Читать книгу The Wolf Within - Sondrae Bennett - Страница 5
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Julie looked up from the account books as the bell above the front door jingled. The formal greeting died on her tongue as Brendan strode into the bookstore. His charming smile never failed to heat her blood. He looked around the room for a moment before settling his gaze on her. The warmth in his stare surrounded her, and she couldn’t help but return his smile.
“Hey beautiful,” he said, strolling over to her counter. “Where are Laurie and Samantha?”
Julie’s smile slipped a tiny bit before she plastered it in place. Of course he wanted to know where Laurie was. He probably came by every day at lunch to spend time with her.
“I’m sorry you just missed them. They went out to lunch at the diner, but you can probably catch up to them. They left a few minutes ago.” Brendan’s gaze narrowed as if he sensed her inner torment.
“Now why would I want to go chasing after those two when I can spend time alone with you?”
Julie felt his hand brush her cheek as he pushed a strand of hair behind her ear. Wanting to savor the sensation, she closed her eyes until reason returned. What was she doing? This was Brendan who was not only way out of her league, but thought of her as a little sister. Besides, even if he were interested, she’d never betray Laurie like that. She had to get her imagination under control.
“So what are you doing out this way? Shouldn’t you be working in your studio?”
Unless he’d moved, Brendan’s metalworking studio was located on the other side of town. Not a huge trek considering how small Alpine Woods was, but the bookstore was far enough to be out of the way.
“I wanted to see you. You’ve been away a long time. I thought we should catch up.” Brendan shrugged. The carefree move drew Julie’s gaze to his shoulders. She could imagine gripping them in her hands, pulling him closer as he leaned in for a kiss.
A blush stole over her cheeks as she pushed the thoughts out of her head. Why couldn’t she get rid of this stupid crush? “It has been a long time.”
“Have dinner with me. Tonight.”
Shocked, her gaze shot to Brendan. Dinner? The invitation sounded like a date, but that couldn’t be right. She must be imagining things again.
* * * *
Brendan cringed. That wasn’t what he meant to say. He’d planned to come in and charm her a bit. Lay down some ground work before asking her out. But when she looked at his chest and blushed, he hadn’t been able to stop the words.
“Of course. I’d love to have a friendly dinner. Maybe we should invite Laurie too.” The emphasis she put on the words “friendly” and “Laurie” made him frown. Had Julie just shot him down? It wasn’t every day a woman he asked on a date invited another woman along.
“Laurie?”
“Yeah, why not? I wouldn’t want to steal you away from her, even for a night,” Julie said, the fake smile he hated back in place. He was getting better at distinguishing between the real one and the fake one. The differences were subtle but obvious if one paid enough attention and knew where to look.
Trying to absorb every detail, Brendan stared at her. Something wasn’t adding up. Why would she invite Laurie with them if the idea displeased her?
“Julie, what do you mean ‘steal me away from Laurie’?”
Julie started to fidget, avoiding eye contact. So he walked behind the counter until he stood in front of her. Cupping her jaw in his hand, he tilted her chin until her gaze rose to meet his.
“What’s going through your head, baby?” Brendan stared into her eyes, hoping he would somehow break through the wall she had erected. Her face fell until not even the fake smile remained. For just a moment, he glimpsed the turmoil within.
“Brendan, stop. What if Laurie walks in?” She tilted her chin out of his grip and stepped back, away from him. His wolf’s hackles rose at her retreat. A growl rumbled from low in his throat, causing Julie’s eyes to widen.
Why did she keep bringing up Laurie? He needed to figure out what was going on, and he needed to figure it out now. Every instinct screamed at him. Something wasn’t right, and his wolf struggled for control. All he wanted to do was shift and hunt down whoever had put the haunted look on her face.
“Why all this talk about Laurie? What does she have to do with anything?”
“She’s my sister, Brendan. You can’t be naïve enough to think fooling around with me wouldn’t hurt her. I wouldn’t do that to anyone, much less my own sister.”
Brendan took a step back. He held up his hands and shook his head.
“I’m sorry. I’ve obviously missed something. What are you talking about?”
“You and Laurie. I don’t know why you two haven’t mated yet, but she’d be hurt if we fooled around.” As Julie’s words sank in, his frustration gave way to the slow burn of anger.
“Laurie told you we were mates?” He couldn’t help the forcefulness of his voice, even seeing her start. The way her eyes widened made him regret his tone. Wanting to assure her, he took a step forward, and watched her take a hasty step back in retreat.
The last thing he wanted was to scare her. Didn’t she know he’d die before he ever hurt her? He needed to get away before he scared her any more. He didn’t trust himself right now. His wolf was too close to the surface, stirred by his strong emotions.
Anger burned in his gut. He needed answers, but he couldn’t force them out of Julie without damaging their relationship. There had to be another way to get the information he needed. Hopefully, Laurie could tell him why the woman he loved, his actual mate, believed he was destined to another. Not just another, her own sister. He’d waited too long for Julie to have this keep them apart.
All those years, waiting for Julie to be ready and holding back from any serious relationship. The whole time, the woman he’d waited for thought he was already taken. And had suffered as a result. The regret and torment in her eyes whenever he got close told him this misconception played some part in her sadness.
Trying not to frighten her more, Brendan retreated, storming out of the bookstore. With each step he took toward the diner, his anger grew as he reflected on the wasted years.
He strode straight to the diner where Julie had mentioned Laurie and Samantha were having lunch. Friendship aside, Laurie would regret it if she’d driven a stake between him and Julie. Considering their long friendship, he was willing to give her the benefit of the doubt, but he wanted answers. Was this the reason Julie always kept him at arm’s length?
Swinging the door open, Brendan stalked inside and sought out the two women. He approached their table and stood with his hands fisted. Both looked up, their smiles dying as they took in his appearance. He could only imagine what he looked like, half-crazed with frustration.
“Laurie. We need to talk. Outside.”
“Brendan, is everything okay?” she asked, staring up at him.
“Now.” He turned around, then back before he’d taken a step away. “Please,” he ground out before prowling outside, not waiting for a response. It took all of his strength not to yell. Laurie had been his best friend for as long as he could remember, but he needed to know what she’d said to Julie. Above all, he needed to calm down. It wouldn’t do any good to let anger rule him.
“Brendan, what in the world is the matter with you? What happened?” Laurie put her hand on his arm. Concern for him bled through every word.
“What did you say to Julie?” he demanded, looking Laurie straight in the eye. Her eyebrows lifted, and she cocked her hip. The change in her from concerned friend to defensive alpha was a clear warning.
“I’ve said a lot of things to my sister. When I was nine, I told her there was a zombie in her closet and a vampire living under her bed that fed off her when she slept. Is there anything in particular you’re wondering about?” She crossed her arms as her eyes narrowed. “And I’m not sure I like your tone.”
Taking a deep breath, he forced a calm facade while his emotions wreaked havoc inside.
“I want to know why she thinks you and I are mates.”
Her arms fell to her sides, and she looked at him with frank disbelief. “What?”
He assessed the change in her demeanor. Either the shock was genuine, or Laurie was worthy of an Academy Award.
“So you weren’t the one who told her?”
“Of course not. I might joke around, Brendan, but not about important things. I know how you feel about her.”
Relief washed over him. At least he didn’t have to worry about Laurie misinterpreting their friendship. Now he had to convince Julie she was the one he wanted. The only one he wanted. He knew he hadn’t helped matters by running out on her mid-sentence.
“Let me talk to her,” Laurie murmured, placing a comforting hand on Brendan’s arm. He looked toward the bookstore Julie and Laurie owned. The “Books and Crannies” sign in front of the store waved in the wind. He ran his hands over his face.
“Yeah, all right. That’s probably best. I’ll stop by later to talk to her. But I need some time to calm down first.” The image of her stumbling away from him played over and over in his mind. Once he regained his equilibrium, they’d talk. Brendan cast one last look at the bookstore before walking off in the opposite direction. He trusted Laurie to set Julie straight and ease the way for him. Julie was too important to lose over a stupid misunderstanding.
* * * *
Julie’s heart jumped into her throat as the bell jingled again. Everything inside her hoped Brendan had come back. The anger on his face had been obvious before he rushed out, but she had no idea what had caused it. Every instinct urged her to chase after him, but she couldn’t leave the store unattended. She’d seen the pain and fear in his eyes when she’d stepped away from him. It wasn’t that she was afraid of him. She needed him to know that, even though she wasn’t sure why it was so vital. But while growing up, she’d learned not to get in front of a wolf shifter when his emotions were that intense, and instinct had taken over.
As her sister walked through the door, Julie sighed, unsure whether to be relieved or disappointed.
“What’s going on?” Julie asked.
“I was kind of wondering the same thing. Come on, let’s talk for a sec. I’m sure Samantha’s wondering where I ran off to.” Laurie pulled Julie around the counter and toward a cluster of chairs.
“Why did you think Brendan and I were mates?” Laurie asked as they sat. Now Julie started to get nervous. First, Brendan had freaked out, and now Laurie was acting very un-Laurie-like.
“Aren’t you?” Julie swallowed.
“Of course not. Why would we be mates and not mated?”
“I didn’t know. I figured you must have had your reasons. But you’re always hanging out together. I just thought it was a given.” If they weren’t mates, why was Brendan always around?
“Well, we’re not, so you can get that thought out of your head.” The pat on her arm as she stood was neither patronizing nor comforting. “Besides, he has the hots for you,” Laurie threw over her shoulder, waving cheerily as she walked out the door.
Stunned, Julie sat staring at the front door, her mind stuck on the last thing Laurie had said. Brendan had the hots for her? No. Laurie had to be mistaken. He’d never even made a move on her. Well, unless one counted this morning. She had gotten the vibe he’d asked her out before…before all the mess had happened. Could Laurie be right?
Her thoughts drifted to Brendan, remembering his touch at the back of her neck as he’d helped her with the necklace yesterday. The one he’d bought her. Reaching up, her fingers clutched the charm around her throat. It had borne a remarkable resemblance to Brendan’s wolf form, including a small dent on the nose where he had a white streak. Last night, she’d convinced herself she was being silly when she noticed it, but now she wondered if maybe she had been right all along.
Okay, so he has the hots for me, she thought with a smile. A nervous giggle escaped. Granted having the hots was a long way from married with kids. As an alpha wolf, Brendan wouldn’t settle for anything less than a true mating. Still, it was a way to live out some of her fantasies, right?
Julie blew out a frustrated breath. Who was she kidding? The more she thought about it, the more implausible the whole thing became. A relationship, especially one that would never be more than fun, wasn’t what she needed right now. Not with Brendan. It was probably the worst thing. Never again would she settle for less than love. She’d learned that lesson the hard way.
Settling for less was what she’d done with George. From the start she had known he wasn’t perfect for her, but she’d figured her feelings would grow with time. She’d never loved him. But George had been human and comfortable. Right up until she’d discovered him in bed with some bimbo. But the worst part of it all was the truth she’d had to acknowledge afterward.
Julie didn’t belong among full humans.
As a full human among wolf shifters, she’d learned early in life she’d never be accepted among them. She’d always be that “freak Callahan.” She’d been convinced things would be better if she got away from this town. There had to be a place for her in the real world. But things hadn’t turned out as she’d anticipated. The feeling of detachment hadn’t gotten better but had continued to grow the farther away from Alpine Woods she had gone.
George had been her first real relationship, but there had always been something that never felt right about the whole thing. Julie had tried to ignore her feelings. Had even convinced herself they weren’t important. All girlfriends thought their boyfriends were immature and self-centered most of the time, right? At least, she’d tried to ignore them until she’d walked into his room and seen how ill-suited they really had been. Cheating didn’t happen among the wolves. So she’d never anticipated it. And then to have her friends try to convince her it happened to everyone–that wasn’t the world for her.
The feeling of failure, not heartbreak, was what had devastated her. Finding out in such an abrupt and harsh way how inadequate he’d found her was what hurt. It was also one reason she envied her siblings their mates. Mates didn’t have to wonder what their partner thought of them, or worry what they were doing, or who they were doing, when separated. They knew they were loved exactly as they were. But Julie didn’t have that luxury.
She’d walked away from the relationship with her illusions shattered. Living among full humans had been lonelier than among wolves. At least here she had her family. But in reality, she didn’t belong in either world.
It was lonesome being stuck between different and normal. Her whole life she’d been too ordinary to be special like her siblings. The past three years had taught her she was too different to be normal. So where did that leave her?
All by herself.
Dating Brendan, the man she’d always hoped would notice her, would only illuminate her loneliness. Hots aside, it was safer for her sanity to stay in the little sister category. Getting her hopes up for anything more than friendship was a recipe for disaster.