Читать книгу Out of Time - Shirlee McCoy - Страница 12

The alarm went off at four-thirty, and Susannah fumbled to turn it off. She needed to drag herself out of bed, get showered and dressed and ready for work, but all she really wanted to do was stay exactly where she was, locked in her bedroom, locked in her house, safe from the world.

She frowned, forcing herself up and out of the bedroom. There were days when she thought it would be too easy to give in and watch from the window as the world passed by. Plenty of days, but she knew what a slippery slope that would be. One day at home. Then another. Before she knew it, she’d never leave.

She showered quickly, trying not to look too closely at the scar that bisected her abdomen. It had faded to pale lavender, but it was still a stark reminder of how close she’d come to dying. There were other scars. A small one on her rib cage. A deep one on her palm. A dark purple crescent below the hollow of her throat.

She buttoned her uniform to the neck, hiding the darkest scar. She wasn’t ashamed of it, but she’d been asked about it too many times, and she was tired of the shock and pity she saw in people’s eyes when she answered. It would be even worse to see that shock and pity in Levi’s eyes.

Not that he didn’t already know what she’d been through.

She’d seen recognition in his eyes when she’d told him about Aaron’s death. No doubt, he’d remembered the news story and knew why Aaron had been running from the police.

He hadn’t asked for details.

At least there was that.

She pulled her hair into a ponytail, leaning close to the mirror and touching the dark shadows beneath her eyes. She looked as tired as she felt, her freckles contrasting too sharply with her pale skin. She brushed on some blush, dabbed gloss on dry lips and shoved her Stetson over her hair. Enough staring in the mirror. She had a meeting to attend, breakfast to get through, another day to navigate.

And Levi back in her life after fourteen years.

She wasn’t sure how she felt about that.

She stepped outside, inhaling cold, clean air, trying to clear her mind, ready herself for the day. God had a plan. She knew it, had clung to that knowledge even during the most difficult times after the attack.

He had a plan.

He’d see it through.

That was good enough. It had to be.

She’d always loved early morning, loved the silence before dawn. What she didn’t like was the darkness that hovered at the edges of her well-lit porch, the shadows that swayed and swooped across the yard.

All she had to do was step off the porch, walk a few feet to her car and drive to the Alamo. Such an easy thing. Something that millions of people did every morning. Something that Susannah had once done without thought. Those days were gone, though, and she listened to the quiet, searching the darkness for signs that someone was waiting to pounce.

She hurried to the Mustang, opening the door and sliding in, her heart beating too fast, adrenaline coursing through her. Her hand shook as she shoved the key in the ignition and started the engine.

Car headlights appeared on the street behind her, and she waited impatiently for the vehicle to pass. The sooner she got on the road and started her day, the better she’d feel. Keeping her mind busy and her thoughts focused was the only way to keep the fear at bay.

But the car didn’t pass. It pulled into the driveway, blocking her from leaving. Cold with dread, she grabbed the cell phone from her purse as she stared into the rearview mirror.

Would someone get out of the car, or would it pull back out onto the street?

Should she wait to see or call for help?

She waited, her heart jumping as the door opened and a familiar figure got out.

Levi!

Surprised, relieved, she got out of the Mustang, walked to meet him.

“What are you doing here?”

“Looking for you.”

“Well, you found me. Which is strange since I didn’t give you my address.”

“You gave me your business card. I typed your phone number into a search engine and got your address. I called and left a message on your answering machine about twenty minutes ago. Since I didn’t hear from you, I thought I’d swing by and see if you wanted to ride into work together.”

“Sorry. I didn’t get your message.”

“It’s probably for the best.”

“Why’s that?”

“You would have told me you could drive yourself to the Alamo.”

“Probably.”

“But now that I’m here, you can’t refuse the ride.”

“Can’t I?”

“Not if you don’t want to miss out on the coffee I brought for you.”

“Coffee?”

“Yes.”

“With cream and sugar?”

“If you want.”

“Then, I guess you’re right. I can’t refuse.”

He chuckled and opened the door of a dark sedan, gesturing for her to slide inside. Warm leather, soft classical music, the scent of Levi’s aftershave hanging in the air—they enveloped Susannah, filled her with a longing she hadn’t expected. It was a heady reminder of what she’d once been.

“Did you sleep well, Suzy-Q?” He handed her a take-out coffee, his profile hard and handsome, his gaze focused straight ahead as he drove toward the Alamo. Dark hair peeked out from his broad-rimmed cowboy hat, and she knew it was silky and smooth, had touched it more than once when she was a kid.

“Suzy-Q?” The nickname made her smile.

“You used to hate it when I called you that.” He returned the smile, the dimple peeking out of his cheek.

“I think I still do.”

He laughed, the sound pouring out into the car, filling the empty spot in Susannah’s heart that he’d left years ago.

And now he was back in her life, easing his way back into her heart.

But she wasn’t the girl who’d cried for a week when he went to college. She wasn’t the child who’d idolized him. She was an adult with too many problems and not enough solutions.

“You didn’t answer my question.” His words seeped into her thoughts, and she took a sip of coffee, trying to wash down the lump in her throat.

“About how I slept? About as good as could be expected. I kept thinking about that unlocked gate.”

“You and me both. I’m anxious to hear what Chad discovered after we left.”

“If he discovered anything. Maybe you were right. Maybe I did just leave the gate open.”

“I don’t think I ever said that’s what happened.”

“I’m sure you were thinking it.”

“For about two seconds, but I know you. I know you’re thorough in everything you do.”

“You knew me.”

“That, too.”

“Levi…”

“What?”

“We need to keep this professional.”

“Isn’t that what we’re doing?” He pulled into a parking lot a few blocks from the Alamo and rounded the car as Susannah got out.

“It should be.”

“But?”

“But…” The coffee. The ride. The way she felt when she looked into his eyes. It felt personal. Too personal.

“We’re old friends, reconnecting after years apart. That doesn’t mean we can’t be professionals doing our jobs, too.” He smiled, and Susannah wished she were as comfortable as he seemed.

“There’s a lot at stake, and we can’t afford to be distracted.”

“I think you know that neither of us could be distracted enough to let our work slide. What are you really afraid of, Susannah?”

“Who said I’m afraid?”

“You may not have said the words, but I see it in your eyes every time I look at you.”

The words were a splash of ice water in the face—the knowledge that he could read her so easily, emphasizing how personal things with him could become.

“I just want to make sure we understand each other.”

“That would be a lot easier if you’d tell me what you’re really thinking.”

“I’m thinking that I don’t need any more complications in my life. I’m thinking that is exactly what you are.”

“A complication? I think I’m flattered.”

“Don’t be. The past year had been tough. All I want is to get my life back to what it used to be.”

“That may not be possible.”

“Why do you stay that?” She glanced his way, saw that he was staring straight ahead.

“Certain things in our lives happen, and they change us forever.”

It was true.

She knew it.

But that didn’t mean she wanted to admit it. Not to him. Maybe even not to herself.

“Like I said, I want to keep things professional between us.”

“You’re changing the subject.”

“Maybe I am.” She took out her key, hurrying the last few steps to the Alamo.

To his credit, Levi didn’t press for more. Just followed her into the chapel, his silence weighted and heavy.

“We’d better get to work. The rest of the Alamo Rangers will be here soon, and I’d like to finish before they arrive.” She spoke into the tension, hoping to ease it as she walked into the office and opened a file cabinet.

She could feel the weight of Levi’s stare as she spread a map out on the desk, but she didn’t turn to meet his gaze.

He’d been right when he’d said she was afraid. Of him. Of what she felt when she was with him.

Because she really didn’t need complications in her life, and she really didn’t want them.

But Levi—he was different.

An old friend.

And when she was with him, she felt safe.

She scowled, jabbing at the map. “Each of the Alamo gates is marked. As I told you last night, we plan to have an Alamo Ranger stationed at each one. The garden area is to the west of the chapel. Our guests will walk in at the chapel, follow the path around to the gardens and be seated by paid ushers.”

“They’re vetted?” He moved close, apparently willing to switch gears.

“The ushers? Of course. The Alamo Planning Committee hired them, and we did background checks on all of them.”

“I’d like a list of names.”

“It’s in the folder. All our preparations are documented.” She handed him the folder she’d put together. Professional, together, ready to do the job. That’s the impression she wanted to give, and she relaxed as Levi glanced through the information.

“This looks great. Will there be caterers on-site? Drinks served?”

“No. As I’m sure you know, there’s a luncheon planned at the River Walk Hotel as soon as the ceremony ends. I was told your people were responsible for escorting and protecting our guests once they leave the compound.”

“We have a team set up.”

“Some of the VIPs have their own security, too.” The vice president would come with secret service agents and leave with them. The governor would do the same.

“My office is working closely with theirs to make sure all the security details are in place. Coming, going and everything in between.” He frowned, circling the long barracks with his finger. “You’ve got a lot of places for people and things to hide. We’ll be bringing in dogs to sniff for explosives the morning of, but we’ll want to be even more cautious than usual during the days preceding the event.” He was all business, and Susannah was relieved, glad to immerse herself in plans.

“We can have more security officers on-site during that time.”

“Your boss will approve?”

“He’s given me free rein to make decisions for the team. I’ll run it by him after the meeting, but I’m sure there won’t be a problem.”

“He must have a lot of faith in you.”

“I have more seniority than most of our security crew.”

“How long have you been here?”

“Four years.”

“And the person with least tenure?”

“Six months.” Marcus Portman had been brought in part-time while Susannah recovered from her injuries. His work ethic and willingness to take any shift had helped him move from part-time to full-time within a month of being hired.

“And he’s fully vetted?”

“Of course.”

“Anyone on the team you don’t trust? Anyone with money problems? Gambling troubles? Drug use?”

“I trust all my coworkers, but I can’t say I know them all well. We have yearly reviews and criminal background checks every two years.”

“And you gave me a list of all the Alamo Rangers who will be working March 6, right?” His brow furrowed as he rifled through the folder.

“It’s here.” Susannah pulled out the last sheet, holding it out to Levi, her eyes widening as he snagged her hand instead of the paper. He turned it over, traced the scar with his finger.

“That was quite a cut.”

“It was.” She tugged her hand away, resisting the urge to hide it behind her back.

“A defensive wound?” he asked, but he didn’t need to. Susannah was sure he’d seen dozens of wounds just like it.

“Yes.”

“Are you going to make me keep asking questions until I come up with one you’re willing to answer, or are you going to go ahead and tell me what I want to know?”

“What do you want to know, Levi? How many times I was stabbed? How many times Aaron choked me into unconsciousness? How I managed to survive after he sliced open my stomach?” The words spilled out, her frustration spilling out with it. Not frustration with Levi. Frustration with herself, with her scars, with the sick feeling of dread that came every time she talked about that night.

“It’s a good thing he’s dead, because if he wasn’t, I’d kill him.” The rage in Levi’s voice took her by surprise, the heat blazing from his eyes, cooling her temper.

“He was sick. I don’t think he even knew what he was doing.”

“No amount of sickness can excuse this.” Levi grabbed her hand, touched the scar again, his finger so gentle, tears welled up in her eyes.

She blinked them away.

“You’re right, but we’re not here to talk about my scars or about Aaron. How about we keep that in mind?” She tugged away, thrust the paper into his hands and poured another sugar into her coffee.

She had no intention of drinking it.

She felt too sick, her stomach churning, her mind filled with a thousand memories she’d rather forget.

She’d always prided herself on her ability to read people, to know criminals from upstanding citizens. But she hadn’t known with Aaron. Hadn’t even suspected until he started calling her twice a day, driving by her house for no reason at all, making himself too much a part of her life. By that time, it was too late.

She shivered, cupping her hands around the coffee cup.

“I’m sorry. I shouldn’t keep pushing.” Levi took the cup and placed it on the desk, then lifted her scarred hand to his lips, pressing a tender kiss to the ridged flesh.

She shivered again. For different reasons. For reasons she wasn’t even sure she dared acknowledge.

“I guess being curious just goes with your job.” She tried to laugh, but it fell flat.

“That isn’t why I’m asking questions, Susannah.”

“Then why are you?”

“Because I care. Because thinking of you hurt tears me up inside. Because I’d give anything to go back and change what happened to you.”

“You can’t. I can’t. It happened. I’m living with it, and that’s a whole lot better than the alternative. So please, let’s just get back to work.” She pressed her hand to her stomach, taking a step away.

He didn’t respond, just studied her silently, his eyes still blazing with fury and with something else. Something her heart responded to, leaping in acknowledgement and doing the kind of happy dance it hadn’t done in years.

“Susannah? You here?” Chad called out from the chapel, and she did what any self-preserving, scared-of-the-dark, twenty-eight-year-old would do when facing down a man like Levi.

She ran.