Читать книгу The Breaking of the Storm: Historical Novel - Spielhagen Friedrich - Страница 15

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The ladies retired as soon as the table was cleared. Frau von Strummin, who was accustomed to go to bed at nine o'clock, was really tired, and Meta professed to be so too. But her sparkling eyes belied her; and the two girls were no sooner alone, for their rooms communicated, and Meta insisted on acting as Elsa's lady's-maid, than she fell upon the latter's neck and declared that she loved to distraction the Captain, who, after all, was really a lieutenant.

"He is the very man I have always dreamt of," cried she; "young, but not too young, so that one can feel respect for him; wise, but not too wise, so that one is not afraid of him; brave, but no boaster; and then such beautiful white teeth when he laughs, and he laughs so readily and pleasantly. I should like him to be always laughing."

"How could you laugh as you did?"

"What was I to do? I had been serious for so long, I must laugh at something. And his dress! But do you know, as we said good-night to him just now, I was not at all inclined to laugh, I was quite agitated, and felt more like crying. I felt as if I should never see him again, and ought to apologise to him for all my rudeness. Now you are getting serious too; confess that you, too, are in love with him."

"I agree to everything that you have said of him, but as to being in love, that is going rather far."

"Not for me, not for my heart; only feel how it beats! Five minutes is enough to set my heart at work. I do not know how it is, but to see and to love are all one with me. One often makes mistakes, however; very often."

Meta seated herself on a stool, began to unplait her red gold hair, and said in a tragical tone:

"The first time--it is an immense while ago, I was about twelve years old--I fell in love with my brother's tutor. I have got a brother, you must know. He lives now in Lower Pomerania, where for the least possible amount of money the largest possible amount of sand can be bought. Of course the tutor has been married a long time now, and is a clergyman, and of course lives also in Lower Pomerania, close to my brother, and I saw him there this winter at a christening. Oh, how ashamed of myself I was!"

And Meta covered her face with her hands, and shook out her hair in front of her, till it fell like a thick veil to the ground.

"How ashamed of myself I was! It was dreadful! And if it had been only once! But the same story has been repeated at least twenty times--the last time in February, in Berlin, at the opera, in the first row of boxes. Papa said he was a pickpocket; but papa sees pickpockets everywhere when he is in Berlin, and spoils every enjoyment and destroys every illusion, and yet it is so pleasant to have illusions, when one is seventeen and inclined that way! Are you asleep already?"

"No, but I am very tired; give me a kiss, and then go to bed too."

Meta threw back her hair, sprang up, embraced Elsa with the warmest kisses, and whispered in her ear: "Do you know, I am as certain as I stand here that I shall be an old maid--a very old maid with a bent back, and great spectacles over my sunken eyes, and knitting an everlasting stocking with trembling hands! It is hard, you know, when one has a warm heart, and would take a husband on the spot, if he were only good and nice, and would be faithful to him till death, and beyond death, too, if he died first and really made a point of it. For you see our 'von' and our pretensions to nobility are all nonsense. They cannot make any one happy, particularly when there is nothing to support them, as is the case with us, and when one has a snub nose and red hair, and eyes of which one cannot tell oneself whether they are grey or green, or blue or brown. You have such wonderful soft chestnut-brown hair, and such a deliciously straight nose, and such beautiful, heavenly, hazel eyes, which are positively shining now in the half-light; and when you are the Countess you must be kind to poor little ugly Meta, and let me come here very often, that I may talk and laugh as much as I please--it does one so much good! oh, so much!"

And the strange little creature hid her burning face on her new friend's shoulder, and sobbed bitterly. Then she drew herself up suddenly, put back the hair from her face, and said: "I think I am tired too; I really do not know what I am saying. Good-night, you dear, beautiful thing!"

She raised herself, but dropped down again on the edge of the bed, bent over Elsa and asked in a whisper: "Have you never been in love? Do tell me, as you love me!"

"As I love you, no!"

"I thought so. Sleep well, and pleasant dreams to you!"

She kissed Elsa again, gathered her dressing-gown round her and glided away.