Читать книгу Summary: The Emotional Compass. How to Think Better about Your Feelings. Ilse Sand - Smart Reading, Ольга Ганкова - Страница 4

You cannot govern your feelings directly. For instance if you receive as a gift something that you clearly don’t like, you cannot make yourself feel excited about it. The only thing you can do is pretend that you’re happy. Similarly, you cannot deny your anger or rage. But you can affect them indirectly by channeling your thoughts. It’s important to remember that anything that’s happening is neutral by nature. We are the ones in charge as we control our perception. The author gives two pieces of advice regarding how to avoid the most widespread thought fallacies:

1. Think Realistically. Positive thinking is a great concept, but moderation is the key. Being excessively naive and believing that everyone wishes you well may lead you into trouble. If you create a positive filter between yourself and your reality, you may arrive at the conclusion that everyone likes you and soon you’ll be severely disappointed. The same is true for the negative thinking patterns. Audit your thoughts and try to determine which of them are truly yours and which belong to other people. Write down anything you can on paper and assess to what extent your thoughts regarding a certain situation are realistic. If in doubt, ask someone from your inner circle or talk to a professional psychologist.

2. Be Careful with Comparisons. The habit of comparing yourself with others is not too constructive. When comparting ourselves to others we tend to see ourselves not in the best light, and compare ourselves not with someone real, but with an adorned version of this person. Pay attention to what you tell yourself when you draw comparisons. Try to substitute "I haven’t attained this level, what is wrong with me?" with "What can I do to get there?" This way you’ll shift your focus of attention to your resources. If it didn’t help, go through everything good you already have in your life. It’ll definitely brighten your mood and you’ll confirm and fortify your values.