Читать книгу Summary: The Book of Joy. Dalai Lama, Desmond Tutu, Douglas Carlton Abrams - Smart Reading, Ольга Ганкова - Страница 3

Watching how His Holiness and the Archbishop communicate during the week, Douglas Abrams was struck by how open and cheerful these great people are, despite their having experienced much suffering in their lives. They were sincerely delighted by every moment of their communication: they could start a heated argument, but would soon after exchange friendly handshakes and make fun of each other. When they talked about sad events of their lives, they were not shy to shed tears, but as soon as their stories were over, sincere smiles immediately appeared on their faces. Their ability to maintain their inner joy and to regularly return to this state had become the central topic of the week’s conversations.

In the modern world, we pay much attention to gaining material wealth and stability, but in return we experience only anxiety and lose contact with other people. Real long-term joy cannot be acquired while one pursues material values, as real joy does not depend on fate or luck and is within each of us at this very moment. According to the Dalai Lama and the Archbishop, such a state of mind is an important condition not only for developing personally but also for building a peaceful society.

In his works, psychologist Paul Ekman lists various feelings associated with joy, from pleasure (sensual joy) and amusement to the awe we feel when we see the kindness and compassion of others.

Buddhist scientists Matthieu Ricard[2] also describes three states of spiritual joy: appreciative joy (an ability to rejoice in someone else’s happiness); delight (an ability to be deeply satisfied) and proselytization (peaceful joy born from a deep state of balance and friendliness).

According to the Dalai Lama, joy is the state we acquire when we’re achieving the most important goal of our life; that is, the elimination of suffering and the attainment of happiness. Despite the fact that joy we achieve will not relieve us of the inevitable difficulties in we will face in life, it will nevertheless make it easier for us to deal with them.

Of the four basic emotions – anger, fear, sadness, and joy – only joy is positive. By studying it, we will be able to understand what really makes us happy and find the answer to the question, "How can the state of joy be developed to such an extent that it becomes permanent?"

First of all, one needs to learn to distinguish between two kinds of happiness. The first type of happiness is derived from sensual pleasures such as food and sex, and is limited in time and can quickly be replaced by negative feelings once the good feelings pass. The second type, mental inner happiness, is deeper. At this level, joy is felt more fully and lastingly.[3]

The neuroscientist Richard Davidson created a unified theory of a happy brain according to which there are four states of the brain that affect the duration of our well-being: the ability to stay positive, which directly influences our ability to experience happiness; the ability to recover from consequences of negative outcomes; the ability to concentrate, which is developed through the practice of meditation; and, the ability to be generous.

Obstacles Preventing Us From Enjoying Life

There are many factors preventing us from feeling joy. They range from everyday stress and anxiety to catastrophes that completely change people’s lives. We all know what physical pain is and how to deal with it, but often we do not know how to deal with mental pain and we do our best to alter our reality. Though we cannot always do this, we are able to control the extent to which external circumstances affect us.

▶Pain and Suffering

Even painful situations can actually bring satisfaction and happiness.

The Archbishop gives an example of a mother right before she gives birth. She knows that she will suffer great pain bt she accepts this. And as soon as the baby is born, she feels incredible joy.

The first noble truth of Buddhism is: "Everything is suffering"[4]. To develop joy, one needs to accept that suffering is inevitable. And often the main cause of our suffering is ourselves who refuse to accept reality and try to control what is not to be controlled. We react to events by evaluating them as good, bad, or neutral.

We spontaneously react to bad events with fear, anger, or irritation. But if one concentrates on the negative side of this experience, it is impossible to develop a state of joy. When we develop spiritually, we learn to accept what happens to us, including negative emotions, which cease to be a source of suffering for us and become just a passing experience.

Our lives are not determined by suffering and disappointments, but by how we deal with them and convert them into experience: only when we shift the focus of perception from ourselves to others and develop empathy and compassion can we create the basis for the joyful state.

In 1978, research conducted by psychologists Philip Brickman, Dan Coates, and Ronnie Janoff-Bulman showed that there is a "set measure" that determines our level of happiness throughout our lives. When we find ourselves in a new situation (for example, after we have won the lottery), we soon grow accustomed to it and return to our original state of mind. At the same time, research by Sonya Lubomirskaya indicates that there are three factors that can make us happier – a positive assessment of any situation, gratitude, and manifestations of kindness and generosity.

▶Fear, Stress and Anger

Fear is the body’s protective biological reaction that we need to survive. But in the modern world this mechanism is not as relevant, and often we experience exaggerated or groundless fear. And the large number of sources of stress is not as much an issue as our reaction to them[5]. Exaggerated expectations and unfulfilled ambitions only make the situation worse for us, as we fail to realize that most of our fears are just mental projections that have no real basis.

While he was explaining why most of our fears are usually groundless, His Holiness told his interlocutors that in the Potala Palace, where he lived as a child, there was a very dark room that was said to be haunted. Every time he passed by this room he constantly felt someone’s presence, when in fact no one was in there. But, it was this experience that helped the Dalai Lama to realize that fears are just projections of the mind that we pay excessive attention to. (Having listened to this story, the Archbishop jokingly said, "No! They really was someone in there!")

We also tend to think that fear and anger are independent emotions. However, the Dalai Lama claims that anger arises due to fear. For example, we want to be loved and feel angry because of our fear of not getting what we want. Anger can be caused either by physical or by mental pain, the latter being a much more frequent cause of anger. The recognition and acceptance of one’s own fears helps one to overcome anger. But at the same time, it is necessary to be ready to admit our vulnerability, which we are often ashamed of, believing that we need to be strong so that we do not feel pain. But the Archbishop emphasizes that guilt and shame only increase our negative emotions.

2

Matthieu Ricard received a PhD in molecular genetics at the Pasteur Institute (Paris, France) but rejected his scientific career to study Tibetan Buddhism.

3

In psychology there is a term "hedonistic adaptation": scientists have found that too many sensory pleasures dull the senses; as a result we start to take pleasure for granted.

4

Usually the word "suffering" is used to translate the term "dukha" from Sanskrit, which can also be translated as stress, anxiety, dissatisfaction, discomfort.

5

In times of danger, the hormones cortisol and adrenaline are released into the bloodstream, which cause the pupils to dilate so that we can see more clearly, and our hearts beat and we breathe more rapidly, speeding up our reaction time and the blood flow to the muscles so that we can defend ourselves or flee.