering me up is going to work, young lady. You can agree to everything I suggest from now till Christmas and I still won’t look at one of those retirement places.”

“Whatever,” Hannah said, then had to bite back a smile the instant the word was out of her mouth. She’d sounded exactly like Kelsey at her most annoying. Apparently the universe was intent on reducing her to a petulant child again, too.

* * *

“What did Gran have you doing today?” Kelsey asked her that evening.

“Picking out paint and looking at fabric for the cushions on the porch,” Hannah told her. “We managed to get the paint at the first place we looked, but we had to go to four different fabric stores before we found anything that satisfied her. I looked at so many flowered prints, I came home dizzy.”

“Have you told her yet that you’re not staying?”

“I have,” she said. “That hasn’t stopped her from trying to change my mind. Now, tell me about you. Were you able to get a reservation?”

“My flight’s tomorrow,” Kelsey confirmed, then gave her the details.

“And your return flight?” Hannah asked.

Kelsey hesitated. “I just bought a one-way ticket in case I decide not to come back right away.”

“Kelsey!”

“It’s no big deal, Mom. I can always book the return flight as soon as I get there. Who knows? Maybe you’ll decide that you and Grandma Jenny can use an extra pair of hands.”

Hannah saw no point in arguing. “I’ll pick you up tomorrow, then. Have a safe flight, sweetie.”

“I will. Mom?”

“Yes?”

“Is it hard being there, you know, without your mom?”

Hannah wasn’t sure how to answer. If she stopped for a second and let herself think, she’d say it was incredibly difficult, which was one reason she’d let her grandmother persuade her to do all these renovations. It left little time for thinking, especially about her mother’s losing battle with cancer. And she had yet to walk into the suite of rooms that had been her mom’s. She’d spent too many hours in there right before she died.

“I don’t think I’ve let myself focus on that at all,” she admitted.

“How can you not think about it?” Kelsey asked. “She was so much a part of Seaview Inn. You must see her everywhere you look, like those old sand pails she collected. They looked like rusty junk to me, but she’d get all misty-eyed when she told me about how they reminded her of when she was a girl.”

Hannah choked back an unexpected sob. She could recall her mother’s excitement every time she came across one of the tin litho sand pails with their colorful images in one of the antique shops she haunted. Her eyes would light up as if she’d just recaptured a hundred old memories, all good ones. Hannah had deliberately avoided looking at the shelves that held the prized collection. Only now did she see how much of the past two days she’d spent in denial.

“She loved them, all right,” she said, when she could speak again.

“Oh, Mom, are you crying? I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to make you sad.”

“I think I’ve just been pretending since I got here that everything was normal, that she was just away on a trip or something. I haven’t wanted to deal with the reality that she’s gone forever.”

“Maybe having me there will be a good thing, then, huh?” Kelsey said. “I can distract you.”

“Given the reason you’re coming, I’d say that’s a sure thing,” Hannah said wryly. “See you tomorrow afternoon.”

“Bye, Mom. Love you.”

“I love you, too,” she said slowly, and disconnected, only to have the phone immediately ring again. She was tempted not to answer it, but given the work crisis she’d missed yesterday, she didn’t want to risk another lecture from Dave about her inopportune absence. Glancing at the caller ID, though, she saw that it wasn’t Dave at all, but Sue Nelson, who’d been her best friend since Hannah had arrived in New York nearly twenty years ago.

“I want to know why I had to find out from your secretary that you’ve skipped town again,” Sue demanded when Hannah answered.

“Sorry. The trip came together pretty suddenly.”

“Jane said your grandmother was having a hard time coping without your mom. Is that why you went?”

“Pretty much. I’m hoping to convince her to sell the inn and move to a retirement community.”

Sue chuckled. She’d met Grandma Jenny and could imagine her reaction. “And how’s that going?” she asked.

Hannah laughed with her. “About like you’d expect. I didn’t even get the words out of my mouth before she was warning me off in no uncertain terms.”

“Then why aren’t you heading home? I’d think being there right now would be really hard. Besides, don’t you have a three-month cancer screening coming up?”

“I postponed it.”

“Hannah!” Sue protested. “You can’t do things like that. This is too important.”

“Don’t overreact. I only postponed it a couple of weeks. I’ll go in the day after I get back to New York.”

“Can I get that in writing? I know you’re dreading it.”

“Well, of course, I’m dreading it, but I’m not stupid. I know I can’t put it off indefinitely.”

“What’s the new date?”

“Why? Do you think I’m lying?”

“I wouldn’t put it past you, but that’s not why I’m asking. I want to put it on my calendar, so I can go with you. I told you when you first got diagnosed that you’re not going through any of this alone.”

Hannah’s eyes stung for the second time that night. “You’ve been wonderful and I will never be able to thank you enough,” she said. “But you’ve spent enough of your time babysitting me through surgery and chemo. I can go to one appointment on my own.”

“But why should you have to?” Sue asked. “Especially when we can go out afterward and splurge on an outrageously expensive dinner to celebrate that you’re just fine.”

“Hush. Don’t say things like that. It’s just asking for something to go wrong.”

“I thought you weren’t superstitious,” Sue teased.

Hannah thought about how recent events had conspired to make her question that. “I’m reexamining my beliefs on that subject.”

“Oh?”

“Long story, and you and John must be about to have dinner.”

“He won’t mind waiting for a few minutes,” Sue said. “Tell me why you’re suddenly leery of black cats and walking under ladders.”

“It’s not about cats and ladders,” Hannah told her. “But trust me, bad things do come in threes.” She paused, then announced, “Kelsey’s pregnant.”

“Oh, my God, you’re kidding!”

“Not something I’d kid about,” Hannah said.

“No, I don’t suppose you would. When did she tell you?”

“Last night.”

“How did you react?”

“You know me. I’m a control freak. I ordered her to come down here before making any decisions. I need to see her. I want to see for myself that she’s okay.”

“And she’s coming?”

“Tomorrow,” Hannah confirmed.

“Okay, now tell me how you’re really feeling.”

“I’m mostly numb, to be perfectly honest,” Hannah replied. “I never expected this.”

“I doubt mothers ever do, unless their daughters are wild ones, which Kelsey definitely is not,” Sue said. “Is Kelsey okay or is she totally freaking out?”

“She sounded calm, but I know she’s falling apart. She’s definitely not thinking clearly. Right now her solution is to quit college and move back to New York with me.”

“Oh, boy! I’m amazed I didn’t hear your reaction to that all the way up here.”

“So am I,” Hannah said.

“Anything I can do?”

“Just knowing you’re there when I need to talk is enough,” Hannah told her.

“I could fly down there and mediate, if it would help,” she offered.

“I’d have to give you combat pay,” Hannah joked. “No, I’ll muddle through this. Just start shaking the martinis the second I get back to New York.”

“You’ve got it, and the minute you decide you need anything more, all you have to do is call.”

“Thanks, Sue. I don’t know what I’d do without you.”

“Thick and thin, that was our deal all those years ago,” Sue reminded her, then added dryly, “Too bad some of my marriage vows didn’t last the way our friendship has.”

“Only because you had extraordinarily bad taste in men before you met John. He’s a keeper.”

“Yeah, I think so, too, which means I’d better get in there and feed him. We miss you, sweetie. Hurry home.”

“Thanks for calling.”

Hannah disconnected the call with a smile on her face. She had other friends in New York, including Dave and his wife, and plenty of acquaintances, but Sue Dyer Martinelli Nelson was the best. If Hannah had said she needed her in Florida, Sue would have been here by morning, no questions asked. Knowing that was almost as comforting as it would have been to be sitting on the porch with her right now, a shaker of martinis between them.

Seaview Inn

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