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Ngokukhawuleza uqhubele phambili kwinkcazo yabathathi-nxaxheba abaphambili kwimisitho ephakanyiswe ndim kweli candelo lamatyala.

Owokuqala kuluhlu nguMajor General Ottila Aligadzhievich Klop. Kubo bonke ababemngqongile, wayengengomgangatho wokukhula – amashumi asithoba anesithoba iisentimitha.

Uyabuza: «Kodwa wamkelwe njani kuluhlu lwabagcini bomyalelo, emva kwayo yonke, emva kwemitha enye enesiqingatha abayi kwamkelwa emkhosini, kwaye ngaphandle komkhosi abayi kwamkelwa… Kodwa yena-ityala elikhethekileyo: abazali bakhe, ngokuchanekileyo, umama wakhe kunye notatomkhulu wakhe, ababemkhonza esikhundleni sikayise, abahlali abaqhelekileyo baseRussia Federation, abaneengcambu zobuYuda. Yinto yokuba umama wakhe, kube kanye kule nkulungwane idlulileyo, xa umhlaba wawungasasebenzisi iikhompyuter kuyo yonke indawo kunye ne-Great Soviet Union, ngokuzithandela wajoyina uluhlu lwe-odolo yamazwe angaphandle, uxanduva lwayo yayikukucoca abagulayo emva kokukhuphela ithayile. Kwaye kwenzeka oku kwelinye ilizwe lase-Afrika kwaye izizwe zakudala zeephiramidi eziphakathi kwe-Afrika zagula, enye yazo, okanye endaweni yoko le nkokeli, ngu-Mdala oMkhulu, ikhulu elinamashumi amabini lamawaka eminyaka yekhalenda yakhe indala, kwaye kuba oontanga bakhe bakrokrela (wasweleka) kudala, ke ngoko, abo bakukhumbule ukuzalwa kwakhe babengenguye kwaye wayenakho ukubanga ukuba umama wakhe nguLanga, kwaye utata wakhe yiNyanga, njl. njalo njalo.. Ewe, umama ka-Ottila wexesha elizayo wayengakholelwa kule ntsomi, kodwa akazange akhubekise, uvele wancuma wanikina intloko kwi-Great Old-Timer yawo onke amadoda oMhlaba. Emva kokuba efumene ubunkokheli, abaphathi bakhe babezilangazelela ngokungaqhelekanga: amehlo e-bison aqingqiweyo kwisoso segalikhi, amasi anendlovu eneswekile eneswekile, isiselo esitsha segazi se-Ivan Kozimovich. Ngokubanzi, umama okhulelweyo uvukile emva koko ubomi bakhe babungasenomdla.

Ngokomthetho wesizwe sasePygmy, ukuphakama okuphakathi kwejoni kunye nomlondolozi womyalelo ubuncinci amasentimashumi asibhozo kwaye kungekho ngaphezulu kwe-metimitha enye enesiqingatha, kunjalo, basiwa emapoliseni abo bathunyelwa betshintshana namava eRussia. Wahlala ke ke kwinkonzo: wafumana isigxina, njengabo bonke abasebenzi beendwendwe, kuba ke wayengummi weRussian Federation kwangaxeshanye, akukho mntu wayenokumgxotha. Ngamafutshane, yonke into inokwenzeka kwilizwe lethu, ngakumbi imali. Kodwa kuye kwafuneka ukuba ahambe ngoqeqesho emkhosini kunye noyise kwisizwe kwaye ayigcwalise indlovu kwiimviwo. Oku kuchazwe kuxwebhu oluboniswe kwindawo yemfuno, eyayifakwe kwisisu sika-Ottila kwaye yavunywa yi-UNESCO. Ewe, olunye uxwebhu lwaluluqhotyoshelwe kulo, nangona lwalungekho, lwalukhangeleka ngathi lungamakhulu amawaka. Kwaye ngakumbi nangakumbi kuxwebhu oluphambili kwaboniswa ukuba usebenzela isikhundla somkhosi jikelele wenxalenye esemantla-ezantsi kwesizwe esibizwa ngokuba yiNakatika Ui Buka. Ewe, esi sihloko sanikezelwa kuye ngenxa kayise ngobomi bakhe bonke, ngakumbi kuba isizwe sabo sidweliswe kwimikhosi ye-UN.

U-Ottila omncinci wafumana la mava alandelayo kwinkonzo yesizwe, ngokuchanekileyo, waphumelela iimviwo:: ukungxola, ukuphosa i-tomahawk, «ukukhwela iziqu», okwamvumela ukuba akhwele, kokubini kwinqanaba elinyukayo kunye neempundu. Unokuphosa imilenze yomibini phezu kweendlebe zakhe okanye zabanye kwaye, ebambe izandla zozibini izandla, akwazi ukudanisa umdaniso wempompo, ukwenza amaxesha amathathu ukuphakama, ecaleni kwendlela, ngaphambili, ngasemva, kwaye ngaphandle kokuchukumisa umgangatho. Wafunda ukondla iikati, izinja kunye nokunye ukuluma kunye nokuqwenga izilwanyana, kubandakanya iingcongconi, iincukuthu, iinciniba kunye nebhere emnyama.

Emva kokuba u-Ottila ethunyelwe ngesicelo sakhe nangesiqhelo ngenxa yokugula kukanina, wathunyelwa kwi-Ofisi yoMphathiswa Wezangaphakathi njengamabhalana – umfuduki waseMarshall, angazange ambone ngamehlo, kodwa weva ilizwi lakhe kunomathotholo kunye nomnxeba okhethekileyo. Emva kweminyaka engamashumi amathathu anesibini, watshintshelwa kwilali yaseSokolov Ruchey, kwiLeningrad Region, naseSt. Petersburg, kaloliwe waseLyuban, ngenxa yokusikwa kwezixhobo zolawulo.

Babemenzela indlu yendlu, isikolo sangaphambili. Isiqingatha sokuqala sendlu yokuhlala ngaphakathi kwezakhiwo zezindlu, kwaye esesibini senzelwe njengendawo eyomeleleyo.

Kwaye u-Ottila Aligadzhievich uhlala eofisini yakhe kwaye abhale ngekota, kwaye kwangoko, ingxelo yonyaka. Ungxamile, wenza iimpazamo, udidekisa amagama kwiilwimi, kwaye wazi uninzi lwazo, kubandakanya: IsiFrentshi, isizwana somthonyama, iilwimi ezintlanu ezahlukeneyo zaseSoviet, isiLatin, isiRashiya, isiTaliyane, isiRussia fenya, isiRashiya esingemakhaya, ulwimi lokuphanda imibuzo nabanye.

Uyabhala, ubhale, emva koko unyana oneminyaka elishumi eze eofisini yakhe:

– Utata? -umntwana othobekileyo wabuza u-Izya oneminyaka elishumi elinamashumi amathathu ubudala.

– Yintoni, nyana? -ngakhange aphakamise intloko, uphendule amashumi asithoba anesithoba utata ka-Ottil.

– Tata..? -Iyaathandabuza. Utata wayesabhala.

– … Well, thetha?! wabuza utata.

– Tata, ndijonge ibhokisi apha, huh?!

– Kwaye yintoni?

– Amanye amagama akacacanga kum apho…

U-Ottila wajonga unyana wakhe ngendlela utata, ngaphandle kokuthoba intloko, wathwala imilenze yakhe kwisitulo esikhethekileyo enamajikojiko emilenzeni esecaleni, waphakama, waguquka wahlala etafileni. Ngelinye ixesha wajonga unyana wakhe ngeglasi, wabeka phantsi kwincam yempumlo wabuza, ejonge ngonyana wakhe kwaye engaphakamisi intloko yakhe, eyenze intloko yakhe yabetha nentamo. Wajonga wonke umntu ukusuka ezantsi phezulu. Kukwaphula nesikhundla sakhe sokuba ngummi. Kwaye kubaluleke ngakumbi phambi konyana okhule njengomntwana oqhelekileyo. Kwaye ngoku, ehleli etafileni, wayekwazi nokuba nokugcona amashiya akhe amnyama.

– Kwaye ngawaphi amagama angaqondi kuwe, nyana?

– Kulungile..: Mongameli, aMandla, FSB.. yintoni? Okwangoku asikadluli kwimbali. Ngaba kunjalo, ngebhanti.

– Okanye ngaba usisikolo esili-procuratorial ngeli xesha lokufunda. -utata uye wancuma, wakhupha iiglasi zakhe, wazihlanganisa kancinci, wabeka itafile. Ubetha unyana wakhe egxalabeni ngesinye isandla kwaye wamhlikihla ngentloko enkulu yempandla, ebengengomntu.

Ewe, mamela, -ubawo wagula, -u Mongameli kusapho lwethu ndim, amanye Amandla ngonyoko. Kulungile, yena, uyayazi into ayenzayo… akavumi ukungenisa, ukhangela izifundo.

«Fees,» wongeza uIya.

– ayondli, kodwa ilungisa ukutya. -wongeze utata.

– Kwaye ke ngubani owondla?

Utata wajonga kweliso likatat’ekhulu elineliso elisehlo lasekhohlo, emva koko ekunene, efunyanwa ngunyana wakhe ngogogo wakhe, bathi yayingamaTshayina, kodwa yayinguRussia kuphela. Ibizwe kanjalo inkosikazi yakhe; ukuphakama, ubunzima kunye nobubanzi besinqe kumakhulu amabini. Uneenwele ezimhlophe kunye neblue-eyed ngaphandle, ngokungafaniyo notata onamehlo abomvu.

– Ndiyanondla nonke! -nekratshi kwilizwi eliphantsi utata waphendula kwaye wakhupha isifuba sakhe. Ubuso bakhe baba nobulumko obuphezulu.

– Kwaye ngubani ugogo? -abuza unyana, ekhetha impumlo.

– Musa ukukha iimpumlo zakho, nyana, namhlanje ayisiyiyo imini yomsebenzi, -kwaye wasusa isandla sakhe entloko kunyana wakhe, ….. umakhulu wethu yi-KGB. KGB yemveli endala.

– Yintoni i-KGB? -U-Sonny unexhala.

Utata uye wasikhulula isandla sonyana wakhe, ejonge kunyana wakhe, ejonge inkunzi yegusha esangweni elitsha, kumzobo waseDzerzhinsky.

– I-KGB iyafana ne-FSB. Mdala kuphela njengomakhulu. Kwaye kulungile, ayifani ngoku, yonke into yonakele… Ngokubanzi, umakhulu yi-FSB…

– I-KGB … -unyana ulungisiwe kwaye, eqokelele isabisile yesabile eyomileyo kwizisele zamanzi ezimpumlo, wakhupha, wamjonga, waluma iingono zakhe, wamkhulula, esonga impumlo yakhe. – phew.., ityiwa.

– AYIKUDI i-roe enganyelwanga ngunyoko? – ubawo wayenomsindo.

– Hayi uyondla.

– Ndenza imali kokondla. Kwaye umama uyapheka aze atye kuloo nto ndiyifumeneyo. Ndiyifumene?

– Yamkelekile, iyaqonda, yamkelekile…

– Wenze kakuhle utata wakho, kwaye …?

Unyana waphakama kwikhawuntara ye-SMIRNO, njengoko umbingeleli wayeqhuqhile ukumbulala.

– Wenze kakuhle esitalini, kodwa ndenze kakuhle.!!..

– .. Asshole… heh heh heh… Salaga. -U-Otila wabetha umva wentloko ngobunono kunyana wakhe, kodwa u-Izya uyekisa kwaye wasondeza isixhobo sokulwa ngqo ngqo edamini (impumlo) kayise, njengoko wayefundisa.

– Uh..– U-Ottila wagcuma, efihla iintlungu, isandla sakhe simanxaxekile, kwaye amehlo akhe elila iinyembezi, -Hayi ke, ngaba umama uyondla okanye akunjalo?

– Iimfuno. Ukutya okumnandi … – Unyana waqala ukukhetha kwindlebe yakhe yasekhohlo … -Uye ke udadewethu kwaye ngubani?

– Kwaye wena nodade wethu?.. kwaye NANGABantu! -utata wancuma wanxiba iiglasi zakhe, wehla etafileni waya kwizitulo wabhala ngokubhekele phaya, eguqa ngamadolo ukuba phezulu.

– Kwaye kuthetha ukuthini ke kwi-AUTHORity yethu, kuloo veki… lo… omnye uMongameli weza …, waseMelika, i-KGB ilele, kwaye abantu bakhathazeka?

– Yintoni enye into enje ngumongameli? – Amehlo katata aphuma phantsi kweglasi.

– Kwaye loo nto ivalela aMandla egumbini xa uhlala kwindlu yangasese iiyure ezintathu,..

– Kwaye emva koko?

– .. ke, bayahleka kwaye benyuka, njengeekati ngo-Matshi ezitratweni ebusuku, emva koko bayancwina njenge-piglets xa bengathathi hlangothi. Kwaye uphume-emva kokuhlamba – emanzi.

– kwaye ndiphi ngeli xesha? -Utata waqhaqha.

– Kwaye usahlala kwindlu yangasese kangangeyure.., kwaye, njengesiqhelo, ukukhwaza: «yizisa iphepha!!!».

– Apha, bitch … -sinde kwi-grin yamazinyo ka-General Klop.

– Kwaye yintoni i «bitch»?

– Awungekhe uyithethe loo nto kwakhona. Kulungile?

– Uqondwe, wamkelekile, Amen. -Ndiphinde ndaphakama, kwikhawuntara yeIzza.

– Unenjongo yokulwa, ukufumana ukuba ngubani uMongameli wesibini.

– Sele ifunyenwe. Lo ungaphantsi kwakho – Intsefalopath Arutun Karapetovich.

– Indoda endala le? Uneminyaka engamashumi amathathu mdala kuye, kwaye amashumi amane anesithathu ndimdala kunam. Hei… sisidenge esi, ngaba sisihlobo?

– Ha ha ha ha!!!! -Emva kwexesha elincinci, utata wavele waqhushumba kwaye waphantse waphuka isitulo sakhe. Injalo ke indlela ahleka ngayo, nokuba igama elicinyiweyo alinakuchazwa, lilize kuphela. Kodwa wabambelela egxalabeni lonyana wakhe. – Owu, ha, kulungile, hamba, kuya kufuneka ndisebenze, kwaye omnye lo Mongameli unamaqanda enkukhu efrijini yakhe ezipokothweni nasezihlangu.

– Hee-hee, -Iya igcinwe ithule, – kwaye mhlawumbi ikatala?

– Ufuna ntoni…

Unyana wayonwabile kwaye wabalekela kwisiqingatha sokuqala sendlu.

I-protagonist yesibini kunye nomncedisi wokuqala wamapolisa wesithili, u-Corporate Intsefalopat Harutun Karapetovich, owayesakuba ngumbhali gastorbwriter, wafumana umsebenzi kumhlala-phantsi ophakathi, ngenxa yomfazi ka-Ottila, u-Isolda Fifovna Klop-Poryvaylo. Wayemde kathathu kunomphathi wakhe kwaye wayebahlanu ngokuthamba kunkosikazi womphathi wakhe. Impumlo ibutshiwe, njengokhozi kunye neeblukhwe, njengoBudyonny okanye uBarmaley. Ngokubanzi, unyana wokwenene weentaba, lowo ekuqaleni kwePerestroika, ehla esiya etyuwa, ekhubeka kwaye eqagela e-gorge, kanye kwinqwelo yempahla, evulekile ngaphandle kophahla, ngamalahle avela eTbilisi – iSt. Kwisikhululo, uLyuban uvukile waxhuma. Usebenze apha naphaya de wadibana nenkosikazi yepolisa lesithili ngelixa laliselisela. Wamncoma njengomzala ovela kwiCaucasus.

Uwugqibile umsebenzi, u-Ottila Aligadzhievich Klop, njengamaxesha onke, wathabatha umfanekiso ohleli etafileni kunye nomfanekiso kaMongameli ongafezekanga, waphefumlela phezulu, wawususa engalweni yakhe, wancuma umphambili wakhe kwisithsaba sentloko, wawubeka kwindawo yakhe efanelekileyo kwikona efanelekileyo yetafile, wayifaka ecaleni kwepensile ngeepeni, irabha, neepensile, Ipakethi yamaphephandaba ekhethiweyo asimahla acocekileyo acocekileyo. Wayethiyile iphepha lokuya ngasese. Yinto emincinci kwaye umnwe uhlala ugqojozwa ngalo ngawona mzuzu ubalulekileyo kwaye kuya kufuneka uyisuse. Kwaye ukuyishukumisa kwindawo emxinwa, kukho ithuba lomnwe wokubetha ibhloko yokhuni yangaphakathi kwigumbi lokuhlala laseSoviet elivisayo kunye nokuva iintlungu, isimo sengqondo sakhe senza ukuba umnwe ogulayo ugalelwe ngamathe afudumeleyo, endaweni yoko uve incasa yakhe, neyayinxibe iiyure ezingama-24, ebeka igumbi lokuphumla ngaphandle kwexesha.

Ukusula ukubila ebunzini lakhe, emaphepheni, ezingalweni, emilenzeni nangaphantsi kwamaqanda, apho wafunga khona nzima, wasebenzisa ithawula lokuhlamba. Uyabuza: kutheni ungayi rag? Impendulo ilula: ithawula likhulu kwaye lihlala ixesha elide.

Kwakusekuhlwile, kwaye usapho lwalusele luphefumla kudala. U-Ottila, engena kwindawo yokuhlala kule ndlu, bathula cwaka bangena ekhitshini, bathatha itoti yeelitha ezintlanu yokukhanya kwelanga kwifriji. Uhluthwe kwi-huckster yendawo. Wayicinezela esiswini, uthathe nje isoso, apho iqhekeza le-herring, elilunywe yenye yekhaya. Okanye mhlawumbi le bhokhwe indala, i-Intsephalopath, ebingakhange ibrashe amazinyo ubomi bayo bonke kwaye ilume umhlathi wayo nge-caries.

«Kungenxa yoko le nto bendine-caries,» watsho uKlopa, «wamanga u-Isolde, u-Isolde Izyu, u-Izya usoloko esanga imilebe yam kangangeminyaka emihlanu kunye nesine eziswa esikolweni kanye okanye kabini ngonyaka. Le ayisiyo pedophilism, inye okanye zimbini … – Kodwa amazinyo e-Incephalopath ubukhulu becala amnyama, i-hemp kunye neengcambu zihlala ziphalaza igazi, kodwa uHarutun akazange abuva zintlungu kwaphela. Esi siphene kwiDNA asimenzakalanga nakanye, kodwa sada sanceda ngempumelelo kuphando.

U-Ottila watyibilika wafuna ukubuyisela ipleyiti endaweni yakhe, kodwa ecaphuka embizeni, wagqiba ekubeni angayideli. Ukukhanya kwelanga kubulala iintsholongwane yonke into. Utshintshe ingqondo, waya etafileni. Kwakukho umabonakude omncinci ekhitshini, kwaye wayikhanyisa endleleni. Apha endleleni, ndiye kwisitovu segesi ndavulela isivalo sepani, ndimi kwi-tiptoe. Iphunga, ekuphelileyo kulo, wayeka ukunxila u-Ottila kwaye wayefuna ngoko nangoko ukutya. Wathatha ikhabhathi: isitya, itafile, ipepile, umngqusho, isonka, imayonesi, ukhilimu omuncu, i-kefir, i-airan, i-kounto, ketchup, igqabi le-bay, i-mug, iicontons ezimbini: ezinkulu nezincinci, kwaye, bezabalaza ukubamba ibhalansi yakhe, waya etafileni, waphakama wadinwa: izandla zozibini zidlulile, zigcwele kakhulu nditsho ndisebenzisa ii-elbows. Yonke into edwelisiweyo ihamba kancinci. U-Ottila wazama ukutyhala iplate etafileni ngempumlo yakhe, kodwa itafile yayiphezulu, kwaye iingqiniba zayo zaqala ukudumba. U-Ottila wakhukhumala kwaye wabeka yonke into kwisitulo. Emva koko waxambulisana kwaye, ecofa isitulo ukuze ubone umabonakude, emi ngakwisitulo, esidla ngokusebenza njenge tafile ebambeleyo, sime, sagalela ikhulu elinamanci mahlanu eekhilitha zenyanga kwilanga lokuphumla saza saziphalaza ngokunzulu, sigcwalisa yonke ngaxeshanye nges swig esinye kwaye sihamba kunye nesandi Isandi gurgling. Wacaphuka njengelamuni yakudala, ngaphandle kokuthandabuza, wabamba isiqwenga se-herring ehlanganisiweyo kunye nesihlanu sayo yonke kwaye waxhuma nesiqingatha kunye namathambo. Iithambo zembiwe kulwimi lwalo kunye nolwimi. Ubuye wancama, kodwa emva koko wakhumbula i-yoga kayise kwaye wayilibala intlungu, njengoko oogogo okanye abantwana balibale izitshixo kunye nezinye izinto ezingabalulekanga. Okulandelayo emgceni yayikhona isobho. Isuphu iqulathe ezi ntlobila zilandelayo: i-peas, i-sauerkraut, iitapile, i-anyanisi egayiweyo kunye ne-carrots kwi-paste yetamatato, iimpondo zengqolowa ezithambileyo, i-semolina, iqanda lenkukhu elixubileyo kunye nesiqwenga sokubamba igobolondo, isiphatho somunwe, ubungakanani bomntu okhulileyo, kwaye linongwe ngeqhekeza elinye lethambo kwinyama ene-veins kumgangatho wepani. Inyama, ekucacileyo, yayityiwa ngaphambili, kumgaqo: «kusapho olukhulu… sukucofa.» Ngokuncanca isobho esiswini esidumbileyo kwaye ijongeka njengamahashe, u-Ottila ubethelwe esiseleni kwaye waphila, ngelixa efumana iindaba ngononophelo. Imagazini elandelayo yeZiko leeFowuni yayikwisikrini seTV:

– Kwaye yeyona nto inomdla, umthengisi uqhubeke wathi, «… utitshala omnye u-Irkutsk wayengumntu othanda uNikolai Vasilyevich Gogol kwaye bawushiya umsebenzi wakhe, ngakumbi umsebenzi u» NOS». Ubomi bam bonke ndonga imali yohambo oluya eLeningrad (ngoku eyiSt. Petersburg), apho kwakumiswe khona ilitye lesikhumbuzo elinempumlo ende kwiphepha lobhedu, elifana neGogolevsky. Kodwa uPerestroika waphazamisa zonke izicwangciso; utyale imali yakhe yonke kwi-OJSC yeMM kwaye, njengezigidi zediphozithi, wasala nomngxuma we-donut. Akuba efudumele kwaye ehlupheke kakubi ngumgaqo obanzi we-Myocardial, waphinda waqala ukonga imali yokuthatha uhambo oluya e-St. Kwaye iphupha ekudala lalindelwe lazaliseka kwiminyaka elishumi. Weza kwidolophu elikhulukazi iqhawe laseSt. Kwaye, akuba efumanisile kwi-ofisi yokubuza apho sikhona isikhumbuzo esifunwayo kunye nolindelwe kudala, wakhawuleza weza nezinto ezothutho lukawonke-wonke ngokutshintshela ezintathu, kutheni etshintshile? Kukuba uMoskvichka wayehleli kwidesika yolwazi, kwaye iiMuscovites, ngokungafaniyo nePitertsev, zithanda ukuthumela ngenye indlela, njengeli xesha. Ukufika kwakhe kwiiyure ezintlanu emva kwendawo eyayilindelwe kudala, wajonga ecaleni, engafumani nto injalo, wagqiba kwelokuba acele amagosa asebupoliseni akufutshane ukuba aqwalasele abasebenzi abahamba abafudukayo abaza kubakhulula oomakhulu kubo:

«Bathandekayo, ubabizile, omnye wabo uphendule wajonga kuye,» ungandixelela ukuba siphi na ilitye lesikhumbuzo eliseGogol’s NOS?»

– Kwaye apha, – umsebenzi wajija intloko yakhe, – kwindawo ethile apha. -kwatsho eludongeni kunye nase -anaanarel: ukusuka kwindawo ekwakukho kuyo imingxunya eludongeni kunye nesinyithi esingafakwanga, ubungakanani beplathi ebiwe ngempumlo yomntu. Ugogo wasweleka ngoko nangoko ngenxa yesifo sentliziyo. Kwaphela oku kudluliswa kwethu. Konke okuhle. Ku

UOttila wasela enye iglasi waza walala.

Ebumnyameni ecaleni kwebhedi uye watyhila kwaye wakhwela eyohlula kwicala lomfazi wakhe, owayenuka eqhuqha. Akashukumi. Xa wakhwela phezu komfazi wakhe kwaye wayephakathi eludongeni kunye nenkosikazi yakhe, wamangaliswa kukudakumba kunye nomoya ovela kwimilebe yesiqingatha esihle. U-Ottila waphefumlela phezulu umoya kwaye waphakamisa isifuba sakhe sangaphezulu, esincinci kunentloko yakhe, wanamathela entloko ngasemva kwentloko yakhe ukuya ekuthandeni komfazi wakhe. Ubeke indlebe yakhe ngezantsi kwaye wayigquma indlebe ephezulu ngesifuba. Ukuqhwanyaza wanyamalala, kwaye waguqa okomntwana, ngobushushu kunye nokuthuthuzela.

Ekuseni uvuke waxinana phezu komqamelo. Kwakungekho mfazi. Uye kwigumbi lokuhlambela kwaye uhlambe impahla yakhe, enxibe iimpahla zonke. Uye kumnyango wendlela yokungena kweStrongpoint, waphatha isiphatho, kwaye… Ucango luvulwe kuye bekule meko kwaye waxhuzula, ngeli xesha wacinezela isiphatho somnyango, ehambisa u-Ottila kwisithuba seStrongpoint, ngokungathi ngaphandle kwesidalwa somoya. Wabhabha wangena ngaphakathi waya e-Mount Wife. Isisu esine amabele axhonyiwe kwaye saphosa i-precinct.

– Uyintoni? Izoldushka!? -Ubuzile wothuswa yimpukane kwaye emva koko weva iintlungu ngasemva kwentloko yakhe, wabetha phantsi.

– Sula iinyawo zakho, ndiye ndahlamba apho. wakhonkotha kwaye uqhubela phambili ukuthoba umgangatho, egobe ngasemva ngezantsi, umva kuye. Ipolisa lajikeleza iesile lakhe, lazisula imilenze, lazinxiba iindlebe zomvundla, zangena eofisini. Into yokuqala ayenzileyo, wakhwela esitulweni, emva koko wahamba waya kwifowuni etafileni kwaye wamsondeza kuye. Utsho ethatha ifowuni, ehleli ecaleni kwe tafile wayibeka endlebeni. Utsalele umnxeba umnxeba womphathi wakhe, washukumisa imilenze, walinda, wabala i-beeps.

– Ullah! -iviwe kwelinye icala locingo emva kwetyala elinamashumi amahlanu.

– Comrade Marshal? Oku kubiza uMnu. General District Clop.

– Ahhhh… nguwe lowo? -I-Comrade uMarshall yayingathandekiyo, -zenzeka njani izinto endaweni entsha? Awuzange ubize ixesha elide, uqale ulibale ukuba ngubani… u… um, uyondla.

– Hayi, uyintoni, Exusendius Janis oglu Snegiryov. Akukho sizathu sakuphazamisa intloko yakho endala ngaphandle.

– Baska, utsho, umfanyana?

– Uh… hayi, uxolo, intloko.

– Kulungile, masifumanise kamva, malunga nendlela yokuziphatha kwabangaphantsi nabanini. Kulungile, yintoni onayo, into ebalulekileyo?

– Ewe!!!

– Yintoni le uyithukayo, i-pygmy ayisiRussia?

– Uxolo, ewe.

– Kulungile, siza kuphinda sithethe ngemida yenqanaba elamkelekileyo lengxoxo ngocingo, eyamkelwe kufundo lokuqala lwendibano yowiso-mthetho eMoscow naseRussia.. Kwaye, uthini ngawe, Sneak Bug? Nize nikhawuleze, ndilibele ukuya entlanganisweni.

Ngaba ubukele phezolo kwiphepha elilandelayo leZiko leeFowuni?

– Hayi, ndineDiViDishka. Kwaye yintoni?

– E-St. Petersburg, ilitye lesikhumbuzo kwi-Nose.

– Kwaye yintoni?

– Ndingathanda ukwenza uphando ngeli tyala, ukuba ungavuma, O Hon. Mnu.

– Yintoni enye into eyenzeke phantsi kwempumlo, ekungekho mntu uye wayixelela yona, ukuthetha ngokucacileyo. Leliphi ilitye lesikhumbuzo elinqumle iimpumlo zabo?

– Kulungile, kunye noGogol..

– Impumlo kaGogol inqunyulwe?

– Hayi, uGogol unalo ibali malunga ne-FNL.

– Kwaye yintoni?

– Ukuhlonipha eli bali, kwakhiwa ibala lesikhumbuzo eSt. Kwaye ndiyazi rhabaxa ngubani owenze lonto.

– Abangenamakhaya okanye yintoni? Akukho namnye umntu. Ubhedu. Kwaye ufuna ntoni kum?

– Ukuqhuba eli shishini, ikhatyhidi.

– ke zixakeke, yintoni ingxaki? Kodwa kuphela ngexesha lakho lasimahla.

– Kodwa ndiya kufuna iindleko, iindleko zokuhamba, izidlo, indawo yokuhlala ehotele, abakhweli beteksi.

– M-ewe. Kwakufuneka iqale ngale. Yiloo nto ukuya eSt. Petersburg, ungathatha umvalo ngololiwe, iBomzhovskoe iyathandana, ke ihotele ayinanto yakwenza nayo. Ungasitshintsha kwisikhululo okanye, okona kubi, kwizindlu ezingekho phantsi komgangatho. Uya kudla nabo. Kwaye esixekweni nasezinyaweni ungahamba kunye nokukhanya kwe-St. Akukho mali kuhlahlo-lwabiwo mali ndide ndigqibe ukwakha ikhitshi. Well, uyandiqonda?

– Kwaye kwidesika ye-Strongpoint yam? Ndikhethe apha ukuhlawulisa amafama ngokudibeneyo.

– Kwaye okuninzi?

– Ewe kwanele okwesihlandlo sokuqala.

– Kulungile. Yithathe kwiakhawunti. Ukuba usombulula ingxaki, ndiza kukuhlawula iindleko zeerisithi zokuthengisa, kodwa hayi?! Ayisiyo yam ukuba ndithathe isigqibo, kuba imali yoluntu.

– Kulungile, uMzekelo uJanis oglu Snegiryov. Ewe, andinalo ixesha elincinci, kodwa ndiza kuza nento. -U-Ottila wabeka phantsi ifowuni kwaye walala etafileni, iingalo zandisiwe.

– Nantsi, ishishini elitsha! Ngoku baya kufumanisa ngam ePetrovka 38.

Umnyango ungene, kunye nemilinganiselo enkulu ka-Isolde Fifovna, isiqingatha sakhe esiphambili, savela.

– Ngaba uza kutya? -ucele ngobumnene, -kwaye ungazibeki etafileni, ndiyisisulile.

– Ndiza kufumana isidlo sakusasa apha!

– Ithetha ukuthini NAYE? Ndifana nomlindi okanye into? Yiya ekhitshini kwaye utye njengaye wonke umntu. Andizukuthwala.

– Ndingathanda ukuba, kodwa uMarshall kufuneka anditsalele umnxeba.

– Mhlekazi? Ndingatsho njalo. Emva koko linda. Unyana uzisa ngoku okuseleyo. Uye wehla etafileni, uSherlock Holmes… Hahaha … – wahleka wangena kwisiqingatha sesibini sendlu.

Ucango lwasesitratweni ngaphambili, kwaye i-Corporate Incephalopath yavela emnyango.

– Ndingayifumana ikharethi?

– Ngena uhlale phantsi… Sineshishini… Ngomso siza eSt. -U-Ottila waphakama, waguquka wahlala kwisitulo.

– Kutheni?

– Iliwa lesikhumbuzo kwimpumlo ye-Gogol.

– -Ndihlala ndicinga, u-Bos…

I-APULAZ 2

UHarutun Karapetovich wayebonakala emncinci kwaye mde. Ubuso yayisiCaucasian esiqhelekileyo. Iinwele zimvi, zide ziye emahlombe, nkqu njengengca. Kwi-Tiechka kukho i-baldness eqinileyo efunyenwe emsebenzini odlulileyo njenge-janitor kubasebenzi beendwendwe. Ngaphambili, ebesebenza njengekati, emva kweminyaka elishumi esentolongweni, njengebanjwa lezopolitiko. I-anecdote ixelele ngo-Lenin, inkokeli ye-proletariat, kunye neehagu, kumphicothi zincwadi kwibhunga ledolophu, kwaduma. U-Lenin ngewayesabele ngokulula, avele ahleka, kodwa abasemagunyeni apho – hayi. Kodwa yayikho emva kwexesha leSoviet. Kwaye ke, ngokunyamalala kwenkqubo yeSoviet, irekhodi lolwaphulo-mthetho nalo lwanyamalala. Uhlaziyiwe kwaye wanikwa izibonelelo zegesi. Kodwa ngokuthatha kwakhe umhlala phantsi, wayefuna ukuba luncedo eluntwini, emva koko inkosikazi yepolisa lesithili elitsha lanyanzelwa ngamehlo aluhlaza kwaye… okuseleyo kukuHack… Ke, ndiyacinga, hayi ukungafungi… Ke waya kwinkampani ipolisa lesithili, kwaye isikhundla sahlala kwinkonzo yomkhosi.

Wayewathanda umphenyi wesiNgesi uPootot kwaye ke ngoko wayebetha umbhobho onjengeHolmes, wabadanisa nje. Wanxiba umnqwazi kunye neendevu, njenge-Elkyl’s, eyiGeorgia kuphela. Nokuba umtsi uthengile efanayo kunye nesticoat kubasebenzi baseMariinsky Opera nakwiBallet Theatre ngebhokisi yokukhanya kwelanga. Ezi zihlangu zazenziwe ukuba zi-odolwe ngummelwane owayesebenza njengomsebenzi wokudubula elalini. Waze wayikhuphela ngaphandle ngezikhonkwane kwaye xa ehamba, ngakumbi i-asphalt, ucofa njengehashe okanye intombazana evela eBroadway. Impumlo yakhe injengokhozi, kwaye amehlo akhe amakhulu enjengele lemur.

«Ke,» watsho u-Ottila, wahlala kwisitulo esikhethekileyo. U-Izya wakhwela ucango wangena eofisini. Kwitreyi wayephethe amaqanda aqwengwe ngeentlanzi kunye nencindi yakhe yegalikhi ayithandayo. -iza ngokukhawuleza, ngapha koko iphiramidi sele iqhuma.

– Fuuuu! -Ipephalopath emileyo, – uyisela njani? Unokuphumla…

– Ungayiqonda ngantoni igourmet entle? Sukusela. Ndiyithanda ngokwam. -Uk… – uthathe isiphu seOttila kwaye.., – Uhhh, -uye wagqobhozela ecaleni. Utsiba wagxadazela wabaleka waya kwikona yeofisi. Umngxunya weetubhu ezinomngundo obonakalayo ushiye umqala kwaye kwangoko, njengegesi yinyembezi, walikhukulisa lonke igumbi. UArutuna wabanjwa sisifuba kwaye xa edakumbile, wayengekho sakhono.

– Ngaba unokuba neentloni okanye okuthile?! Ndilungele ooyihlo.

– Okanye umama? -U-Ottila wayefumana amaqanda aqanduselwe kwaye, enomlomo, ecaphula iingcongconi, ekhonkotha ngokungqongqo: – wonke umntu unencasa yakhe, watsho umHindu, esuka phantsi kwinkawu esula iqhude lakhe ngegqabi lebhanana. Ngaba ufuna iliso?

– Yhu! Uxolo, mthetheleli, ndilibele into … – U-Arutun Karapetovich wayenentloni kwaye wahlala phantsi kwisitulo.

Ngesiquphe kwangena ucango lwasesitratweni kwangena umfazi osekhulile oneminyaka elikhulu ubudala.

– Ngubani ongavalanga umnyango??? Ndixakekile, gogo!!! -Igciwane yeKlop kwaye ixhwile…

Umfazi weva ukuba ukhohlela, wabalekela kuye ephepheni kunye nepeni, ukuze abhale umyolelo. Kodwa ke, akubona ukungabi nto kwakhe, watshamba wabetha umyeni wakhe ngamabhanti egxalabeni. I-Ottila yakhwaza yatshiza isikhupha.

– Uh, Harutun, ixhala elidala, kutheni ungavalanga ucango emva kwakho xa ufikileyo? Kwaye wena, mnumzana, phuma, sinomhlangano.

– Njani? kubuza ugogo osisithulu.

– Grunt! yiza emva kwesidlo sangokuhlwa!! -atsho uKlop ngelizwi elikhulu.

– Yitya, utye, isithandwa kunye ne-marigold… Ndiza kulinda. -utat’omkhulu wancuma kwaye ebambe ongezantsi, njengoko kwakungekho zizitulo ezingaphezulu, kwaye kwakungekho siko ukunikezela ngendawo apha, kwaye akukho namnye ophuma kubaphulaphuli owafika ezingqondweni.

– Luhlobo luni lesidlo sasemini? Huh? Ndifumana isidlo sakusasa… Kwaye kwi-ajenda: sebenza kunye nabangaphantsi. -U-Ottila waphakamisa isandla sakhe kwaye, ephethe isipuni ngeqhekeza leqanda, wakhupha isibetho ngqo esweni likaHarutun, – kwaye wena? -atsiba esihlalweni, -ngenambulelo yokulamla, – emva kokoatsiba etafileni, – ninokutya ukukhanya kwelanga kuphela, nize nobuso ebusweni. Andizukuhamba njenge-coyote.. -njenge-acrobat, ukusebenzisa i-somersault, ndatsiba ukusuka etafileni ukuya emgangathweni, – kwaye ndikunyamezele.. Bhala ingxelo kwaye yile!

– Yiphi ingxelo? Yintoni le uyithukayo? «U-Isolde Fifovna wamphazamisa ngesikhalo seKing Kong.»

– Ah? -umgama waqala ngokuqala.

Yintoni le uyithukayo? -ubuze ngokuzola nangokuthe cwaka, awuboni, ulele ixesha elide.

– Ke, apha, ngoku, ukuhlala ubusuku ngokungaphezulu? I – Incifalatus, khupha lo mhlala phantsi. – U-Ottila waphinda wabuyela ebhegini wakhwela kwisihlalo ukuze abe nokutya ngakumbi.

I – Incephalopath, patron, hayi Incifalate. -walungisa uCorporate waya kwinkazana endala elele. Wamtyhala kancinci ngomsele, njengoPootot okanye uWatson. -Uyintanda, ee?! -jikajike kuMphathi, owayesele ehleli etafileni kunye neentshatsheli.

– Mhlekazi, yena, ngokoluvo lwam, ukrwada.

– Yintoni? Ukudlwengula.

– Kulungile,. Akaphefumli. Ifile. -uphinde woyike kwilizwi lakhe watsho uHarutun. Imilebe yakhe yanyibilika. Wayecinga ukuba naye uya kulindelwa okufanayo. UHarutun walila.

I-Ottila iyabanda ngumlomo wokutya. Wajonga umfazi wakhe wabuza:

– Zhinka, hamba uyikhuphe.

U-Fifovna waphakama wanyusa ixhegokazi ngombala. Iinyawo zaye zenyuka phantsi, kwaye amadolo akaqondile. Uye wenyuka wabeka isidumbu njengevasi phambi kwe-mug, ngesidenge wajonga umlomo wakhe ugcwele amaqanda ahlafunisiweyo, umyeni wakhe.

Zibonele ngokwakho, ntlungu, ingaba ufile okanye akunjalo?! kwaye wayesele eza kuhamba. -Uye, uZhinka. Uya kuphendula ngenxa yeZhinka. wathula…

– Msuse etafileni, wena sidenge!!! Ngaba u… nyhani, okanye yintoni? Ndiyinkosi apha, kunye nomphathi, kwaye wena…

– Kulungile, yaqala kwakhona. -ugqibelele itreyi Intsephalopath.

– Kwaye usebenzisa ingxowa ye-Ottila Aligadzhievich Klop mahala! – izinyibilikisi zisuka emlonyeni zabhabha zodwa, Kwaye ngokubanzi … «Uyintombi apha.» Ndiyifumene?

– Ewe, nkosi yam. -Donald Isoldushka kwaye waguqa. Intloko yakhe yayiqaqanjelwe yintloko yomyeni wakhe emi etafileni. Kwaye ubungakanani beentloko zabo buya kuphembelela nayiphi na i-pessimist: Intloko yakhe yayiphindwe kahlanu kunaye.

– Kulungile, heh heh heh, ndikuxolele, thabatha lo ugogo uphumele ngaphandle emnyango waya kwiveranda. Hayi, kungcono kude nekhaya. Kusasa kwaye umntu uza kumfumana.

Unkosikazi wasithatha isidumbu wasihambisa apho wayalela khona umniniyo. Emva kwayo yonke loo nto, usebenze nenkxaso, njengegcisa lobuchwephesha, umgcini-jitter kunye nonobhala-usompempe kwisikhundla se-mattress esiphezulu. Umzuzu emva koko wabuya kwaye wahamba, esiya etafileni.

– Ndiyiphose ngaphaya kocingo.

– Ngaba usisidenge okanye unento? Le yintshatsheli yesityalo. Kuyinyani, ukuhlala. Ngamafutshane-ibhamu.

– Uyatya. -umfazi wanyusa iplate.

– andifuni. Ngefanele ukuba ubeke kwisitya sam. Kukutya okunjani oku? Ndikhuphe, batye abantwana batye. Musa ukubaxelela into endiyityileyo. Kwaye emva koko badelela.

Kulungile, ukuba unesifebe esivela emlonyeni wakho. Ngaba ufuna ukuhlamba amazinyo xa wawagcina ukuwacoca, kwiminyaka elikhulu eyadlulayo? -umfazi uqokelele izitya etafileni waya kwindawo yokuhlala yehafu yendlu.

– Thula, mfazi! Uqonda ntoni ngevumba? Kulungile, -ndilahle engxoweni yam ngezikhuhla nasemacaleni etafileni. -Oko bendifuna ukukuthetha. Huh?.. Ke, lungiselela ukuya kuPeter.

– Kutheni?

– Ewe, osebenza kunye, sineshishini elitsha elinobuzaza. Okokuqala kunye nokugqibela!

– Ngaba siyatshintshelwa eSt. -UHarutun wakhupha iinwele zakhe ezimpumlweni zakhe, wavuya kwaye wagrunjelwa ngumhluzi.

– Hayi, zithathe zipholile. Siza kuphanda ngomcimbi onzulu, singangxami ngokujonga imihlambi, sikhangela iinkukhu ezilahlekileyo kunye nenkunzi. Kwaye emva koko, xa simfumene, siya kudluliselwa ngaphezulu…

– iphi ezulwini?

– Isidenge, akukho zixeko ezulwini, eMelika.

– Kwaye siza kujonga ntoni? Yintoni ekufuneka ifumaneke ukuze usithumele eMelika?

– Siya kujonga impumlo…

– Ngempumlo kabani? -UHarutun akazange aqonde.

U-Ottila wakhwela etafileni kwaye wahamba waya kwelinye icala, kufutshane neCorporate. Wahlala phantsi kwaye waxhuma imilenze yakhe, encokola kunye nabo.

Ewe, ngokufutshane.. – waqala ngelizwi elinesiqingatha.

– Kwaye yintoni, kwisisebe emva koko?

– Nerd, ukhuphiswano. Eli tyala linokuthi lithathwe yimbewu.

– Ahhh! Ndayiqonda ikhareji.

– Ke emva koko, umkhono. Heh, kupholile! Ndiyi «cartridge», kwaye «ungumkhono». Kwaye i-cartridge ifakwe emkhombeni. Hahaha Iyahlekisa

– Hayi. Bafaka i-bullet kwi-cartridge.

– Yintoni, smart? Kwaye uyazi ukuba kwilizwe lethu wonke umntu ulumkile-ulihlwempu kwaye ulihlwempu. Ngaba ufuna ukwenza umahluko? Mamela ke, andizukuchaza kabini. Indawo engcwele soze ingenanto. Kwaye indawo yakho, hayi iNgcwele nje.. Ngaba uyazi ukuba bangaphi abantu abangaphangeliyo kwilali yethu abafuna ukukuthatha ukuba uthathe indawo yakho yasimahla?

U-Harutun waqhekeza amehlo ngenxa yokoyika kwaye wasula iinyembezi zokungazithembi.

– Uxolo, ikhatriji, hayi ibhulethini ifakwe emkhombeni, kodwa ikhatriji.

– Kulungile, yiva ke, malini, ndiza kukuchaza ngokufutshane: Eeee… uyifundile uGogol?

– Wasela mogul.

– Uyandiqhatha?

– Kwakuhlekisa. Ndibukele iifilimu ngokuthatha kwakhe inxaxheba.

– Kulungile. Ngaba ubukele imovie malunga neNOS?

– Malunga nantoni?

– Kulungile, ayikhathaleli eyakho? … – U-Ottila watsibela etafileni, -Horum kwakhona?

– Mnn, ewe! -umntu omkhulu wasukuma wema ngxi. U-Ottila wajonga le micimbi yomdibaniso kwaye, ngamehlo aqwayingayo, waphakamisa intloko, ephosa intloko kuye esiphelweni kwaye wabona kuphela into yokulala.

– Hlala ngoku fucking!! wakhwaza. Umbutho wayehleli kwindawo yokuqala.

– Ndikhumbula. I-cartridge… kulapho indoda yaphulukana nempumlo…

– Ukhunjulwe?

– Kulungile |

– Siya kumkhangela. Ngokwakhe … – Kwaye u-Ottila watsala umnwe kule ndawo. -ndibuze ngesiqingatha semini. Ucele kakhulu ukuba nam ndiwuthathe ngokwam lo mbandela. Ukuthetha, kwathatha ulawulo lomntu.

– nguThixo?

– Hayi, wena sidenge, Mhlekazi. Nuuu, uthixo wethu. Watsho ukuba akukho mntu umbi kunaye…

– Kwaye siya kumkhangela njani. Eli bali?! Ngaphezu koko, bafa.

– Ngoobani?

– Ewe, aba bantu baphambili basweleke kudala… kwaye uGogol lingqina eliphambili, iyafana… kuhle, ufile.?! Oku akuhlekisi.. Ahhh?

– Isidenge. -Ibug itsiba ukusuka ezingubeni ze-Incephalopath. -Siya kujonga ilitye lesikhumbuzo kwibhodi yobhedu ebiwe. Nokuba ngabantu abangenakhaya okanye iikati. Yonke into efanayo, ilitye lesikhumbuzo eNOSU, kwaye mhlawumbi… izixhobo zakudala.!?

– Kwaye ngubani oza kuhlala apha?

I – Isolde kunye ne-Izzy eyintloko.

– Ngaba usemncinci?

– Akukho nto incinci, ndandimazi umfazi kwiminyaka yakhe.

– Ngale nto, uninzi lweengqondo aludingeki: yibeke, spat kwaye uhambe…

– Uyazi njani, wazi njani…

– Hayi, mlathisi, ndingahlala, intliziyo yam ibuthathaka…

Akukho nto, apha eSt. Petersburg uya kuphefumla igesi kunye nokukhululeka.

UHarutun wayefuna ukuthetha into eza kuhlala nenkosikazi kaKlop, kodwa waba nengqondo wajonga kude kumlo omde odibeneyo edolweni kwaye wacinezela inambuzane kumngxunya weebhulukhwe zakhe ngesithupha sakhe.

Yintoni ubufuna ukuyithetha ngaphandle? -akothuka, ethoba amehlo, wabuza u-Ottila.

– Andinamali okanye mayeza.

Ewe, iyacombululeka. Yonke into ihlawula uhlahlo-lwabiwo mali. Ukuba sifumana impumlo.

– Kwaye ukuba asiyifumani?

– Kwaye ukuba asiyifumani, zonke iindleko ziya kuncitshiswa… kuwe.

– Njani?

– Kwaye kunjalo. Ukuba usabuza imibuzo yobudenge, ungaphulukana nomsebenzi wakho. Ndiyifumene?

– Kulungile, kuyaqondakala. Siya nini?

– Umbuzo osisidenge. Kufanele ukuba sele sikhona. Makhe sihambe ngoku!

– Kwaye yintoni kungekudala? Khange ndipakishe isutikheyisi yam?

– Kufuneka sihlale siyilungile. Ubuyazi ukuba ufumana phi umsebenzi… Ngendlela, into enye…

– Yintoni?

– Khange ndipakishe ityesi yam. Ewe asizifuni. Ukufika kwakho, thenga into oyifunayo. Ndinekhadi lebhanki.

– Kwaye ukuba akukho mali yaneleyo?

– Uya kuphosa. -phinda ke ipolisa lesithili lityhale umnwe kwisilingi kunye nesitayile se-pygmy, latsiba, kusetyenziswa amaxesha athile, etafileni, lishukumisa unyawo phambi kwempumlo yeqabane. Ufike wema ngenyawo wazambela itafile ngeenyawo kwicala elisuka eArutun esiya esitulweni sakhe. Iinyembezi kunye nentloko yokuphuma.

– Uhleli ntoni? masihambe! -uye washukumisa isandla sakhe, -, ngokungathi uhamba neSt. Petersburg, watshayela umhlaba…

Bashiye inqaba, beshiya inqaku kuphela kwitsiba emnyango:

«Sukuba nexhala. Sishiya isabelo esingxamisekileyo eSt. Petersburg. Uhlala endaweni yeIncephalate, kunye noIzya – endaweni yam.. Me!»

Kwaye ezantsi kongezwe kolunye ubhalo lwesandla:

«Uxolo, Pupsik, ndiza kubuya njengoko kufuneka! Ngelixa iFlea yakho ihamba inyuka. Ndilinde ndibuye. Mhlawumbi…

U-Izya wayifunda la manqaku, wabhala ephepheni ngesandla sikatata wakhe kunye ne-Intsefalopat, wayifihla kwipokotho yakhe wesula umbhalo obhalwe emnyango.

– Kulungile, yebhokhwe endala, unayo. -Ndithathe ifowuni yam ndathunyelwa kuyo ngotata ngeSMS. Emva koko wangena endlwini wanika umama wakhe inqaku. Ufundile kwaye uxakekile.

Makakhwele. Siza kuyibuyisela. Kwaye akukho lizwi malunga nokuqhubeka kukatata. Ndiyifumene?

– Ewe kunjalo, mama, ndiyaqonda… Kwaye masiyithathe ihagu kumphathi omkhulu, ahh? Ucebisile.

– Uyintoni? Kufuneka senze yonke into ngokomgaqo kunye nokusesikweni.

– Kwaye uyandithuka ngobulungisa?

– Ngumlawuli. Wazi ngcono. Kwaye yena ngokwakhe uya kugwetywa phambi koThixo.

– Ngaba leya ixhonywe eludongeni eofisini?

– Phantse. Kukho i-Iron Felix, isekela lakhe. Kulungile, hamba uye ekhaya.

– ndiyenzile. Mama, ndingahamba indlela yokuhamba emlanjeni?

– Yiya, kodwa khumbula, inja: yiza, ungafiki ekhaya. Ndiyakubulala… Ndiyibulele?

– Ewe. -UIzzy wancuma wanyamalala emva komnyango…

I-APULAZ 3

– Hayi, mlathisi, ndingahlala, intliziyo yam ibuthathaka…

Akukho nto, apha eSt. Petersburg uya kuphefumla igesi kunye nokukhululeka.

UHarutun wayefuna ukuthetha into eza kuhlala nenkosikazi kaKlop, kodwa waba nengqondo wajonga kude kumlo omde odibeneyo edolweni kwaye wacinezela inambuzane kumngxunya weebhulukhwe zakhe ngesithupha sakhe.

Yintoni ubufuna ukuyithetha ngaphandle? -akothuka, ethoba amehlo, wabuza u-Ottila.

– Andinamali okanye mayeza.

Ewe, iyacombululeka. Yonke into ihlawula uhlahlo-lwabiwo mali. Ukuba sifumana impumlo.

– Kwaye ukuba asiyifumani?

– Kwaye ukuba asiyifumani, zonke iindleko ziya kuncitshiswa… kuwe.

– Njani?

– Kwaye kunjalo. Ukuba usabuza imibuzo yobudenge, ungaphulukana nomsebenzi wakho. Ndiyifumene?

– Kulungile, kuyaqondakala. Siya nini?

– Umbuzo osisidenge. Kufanele ukuba sele sikhona. Makhe sihambe ngoku!

– Kwaye yintoni kungekudala? Khange ndipakishe isutikheyisi yam?

– Kufuneka sihlale siyilungile. Ubuyazi ukuba ufumana phi umsebenzi… Ngendlela, into enye…

– Yintoni?

– Khange ndipakishe ityesi yam. Ewe asizifuni. Ukufika kwakho, thenga into oyifunayo. Ndinekhadi lebhanki.

– Kwaye ukuba akukho mali yaneleyo?

– Uya kuphosa. -phinda ke ipolisa lesithili lityhale umnwe kwisilingi kunye nesitayile se-pygmy, latsiba, kusetyenziswa amaxesha athile, etafileni, lishukumisa unyawo phambi kwempumlo yeqabane. Ufike wema ngenyawo wazambela itafile ngeenyawo kwicala elisuka eArutun esiya esitulweni sakhe. Iinyembezi kunye nentloko yokuphuma.

– Kutheni uhleli? masihambe! -uye washukumisa isandla sakhe, -, ngokungathi uhamba neSt. Petersburg, watshayela umhlaba…

Bashiye inqaba, beshiya inqaku kuphela kwitsiba emnyango:

«Sukuba nexhala. Sishiya isabelo esingxamisekileyo eSt. Petersburg. Uhlala endaweni yeIncephalate, kunye noIzya – endaweni yam.. Me!»

Kwaye ezantsi kongezwe kolunye ubhalo lwesandla:

«Uxolo, Pupsik, ndiza kubuya njengoko kufuneka! Ngelixa iFlea yakho ihamba inyuka. Ndilinde ndibuye. Mhlawumbi…

U-Izya wayifunda la manqaku, wabhala ephepheni ngesandla sikatata wakhe kunye ne-Intsefalopat, wayifihla kwipokotho yakhe wesula umbhalo obhalwe emnyango.

– Kulungile, yebhokhwe endala, unayo. -Ndithathe ifowuni yam ndathunyelwa kuyo ngotata ngeSMS. Emva koko wangena endlwini wanika umama wakhe inqaku. Ufundile kwaye uxakekile.

Makakhwele. Siza kuyibuyisela. Kwaye akukho lizwi malunga nokuqhubeka kukatata. Ndiyifumene?

– Ewe kunjalo, mama, ndiyaqonda… Kwaye masiyithathe ihagu kumphathi omkhulu, ahh? Ucebisile.

– Uyintoni? Kufuneka senze yonke into ngokomgaqo kunye nokusesikweni.

– Kwaye uyandithuka ngobulungisa?

– Ngumlawuli. Wazi ngcono. Kwaye yena ngokwakhe uya kugwetywa phambi koThixo.

– Ngaba leya ixhonywe eludongeni eofisini?

– Phantse. Kukho i-Iron Felix, isekela lakhe. Kulungile, hamba uye ekhaya.

– ndiyenzile. Mama, ndingahamba indlela yokuhamba emlanjeni?

– Yiya, kodwa khumbula, inja: yiza, ungafiki ekhaya. Ndiyakubulala… Ndiyibulele?

– Ewe. -UIzzy wancuma wanyamalala emva komnyango…

– Uuh, – umlawuli, oyinzalelwane kwifama yaseLatvia ngokudibeneyo, wanikina intloko, evumela iindwendwe ukuba zigqithe. -Asikho isazela, kucacile ukuba ubuso abuyiyo yaseRussia, kwaye iyunifom yangaphakathi iyatsalwa.

– Kwaye kukho isohlwayo solawulo kuyo.. – USergeant Golytko, ummi waseLviv, ucacisile.

– Nantsi ipasipoti yam, ene-screech, uHarutun Karapetovich kwaye wamnika ipenta. -SiRashiya. NdingumRussia, wam!

– Njengam, -dibanisa ipenti

– Kwaye nam. -ukugcoba amehlo akhe, umlawuli ongezelelweyo.

Ewe, ulungile. – Incwadana yokundwendwela yamagqabi ibhengeze ipenti, – nangona yesibini, – ijongeka iphantsi emabunzini, – Ngaba ungumculi? -kumehlo anemibala eyahlukeneyo, emva koko wehlise ukujonga kwakhe ukujonga ezindlebeni, – okanye u-zoophile?

Amehlo ka-Ottila aqhekezwa kwaye watsala ngokungathi ngumzi, ujonge i-Intsefalopat. Umbutho uphinde wabomvu.

– Kulungile, stitch, zeziphi iinkomo zakho, okanye kwinkcubeko yasekhaya? -umlindi unikezele ipasipoti kuHarutun.

– Ndingumntu onjani umculi? Andinguye umncedisi osisigxina kwilali yalapha eSokolov Stream, kwiLeningrad Region.

– Owu, wena mbi, phuma apha. – igosa elichongiweyo licetyisiwe.

– Nantsi incwadi yam yesazisi.

– Yobumbano, uyatsho? -iserikali sakrwitsha esihlathini sakhe saza safaka imbewu emlonyeni. -tele, ukhululekile, kwaye lo uza kuza nam.

– Ithetha ukuthini into ethi, «yiza nam»? -Ibhedi ibinomsindo. -Makhe ndibize umphathi wam ngoku? Uyakubeka iingqondo zakho…

– Uyabiza, ufowunele apho, e-ofisini yam, kwaye ekuqaleni ndiza kukuvavanya ukuba ukhangele, mhlawumbi ungoyikrexeki okanye ubalekele abazali bakho. Yiza, sihambe. Isicaka samkhalimela, saza sambethelela: nokuba sisibhuqe okanye umpu, u-Ottil wayephethe umpu wokuhlasela kwigumbi lovavanyo isikhululo sikaloliwe. U-Ancephalopath wamlandela kwaye efuna ukuya nomlilo nge-Ottila yakhe, njengoko kwakubonakala ngathi uKlop, wanyamalala kwangoko emva kwikholamu kwaye wenza ngathi akamazi uKlop.

– Harutun, tsalela u-Isolde, makamzise amaxwebhu! -akhwaza uKlop.

«Kwaye ngokukhawuleza,» wongeza lo mphathi, kuba kungenjalo uya kuhlala nathi ixesha elide.»

– Kwaye iya kukhutshwa nini? ubuze uHarutun.

– Ungamisela njani umntu…

– Iintsuku ezintathu? -mdala wancuma.

– Okanye iminyaka emithathu. -uphendule umlindi. -kuba ebengayi kumelana nabasemagunyeni. -uye wancama ucango lwangaphakathi.

I – Incephalopath, ngeminwe yesandla sasekhohlo, yagona i-chin yayo kwaye, ikhula phantsi kwempumlo, yagqiba ekubeni yenze eso sabelo, esimlungeleyo yena kunye neBoss yakhe. Uphume ngokukhawuleza esitishini esiya esitratweni kwaye ngoko nangoko wema.

– ndiyaphi? UHarutun wazibuza.

– Ku-Isolde, wena sidenge. -uphendule ngokutyibilikayo ilizwi elingaphakathi.

– Ke akukho mali? Ndizokuya phi?

– Kwaye wena, ngenxa yesithandwa sakho, yeba, ngaphaya, kule ndoda ejongene namafutha ihleli kwi-jeep emnyama.

– Yakhe, iya kubetha ebusweni. Kwaye awumelanga, ndiyipenti?!

Kwaye ngelixa uHarutun ecebisana nelizwi lakhe langaphakathi, uKlop, eyinike idatha yakhe, wavuka ngokuthobekileyo ngelixa ehleli kwinkawu.

Molo, bum! -Akhwaza umlindi. U-Ottila waphakama wavula amehlo akhe. Ubebeze umlomo wakhe, weva ukuba uthambile emlonyeni wakhe, wazama ukuqokelela amathe ngolwimi, kodwa kwakungekho manzi ngokwaneleyo emlonyeni wakhe wacela indlu yangasese.

– Mlingane, ndingayisebenzisa indlu yangasese?

Abadala baphendula kakuhle bathi, «Inokwenzeka.»

– Kutheni? -U-Ottila wayenomsindo, – ndingumbanjwa, kodwa unenenekazi lokucoca elikwimeko yakho kwaye kufuneka ahlambe umgangatho.

– Ayifanelanga kodwa inyanzelwe ukuba ihlambe i-dolnyak emva kokuncwina kwabantu abangenakhaya. Well, kunjalo njani?

– andiyi kuhlamba inqaku! – Ngokubanzi Bedbug uthe ngokwe nqanaba.

Kulungile ke shwatha ibhulukhwe yakho. Kwaye ukuba kukho into ebethelela umgangatho, uyakulenza inkungu yonke.

– Kuphikisana nomthetho; kufuneka undinike indlu yangasese kunye nefowuni.